Nov 17, 2010

Note to all Men: Please stop with the soft handshakes for women. Thank you.

I just came from a short meeting. It was a quick one, in and out in a flash. The person that we were meeting was very nice, well mannered. But still, he pissed me off. Big time. Why?

He gave me a wimpy handshake. You know what I mean. The kind of handshake men give to women where they almost don't grab your hand, they just hold on to it like we're going to brake.

I HATE WIMPY WOMEN HANDSHAKES. Please, men out there, stop it!

Look, I know you maybe were raised to "think" that women are more delicate and that we should be treated in softer way. We're oh so fragile, so please, control those great muscles with us because we might break. Damn it man, this is in no way a reality. While some men think that we have smaller hands - and some of us do - that does not mean we can't handle your sheer dude-force. Throw that testosterone power right at me man. I'll grab your stuff, hard core.

In fact, I really despise wimpy handshakes. Every person who walks this earth deserves a decent and powerful handshake. Not the "Hey, Bro" shakes where this takes forever in a very interesting form of steps, just a nice firm grab of the hand. The kind of force that says "Nice to meet you". Simple, to the point.

When you sort of grab my hand and give me just a "yeah, you're a woman so I'm not going to hurt you", you're just insulting me. Don't you notice that I am giving you back the handshake that you're supposed to give me? No, I'm not being a dick. I'm giving you the respect that you deserve and measuring it in a decent hand-to-hand grabbing force.

I'm not a princess, I'm definitively not a queen. Those women who insist on getting those types of handshakes have a place in society. A place, by the way, that sucks. But that is completely another post.

Look men. Maybe there will be two in ten women who insist on being like a douche princess, delicate flower. I can bet that the rest of us are waiting for the day that wimpy handshakes will be over so we can focus on other stuff.

While I have boobs and you have a schlonger, if you take that little detail aside, we are the same. Our bodies have almost the same mechanism. Granted, some men are stronger - and I repeat, some because I know some women out there who would kick some serious manly ass - that doesn't mean that women will break for a simple and decent handshake.

Stop with the greeting prejudice, for God's sake. Grab on to my hand and say hi... and mean it.

Thank you.


RestrictionsApply said...

That's why I hug... so I can feel their nipples on my chest. BAZINGA!

Me said...


Jake P. said...

How about if I say, "I'm from the TSA...May I go inside your waistband to fondle your private parts?"

And as far as being treated like a douche princess, did you read this a few weeks ago? Candidate Files Criminal Complaint Over Firm Handshake

Me said...

"Sir, if it means I'll survive this plane, go for it. But at least, tell me you love me while you do it".

As for the report, I can only say: examples of this absurdity give women a bad name. Well, and also the fact that the majority of women drive like shit...

Yeah. I said it! LOL.

(Good think that I drive like a trucker dude - and swear while doing it too!)

Joker said...

Quite simply, some guys just don't know how to shake a hand. I've had my fair share of men who've shaken my hand and felt like a twix that staid in your car the entire day, or that tomato in the back of the fridge you forgot to toss, or a bag of oatmeal. I actually laughed in a guys face once and said, dude, that's NOT how you shake a hand (sue, me I'm honest). The thing is that if a guy shakes a woman's hand like that, that's a whole other level of dickness and they definitely are the type that talk about all the chicks from the office they would bang, yet spend every Friday night eating a pint of Haagen Dahz frozen yogurt and crying while watching Steel Magnolias.

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