Sep 7, 2010

Looking for Me's baby: The Update.

Well I just realized that you could write a whole blog or book about this experience. We're now up to almost a year of going little by little and doing - pun intended - baby steps in order to get there. And today was one of those days where it was sort of funny and hopeful and suddenly it dawned on me... I haven't told you guys about it!

So... last time I wrote about this little adventure, we were about to find out if at last we were having a baby. It had been a month and some change that I was late, if I don't remember correctly, and we had high hopes. Well, turned out that it was just the beginning of a new phase in this rollercoaster.

Of course, I cried that night after getting my hopes up. My babe held me and didn't let me go until I just slowly got the nerve to smile again and start all over. So close, yet so far away, right?

Let's fast forward to right now and where we are today. Seems that my body is slowly learning how to cope without the pills and although it's fighting me still about it, we're now at least living together in almost peace. It has turned out to take almost a year of me leaving the pills and my body accepting the fact that it's over, a baby is coming our way.

This. Is. Not. Easy. Having a baby is not so simple for some of us women out there. This has been blood tests, different dosages of medications, adverse reactions, side effects, confusion, shitload of money spent, arguments with mom (she knows everything, according to her, about doctors and ob/gyns), confusing answers from every doctor/book/blog/friends... etc.

It is astounding how much your brain can want something but your body thinks different. I went from having a normal life with my pills, to a total nightmare without them. Yep, I almost quit a couple of times because I felt so damn weird and sick... but I didn't. I'm not quitting.

Today it was funny, I went to my new fertility/obgyn doc, I had a student doctor there with her. At this point in my search, I don't give a shit who sees my poonany, just help me get a baby and I'll flash the damn thing so I didn't mind at all this weird strange little boy/man being with us while I got my sonogram on. Trust me, this is not me a couple of months or even a year ago. I would have kindly just left the office and changed docs. Funny how one stops caring for stupid things when you have bigger priorities in mind.

So the good news is, I can have a baby after all. I mean, my doc said I could with no problem. That was the good news of the year! I thought I couldn't and today I got my confirmation, we still have a go. Me can reproduce herself, people! She's just going to give me a little help on the way to make it easier.

Yup. Fertility drugs are next in line.

Get ready for some fucked up emotional posts from me, I guess. And she told me the best line in the whole wide world today, which I would like to quote:

"Get ready, drink your multivitamins. This baby is coming very soon!"

Oh my God. We're going to be parents... *HUGE SMILE*

Wish me luck, until next time and I hope with good news... Me.


Andrea V. Lewis said...

Good Luck! Know, that your posts give me hope. Next year we will also start "trying" to become parents as well. Thank you for writing about your journey. :)

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