Apr 30, 2010
Apr 29, 2010
My Erection is strong thanks to Soundgarden
Fuck viagra, fuck Cialis, fuck the pump... My cock is hard and proud. Soundgarden is back... need I say more.
Labels:
Chris Cornell,
Soundgarden
Apr 28, 2010
If your company MAKES you take a vacation... YOU SUCK DONKEY BALLS.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE IN THIS BUSINESS?
You mean to tell me that you have sooooooooo much work and you are sooooooooooooooo important at your boring ad agency that you just can't find time to take a few days off? WHAT? Will life end as we know it if you go scratch your scrotum at a nice beach like Bora Bora? Will human kind be at danger if you decide to smoke a joint while walking the streets of Paris? NO, asshole! NO!
Why am I still writing about this? Because apparently people in the advertising world are still making an ass out of themselves. While there are a few of us who are staying the course and living a normal life, and by that I mean leaving work early when we can, making sure that we take the time to end all our jobs as fast as we can and not overthink them so we can enjoy some time with our families and friends... there are some cocks - and yes, I mean people who are to be associated with penises - who just work work work work and work so damn much that they actually achieve to not enjoy a moment off, enough to have human resources tell them enough is enough. Idiots.
So again I have to write it. Yes. I hate repeating myself, but hey, some of you out there are not listening or understanding the simple fact. So it's my god given duty to write this piece of shit line, again, so that one day people go... Aaaaaawww shit, Me had a point:
THERE IS NO MEDAL FOR WORKAHOLICS. DEAL WITH IT.
You will not get more clients by working yourself to death. You will not make your boss like you more. You may get a raise, but trust me, since you have no life, no dough is enough to pay for what you are doing to yourself and the people around you. You will not be applauded at some anal retentive company meeting by working non stop for months. Work until 2 am? You suck. Go to sleep and get really productive.
For Advertising's God sake: don't be the cliché. Really. That is sooooooooooo done. Get your shit together. Get a calendar and mark two or three weeks and actually enjoy watching time get nearer to your goal. When you are having a Margarita and remembering how good life really is outside the office... write me. And send weed.
Much love. Me.
You can kill me any day of the week, Jack.
In fact, let this post be a total and absolute evidence and will. Yes, I'm posting this as some sort of written statement so that my cowriters and the few people who actually know who I really am can print this and take it to the hospital and my docs: If I ever have a very painful disease which turns me to a vegetable or just makes my life a living hell, you can call Dr Kevorkian or any mercy doctor and just pull the plug. Really. Do me in. Take me to Nirvana. Whatever you want, just do it.
Ok so now that I've done my homework, let me tell you about the movie. YOU GOTTA SEE IT! Apart from the fact that Pacino just nails it again and again like he's never done in a while, Levinson shines directing, the music is spot on, the photography is simply beautiful... this movie definitely will spark some conversations down at your living room.
Yes, the doctor sometimes was his worst enemy. But anything he did surely does not come close to the fact that no one can explain why, if a person is suffering and wants his or her own life to end, that for someone to help him do it with no pain is murder.
And I'm not talking about some emo douchebag who is depressed and wants to die because little weird Betty doesn't talk to him. Those patients were suffering. Real pain, real anguish. Kevorkian was just making it all go away, peacefully. And for that, for helping another human being... he went to jail.
HBO is currently showing it so please, mark your calendars. In a world where people are still voting Yes for Proposition 8, where people are still making women feel bad about their right to choose, this is just one more fight that we just cannot lose.
So, Doc! I know you're free... Are you taking patients again? Let us know!
Apr 26, 2010
Apr 23, 2010
Make Beer, not war?
Restrictions sent me this trailer by email and I think it has Netflix potential. Enjoy.
Apr 22, 2010
5 Movie Musicals that Define: Me
Face it. They don't make them like they used to.
The first bit of info is, while I was not born in the times of musicals at their highest form, I was raised on them. My grandfather was an avid movie fan and every weekend he made me sit down with him to watch, what he called, the greats. A couple of days ago one of my favorite musicals was running on cable and it made me think... which are my ultimate favorites, of all the ones that Papa made me love?
In order of preference, oh yes, here are my top Five.
1) Mary Poppins.
Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, dammit! I LOVED THIS MOVIE. ADORE IT. When I was little, my mom took me to the movies to watch one of the many revampings. I can remember the day, exactly still after all these years, I can remember watching the sky and telling mom that I thought I saw Mary fling around. Funny how I cannot remember much of being a kid, but that image is still very vivid.
2) My Fair Lady.
If there is one movie with a perfect score, this is it. What a joy to listen. The costume design was simply superb. When Audrey Hepburn walks in the Ascot Race (which was and still is one of the most awesome designed sequence, watch it here and enjoy the simplicity of black and white costume designs), I wanted to be her. The most incredible thing is, you see that movie today and it still is completely relevant.
3) Singing in the Rain.
Loved, loved, LOVED every moment of it. This is one of my Grandpa's favorite and it sure turned out for me as well. Gene Kelly was a joy to watch.
Singing in the Rain - Good Morning !! - For more of the funniest videos, click here
4) Hello Dolly.
How can you not love Barbra Streisand in this movie? There is one reason why some of its music was used in Wall-E. Because it is simply perfect. When Dolly walks in the restaurant you just wish people greeted you that way, always.
5) Gigi.
This is just a very sweet movie about a kid who grows up and falls in love. It has soooooo many not PC moments, you wouldn't believe. In fact, try to take a tequila shot every time you hear something with a little Male chauvinism and you'd end up drunk.
Ah. In a world where Moulin Rouge made me gag and want to kill myself, I know I can always just pop one DVD and enjoy some classic childhood moments with a musical. Thanks Papa for teaching me that movies with people who sing are worthwhile.
The first bit of info is, while I was not born in the times of musicals at their highest form, I was raised on them. My grandfather was an avid movie fan and every weekend he made me sit down with him to watch, what he called, the greats. A couple of days ago one of my favorite musicals was running on cable and it made me think... which are my ultimate favorites, of all the ones that Papa made me love?
In order of preference, oh yes, here are my top Five.
1) Mary Poppins.
Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, dammit! I LOVED THIS MOVIE. ADORE IT. When I was little, my mom took me to the movies to watch one of the many revampings. I can remember the day, exactly still after all these years, I can remember watching the sky and telling mom that I thought I saw Mary fling around. Funny how I cannot remember much of being a kid, but that image is still very vivid.
2) My Fair Lady.
If there is one movie with a perfect score, this is it. What a joy to listen. The costume design was simply superb. When Audrey Hepburn walks in the Ascot Race (which was and still is one of the most awesome designed sequence, watch it here and enjoy the simplicity of black and white costume designs), I wanted to be her. The most incredible thing is, you see that movie today and it still is completely relevant.
3) Singing in the Rain.
Loved, loved, LOVED every moment of it. This is one of my Grandpa's favorite and it sure turned out for me as well. Gene Kelly was a joy to watch.
Singing in the Rain - Good Morning !! - For more of the funniest videos, click here
4) Hello Dolly.
How can you not love Barbra Streisand in this movie? There is one reason why some of its music was used in Wall-E. Because it is simply perfect. When Dolly walks in the restaurant you just wish people greeted you that way, always.
5) Gigi.
This is just a very sweet movie about a kid who grows up and falls in love. It has soooooo many not PC moments, you wouldn't believe. In fact, try to take a tequila shot every time you hear something with a little Male chauvinism and you'd end up drunk.
Ah. In a world where Moulin Rouge made me gag and want to kill myself, I know I can always just pop one DVD and enjoy some classic childhood moments with a musical. Thanks Papa for teaching me that movies with people who sing are worthwhile.
Apr 21, 2010
How much did I love Kick Ass? I now believe I was Hit Girl when I was a child.
When my boyfriend told me that Kick Ass was almost made for me, I honestly didn't get it. He said that it was made for people like me and how I thought about anything comic book or superhero related. I didn't understand what he meant.Until we went to see Kick Ass the movie. And I totally got it. What a great movie! Holy Buddha, I'm telling you... if you like really foul language, if you crave blood and really fucked up ways to die, if you were desperately looking for Nicolas Cage to act like a genius... THIS IS THE MOVIE FOR YOU.
If you've ever read a Comic Book, if you've done time in any line for a movie or Comic Convention, then look no further than Kick Ass to enjoy the benefits of being a member of what cannot be named anything else but this: A Geek Life.
Let me give you the basics: Kick Ass is the tale of a very cute kid who decides one day to actually become what no man has dared to be. A superhero. Well, it's not going to be easy and it will hurt like a mother fucker. Like the guys at Totally Rock Show said in their review about the movie; hilarity ensues.
The script is dead on funny, real and sweet. Being a teenager cannot be written any better. And let me tell you, every damn actor in this movie rocks. Starting off with my man Nic Cage. DUDE! You are back! I was missing you! I would totally nominate you for an Oscar for this role! Thank you! You didn't overact yourself one bit! And I am not kidding, this movie was exactly what you needed.
Kick Ass is a gift for being weird, in every way. It shows that, in the end, we were right. Nerd is the new cool indeed. San Diego Comic Con is the biggest entertainment event. Movies based on comic books rip the box office a new one, month after month. The end audience? Geeks. We rule the world. Period.
Well kiddies, it's pretty simple. If you're craving to laugh, go "eeeeeeeew", scream and applaud like a teenager, just remember not to bring the kids - unless you want them to learn some pretty fucked up language - and go see this movie!
Enjoy!
I'm Calling Bullshit on the iPhone Leak. Bull. SHIT.
For those tech people out there, let me just dive right in there: Read about the iPhone leak, total bullshit. Really. This was the most cool scam ever, granted. But honestly, does not make any sense.
A guy leaves it at a bar and you mean to tell me that it ends up at Gizmodo? Fuck that shit, I believed in Santa one time, that basically corners the "imaginary stories" department in my lifetime.
Ok so let me backtrack again. You mean to tell me that a random guy gets this phone, which by the way will be disabled in a couple of hours, so by pure idiocy the guys from Apple will not be able to track it (bullshit!)... Apple? Disables a shitload important iPhone, without thinking, shit, we might trace this fucker and get it ourselves??? OOOOOH sure.
So the new idiot that has it decides to sell the shit and actually gets in touch with Gizmodo. An average guy actually sees the potential of this item and thinks, money. SURE! Grab my ovaries and call me Shirley, I'm calling Gizmodo tomorrow to see how easy it actually is to sell them something. Maybe they want to buy my newly found redesigned Slap Chop!
Sorry. I'm not buying this shit. Apple, come clean. You just planted the goddamned thing. You wanted to make it "virally interesting", and it worked. All of us regular assholes are writing about your aw-so-slick new phone. Great. Now fess up and just tell it like it is. This is just sooooooooo perfectly done. The letter. The oh shit we made such a huge mistake we just couldn't find it story. Really. We're all adults here. Just confess.
Liked how it looks, by the way. Slim is good, always!
A guy leaves it at a bar and you mean to tell me that it ends up at Gizmodo? Fuck that shit, I believed in Santa one time, that basically corners the "imaginary stories" department in my lifetime.
Ok so let me backtrack again. You mean to tell me that a random guy gets this phone, which by the way will be disabled in a couple of hours, so by pure idiocy the guys from Apple will not be able to track it (bullshit!)... Apple? Disables a shitload important iPhone, without thinking, shit, we might trace this fucker and get it ourselves??? OOOOOH sure.
So the new idiot that has it decides to sell the shit and actually gets in touch with Gizmodo. An average guy actually sees the potential of this item and thinks, money. SURE! Grab my ovaries and call me Shirley, I'm calling Gizmodo tomorrow to see how easy it actually is to sell them something. Maybe they want to buy my newly found redesigned Slap Chop!
Sorry. I'm not buying this shit. Apple, come clean. You just planted the goddamned thing. You wanted to make it "virally interesting", and it worked. All of us regular assholes are writing about your aw-so-slick new phone. Great. Now fess up and just tell it like it is. This is just sooooooooo perfectly done. The letter. The oh shit we made such a huge mistake we just couldn't find it story. Really. We're all adults here. Just confess.
Liked how it looks, by the way. Slim is good, always!
Apr 19, 2010
To the Producers of SNL: What is this shit and why did you air it?
I don't even have words to explain how much this piece of shit music begins to suck donkey cock. Really. I guess there's an audience for this crap, because hey, shit sells. Just listening to this chick actually makes me want to hit someone. HER. Hard. Give her the Reservoir Dogs treatment, if you get my drift.
Does this chick deserve to be at SNL? Really? Fuck! Even Justin Bieber had better singing chops, honestly! SNL people, two down. You got one more chance, don't fuck it up! Stop bringing shit artists and get with the program!
Apr 18, 2010
Saturday Night Fights
As mentioned before, tonight had some pretty good fights on paper and to a certain degree, they delivered. I wasn't floored, but I was very entertained and saw some very interesting outcomes for future fights.
First off: Edison Miranda Vs Lucian Bute
Held in Canada, Lucian Bute is the hometown favorite to put it lightly. This means the crowd will be partisan, the judges could be partisan and the referree might look uot a lot more for the best interest of the Romanian born Canadian superstar. That said, the matchup poses one of the best 168 pounders in the world against a guy who can punch through walls. Here's a brief sumup of what happened.
Round 1
Both fighters come out tentative and the biggest surprise for me is how controlled and disciplined Miranda looks and is boxing. I see a jab, some defense and footwork that wasn't there before. Apparently work with Joe Goozen has been kind. Regardless of the improvements in the first round, Bute scores more in a slow round so he gets the extra point.
10-9 Bute
Round 2
Another slow round. Miranda still looks composed and starts putting some punches together. Close round but I thought Miranda did enough with some jabs and some aggresiveness to score the round.
10-9 Miranda
Round 3
Bute comes out and putting punches together. He hits Miranda with a solid shot and slightly stuns the Columbian born slugger. Miranda poses not once, not twice but three times after getting tagged with solid shots. After the third pose and me kind of minding his clowning around, Bute lands an uppercut that almost rearranges Miranda's jaw. Miranda goes down. Beats the count but looks wobbly and the ref waves it off.
Lucian Bute wins via knockout
Recap:
Lucian Bute is without a doubt one of the best super middleweights in the world and he's not fighting in the Super Six tournament probably because of contractual obligations more than anything. When he shortens his punches, it's a great thing to see and apart from good skills, he's got pop. I just mind the refereeing in Canada a bit because I think Miranda could have continued if only to get finished in the same round. I'm not saying I want a fighter to receive more punishment than is humane, but he deserves the fight to go on a little more than that. Was Bute's shot solid? You bet. But could Miranda continue? I think so. But that's a judgment call more than anything and it shouldn't take away from Bute's great performance.
Second for the night and the fight I wanted to see: Kelly Pavlik VS Sergio Martínez
Ever since his loss to Hopkins, Kelly Pavlik has had a tough time inside the ring and out. He's lost street credibility for having negotiations for a Paul Williams fight fall through a couple of times. So he's fighting for respect more than anything. Sergio Martínez just came off a very close split decision loss to Paul Williams in a fight I thought he won, but two judges saw it otherwise. One who scored a credible scorecard and some other schmuck that wasn't watching the fight. ON paper, Kelly is the bigger stronger guy but Martínez is the faster guy and he can run from Boardwalk hall to his native town of Quilmes and back and still have enough to spar a few rounds. Here's what I saw.
Round 1
I hear Mickey from the Rocky movies in my head. The name of the game is speed and Martínez makes Pavlik look like Frankestein. Big and powerful but slow. For his efforts, Pavlik is rewarded with a cut on his left eye.
Martínez 10-9
Round 2
The phrases outclassed start creeping into my mind and Martínez is almost making Kelly look foolish.
Martínez 10-9
Round 3
Martínez controls the speed and distance of the fight. He lands single shots and combinations and isn't tagged with most anything worth mentioning.
Martínez 10-9
Round 4
Martínez is busting up the left side of Pavlik's face. his counter right hook and right jab have found a home, and the address is the left side of Kelly's face. No one is throwing or landing pretty much anything on the body.
martínez 10-9
Round 5
Kelly finally starts to close the gap in the ring. He lands a couple of good shots and is effectiveluy pushing Martínez to the ropes. I still think Martínez wins the round, but the momentum is on Kelly's side.
Martínez 10-9
Round 6
Kelly establishes his jab. He starts jabbing on top of Martinez's jab and starts blocking the Argentinian's punches. Kelly inspires memories of his fight against Jermain Taylor. Resurging to clearly win the sixth round through solid boxing, effective defense and crisp counter punching.
Pavlik 10-9
Round 7
Pavlik really starts letting his hands go and you see the immediate effect. He continues to block shots and starts tagging Martínez with lefts and rights. Midway through the round, he cuffs Martínez behind the back of the head, and tags him with a solid right that sends him to the floor. Say what you will, it's still a knockdown and the momentum is all Pavlik.
Pavlik 10-8
Round 8
Pavlik continues to pick off shots and Martínez starts to look weary and tired. Kelly pushes forth and continues to catch his opponents punches and offer out answers.
Pavlik 10-9
Round 9
Martínez lands a left hand on the right eye of Pavlik and opens up a gash. The sequence of punches and the sheer dominance of the Argentinian offers up a display that could eventually put the guy in the pound for pound rankings. All of the momentum Pavlik had was sapped away and it's all Martínez.
Martínez 10-9
Round 10
Martínez continues to throw punches with both hands and connect with both hands. It wasn't the washout that was the 9th round, but it was close. Kelly can't see the punches and he doesn't have anything to answer the Argentinian. To boot,Kelly's corner has no chance of closing the cuts on both of Kelly's eyes.
Martínez 10-9
Round 11
Kelly simply can't see the punches coming and Martínez obliges his blind spots by continuing to pepper both eyes with straight lefts, left hooks, jabs, and counter right hooks.
Martínez 10-9
Round 12
Martínez lowers his output slightly but Kelly is gassed and barring a knockout has no chance of winning. Except he's not in the ring fighting as if he needs a knockout. Martínez controls the action and dominates exchanges until the end of the fight.
Sergio Martínez Wins the Middleweight Bout
Recap
Sergio Martínez was the worst opponent for Kelly Pavlik for all the right reasons. He's a south paw, he's got speed and he's got stamina. Add to that natural gifts that show flashes of true pound for pound brilliance and you've got a world class fighter that can fight twenty rounds. Kelly actually did magnificent when he changed tactics and adjusted to the Argentinian's speed and style. He was countering everything and things were looking bright for him until he got cut in a bad spot. Then it was all downhill. Martínez connected at will and showed true grit to win a very appropriate unanimous decision to take the title away from Pavlik. That said, this is probably one of the last two or three fights for Kelly at middleweight. He came into the ring basically twenty pounds heavier than at the weigh-in and I'm sure that had something to do with his performance. Sergio Martínez though, showed why he's a fighter to watch out for. He's slick, fast, has pretty good boxing skills and a ton of heart and resolve. He won the title fair and square after some very questionable results. Next for him is probably a rematch with either Pavlik or Williams. The fight we want to see is with Williams, but Kelly definitely deserves the rematch because if he hadn't gotten caught, I'm sure the result would have been very different. What can't be denied though is the true sportsmanship from both Martínez and Pavlik. A lot of respect in both camps, no trash talking, and just a solid fight. (Three things a certain self proclaimed best boxer ever should consider learning)
Regardless though, a good if not great night for boxing. The bouts were entertaining, and we saw Lucian bute put himself in a position to rain on the parade of any of the super six super middleweights. Miranda would have fared better if he hadn't clowned around and I truly hope his next fight is a victory for him. Pavlik suffers yet another detour in his career and Sergio Martínez commands the audience.
So to the boxers that put on good fights, the promoters that negotiate good bouts and fight nights without the BS, sans the reality tv antics, and with just good boxin, I salute you.
Cheers
First off: Edison Miranda Vs Lucian Bute
Held in Canada, Lucian Bute is the hometown favorite to put it lightly. This means the crowd will be partisan, the judges could be partisan and the referree might look uot a lot more for the best interest of the Romanian born Canadian superstar. That said, the matchup poses one of the best 168 pounders in the world against a guy who can punch through walls. Here's a brief sumup of what happened.
Round 1
Both fighters come out tentative and the biggest surprise for me is how controlled and disciplined Miranda looks and is boxing. I see a jab, some defense and footwork that wasn't there before. Apparently work with Joe Goozen has been kind. Regardless of the improvements in the first round, Bute scores more in a slow round so he gets the extra point.
10-9 Bute
Round 2
Another slow round. Miranda still looks composed and starts putting some punches together. Close round but I thought Miranda did enough with some jabs and some aggresiveness to score the round.
10-9 Miranda
Round 3
Bute comes out and putting punches together. He hits Miranda with a solid shot and slightly stuns the Columbian born slugger. Miranda poses not once, not twice but three times after getting tagged with solid shots. After the third pose and me kind of minding his clowning around, Bute lands an uppercut that almost rearranges Miranda's jaw. Miranda goes down. Beats the count but looks wobbly and the ref waves it off.
Lucian Bute wins via knockout
Recap:
Lucian Bute is without a doubt one of the best super middleweights in the world and he's not fighting in the Super Six tournament probably because of contractual obligations more than anything. When he shortens his punches, it's a great thing to see and apart from good skills, he's got pop. I just mind the refereeing in Canada a bit because I think Miranda could have continued if only to get finished in the same round. I'm not saying I want a fighter to receive more punishment than is humane, but he deserves the fight to go on a little more than that. Was Bute's shot solid? You bet. But could Miranda continue? I think so. But that's a judgment call more than anything and it shouldn't take away from Bute's great performance.
Second for the night and the fight I wanted to see: Kelly Pavlik VS Sergio Martínez
Ever since his loss to Hopkins, Kelly Pavlik has had a tough time inside the ring and out. He's lost street credibility for having negotiations for a Paul Williams fight fall through a couple of times. So he's fighting for respect more than anything. Sergio Martínez just came off a very close split decision loss to Paul Williams in a fight I thought he won, but two judges saw it otherwise. One who scored a credible scorecard and some other schmuck that wasn't watching the fight. ON paper, Kelly is the bigger stronger guy but Martínez is the faster guy and he can run from Boardwalk hall to his native town of Quilmes and back and still have enough to spar a few rounds. Here's what I saw.
Round 1
I hear Mickey from the Rocky movies in my head. The name of the game is speed and Martínez makes Pavlik look like Frankestein. Big and powerful but slow. For his efforts, Pavlik is rewarded with a cut on his left eye.
Martínez 10-9
Round 2
The phrases outclassed start creeping into my mind and Martínez is almost making Kelly look foolish.
Martínez 10-9
Round 3
Martínez controls the speed and distance of the fight. He lands single shots and combinations and isn't tagged with most anything worth mentioning.
Martínez 10-9
Round 4
Martínez is busting up the left side of Pavlik's face. his counter right hook and right jab have found a home, and the address is the left side of Kelly's face. No one is throwing or landing pretty much anything on the body.
martínez 10-9
Round 5
Kelly finally starts to close the gap in the ring. He lands a couple of good shots and is effectiveluy pushing Martínez to the ropes. I still think Martínez wins the round, but the momentum is on Kelly's side.
Martínez 10-9
Round 6
Kelly establishes his jab. He starts jabbing on top of Martinez's jab and starts blocking the Argentinian's punches. Kelly inspires memories of his fight against Jermain Taylor. Resurging to clearly win the sixth round through solid boxing, effective defense and crisp counter punching.
Pavlik 10-9
Round 7
Pavlik really starts letting his hands go and you see the immediate effect. He continues to block shots and starts tagging Martínez with lefts and rights. Midway through the round, he cuffs Martínez behind the back of the head, and tags him with a solid right that sends him to the floor. Say what you will, it's still a knockdown and the momentum is all Pavlik.
Pavlik 10-8
Round 8
Pavlik continues to pick off shots and Martínez starts to look weary and tired. Kelly pushes forth and continues to catch his opponents punches and offer out answers.
Pavlik 10-9
Round 9
Martínez lands a left hand on the right eye of Pavlik and opens up a gash. The sequence of punches and the sheer dominance of the Argentinian offers up a display that could eventually put the guy in the pound for pound rankings. All of the momentum Pavlik had was sapped away and it's all Martínez.
Martínez 10-9
Round 10
Martínez continues to throw punches with both hands and connect with both hands. It wasn't the washout that was the 9th round, but it was close. Kelly can't see the punches and he doesn't have anything to answer the Argentinian. To boot,Kelly's corner has no chance of closing the cuts on both of Kelly's eyes.
Martínez 10-9
Round 11
Kelly simply can't see the punches coming and Martínez obliges his blind spots by continuing to pepper both eyes with straight lefts, left hooks, jabs, and counter right hooks.
Martínez 10-9
Round 12
Martínez lowers his output slightly but Kelly is gassed and barring a knockout has no chance of winning. Except he's not in the ring fighting as if he needs a knockout. Martínez controls the action and dominates exchanges until the end of the fight.
Sergio Martínez Wins the Middleweight Bout
Recap
Sergio Martínez was the worst opponent for Kelly Pavlik for all the right reasons. He's a south paw, he's got speed and he's got stamina. Add to that natural gifts that show flashes of true pound for pound brilliance and you've got a world class fighter that can fight twenty rounds. Kelly actually did magnificent when he changed tactics and adjusted to the Argentinian's speed and style. He was countering everything and things were looking bright for him until he got cut in a bad spot. Then it was all downhill. Martínez connected at will and showed true grit to win a very appropriate unanimous decision to take the title away from Pavlik. That said, this is probably one of the last two or three fights for Kelly at middleweight. He came into the ring basically twenty pounds heavier than at the weigh-in and I'm sure that had something to do with his performance. Sergio Martínez though, showed why he's a fighter to watch out for. He's slick, fast, has pretty good boxing skills and a ton of heart and resolve. He won the title fair and square after some very questionable results. Next for him is probably a rematch with either Pavlik or Williams. The fight we want to see is with Williams, but Kelly definitely deserves the rematch because if he hadn't gotten caught, I'm sure the result would have been very different. What can't be denied though is the true sportsmanship from both Martínez and Pavlik. A lot of respect in both camps, no trash talking, and just a solid fight. (Three things a certain self proclaimed best boxer ever should consider learning)
Regardless though, a good if not great night for boxing. The bouts were entertaining, and we saw Lucian bute put himself in a position to rain on the parade of any of the super six super middleweights. Miranda would have fared better if he hadn't clowned around and I truly hope his next fight is a victory for him. Pavlik suffers yet another detour in his career and Sergio Martínez commands the audience.
So to the boxers that put on good fights, the promoters that negotiate good bouts and fight nights without the BS, sans the reality tv antics, and with just good boxin, I salute you.
Cheers
Apr 17, 2010
The Most Awesome Video you'll see in a while. 2.5 year old meets the iPad.
My pal Albert shared this with us at his Facebook account and I just had to show it to you guys. Thanks dude, you made my day with it. :-)
Apr 15, 2010
Ad Obituaries: The Executive
Brent “The Shit” Gibbons
1970-2010
Self proclaiming one’s sense of grandiosity in terms of fecal matter should be reason enough to know that you won’t be liked by your peers, but no one had to tell that to Brent. This is because he knew that even people who told him to his face that he was an asshole secretly admired him. “After all, look at me” he would often start; “I’m charming, good looking, smart, quick thinking, humble and of course, I smell good.”
Described as a megalomaniac that smelled like what a bottle of Old Spice would piss if it were a person, Brent was an avid multitasker often doing three or four things simultaneously, not even when he had to, but because he insisted that was how he worked well. After all, what was the sense of doing one thing at a time, if doing four things at a time would offer a product comparable to one he did with all of his capabilities, with time and no distractions?
Sandy Richards, a fellow ad executive at NSNTAC Advertising had these warm words to say: “He was a sad, sad, little man and I shall always be ashamed I let him eat me out. But hey, at least I didn’t fuck him. Besides, he was texting while he was licking so it’s not like he deserved to dip his cock in me just for the sake of completing another item on his to do list.”
Last Saturday afternoon, Brent met a tragic end as he was run over by a runway steamroller that could only go at 5 miles an hour. He had fallen into a vat of wet cement while texting, listening to Stryper’s greatest hits, while sipping a Tall late chocaccino with extra bonito flakes and a double shot of coca ginseng, opening a PDF file and updating his facebook profile. Fortunately, he was able to send the email to his client with a follow-up, finish his “words for friends” turn and put up on his Facebook status that he was being run over by a steamroller. Unfortunately, yelling for help was found to be fourth on his list of current to do lists.
“That sounds about as stupid a death as the life he lived, so I think it’s appropriate.” Said the Creative Director from Never Say No To a Client Advertising. “I’m pretty sure, no one is going to miss him.”
Memorial services were held yesterday, but in his honor, this announcement had twenty seven revisions and was sent a little late and a little over budget, but just how he would have wanted.
1970-2010
Self proclaiming one’s sense of grandiosity in terms of fecal matter should be reason enough to know that you won’t be liked by your peers, but no one had to tell that to Brent. This is because he knew that even people who told him to his face that he was an asshole secretly admired him. “After all, look at me” he would often start; “I’m charming, good looking, smart, quick thinking, humble and of course, I smell good.”
Described as a megalomaniac that smelled like what a bottle of Old Spice would piss if it were a person, Brent was an avid multitasker often doing three or four things simultaneously, not even when he had to, but because he insisted that was how he worked well. After all, what was the sense of doing one thing at a time, if doing four things at a time would offer a product comparable to one he did with all of his capabilities, with time and no distractions?
Sandy Richards, a fellow ad executive at NSNTAC Advertising had these warm words to say: “He was a sad, sad, little man and I shall always be ashamed I let him eat me out. But hey, at least I didn’t fuck him. Besides, he was texting while he was licking so it’s not like he deserved to dip his cock in me just for the sake of completing another item on his to do list.”
Last Saturday afternoon, Brent met a tragic end as he was run over by a runway steamroller that could only go at 5 miles an hour. He had fallen into a vat of wet cement while texting, listening to Stryper’s greatest hits, while sipping a Tall late chocaccino with extra bonito flakes and a double shot of coca ginseng, opening a PDF file and updating his facebook profile. Fortunately, he was able to send the email to his client with a follow-up, finish his “words for friends” turn and put up on his Facebook status that he was being run over by a steamroller. Unfortunately, yelling for help was found to be fourth on his list of current to do lists.
“That sounds about as stupid a death as the life he lived, so I think it’s appropriate.” Said the Creative Director from Never Say No To a Client Advertising. “I’m pretty sure, no one is going to miss him.”
Memorial services were held yesterday, but in his honor, this announcement had twenty seven revisions and was sent a little late and a little over budget, but just how he would have wanted.
You Dirty Rat
Some people are completely genuine and don't change with the passing of time. They hold their values up like a badge and are confident in their brain enough to not flip flop through life.
Then there's those other fuck faces.
If you've worked in advertising for more than a few months, even if you're an intern, you have probably met at least one rat person that you just don't understand why they are even kept around. Some are talented, others aren't, and some are just a complete nuisance.
From having vengeful tendencies to doing all in their power to sabotaging former agencies, this species of ninja asshole is especially deadly. The ninja comes from the fact that you don't hear them coming and they often attack using trickery and slash you in the back, quite un samurai like.
They're the first to demand, bitch and whine, and the last to deliver and arrive in the office. But much like most ecosystems, rats are part of the office environment and someone sees the fucking neeed to keep them around. They thrive in places where normal and probably superior species find untimely demises and their mission in life is to survive and to poison.
You see, the more people they cause to get fired and the more damage they do, the better they feel, the more they grow and the more special they are in their minds.
So to these fuckheads that insist on existing, might I offer a suggestion or a few:
Why don't you walk blindfolded on train tracks?
Why don't you prove to me that if you eat fifty thousand mentos and down a liter of diet coke, nothing happens?
Why don't you crawl on a floor covered in rusty thumbtacks?
Why don't you ask a bum to jog a mile and then pout your lips with their taint?
How about playing music in the garage while the car is still on?
How about proving to me that asphalt is not the best surface to put a slip and slide on?
Why don't you go to a Twilight convention and scream Edward sucks?
Why don't you eat Cheez Whiz off a Lebanese hooker's cooch?
Why don't you put female donkey pheronomes on your clothes when you visit the petting zoo?
or quite simply
Why don't you just fucking leave?
Cheers
Labels:
advertising,
advertising truths,
assholes,
Rats
Apr 14, 2010
Apr 12, 2010
All hope for mankind is lost: The KFC Double Down Chicken.
Would you pay five bucks for someone to put a bullet in your brain? How about slashing your throat? Punching you in the face until you kick the bucket? Right, you wouldn't. So... Why the fuck are people paying to eat the Double Down Chicken from KFC?
First of all, for lawyers sake, I'm not saying that by eating this piece of abomination you will die. Nah. You will live and go on with your life. But you gotta give it to me, this is NOT the healthiest choice for fast food. Ever. In the history of crap food that we have to buy sometimes because we're out of time, this might be the biggest mistake ever.
Let me give you the Nutritional Facts of the Original Recipe, according to KFC's website. Calories, a very convenient 540. Fat Grams? A whopping 32. Are you ready for sodium? 1380. Yeah. 1380! But... seems that some information is kind of not important... Where are the TransFats? The Cholesterol grams? See, while BK's Whopper is aproximately 100 calories heavier, they DO have all the information, very easy to read at their website. So maybe we have some info about this creature from hell's kitchen that we need to know about, but the nice fried people of Kentucky are still not telling us.
The thing that angers me is this: people whine about getting fat, obesity numbers being out of this world and some idiot at new product development decide that THIS is the way to go. I wonder how the brainstorm about this was...
"We need to develop a new product... Any ideas?"
"Does it have to be healthy?"
"Fuck no. In fact, let's go completely the other way. What can we possibly come up with that can be so unhealthy, it might kill you from high cholesterol and a heart attack?"
"Um. We could sell oil shots. You know, just bottle up some frying oil after we've fried all the chickens and sell those for a buck. Chicken shots!"
"Nah, that would be just too obvious. Is there any other way to elevate your sugar and fat content until you weigh so much you need a truck to tow you from your house?"
"Well... I had a nightmare the other day".
"Go on."
"About two siamese chickens who cried cheddar cheese. It was so disgusting, I had to write it down."
"I see where you are going... AND I LIKE IT! TWO CHICKEN PIECES WITH CHEESE! Brilliant!"
"But that's not all. Let's take it up a notch. Add Bacon!"
"Lord, I'm giving you a raise!"
"The kicker is, since it has no bread, people will actually think that it's kind of healthy, you know, people just fear carbs..."
"Fucking ignorant losers. Call up the HMO's, people. We got new business for them!"
End scene.
Look. I'm certainly not the poster child for healthy living. Fuck, I don't even have my gallbladder because I ate at one time at Burger King, McDonalds, Chinese Fast Food restaurants... anything junk. But the thing is, I learned my lesson. Losing a part of my body because the way I ate made me totally rethink my eating habits. In a year, I had managed to eat my way to a whopping (no pun intended) 175 pounds, for a little woman of just 5 feet. You can imagine that shit. I was huge. And it was all just a McAttack, basically.
It took me two years to lose it all. It took a very, very VERY long time and much dedication. The thing about trying to be healthy is the choices you make daily and the true commitment you have with yourself to actually make it happen. Some people have it for a couple of weeks and forget about it. For me, it was a struggle but little by little I promised myself that I would never, ever be inside that body again. 10 years later I'm glad to report that I seldom eat at a fast food joint and that I have kept my weight.
So it angers me to the point of wanting to hit someone when I see this crap being developed. Instead of trying to make healthier choices so people can eat at their joints but not get sick, they make this crap. By making this product available and cheap, you're making people get sick, get high cholesterol, have high blood pressure and ultimately gain weight. Let's make a no calorie bun! Let's offer our burgers with low fat cheese! Oh no. That doesn't sell. Let's give them sugar, because everybody knows that high doses of it gives them a rush that they associate with us being actually flavorful food!
Kids out there, learn the lesson. Avoid this. Hungry and still have to go to Burger King? Try the Cheeseburger and divide the small fries in two, eat one part, throw out the other. McDonalds? Switch the burger for the 6 Nuggets. Just avoid the master products at all costs (Whopper, Big Mac and the latest piece of shit Double Down). There ARE many other alternatives.
Do it for you and do it for your kids. They may actually want to see and hang out with you when they are adults...
I want to Waltz Vit Christoph
Background meme... below.
Pure golden genius.... below
Big smiley face
here ----> : D
Danke to zee funny Slim Jimmy
Pure golden genius.... below
Big smiley face
here ----> : D
Danke to zee funny Slim Jimmy
Labels:
Basterd,
Christoph Waltz,
Funny Basterd,
What a Basterd
Apr 11, 2010
What the Futterwacken was That
If you're short on time and you need a quick review, read the line below:
Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland sucks Jabbercock.
If you have more time, read below for a little more in depth analysis of this steaming pile of cinema.
Ok so from the get go I knew this movie was going to have a problem or twenty. Tim Burton has done great movies, but he also has a few stinkers in the lot and a couple of movies that just didn't do it for me. Case in point, Corpse Bride was ok, Willy Wonka failed to surpass the original only in weirdness and crappy songs, Planet of the Apes was a joke and let's not even talk about Mars Attacks please.
What I'm trying to pass over with that disclaimer is that though I like Tim Burton's work, I also recognize he's far from infallible and Alice in Wonderland was just a clunky ass movie that failed to meet even the kindest expectations. Visual effects were at time truly beautiful and other times were downright I Am Legend quality and if you think you've seen movies that obviously look like they're shot on a green screen, then get ready. The story was odd, and disjointed and just in case, I'm not going to bash the Alice character because reading the book, I wanted to rip that blonde girl's hair from the roots.
Truth be told the movie is like one big drop. It starts slow and stupid, like most any rollercoaster, things start getting a bit loopy and there are actually quite a few parts that weren't half bad. They weren't epic or Alicious enough, but they worked. For me, it is always a pleasure to see the Cheshire Cat in action and in this movie, he was the only consistent high point because such a great character just seems to be impervious to shitty scripts and stupid plots. Everyone else though was a bit on the iffy side. The White Queen looked like an aristocrat who'd just taken a combination acid drink and ecstasy.... a LOT of Ecstasy actually. She wanted to be all floaty and she just looked like some super bleached dumbass.
The Red Queen was supposed to be wicked and funny or wicked funny or something like that and well.... Helena Bonham Carter did as much as the script and her viced husband would allow.
Then there's Johnny Depp. Ok, in case you're wondering, I'm actually a huge Johnny Depp fan and have been since Benny and Joon but in this movie, well he looked like he was at times possessed by Hugh Grant, other times by Captain Quinn from JAWS and I don't know what else. He was all over the place and though sometimes it was cool, sometimes it was weird and sometimes it was Disney stupid which is a whole other level of stupid. I'm obviously referring to live movies and not animated, where Disney rarely if ever screws up.
And then... there's a battle..... WTF. Since when does Alice fight in battles? I don't know, but someone did... and they let us have it, including cheesy lines and lame special effects for our nauseous enjoyment. Not because the effects were disorienting, but because they were that suckass. The Jabberwocky was almost completely crap though I have to admit that the dragon walking with its wings was interesting, but other than that I would have preferred if the fight had been with the dance troupe instead of some crappy half dragon that spat electricity instead of fire. But no worries, to make matters worse, The Mad Hatter does a stupid dance that was probably imposed by some brilliant movie exec that doesn't know a good idea from a dirty asshole. And then Alice goes back to the real world, has a lame ass monologue and the movie ties everything up with a nice ridiculous bullshit bow. Oh and if you hadn't gotten off the seat, you're then treated to the wonderful Avril Lavigne singing the American Idol scripted "Alice".
So if you like the Alice in Wonderland story, if you like Johnny Depp and if you like Tim Burton, by all means, read the book watch the original Disney cartoon, rent Benny and Joon and the first Pirates of the Caribbean and buy Big Fish, because this movie will do nothing to love any of those things any more.
Cheers
Labels:
Alice in Wonderland,
fail,
Johnny Depp,
Lame lives,
sucky movies,
Tim Burton
Shane Mosley VS Floyd Mayweather
It is no secret that I'm not a Floyd Mayweather fan. He claims he's the face of boxing and to me he showcases the worst trends seen in boxers. He runs his mouth, he doesn't get in the ring with the best, he does more talking than fighting and he refuses to go supernova when the ability is clearly there. If you want to see his fight record, here's the link .
If you take a look at the list, you'll notice that there's a tendency to pick bouts that are low risk and that some of his victories have been much less than stellar. He barely edged out Oscar de la Hoya, he was almost beaten by Jose Luis Castillo and he won a close decision against Zab Judah. Apart from that he's faced smaller men in Ricky Hatton and Juan Manuel Marquez but he's never really put himself in a position where he has to dig deep. If you disagree, that just means that you're a Floyd lover while I'm the antithesis to that.
I've always had a problem with Floyd because he wants to put his name in limelight as the best fighter of all time, but he never gives himself the chance to truly be great. Sugar Ray Leonard, Marvin Haggler, Alexis Argüello, Roberto Durán, Hank Armstrong, Sugar Ray Robinson, Joe Louis, Jack Dempsey, Rocky Marciano, Thomas Hearns, Joe Frazier, Muhammed Ali and beyond. These are the true gods of this sport because they weren't only the best, but they stepped into the ring with the best. That is why I have such respect for Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquéz and so much disdain for Floyd. It's because his former nickname suited him endlessly better because he's more a pretty boy than anything.
So now he finally gives himself the chance to face someone who is truly great in Shane Mosley. A bigger guy who hits harder and who last year dismantled Antonio Margarito.
Shane Mosley has been in there with some of the best when they have been near the best shape of their lives. Shane was the pound for pound #1 fighter and guess what, he was never the number one guy to run his mouth like a jackass. He went in the ring and put on boxing clinics, fighting the best and never being content with just taking on easy paydays. That's because even though he's a prize fighter... it's not just about the money for Shane whereas "Money" 'has a Scrooge McDuck complex.
So am I saying Floyd is not a good fighter? For the I don't know how manyeth time. No. He's a supremely good fighter. His reflexes and hand speed are epic, his condition is unquestionable, his ring smarts are evident and his versatility is elite. What hasn't been there is the competition. You can say whatever you want but it's going to take a lot to convince me his matchups haven't been cherry picked.
Now am I saying Shane can beat Floyd? Well he's certainly the best candidate for the job along with Manny Pacquiao. He's got speed, hits hard, can adapt, punches with both hands, can command the ring and has the physical and athletic attributes to take Floyd out of his comfort zone, which means potshotting and employing some of the best defensive skills ever seen in a ring. But Shane can move, he can punch and he can box. He can also take ANY shot Floyd has got and if Floyd scores a knockdown I will officially support Floyd without ever questioning him ever again.
The thing is that Floyd says he's the biggest draw in boxing and to a certain degree he's right... because so many people want to see him not only get beat, not only get knocked out, but get embarassed. Naseem Hamed was one of the most hated guys but he was a big draw because he was such a prick. He just happened to find himself in a ring with Marco Antonio Barrera and he got embarassed to the point of Barrera tossing a way a point by dragging Hamed to a corning and giving him a head butt coazing the referee to take a point a way because it didn't make a difference. THAT'S what someone like me wishes on Floyd because of all he's blabbed on about.
It's a shame really because he is supremely talented but someone with that much ego needs a spanking to get some humility and here's me wishing for that and possibly jynxing Shane in the process. The thing is that I can't remember the last fight from Floyd I enjoyed because there has never been one that has been remotely epic. Sure he's won, but trust me, I haven't cared and I was actually thrilled when he "retired" because I didn't have to sit through another boring ass missmatch.
Now though, we have a fight people. And we also have 24/7 just to help you hate Floyd a little more. So sit down, strap in and let's hope for a finally entertaining Mayweather fight.
Cheers
If you take a look at the list, you'll notice that there's a tendency to pick bouts that are low risk and that some of his victories have been much less than stellar. He barely edged out Oscar de la Hoya, he was almost beaten by Jose Luis Castillo and he won a close decision against Zab Judah. Apart from that he's faced smaller men in Ricky Hatton and Juan Manuel Marquez but he's never really put himself in a position where he has to dig deep. If you disagree, that just means that you're a Floyd lover while I'm the antithesis to that.
I've always had a problem with Floyd because he wants to put his name in limelight as the best fighter of all time, but he never gives himself the chance to truly be great. Sugar Ray Leonard, Marvin Haggler, Alexis Argüello, Roberto Durán, Hank Armstrong, Sugar Ray Robinson, Joe Louis, Jack Dempsey, Rocky Marciano, Thomas Hearns, Joe Frazier, Muhammed Ali and beyond. These are the true gods of this sport because they weren't only the best, but they stepped into the ring with the best. That is why I have such respect for Manny Pacquiao and Juan Manuel Marquéz and so much disdain for Floyd. It's because his former nickname suited him endlessly better because he's more a pretty boy than anything.
So now he finally gives himself the chance to face someone who is truly great in Shane Mosley. A bigger guy who hits harder and who last year dismantled Antonio Margarito.
Shane Mosley has been in there with some of the best when they have been near the best shape of their lives. Shane was the pound for pound #1 fighter and guess what, he was never the number one guy to run his mouth like a jackass. He went in the ring and put on boxing clinics, fighting the best and never being content with just taking on easy paydays. That's because even though he's a prize fighter... it's not just about the money for Shane whereas "Money" 'has a Scrooge McDuck complex.
So am I saying Floyd is not a good fighter? For the I don't know how manyeth time. No. He's a supremely good fighter. His reflexes and hand speed are epic, his condition is unquestionable, his ring smarts are evident and his versatility is elite. What hasn't been there is the competition. You can say whatever you want but it's going to take a lot to convince me his matchups haven't been cherry picked.
Now am I saying Shane can beat Floyd? Well he's certainly the best candidate for the job along with Manny Pacquiao. He's got speed, hits hard, can adapt, punches with both hands, can command the ring and has the physical and athletic attributes to take Floyd out of his comfort zone, which means potshotting and employing some of the best defensive skills ever seen in a ring. But Shane can move, he can punch and he can box. He can also take ANY shot Floyd has got and if Floyd scores a knockdown I will officially support Floyd without ever questioning him ever again.
The thing is that Floyd says he's the biggest draw in boxing and to a certain degree he's right... because so many people want to see him not only get beat, not only get knocked out, but get embarassed. Naseem Hamed was one of the most hated guys but he was a big draw because he was such a prick. He just happened to find himself in a ring with Marco Antonio Barrera and he got embarassed to the point of Barrera tossing a way a point by dragging Hamed to a corning and giving him a head butt coazing the referee to take a point a way because it didn't make a difference. THAT'S what someone like me wishes on Floyd because of all he's blabbed on about.
It's a shame really because he is supremely talented but someone with that much ego needs a spanking to get some humility and here's me wishing for that and possibly jynxing Shane in the process. The thing is that I can't remember the last fight from Floyd I enjoyed because there has never been one that has been remotely epic. Sure he's won, but trust me, I haven't cared and I was actually thrilled when he "retired" because I didn't have to sit through another boring ass missmatch.
Now though, we have a fight people. And we also have 24/7 just to help you hate Floyd a little more. So sit down, strap in and let's hope for a finally entertaining Mayweather fight.
Cheers
Labels:
boxers,
Boxing,
Floyd Mayweather Jr.,
mega fight,
Shane Mosley
Upcoming Fights to NOT miss
If you're wondering what fights you shouldn't miss because they have the chance to really entertain you, here are four fights that look good on paper and don't require an additional PPV fee though you do require subscriptions to HBO and Showtime.
Edison Miranda VS Lucian Bute - April 17 on HBO
This night has a double header and to start things off, Canada's undefeated adopted son faces off Edison La Pantera Miranda. Miranda doesn't seem to know how to win or lose without it being a KO and though rough and occassionally dirty, he's an entertaining fighter that often times brings out the best in other fighters. Bute is solid, slick and hard punching. This is a fight made for fans who like rough fights and it can end in any round. I recommend not blinking.
Kelly Pavlik VS Sergio Martinez - April 17 on HBO
To dispell rumors that he was afraid to face off against Paul Williams, Pavlik is facing Sergio Martinez, one of the best fighters I've seen in a long time. Last December Martinez and Williams had one of the fights of the year and Kelly needs a fight that will put him back on the map since his loss to Hopkins temporarily derailed his career after two incredible victories against Jermain Taylor. The great thing is that this is another fight for the fans since neither is too defensive minded. Watch or record, just don't miss out on this fight. Trust me.
Carl Froch VS Mikkel Kessler - April 24 on Showtime
The Super Six Tournament is a great idea in theory but in practice it just hasn't been as exhilirating as I thought it was going to be. Don't get me wrong, the fights have been solid for the most part, but no fight has been transcendent... or maybe it's just that the guys I root for keep losing Lol. Regardless, my original pick to win the tournament is coming back to action. Mikkel Kessler and Carl Froch face off on April 24 and in theory, it's a great fight. I'm not a big fan of Froch and I think he's more talk than anything else, but he's got a win in the tournament so props to him... I guess. Kessler though went from being the absolute favorite to becoming a victim to Andre Wards talent.... and more than a few headbutts and low blows, but that's another story. What I like about this matchup is that Kessler is literally against the ropes against a guy that in theory he can take out. Will he rise to the occassion or will he take another career crushing loss? Only one way to find out.
Israel Vazquez VS Rafael Marquez IV - May 22 on Showtime
Boxing trilogies rarely disappoint. If two guys face off more than once normally it's because there's something special there. Think Gatti vs Ward, think Barrera VS Morales, think Frazier VS Ali and right along those epics and possibly over them, there's Marquez VS Vazquez... the first three fights were quite simply BRUTAL. But it showed you why these guys are the supreme elite. Two boxers made for each other and who will probably have to retire a couple of years earlier than planned because of the brutal nature of these fights. Simply put, if you want to see greatness, see the first three fights and feel free to ask yourself how these guys would even consider going in to do it a fourth time. I'm already thinking this could be fight of the year, so don't miss it.
Edison Miranda VS Lucian Bute - April 17 on HBO
This night has a double header and to start things off, Canada's undefeated adopted son faces off Edison La Pantera Miranda. Miranda doesn't seem to know how to win or lose without it being a KO and though rough and occassionally dirty, he's an entertaining fighter that often times brings out the best in other fighters. Bute is solid, slick and hard punching. This is a fight made for fans who like rough fights and it can end in any round. I recommend not blinking.
Kelly Pavlik VS Sergio Martinez - April 17 on HBO
To dispell rumors that he was afraid to face off against Paul Williams, Pavlik is facing Sergio Martinez, one of the best fighters I've seen in a long time. Last December Martinez and Williams had one of the fights of the year and Kelly needs a fight that will put him back on the map since his loss to Hopkins temporarily derailed his career after two incredible victories against Jermain Taylor. The great thing is that this is another fight for the fans since neither is too defensive minded. Watch or record, just don't miss out on this fight. Trust me.
Carl Froch VS Mikkel Kessler - April 24 on Showtime
The Super Six Tournament is a great idea in theory but in practice it just hasn't been as exhilirating as I thought it was going to be. Don't get me wrong, the fights have been solid for the most part, but no fight has been transcendent... or maybe it's just that the guys I root for keep losing Lol. Regardless, my original pick to win the tournament is coming back to action. Mikkel Kessler and Carl Froch face off on April 24 and in theory, it's a great fight. I'm not a big fan of Froch and I think he's more talk than anything else, but he's got a win in the tournament so props to him... I guess. Kessler though went from being the absolute favorite to becoming a victim to Andre Wards talent.... and more than a few headbutts and low blows, but that's another story. What I like about this matchup is that Kessler is literally against the ropes against a guy that in theory he can take out. Will he rise to the occassion or will he take another career crushing loss? Only one way to find out.
Israel Vazquez VS Rafael Marquez IV - May 22 on Showtime
Boxing trilogies rarely disappoint. If two guys face off more than once normally it's because there's something special there. Think Gatti vs Ward, think Barrera VS Morales, think Frazier VS Ali and right along those epics and possibly over them, there's Marquez VS Vazquez... the first three fights were quite simply BRUTAL. But it showed you why these guys are the supreme elite. Two boxers made for each other and who will probably have to retire a couple of years earlier than planned because of the brutal nature of these fights. Simply put, if you want to see greatness, see the first three fights and feel free to ask yourself how these guys would even consider going in to do it a fourth time. I'm already thinking this could be fight of the year, so don't miss it.
Labels:
Boxing,
upcoming fights
Weekend fights
Celestino Caballero VS Duad Yordan
I could write a whole post about this but let me sum it up quite simply.
Celestino Caballero threw the 3rd most punches by a featherweight in a Compubox recorded fight, he had a knockdown in round 2 and by the eighth round, every commentator was wondering why they wouldn’t stop the fight and whether Duad Yordan had just had his career shortened significantly. If you've seen the Ring's pound for pound list recently and were wondering who the hell is Celestino Caballero at #10, watch the recap of this fight so you see what anyone at lightweight is not looking forward to getting into the ring with.
Carlos Quintana VS Andre Berto
First off, Carlos Quintana scored a knock down in the first round. It was ruled a slip but the replay clearly shows it was a clean hit and Berto went down. That’s irrelevant in retrospect but I just wanted to make that clear because even though Quintana has no star power at all, I like the kid’s grit and though he lost another fight, I consider Carlos a good solid fighter that can expose people, case in point his fight against Paul Williams. Here’s a quick round per round recap.
Round 1 – Sloppy fighting, rough tactics Quintana gets a knockdown but the referee sees it differently, Quintana gets warned for hitting behind the head. Quintana should have won the round but because of the call on the knockdown, Berto gets the round.
Round 2 – Carlos Quintana looks like a Hispanic Bernard Hopkins or Ric Flair if you’re a wrestling fan. He’s holding the arm and hitting, rough boxing and pretty much getting Berto out of his element. At the end of the round though, Berto seems to finally be hitting his stride.
Round 3 – As predicted, Berto has hit his stride and starts connecting more often. Quintana loses a point for hitting behind the head… this time a flagrant hit and a move he did twice more during the fight. Berto connect body punches, left hooks and solid right hand shots.
Round 4 - More rough house tactics from Quintana but Berto is able to push him to the ropes and capitalize. On a couple of occasions it seems as if Berto stings Quintana especially with right hands.
Round 5 – Another round for Berto though hardly a blow out. Not the prettiest fight this side of the TV screen but it’s competitive.
Round 6 – In between rounds Berto looks like he’s got an injured arm. A guy in the corner is rubbing down the bicep and from what I’ve read in boxing, that’s one of the worst things you can do to a fighter before a fight, much less during a contest. The reason given is that a massage releases lactic acid and actually induces fatigue on the muscle because even if it relieves tension, it moves and stimulates muscles. I actually see Quintana edging out a close round by out hustling Berto but when they go to the corner, Quintana looks gassed and Berto looks in pain from the bicep but otherwise ready to keep going. Berto had moments but Quintana had the better of the round.
Round 7 - The round can be summed up with Berto landing a solid right that rocked Quintana and it was the beginning of the end.
Round 8 – Some exchanges occur but then Berto connects to Quintana who seems buzzed. Andre doesn’t let off and lands a vicious exchange that could have led to a stoppage. The ref lets the fight go on which reaches the other side of the ring. There Berto lands more heavy shots and Quintana looks like he’s about to go down but the fight continues. He’s getting backed across the ring again into the ropes and after a crushing right, the ref finally steps in and stops the fight.
RECAP:
Quintana still has something to offer boxers and a style to frustrate lesser opponents but he’s 33, isn’t beloved in Puerto Rico even if he did win a championship belt. He’s cagy but if he gets caught, he has one or two opportunities to get back into the game and anyone who capitalizes can get a stoppage. Berto looked a bit sloppy but powerful. It’s a shame he and Shane didn’t face off because I think that’s a hell of a fight though I’m glad Shane is getting a shot with Floyd. Berto though looks prime to sit atop the welterweight division in 1 or 2 year’s time.
Evander Holyfield VS Frans Botha
I didn’t see the fight but Holyfield at 47 scored a Knockout over Botha who is 41. The title is a joke but the win isn’t because it actually puts Holyfield in the heavyweight mix to face people that can do him quite a lot of harm. Was it good to see the great warrior score a KO? Of course it is, I just don’t want to see the guy getting hurt and it seems as if he’s sizing himself up for just that.
I could write a whole post about this but let me sum it up quite simply.
Celestino Caballero threw the 3rd most punches by a featherweight in a Compubox recorded fight, he had a knockdown in round 2 and by the eighth round, every commentator was wondering why they wouldn’t stop the fight and whether Duad Yordan had just had his career shortened significantly. If you've seen the Ring's pound for pound list recently and were wondering who the hell is Celestino Caballero at #10, watch the recap of this fight so you see what anyone at lightweight is not looking forward to getting into the ring with.
Carlos Quintana VS Andre Berto
First off, Carlos Quintana scored a knock down in the first round. It was ruled a slip but the replay clearly shows it was a clean hit and Berto went down. That’s irrelevant in retrospect but I just wanted to make that clear because even though Quintana has no star power at all, I like the kid’s grit and though he lost another fight, I consider Carlos a good solid fighter that can expose people, case in point his fight against Paul Williams. Here’s a quick round per round recap.
Round 1 – Sloppy fighting, rough tactics Quintana gets a knockdown but the referee sees it differently, Quintana gets warned for hitting behind the head. Quintana should have won the round but because of the call on the knockdown, Berto gets the round.
Round 2 – Carlos Quintana looks like a Hispanic Bernard Hopkins or Ric Flair if you’re a wrestling fan. He’s holding the arm and hitting, rough boxing and pretty much getting Berto out of his element. At the end of the round though, Berto seems to finally be hitting his stride.
Round 3 – As predicted, Berto has hit his stride and starts connecting more often. Quintana loses a point for hitting behind the head… this time a flagrant hit and a move he did twice more during the fight. Berto connect body punches, left hooks and solid right hand shots.
Round 4 - More rough house tactics from Quintana but Berto is able to push him to the ropes and capitalize. On a couple of occasions it seems as if Berto stings Quintana especially with right hands.
Round 5 – Another round for Berto though hardly a blow out. Not the prettiest fight this side of the TV screen but it’s competitive.
Round 6 – In between rounds Berto looks like he’s got an injured arm. A guy in the corner is rubbing down the bicep and from what I’ve read in boxing, that’s one of the worst things you can do to a fighter before a fight, much less during a contest. The reason given is that a massage releases lactic acid and actually induces fatigue on the muscle because even if it relieves tension, it moves and stimulates muscles. I actually see Quintana edging out a close round by out hustling Berto but when they go to the corner, Quintana looks gassed and Berto looks in pain from the bicep but otherwise ready to keep going. Berto had moments but Quintana had the better of the round.
Round 7 - The round can be summed up with Berto landing a solid right that rocked Quintana and it was the beginning of the end.
Round 8 – Some exchanges occur but then Berto connects to Quintana who seems buzzed. Andre doesn’t let off and lands a vicious exchange that could have led to a stoppage. The ref lets the fight go on which reaches the other side of the ring. There Berto lands more heavy shots and Quintana looks like he’s about to go down but the fight continues. He’s getting backed across the ring again into the ropes and after a crushing right, the ref finally steps in and stops the fight.
RECAP:
Quintana still has something to offer boxers and a style to frustrate lesser opponents but he’s 33, isn’t beloved in Puerto Rico even if he did win a championship belt. He’s cagy but if he gets caught, he has one or two opportunities to get back into the game and anyone who capitalizes can get a stoppage. Berto looked a bit sloppy but powerful. It’s a shame he and Shane didn’t face off because I think that’s a hell of a fight though I’m glad Shane is getting a shot with Floyd. Berto though looks prime to sit atop the welterweight division in 1 or 2 year’s time.
Evander Holyfield VS Frans Botha
I didn’t see the fight but Holyfield at 47 scored a Knockout over Botha who is 41. The title is a joke but the win isn’t because it actually puts Holyfield in the heavyweight mix to face people that can do him quite a lot of harm. Was it good to see the great warrior score a KO? Of course it is, I just don’t want to see the guy getting hurt and it seems as if he’s sizing himself up for just that.
It's been a while: A Couple of Boxing Posts
Few sports command my attention like boxing. Maybe it comes from my grandfather's side, maybe it's genetic, maybe I just saw the right fights at the right time. I truly don't concern myself with the reasons I just concern myself with enjoying each and every fight I watch, lightly analyzing possible outcomes, seeing what each boxer needs to do to win, see who executes their game plan and witness boxers who rise to the occassion.
If you ask me what my favorite punch in boxing is, the answer can vary from day to day and it'll probably depend on which fighter we're talking about, but odds are I'm going to mention a left hook to the body. If you ask me who my favorite boxers are I say Arturo Gatti, Micky Ward, Israel Vazquez, Marvin Hagler, Rafael Marquez, Tommy Hearns, James Toney, Manny Pacquiao and of course Juan Manuel Marquez. If you ask me what is the most important punch in boxing, I'm always going to say a good strong jab. If you ask me who the greatest fighters of all time are, I'm going to say Sugar Ray Robinson, Followed by Hank Armstrong, then Joe Louis and then Muhammed Ali. If you ask me who is the most important boxer of all time, I'll say Ali every single time. If you ask me who are the real rising stars in boxing, I'll say Paul Williams, Andre Berto, Sergio Martínez, Yuriorkis Gamboa, and Juan Manuel López. If you're wondering about the best referees in boxing, you can't find better than Arthur Mercante Sr. who just passed away and Steve Smoger. If you ask me about pretty much anything about boxing, I'll either have an answer or do my best to give an answer. Be warned though, I'll probably go on a long ass rant and if there's beer, well get ready to toss me out of your house eventually.
That's because I love this sport. I love watching it, I love writing about it, and I love talking about it. So just in case you're not a huge boxing fan, feel free to duck my next two or three posts. Oh and if you have anything you'd like to ask about boxing, by all means, email me at jokerwashere@gmail.com.
Cheers
If you ask me what my favorite punch in boxing is, the answer can vary from day to day and it'll probably depend on which fighter we're talking about, but odds are I'm going to mention a left hook to the body. If you ask me who my favorite boxers are I say Arturo Gatti, Micky Ward, Israel Vazquez, Marvin Hagler, Rafael Marquez, Tommy Hearns, James Toney, Manny Pacquiao and of course Juan Manuel Marquez. If you ask me what is the most important punch in boxing, I'm always going to say a good strong jab. If you ask me who the greatest fighters of all time are, I'm going to say Sugar Ray Robinson, Followed by Hank Armstrong, then Joe Louis and then Muhammed Ali. If you ask me who is the most important boxer of all time, I'll say Ali every single time. If you ask me who are the real rising stars in boxing, I'll say Paul Williams, Andre Berto, Sergio Martínez, Yuriorkis Gamboa, and Juan Manuel López. If you're wondering about the best referees in boxing, you can't find better than Arthur Mercante Sr. who just passed away and Steve Smoger. If you ask me about pretty much anything about boxing, I'll either have an answer or do my best to give an answer. Be warned though, I'll probably go on a long ass rant and if there's beer, well get ready to toss me out of your house eventually.
That's because I love this sport. I love watching it, I love writing about it, and I love talking about it. So just in case you're not a huge boxing fan, feel free to duck my next two or three posts. Oh and if you have anything you'd like to ask about boxing, by all means, email me at jokerwashere@gmail.com.
Cheers
Apr 10, 2010
Apr 9, 2010
Apr 7, 2010
Just one great idea can change everything... A very real promise I made to myself.
It's Wednesday. I cannot remember the week starting. In fact, all I remember is chillaxing last Sunday at the beach and then it becomes all a blur. I've had almost no time to do anything. This week has been, in a word, a turd. A huge, smelly turd. A humongous dropping of fecal matter which has left me with absolutely no time and energy to do anything. But I'm smiling.
Yeah. This is going to be one of those "Aha Moments" posts, and I'm not talking about that 80's crap band. Bear with me. I've been drinking.
As much of you know - or at least the ones that have been loyal and have been reading since a long time now - you know that out of the three people that do write here, I am the one with a self owned business. That means that I cannot go on long vacations, I cannot get sick for more than 2 days... because there is no other coworker that can be there when I'm not.
Look out kiddies, if you want to have a business on your own, that's one of the luxuries you might have to say goodbye to. Two weeks vacation? Yeah. Right. Keep on dreaming.
When you have a business of your own, it's sort of a different story. Yes, you give it your all while working under Last Name and Last Name. The difference is, when you lose a big account, some people of your group, including maybe you, will be fired. When a small business losses a client... you might just have to close up shop. That means every cent you poured in there. Every ball point pen you bought. Every tax you paid. Every computer, paper, clips, sticky note. Every bank loan you made. Every credit card purchase you did. All you did, erased. Gone. Done. Fin. The End. Finito. Kaput. Thank you for playing "Who Wants to be an Ad Agency".
Am I losing a client or something? Nope. Will it happen? OF COURSE! Why am I writing? 'Cause I had the shittiest dream the other night. Last Thursday, I dreamt that I had lost it all. My clients had given me their middle finger and all of the sudden, I had lost everything. I had to close up shop. Needless to say, I woke up at 7:00 am, scared shitless. I tossed and turned and finally gave up on those 5 more extra minutes and left for work.
The thing is... I never said a word about my dream. Fast forward to last Saturday, I'm talking to my sweet man and telling him about my dream in a very romantic dinner for two. I had a couple of drinks... um... ok. I had quite a lot to drink. See, my Mom called the restaurant and gave us a bottle of wine as a gift. (First of all, how cool is my mom?) Second... I had that bugging me and I needed to blurt it out. So, I asked him what would happen if we lost it all, if we had to close up shop. What would we do?
Now... this is the moment when it becomes so logical. This is the moment when life tells me: see, this is why you will reproduce with this man. Because he is wise. Wanna know what he told me?
He took a huge sip of his whiskey and then he proceeded to ask me some very simple questions. Had I been poor or lacking some money at one time? Sure. (Am I rich now? No. Just to drive that point across) Did I survive living with little money? Yes. Would I miss not going on vacation from time to time? No way. Most importantly: would it mean that I would have failed at what I do? No.
But the best sentence came in last.
"The moment it happens, pack your bags honey. We're going on a two month backpacking tour".
Holy Jesus H Christ, please come down from heaven or wherever you are hiding and kick me un the butt - what a great idea. While I was focusing on losing it all and the anxiety that comes with thinking about that, he was thinking of enjoying one last big one. One last show. The one thing we haven't done in years. Time for ourselves. Time to enjoy life. To enjoy the world. To enjoy each other, alone in some place where no one can call us. Where no one can find us. Where no one can call us to say that they need to revise a flyer or a press ad (it has happened before, we've traveled with the agency's hard disc) Just a backpack and...walk. Laugh. Drink. Enjoy.
Suddenly, losing everything seems like no such a big deal. Can I work anywhere else? Sure. Would I want to return to a regular Ad Agency? No way. But you know what? It's not a big deal. The idea of going away and disappearing for months... seems more precious than anything else. Fuck what it costs. Fuck what would happen next. Doesn't matter. We'll deal with that later.
Months ago, some "friend" of mine defined success and told me I wasn't doing my job right. Success, according to him, was having more clients and more clients, so I can have more money and more money, so I can work more and more, so someday people will respect me. The thing is... I don't need people to know who I am. I don't need the prizes. I don't need the recognition, nor the big firm. Been there, got a tshirt. While he left to find success, meaning to build an empire of his own - which I totally respect; I left to find quality of life. And...
You know what? I've had the pleasure of traveling the world. I've had countless nights of delicious dinners and wine with the man I love. I've been able to buy myself one or two pairs of shoes without feeling guilty. I've had the ultimate pleasure of inviting my friends which I love dearly for drinks, dinners and even trips. I've been able to help when someone has needed money, be it friend or family. That is success. If tomorrow I have to close up... I had the time of my life.
So... it's just a job. Nothing else. Cheers my friends, to making it. Cheers as well to starting over. I'm ready, life. Bring it on. Love... Me.
Oh! The route? We start in France, move to the UK. Then we turn to Spain. Make a right to Italy. A week or two in Greece. Then off to Japan, China, Russia... You name it, I'll fly it. Life is good. I'll drink to that.
Yeah. This is going to be one of those "Aha Moments" posts, and I'm not talking about that 80's crap band. Bear with me. I've been drinking.
As much of you know - or at least the ones that have been loyal and have been reading since a long time now - you know that out of the three people that do write here, I am the one with a self owned business. That means that I cannot go on long vacations, I cannot get sick for more than 2 days... because there is no other coworker that can be there when I'm not.
Look out kiddies, if you want to have a business on your own, that's one of the luxuries you might have to say goodbye to. Two weeks vacation? Yeah. Right. Keep on dreaming.
When you have a business of your own, it's sort of a different story. Yes, you give it your all while working under Last Name and Last Name. The difference is, when you lose a big account, some people of your group, including maybe you, will be fired. When a small business losses a client... you might just have to close up shop. That means every cent you poured in there. Every ball point pen you bought. Every tax you paid. Every computer, paper, clips, sticky note. Every bank loan you made. Every credit card purchase you did. All you did, erased. Gone. Done. Fin. The End. Finito. Kaput. Thank you for playing "Who Wants to be an Ad Agency".
Am I losing a client or something? Nope. Will it happen? OF COURSE! Why am I writing? 'Cause I had the shittiest dream the other night. Last Thursday, I dreamt that I had lost it all. My clients had given me their middle finger and all of the sudden, I had lost everything. I had to close up shop. Needless to say, I woke up at 7:00 am, scared shitless. I tossed and turned and finally gave up on those 5 more extra minutes and left for work.
The thing is... I never said a word about my dream. Fast forward to last Saturday, I'm talking to my sweet man and telling him about my dream in a very romantic dinner for two. I had a couple of drinks... um... ok. I had quite a lot to drink. See, my Mom called the restaurant and gave us a bottle of wine as a gift. (First of all, how cool is my mom?) Second... I had that bugging me and I needed to blurt it out. So, I asked him what would happen if we lost it all, if we had to close up shop. What would we do?
Now... this is the moment when it becomes so logical. This is the moment when life tells me: see, this is why you will reproduce with this man. Because he is wise. Wanna know what he told me?
He took a huge sip of his whiskey and then he proceeded to ask me some very simple questions. Had I been poor or lacking some money at one time? Sure. (Am I rich now? No. Just to drive that point across) Did I survive living with little money? Yes. Would I miss not going on vacation from time to time? No way. Most importantly: would it mean that I would have failed at what I do? No.But the best sentence came in last.
"The moment it happens, pack your bags honey. We're going on a two month backpacking tour".
Holy Jesus H Christ, please come down from heaven or wherever you are hiding and kick me un the butt - what a great idea. While I was focusing on losing it all and the anxiety that comes with thinking about that, he was thinking of enjoying one last big one. One last show. The one thing we haven't done in years. Time for ourselves. Time to enjoy life. To enjoy the world. To enjoy each other, alone in some place where no one can call us. Where no one can find us. Where no one can call us to say that they need to revise a flyer or a press ad (it has happened before, we've traveled with the agency's hard disc) Just a backpack and...walk. Laugh. Drink. Enjoy.
Suddenly, losing everything seems like no such a big deal. Can I work anywhere else? Sure. Would I want to return to a regular Ad Agency? No way. But you know what? It's not a big deal. The idea of going away and disappearing for months... seems more precious than anything else. Fuck what it costs. Fuck what would happen next. Doesn't matter. We'll deal with that later.
Months ago, some "friend" of mine defined success and told me I wasn't doing my job right. Success, according to him, was having more clients and more clients, so I can have more money and more money, so I can work more and more, so someday people will respect me. The thing is... I don't need people to know who I am. I don't need the prizes. I don't need the recognition, nor the big firm. Been there, got a tshirt. While he left to find success, meaning to build an empire of his own - which I totally respect; I left to find quality of life. And...
You know what? I've had the pleasure of traveling the world. I've had countless nights of delicious dinners and wine with the man I love. I've been able to buy myself one or two pairs of shoes without feeling guilty. I've had the ultimate pleasure of inviting my friends which I love dearly for drinks, dinners and even trips. I've been able to help when someone has needed money, be it friend or family. That is success. If tomorrow I have to close up... I had the time of my life.
So... it's just a job. Nothing else. Cheers my friends, to making it. Cheers as well to starting over. I'm ready, life. Bring it on. Love... Me.
Oh! The route? We start in France, move to the UK. Then we turn to Spain. Make a right to Italy. A week or two in Greece. Then off to Japan, China, Russia... You name it, I'll fly it. Life is good. I'll drink to that.
Lesson Learned
Next time you wanna be a show off, remeber this jackoff.
Labels:
douche,
fail,
humiliation,
idiot,
serves you fucking right
Apr 6, 2010
Apr 5, 2010
Apr 4, 2010
Happy Easter
To celebrate the grandeur or resurrection, Ricky Martin coming out of the closet and the fact I'm not eating chocolate eggs, here's a little 90's tribute to being an eskimo and being gay. What does it have to do with anything.... absolutely nothing... or does it?
Cheers
Cheers
Labels:
corky and the juice pigs,
eskimo,
gay,
smile dammit
Apr 2, 2010
Dark Side of the Moon 8 bit style
This is beyond cool. Enjoy.
Thanks to Slim Jim for the link.
Labels:
Dark Side of the Moon,
Pink Floyd,
video game music
Apr 1, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)