Sep 25, 2010


Apparently we creative people are magicians. By creative people understand copywriters and artists and by magicians I mean that we're expected to make the waters of mediocrity and corporate bullshit part so we may get to the goal of whatever vision some jackass supervisor has.

And you know jackass is an understatement. If having to work on some crappy project isn't bad enough, there are times where you have an exec, a supervisor or even a client hovering just over your shoulder seeing what every click causes in your artwork or presentation.

For any supervisor that happens to land on this page and this post, please read the following.


The problem is that in their pea brained mind they have a vision of what the artwork should probably look like. The sad part is that even in their mind's eye, that artwork probably blows. I know this for a fact because you can't make a shitty 8 line design croquis with a lame headline scribbled on the right hand corner and not expect at least one set of eyes rolling.

So you’re sitting their while Jizmo the thought-o-naut tries to will their shitty design through your eyes and hands via telepathic instant messaging. You’re irritated as it is because you’re already late to something that’s endlessly more interesting than this. It could be anything and it doesn’t matter, but you have to stay there because you are the chosen one and you must see the mission through to the end.

Your teeth grate against each other, your eyes strain, your muscles tense, your spine punishes you for forcing it to be in a sitting position for upwards of 6 hours and you endure. Suggestion, after suggestion after inane suggestion and you start scanning the perimeter for things you can use for a surprise attack.

“Why don’t you reverse the watermark?”

“How about if we include a 7th logo?”

“I think you should include some pictures related to what we’re talking about.”

Gems people. That’s what you get thrown with and it isn’t pretty because every idea almost sounds like an insult. You’ve been doing this for years. You’ve nailed it often enough to trust in your skills. But here you have a corporate gargoyle on your shoulder just pissing you off… and there’s no sunlight to take care of that problem.

Then they want something done that takes about 2 hours to do. You let them know how long it’ll take and the answer to the information?

“But isn’t there a command that let’s you do that quicker?”

You think for a second and respond.

“Let me try something.” Click, click, click. “Damnit.”

“What’s wrong?” they respond.

“The command I’m trying isn’t working. I think it’s a bug in the system.” Click, Click, Click. “ See? Nothing’s happening. Control-F-U. Nothing. Control-F-U. Control-F-U. Control-F-U. Damn. I guess I can’t do that. But let’s keep trying.”

That you don’t need a life doesn’t mean that other people have to suffer the same fate Mr. or Mrs. Supervisor. So kindly, let’s finish this shit so we can be on our merry way. Good beer and hot sex wait for us living humanoids that don’t shit in patterns resembling the company logo.



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