Aug 9, 2010

Ad Obituaries: The CEO

Maximus McDick


“A charismatic leader, Maximus McDick inspires his workers and worries about them, because that's what you have to do with the little people: you worry about them.”
- Excerpt from the McDick & Associates employee handbook.

After twenty three years in the ad industry, Maximus McDick made good on his promise that he would die for an account. Five minutes after the potential clients left the office parking lot, Mr. McDick called an emergency reunion in the conference room. After two minutes of silence, it was broken when he started screaming at the creative team about the trash they called a concept and the poor excuse for innovation in their executions. The next grilling came to the executive team for being so idiotic as to trust the judgment of the creative team and on establishing such a silly strategy that wouldn’t fly one bit. The last bit came to the media execs who couldn’t make eye contact after he yelled that he didn’t even know why he was even paying them a salary. When he was summing up how he didn’t know why people insisted on not listening to his strategies to make a 60 second jingle and flawless print ad, TV, radio ad campaign, a sudden look of realization came over his face and he fell dead. Ten minutes later, the clients called, congratulated everyone on an excellent presentation, a solid strategy and the best creative they had seen and that they didn’t need to reach their office to make a decision and that McDick & Associates had just won the entire East Coast business for their account.

A combined celebration of his life, legacy and the account he did not ruin will be celebrated with jell-o shots and lap dances for all employees who will receive a 5% raise after cashing in the insurance for an at work death.

Maximus McDick is survived by his current wife, four ex wives, six children, and a pet piranha named Kim. His ashes will be combined with those remaining in his ash tray and as per established in his will, whatever is not burned shall be fed to the piranha.

Here are some other obituaries:

The creative

the media planner

the executive


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