Nov 29, 2010

A different point of screw: Porno

Men and women are quite different from each other. This isn’t the most brilliant thing I’ve ever written, it’s just something so fucking basic, that it’s amazing so many people still don’t get it and want to compare apples with vaginas. Take most any topic and though you will find people who are in tune, the reality is that there are tendencies among both genders and like morning wood, differences will arise.

Take pornography for instance. While most women I know are marginally curious about pornography, men are expected to treat it as a sport. They compare stats, know names, clearly remember the first porn they saw and find it totally appropriate to dedicate 3 hours to watching porn. Most women I know can get their porn fix, but it’s not like an everyday thing and they don’t have to regularly watch porn. Many are the men whom I know that need to see at least a clip every two or three days. I might add that the amount of guys I know who binge on porn easily outnumber those who occasionally browse.

Then you take the scenes themselves and start analyzing and see that sometimes guys want dialogue and other times they just want new ideas of where to splatter their jizz. We’re taking notes while women watch with mild amusement. I’m not saying that women don’t like or even love porn, I’m just saying that to guys, this is serious business and that emotionally, most of us never make it past that 13 year old mentality.

Then come the fetishes. Black, Asian, Latina, White, Redhead, Blonde, Brunette, real tits, fake tits, schoolgirl outfits, body paint, milfs, teens, food, animals, etc. Pretty much anything that can differentiate one woman from another will be something that a man takes into account when making their porn selection. That’s because us guys are so damn ridiculous that every little detail is enough to justify watching that extra clip. Some of us like big tits, some like small tits, some like handsized, and others just want to be suffocated via mammarian assault. Then you’ve got legs, height, weight, ass, hips, skin color, clothing, outfits, etc. As if that weren’t enough, there’s the attitude. Some porn stars are aggressive, others are submissive. Some give great head and others do freaky shit. Blowjobs, handjobs, footjobs, titty fucking, ass fucking, rim jobs, fisting, smurfing, doggystyle, missionary, cowgirl, etc. Hell if you put face sitting, teddy bear, squirting or gaping in most any search engine, you’re likely to get hundreds or thousands of results. And to a lot of guys, they’d love to see it all.

For a lot of women though, porn is porn is porn. It doesn’t matter what position, what they’re wearing, or who’s fucking, as long as the sex is good, who cares? For men, every single little detail of the sexual act is worthy of a niche following. From positions, to hair styles, to where the people cum, they’re all search parameters that get us that much closer to the finding the exact poison we want to see at a specific point in time.

Then come gonzo flicks, amateur porn, professional porn stars and the gimmicks behind every online site. This girl wears glasses, this one still wears braces, these people fuck in a bus, that site is dedicated to filming scenes of the way you’d love to earn an A in the classroom. Women hear this and they can’t help but see a baseball stat freak mentality applied to porn, and it’s more than just a bit weird and it happens more than you think. Then you ask which is your favorite pornstar and you get such varied answers for different reasons that no wonder women think we’re pigs. Of course, quite often there’s a very tender spot in our hearts for the very first pornstar that really fucked us up as we were growing up.

For me, it was Christy Canyon and I openly say it. For others it was Jenna Jameson, Ginger Lynn, Tracy Lords, Marylin Chambers, Asia Carrera or Kay Parker. Some people found a stray videotape, others clicked play on the VCR one day at 3:00 PM and found the surprise, other people even inherited the family porn, you know that flick that has been passed down for 3 generations and has been jacked off to more than all JC Penney catalogs combined.

To women, I’m pretty sure it isn’t the same because taboos have been firmly established that girls shouldn’t watch or enjoy porn and that masturbating is the devil’s work. Add to this that there are still an ample supply of assholes that insist women who finger themselves are sluts and you see the problem. It’s all due to chauvinism and our double standard ways of life. In my case, I’ve never had a problem with either and actually enjoy when I got that surprise that a girl does really naughty things and has watched her dad’s entire porn collection. I don’t find that slutlike behavior and I actually applaud that I can have a conversation without feeling like a goat boy who emotionally hasn’t surpassed that stage where we almost yank our dicks off from jacking off so much.

But though things have gotten better, women still seem to be forced into behaving ladylike all the time and from a feminist, trust me, you’re just missing out and if you like the type of guy with that mentality, you will most likely stay in your closet of horniness instead of expressing yourself.

And don’t think I’m condoning kids binging on porn either. Hell I had to work for my porn and I came to appreciate each and every single JPEG and magazine I acquired. I would have to wait a minute for a pic and hours for a clip and since it was hard to binge I had some type of control and although I loved porn with a passion, I didn’t feel the need to be fucking at 15, as is the case with tons of kids nowadays. It’s not that teens shouldn’t be sexually curious or even adventurous. Saying the opposite would make me a huge hypocrite, but seriously, with so many fun things that don’t involve a penis inside a vagina to do, I don’t see the rush some kids have to embarrass themselves. Instead of appreciating their adventures, it just becomes another collection hobby and they don’t appreciate any of what they get. Going from making out to fucking is like going from laying down as a baby to a full blown sprint. Though some people may do it, they will inevitably have some sexually cognitive difficulties and won’t know how to get a pussy wet even if they get an instructional manual.

But don’t let me get too moral on ya. After all we’re talking about porn. What I think I’m trying to get to is that porn isn’t actually bad for you. Yeah, yeah, you can talk to me about core family values all you want, but if sexuality is something to be sprinkled with guilt, then something’s going to come out wrong in your development. Sex ed is as important as ever and in a time where equality should be at the core of most conversations, I think pornography shows just how hypocritical we still are. You just have to check out Nina Hartley and her interviews on talk shows and the comments people attack her with. I say you have to check it, because if her looks and her sexual appetite don’t turn you on, the intellect this woman possesses should be enough to win over even Noam Chomsky. She speaks with sense and at the core of her message there are two vital points: 1.) what’s the big deal? 2.) why aren’t we supposed to enjoy porn?

And about enjoying porn. There’s something really interesting that happens with guys and it’s that sometimes we watch stuff just for the mere shock factor of it. You see, there’s porn we love to see and things we’d like to try out, and then there’s the dark shit we see that shouldn’t turn us on but do, even if we’d never want to try it in real life. If that last sentence doesn't make any sense, then you haven’t seen all the porn you need to and you need to get your ass online and enjoy all the free fucking goodness the Internet has to offer.

So to all my porn loving brethren, those who have gigabytes of porn and who’ve watched through enough clips to be able to tell whether tits are real or not with two frame’s worth of footage… I salute you.

And to all you women who love porn and choke their loofas between their legs. I salute you as well and I’m thankful for your dirty thoughts and the liberation you feel every time you feel the need to shower those extra ten minutes.

To all of you who watch and learn and still respect boundaries, likes and obey the do’s and don’ts established initially before you bang one another, I say to you…

Cheers, cheers, Cheerrrss… CCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssss.
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