"I want your camera!", said the really big Octopus. Enjoy.

Here's Fucking Looking at you Dennis

Seems this week death has been quite the motif. First Gary Coleman, now Dennis Hopper.
Just in case, if you didn't see Blue Velvet, you won't understand the title of this post.

Regardless, Dennis Hopper shall probably be remembered as the eternal pain in the ass of many Hollywood mogul types... and since I don't work in Hollywood, I could care less. Simply put, writers would love to write up a character like Hopper and put it in their film or novels. He was colorful, psychotic, rambling, and as much a coke addict as he was a workaholic. That he lived to be 74 shouldn't be a shame and we shouldn't mourn. Nay, we should hope he gets cremated and that some lucky teen hooker with a coke habit gets to snort a little of him because damnit, that's what he would have wanted. Yes, he was able to pass away near lvoed ones, but if ever there was a wild one in Hollywood, it was Hopper.

With epic movies such as Blue Velvet, Speed Apocalypose Now and Cool Hand Luke, it's amazing he was able to be in such stinkers as Super Mario Brothers, Waterworld and the campy albeit fascinating My Science Project. And all the while, he was high, drunk, fighting or just pissing people off. So while some might lament his passing, others will give thanks for it. Me? I'm just thankful I have the reference material for when I write him into one of my books.

Cheers Dennis, my regards to the devil and may you keep partying forever on

Imitation Is The Sincerest Form of... plagiarism?

What Makes People Happy? The Joker answer.

Recently CNN asked a very simple question to some so called faith leaders. The title of this post. To see what they answered, just click on the title. Some are faith based, others have humanist expressions, others are simply at a sociological level.

So then I got to thinking... I don't have the constraints these people have and I'm not a faith leader by any means, so maybe they could use this reply as the average Joker version to include with that of the faith leaders.

First comes the definition of happiness and just like success, there is no right definition as long as your happy with whatever you come up with in the end.

If you ask me, happiness is a subjective emotional unicorn we all strive for but never attain. Now before you go thinking this is a pessimistic answer, let me elaborate. When I say unicorn I don't mean that it doesn't exist, I simply mean it's something we all strive for but it's mythological to quite a massive degree. I say this because like love, we have a huge checklist of what is going to make us happy in life, but when we find ourselves happy, we quickly realize that we didn't need the full list and that it's not something permanent. Happiness is hardly a tattoo and it's often fleeting in its nature. Some people use words like joy and satisfaction as synonyms to happiness, but these are all emotions we understand much better than happiness. Joy can come from a number of things, but it's often a direct reaction to stimuli. Satisfaction is a result from something. Happiness doesn't need a reason to be, it demands no purpose, requires no explanation and has no definite staying time... it's just a wonderful feeling that you can't truly grasp and are forced to simply smile to. It could be the combination of emotional, physiological and spiritual elements interacting, coexisting and synergistically producing more than the sum of the parts. It flashes in and out of your system. Sometimes it gets comfortable and stays longer. Other times it's like Noob Saibot screaming Toasty in Mortal Kombat II.

As for the cause of happiness, the symptom is the same while the cause is different. Happiness can truly come as a byproduct of being satisfied. It may come through reflection, a lovely memory or a special moment that resonates deeper than you'd think…………………..

This was where I had left off this post when work interrupted me and later I received the news from a very close friend that his newborn son had just passed away. This changes the whole outlook of my answer but I didn’t want to erase what I had written, because as I said, happiness has no set definition and changes with circumstances.

I could say a whole series of things but rather than try to assimilate pain of the likes I have no idea, I will simply say that I’m heartbroken at the loss and pain of my friend. Thinking of happiness in a whole other context, I’m going to say that though happiness can and does exist of itself, it is usually the end through which endless means are taken.

As per usual, the road is often more satisfying than the destination. It’s something that can blossom out of satisfaction, peace of mind, knowing your loved ones are okay, acceptance, through a peculiar sense of faith, or by being appreciated. I also think the roads are a lot more permanent than the destination in the sense that you can try doing the same thing twice to achieve happiness but there are no guarantees that next time you traverse that road, you’ll find the same destination. Life then could be considered an ever changing experiential maze that switches the whereabouts of the proverbial cheese basically on a whim. By this I mean that just doing good for other people won’t necessarily make you happy. Success won’t necessarily make you happy either. Peace of mind is also something that doesn’t necessarily translate into happiness though I do think it’s one of the more efficient and trustworthy roads to the bliss that is happiness.

Seeing my friend going through what he is right now, happiness might almost seem as an alien feeling he once had, and it’s my job to try and help in any and every way I can… but that doesn’t mean that if he achieves peace of mind or if I help that either of us will feel happiness.

So is happiness achievable? Well yes and no… Yes because you can do your best to put yourself in a situation where you will finally be able to feel happy and no because it’s never entirely up to us to feel it. Physiologically you can try and get a good night’s rest, eat right, drink lots of water, quit soda altogether and eat your fruits and veggies. Spiritually you can find something to have faith in, be it God, humanity, the caribou or Joe Pesci. Emotionally you might want to try to find the company of people who respect, appreciate and love you unconditionally. Professionally you can try and earn a living doing something you do not detest. Psychologically you can try and deal with all your issues. But guess what, achieve all this and happiness won’t necessarily be yours and if you look around you’ll see that people have maybe one of the items listed and they’re happy.

So tweak your life formula as you see fit and just remember one thing: neither life nor happiness is permanent, so we should do our best to enjoy both as much as possible.

Cheers

And I thought cats sucked. Whoa.

Steve Jobs and Bill Bates.

Click at the name of the post for more. Via Sadanduseless.com.

iShot

If you think you have drunk stories, get ready for this. Since people apparently can't syphon alcohol down their gullet fast enough, they're doing vodka shots, through their eyes. That's right people, V is not for Visine anymore. Serve yourself a shot and douse your eye with it... by the way, remember it's alcohol you're pouring in for when that burn starts to settle in. The worst part? This is actually becoming a trend... what the fuck?

This, sadly, is not a joke: Use your boobs as a purse!

Click at the name of the post to buy it... I guess.

I need to go to the toy store. TOMORROW.

The weight of having a baby: an exploration of 7 months after stopping the pill.

I really think this might be the most personal post that I will ever write here. But I do this because this experience needs to be shared, not only with my friends (the two or three who actually know who I really am in real life) but with you guys out there who are also my sort of internet family. I guess no one that has decided to do this truly understands how it feels - I didn't. And no one tells you, honest. So I sat down tonight because... well, at some point in your life, this is one of those "moments" that you have to choose. Either you choose to have a baby or not to. But sooner or later, life comes by and sits you down, smiles, gives you a shot of tequila and asks, plainly... wanna do it or not? Yes or no, and you have to answer now.

So that's why I write about this, because it's easy to read about being pregnant, it's easy to buy yourself a copy of What to expect when you're expecting... but there's not much conversation about the process it takes. You don't hear lots of women - even less men - talking about how it felt when they were trying to get pregnant. Yep, they talk about going to the doctor, the in vitro thing and other stuff. But the process? I've never heard someone talk about this to me like I will try to attempt in this post.

And why? Well boys and girls... because those of you out there who are taking their time and/or are not sure, this is a real life story to keep in mind. It will not be to make you choose either side. Just to help you along the way, because dammit, I would have LOVED for someone to tell me a little about this part of the "baby hunt".

So... you kind of know already the start of the story.

The conversation started almost a year ago one time when I saw a little boy at the beach. It didn't take a lot of time to finally give an answer after that. Then, we decided to start on November. After almost 15 years of pills, injections and other contraptions that avoided having children... we said, let's get it on. No pun intended.

Well, let me start by saying... this is not easy. Not easy on the body and not easy on the mind. My body is just now getting back to normal, I guess. After all those years of hormones and stuff, my body resisted the process in such a full force I actually thought it didn't share with me the wish of having a baby. My system went kaput during the holidays and it took almost three months to feel sort of normal. It didn't hurt, there was no pain involved, but I could feel my body just resisting in other ways. My best explanation that I can give is like my body was addicted to the process of avoiding me being fertile and when I told it to let go, it didn't. Lost reference? Yes. It's Lost week at WAS. LOL.

So little by little and with a lot of talking, mainly between my boyfriend, ObGyn and myself, we've been working on trying to make my body get with the program. We've had a shitload of questions, we've felt confused a number of times, but now we're learning. My body is listening to us, finally. So, in that way, I'm slowly, very slowly making some progress.

The other part, and the one that there is no medication or no doctor to help, is the mental part.

This. Has. Been. A. Roller coaster. Of. Emotions.

First of all, let me give you the "brief". We made a promise to ourselves that we would not become some baby wacko jackos who took the job as an obsession. If we were going to do this, it would be the most natural way. No dates that we have to screw, no hours, no temperatures. No pills to make me more fertile, no weird animal sacrifices to Buddha. Also, we are not going to talk about this on even a weekly basis. The only promise was no more pills and just... do it. If it happened, it happened.

The thing is... no one told me how I would feel when month after month my heart would sink a little everytime I learned that we were not preggers. The first three months, I totally got the fact that it was going to take a while because my body was AWOL. But little by little, I started wishing. We both did. And for the last few months, it has been a little bittersweet, us hugging after I read the negative tests and he smiling telling me, again and again "don't worry babe, let's keep at it". It is very hard on both our hearts. The funny thing about hope is that it can make you feel very happy and full of joy. But when it crushes you... it comes down with all its might, heading straight for your heart and perfectly tears it in two.

So. Yeah. Well, I'm late. I'm a week late. Get your tickets to the Wild and Crazy Baby Ride. Keep your belongings in a safe place. Arms inside the vehicle at all times. Do not use cameras during the ride, as they can become projectiles. Please make sure your seat belt is securely fastened. Enjoy the show!

Yeah. Now we're just waiting. We're aware of it but we're not making a huge deal about it. We've been noticing the fact that day by day nothing happens. Should we call the doc? I say not yet. He agrees. We're not sure. Ok so what do we do?

Sunday came and we decided at least one thing. This Friday, if I'm still late, we're going to get a blood test. The roller coaster is dropping one more time. Will it go up or down?

Let's see. I'll keep you posted.

The Lost Ending, according to Lindelof and Cuse.

Always bet on Mac.

Lost in your Eyes. Epic.

Lost in the Aether: A Grateful Fan

With the end of Lost having passed and the opinions and sentiments showering in tow, I’ve been in a deeper state of reflection than I thought could have been possible. Some people call ‘The End’ total BS and have said it was worse than The Sopranos’ finale. Other people have called it the end all series finale to end finales. For me, it was just the right ending for pretty much the only television series that has inspired me to watch every single episode. It was its own creature and didn’t bother with being anything else than what it truly is.

Being a late blooming Lost fan, I recognize that I’ve only been hooked for a bit less than two years, so my experience is far removed from the Lost faithful who’ve been with this program since its inception. My relationship with the series includes drunken eight episode binges that were stopped if only to make the seasons last a little longer. Along the way there have been incredible twists, peculiar plot holes and some of the best character development I’ve ever had the honor to witness. Taking the initial set of characters and juxtaposing them with what you see in the end is truly something to behold and something I’ll be doing once I buy the most ultra deluxe box set these people can put forth.

Looking back at the whole series, I think about my favorite episodes, my favorite lines, my favorite characters and how televised tension drove me to an addiction to a vehicle or medium I’m not known to fall in love with. I love watching movies, but for the most part I steer clear of tv series because if you miss one episode, you’re out of the loop and getting back on track is nigh impossible, at least for me. But with Lost, that didn’t happen. This last season was the first and only one I watched live because I wanted that experience… and what an experience it was. Of all the seasons, this has been the most erratic: scoring dramatic perfection and following it with answers that didn’t necessarily satisfy me and actually inspired some meh moments for me (The Black Rock having gotten to where it was because of a Wave and the foot of the statue being that way because of the ship). Characters died suddenly and others returned much the same way. We were often confused and for every loose end tied, three were unraveled.

When you see the adverts, this season was advertised as the one to give you all the answers. Did they do exactly that? Of course not, and that’s one of the reasons why this series will be dissected to no end. The Sopranos had a random finale and left a lot of things way up in the air because the scene went to black. To be honest, I was never that much of a Sopranos freak, but I will refer to that finale often because it’s been one of the most polarizing events ever on TV. In Lost, they gave you an ending… and the perfect ending if you ask me. They spoke in ambiguous terms and let the door open just enough for interpretation to be as much of a main character as Locke, Jack, or Hurley.

Some people actually had a major problem with the ending. To them I offer the three alternate endings I heard sucked since they were spoofs, and I haven’t seen them. Maybe they’ll find some solace there. As for me, I truly think it’s as fitting an ending as I could have asked for. So the Flash Sideways is a type of afterlife. Does that mean they were all dead to begin with? No. That just means that a possible afterlife comes from the contact we have with other people and the relationships we create and nurture. Every person defines themselves by the actions they do or do not do and the act of any type of interaction is how we express who we are. What was the church? Well a possible explanation comes from one of the definitions of the word, which indicates that it is an organization and a society. Then were those their spirits? Maybe. A possible definition of life is to describe it as a series of events lived by a person, so with this definition, life is expressed as experience, communion and interaction. Think of it this way, without action, there is no life. In the Flash Sideways, people were being asked to let go… let go of the life they lived? Let go of their character flaws? Let go of their grudges, their memories? The possible answers are endless, and for this I’m thankful. For some, the fact that the ending wasn’t obvious or a definite answer irks them to no end. For me, it’s exactly how I would have wanted it to end, without knowing I wanted it to end that way.

In its mythos, Lost presents such an amalgam of theories, philosophies and thoughts that offering one universal answer would have been endlessly worse. So does that mean that Jack ended up with Kate in the afterlife? Does that mean Sawyer ended up with Juliet? In true Lost fashion, I’ll answer this question with another question, though un-Lost like, it is an answer: Weren’t the people who were linked inside the church the ones that had the deepest connection with each other? If you don’t follow, here’s my explanation. This possibly means that maybe Sawyer ended up with Kate, but the deepest connection he achieved in his time alive was with Juliet. This means that even if Jack had lived and he and Kate had been separated, they would have still been together in the afterlife, because the connection they achieved went beyond their eventual failure as a unit. That’s because in their moment they resonated, they transgressed any and all other outcomes. The moment was there, the experience had come to life and the connection had given them a path towards their soul. For Lost language purposes to be served, think of it as all of them finding their true constants.

Does this sound like total malarkey? Do you find yourself saying “son of a bitch”? Then that’s totally normal and exactly what dialogue on the whole series invites from its viewers. I don’t think we’ll ever see a series that has so many possible ways to interpret things as we’ll be allowed by Lost, and again, I’m thankful for that. The series mixed science with faith, mysticism with the challenges of life, and the balance between the relationship of what’s right and wrong merged with the age old struggle between good and evil. It’s an open book with dead ends; sudden twists and a branched ending that lets you stretch towards your own conclusions.

To further make my point, let’s look at the title of this post. There is a word there that may throw you off so here are its definitions:

FROM ANCIENT GREEK
Aether: The ancient Greek personification of the clear upper air of the sky.

MODERN USAGE:
Ether: 1.) The upper regions of space; the clear sky; the heavens. 2.) The medium supposed by the ancients to fill the upper regions of space. 3.) Physics. A hypothetical substance supposed to occupy all space, postulated to account for the propagation of electromagnetic radiation through space.

Just in case, it’s also a chemical compound based on ethyl alcohol and is highly flammable.

This series to me is aether-like in the sense that as we evolve the way we think of it, we’ll change its meaning and how it plays into our lives. Does this mean that I’m going to have this as my new religion? Of course not… but that doesn’t mean that a television show is not capable of helping me change the way I see life and think of things. In one definition, aether is the upper levels of the sky or space, in another it’s a tangible liquid that can easily be ignited. In another definition it says that it is a substance that occupies all space, hypothetically. It might be all these things, none of the above or an odd combination.

To further press my case that this was the perfect ending, there’s another word people have used and abused as fans of the series, seen everywhere but a word they might not fully grasp: dharma.

Dharma: 1.) Essential quality or character, as of the cosmos or one's own nature. 2.) Conformity to religious law, custom, duty, or one's own quality or character.

On one side, you have the essence of a person or the cosmos, while in the other definition you have the acceptance or compliance with law, duty, or one’s own nature. They might seem similar, but those few changes in the meaning are what make each definition unique. Lost was true to its dharma in the sense that at no time did it choose any type of compromise. It is what it is; it shall be what it was, and whatever happened, happened. My thanks to the creators of this series and to you I have three words:

Cheers and Namaste

We're not Lost anymore: my view on the end of all ends.

HUGE SPOILER ALERT. I'M WRITING ABOUT THE ENDING OF LOST. IF YOU ARE STILL WATCHING OR PLAN TO JOIN THE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD THAT HAVE WATCHED IT, JUST VISIT ANOTHER BLOG FOR TODAY. HONEST. COME BACK TOMORROW. OH, AND WHEN YOU COME BACK... YOU MIGHT WANT TO IGNORE THIS POST. JUST... JUST READ BELOW. OR ABOVE. WHATEVER. JUST AVOID THIS POST. THANK YOU. NAMASTE.

If there is one thing that we WAS people love, it's Lost. Restrictions got us hooked by talking about how great it was, and at the end, I decided to rent the first season and see for myself if my friend had a point or not.

That was the last moment of my life that I had Tuesdays available. I've never - ever - seen such an amazing tv program like this one. Period. Ever. For as long as I will live, I can bet that no one will compare to what this show achieved.

And, like the story goes, all good things must come to an end. And dammit, what an end.

Last night I was a little bit upset. Huh? What the fuck, I thought. All that suffering, all that dedication and passion... and they died? Fuck! What about having a life after all this shit? I was very confused. I just went to sleep.

Now as I have been thinking and rethinking (like many Losties out there, my bet)... I decided that I love the ending. Yes. That's what we needed. Redemption. Sheer happiness and joy. And what better place to find it than with all the people you love, somewhere perfect? Somewhere where nothing is wrong, everything is just perfect if you let go? Epic shit.

The thing that made me get it today was one single fact - the one which I've known all my life. Your life is a journey and you share it with people you love. While people can enter your life and leave, some stay forever. And ever, and ever. You build the story of your life with them all around you. So it's fitting to the point of perfection that the show decided to give us that special moment when they finally can "escape" to a better life.

So yes, we do have some issues unresolved. At the end, if you look at it, they are sort of victims of two brothers fighting. At least, if you look at it from a simple, to the point angle, they were. Now, the fact was that they needed to be there and get involved - and in comes my theory - because they were flawed and they needed that amazing situation to be better people. So they needed to be involved in Jacob and Toby's fight (In my house, the smoke monster's name is Toby) to evolve, sort of speak.

I for one loved that idea. We all get together in the end and move on. I don't know where my peeps will meet. I hope it's a bar near a beach somewhere, where the tab is always open, the sun never goes down and the chips and salsa come in every 30 minutes. Oh and Oreos. We all have bucket of Oreos and we never, ever get fat.

Cheers Lost. I've enjoyed the ride and become a Lostie full circle. May the reruns be sweet and merry. I'll miss you and miss not having Tuesdays for a long time.

A great applause for Target and their incredible Lost ads!

Innapropriate Childrens Books. Awesome

Click at the name of the post for more. Via Our Kitchen Sink.com

Best Soccer Commercial EVER!!!

The more things change, the more they stay the same

NOTE: If you have a friend who is studying industrial psychology, refer them to this post because it’s probably a decent case study.

If you've read this blog for some time, maybe you've come to realize that this contributor worked in 5 of the most caustically crappy agencies I think I could have chosen. Back tracking on my career, it’s almost as if I was trying to emulate Raging Bull with my job choices, going to work at places that were infamous for the typical ad sins: bullshit work hours, no budget, slave trading ways, etc. and always asking for more and insisting that I never went down, even though I was taking a hell of a beating. Well more than a year and a half ago I began my first job outside of an agency.

It was odd and weird because I started to see typical office setting behavior and was disturbed to see things from sitcoms happening right there, at arm’s length from me. But for the longest of time, I’d been satisfied because my quality of life had taken a drastic upturn in comparison to what I was used to. People were appreciative and I felt as if my 110% was finally being taken into consideration. I could leave earlier, and the workload was something I could deal with. But there were familiar signs here and there of things I truly hated from advertising. Dormant egos waiting to bloom; manners forgotten; kindness lost to bureaucracy and ass kissing of all kinds on display and rewarded by “professionals” that though higher up in the food chain, were just as much of an ass kisser as the bottom feeders I hated.

A couple of months ago I found myself huffing and puffing similar to what I used to do in Ad Land. I didn’t like that I was relapsing into the frustration that almost became a trademark of my demeanor. Slowly but surely, I found that people I had grown fond of for being different to the typical beasts in the Ad jungle were slowly metamorphosing into those very disgusting creatures I’d grown to hate with a passion.

Speaking of passion. The novelty of what I had been doing was quickly fading and I realized that a lot of people around me talk a great game, but have no substance and that in the end, they delegated most of their duties, took all the credit and at best gave a small pat on the back. I found myself treading through ghostly advertising-like lanes in a corporate setting. Suddenly my 110% was being taken for granted, I’d grown to loathe a coworker to the point of smiling every time I thought of a way they could find an early demise and what was once a cozy cove of a cubicle, had become a disgusting cell that assailed anything I could consider productive. What I used to call creative I now call innovative and it’s just as hard for it to survive if you sail a decent idea down the pipeline.

And as recently as today, it dawned upon me that no matter what, professional satisfaction is a fish you can’t catch and if you do, it doesn’t last long. You either eat it, let it go or let it rot through your fingers. I’ve been working my ass off, I’ve shown initiative, I’ve given ideas, I’ve written a detailed proposal for a company that might still be the place for me and I’ve met the same type of reaction that truly inspires people to quit on the turn of a dime.

I’m waking up and finding it hard to drag myself to work… a job I used to bounce all merry-like not too long ago. So I look back and I ask myself, where the hell was the turning point? When did frustration re-enter my diet and why am I so full of it? I look back and all I see is a blur in the last couple of months… a similar sensation to when I’d grown tired with an advertising job and had decided to end things before I gave the agency the chance to be the one with the moral victory of ending the relationship.

I ask myself, have I really fallen down the path of apathy yet again? And typical questions like, why is this happening? Where did I go wrong? When did I find myself unhappy again? And the like start creeping into my brain. The familiar stench of self pity is splashed with an extra shot of self hatred for feeling self pity, which makes me gag and I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I find myself being greeted with cutouts of articles talking about procrastination while supervisors and people with some leverage in the decision making business of the department are constantly rendezvousing to chat it up while I have my headphones on and I’m sending the twelfth job for the day. I’m handing things early and the thanks I get are the ones that are already embedded into the signature of an email. That and finger wagging emails highlighting trivial “mistakes” that are more style than substance and which on a rush day wouldn’t make any difference.

Then I realize something very important. I hadn’t made it out of the maze. I’d just passed to another level where there were new monsters to be felled and the layout was different, but it was still the same game. I had been suckered into thinking I was free but then I ended up asking myself who took my cheese and snapped out of the trance in time to realize I’d been doing work so a lot of people could look good while I was given the Cinderella treatment, and kept under wraps.

So though I’m not there just yet, I do feel the sneaky suspicion that further ahead on my trip, there’s another fork in the road, or maybe even a crossroad to offer me three options. It’s not that far away but I am disappointed that a road that had been so pleasant for some time has turned so disheartening.

But not all is bad. I’m finding that my typical creative outlets are actually booming in this time of desecration and I hold onto some meager strands of faith that I’ll be able to work as a writer in the future. The first draft of the book is finished, the plans for the second book are already being finalized, the story arc is being developed and I’m finding solace in my craft. Other things loom as possibilities in the horizon and I’m wishing upon a star so as to get a chance to do what I love and finally do what I’ve been trying to for so long… make a difference.

So if you’re reading this and you also happen to be in a morbid mood. Rest assured dear friend, you’re not alone. You really aren’t but if you really want out of what you’re feeling, it takes hard work, luck, or ass kissing. For my part, I still keep faith in the first two so as to never land on the third. So feel free to wish me luck, for I will do the same for you.

Cheers

The "I hate Twilight" Post.

Dear Readers: I started this post a couple of months ago and never got to finish it. Tonight, the idiot Twihards have given me reason to take my time and end this post... with a bang. Enjoy.

Part 1: When I started the post, I stumbled upon this gem:

Twilight Fans Get Punked - watch more funny videos

After watching this amazing clip of video, I decided to express my disgust of the most disturbing "fad" right now around the world. The Twilight Saga. Yes. Get ready for a full of hate post, ladies and gentlemen. 'Cause this one is one overdue post. I cannot remember the last time one movie made me so angry that I watched it, and most of all, angry at the fact that I know that many young women are eating this crap up. So, to all the parents out there that are letting young kids watch this turd of a movie, let's give you the basics.

Girl moves to Dad town. Girl meets creepy white guy in school. Creepy white guy is a douche. Girl insists on knowing such douche. Douche gets interested. Other Mullet wearing dude likes girl. Creepy white guy turns to be a "vampire". Girl has no problem. Vampire will not bite girl. Girl gets in trouble, vampire douche saves her. End of boring story.

Insert in that really basic plot as much cliche moments, really stupid lines and amazingly bad acting.

Yeah, sure. Bad acting happens every day, right? We've all seen bad movies! Sure, you got a point. But this movie is not only really bad for you and your grey cells. Twilight teaches women to be absolute wimps! While some people will think that it's about romance, I call bullshit. Not so.

This movie has a main character who at one point in the movie said that living without her high school sweetheart is not an option. Yeah. Go ahead and kill yourself if the one you love can't be with you. Great! Can you make a franchise of tshirts, dvd's, books and other crap things to really get the message home? Thank you. Teach young women that they NEED to depend on men. That losing the one you love is unthinkable. LOVELY.

While your kids tell you that it's just a romantic movie, it's not. The characters are creepy in a not so cool way. There's one thing when it's chick flick romantic, there's another thing when young lovers are portrayed this way. There's a sort of obsession that is not healthy for teenagers. At that age, you don't know shit about love. Fuck! I know people in their thirties who still don't know squat about a healthy relationship!

The actors are awful. Just... Bad. Overacted. Creepy. Sad. The story makes absolutely no sense and is a total waste of time, even if you are thirteen years old. The thing that baffles me is the fact that people from all ages are eating this crap up. I went to my dermatologist the other day and one of the nurses, who has to be like 45 years old, was ranting about Team Jacob. I almost walked off and found myself a new doc.

Look. I sat down and watched it completely. I was thinking that it had to be good, because I could not believe that thousands of people are nuts for this without a reason... Well, I don't get it. Can someone explain this to me?

Part two: Today I saw this.

And this gets me even more riled up. Adults. Are. Camping. For. 96. Hours. To see this crap! Really? Come on, human beings all around the world! WHAT IS GOING ON!? This cannot be the movie of a generation! Vampires? Shirtless dudes that turn to wolves?

WTF is going on??????

Incredible!

Another logo shakes things up

Seattle's Best Coffee revealed a redesigned logo this week... and people are crying foul. Click on post title for full article.

WHAT?

I loved meeting the Fantastic Mr. Fox.

I guess I noticed it when I saw Ratatouille. There I was, laughing my ass off when I thought, "Fuck, this movie is not for kids!" Alas, a new era: animated movies made for adults. YES! God listened! Amazing. Well, last night our friends at Netflix dropped Fantastic Mr. Fox at my door. And boy, what a great time we had.

And what is the movie about? Well... it's just the life of a little Fox and his family. Mr. Fox just doesn't want to settle for a normal life. So he thinks up a plan to steal chickens, ducks and other yummy fox foods from three evil farmers. A normal plot, a very innocent story, right? Not so.

This is an awesome script. I mean. Jesus, I thought it was almost improvised, how extremely normal it sounded. George Clooney, the most incredible human being that walks the earth in my opinion does the voice of Mr. Fox; Meryl Streep does the voice of his wife. So now you know you have gold in the audio department. Those two sound amazing together. You feel their marriage and how much patience, love and understanding they have for each other. I cannot remember the last time I got that in a real movie.

Apart from other great actors and awesome script, you just have a beautiful piece of cinematography. The stop motion is spot on, but there's a little bit more. It's just so colorful and well done! Every little detail, the way the wind moves Mr. Fox little hairs, the way the eyes glisten when they are talking to camera... It's a real gem. I guess it all comes down to its director, Wes Anderson - of The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore fame. So you can now picture how quirky it actually is. (Um. Did I just write quirky? Fuck. I suck.)

Most importantly, it's funny. Not silly funny. Funny as life is funny. Those pesky little conversations you have with your wife or husband about wanting more out of life, check. The way you don't understand your kids sometimes, check. The way you talk about your neighbors or relatives, check. It's all there. See? Not a movie for kids.

I agree completely that this movie deserved the Oscar nomination and... are you ready? I think it deserved the Oscar better than Up. There. I said it.

Rent it!

Death of the Copywriter

It’s been a while since here at WAS we posted something that actually had something to with advertising, so here goes…

Copywriters are no more. We are a dying breed, if not dead already.

Hold it, let me back up.

The role of the advertising copywriter is what is dead. It has evolved exponentially so that copywriters no longer actually write. Today’s copywriter is not a writer per se, but an idea engineer. Sure, he or she will write a witty headline and, if the client is lucky, maybe 35 words of body copy, but the copywriter’s main responsibility today is coming up with The Big Idea.

I say this because, ever since making a slight career shift years ago, I’ve managed to distance myself enough from the process to see it as an outsider. Also, in my current line of work, I am doing an insane of amount of actual writing on a daily basis, the very same writing process that I oh so dearly missed from back in my journalism days. And, because I work next to a group of “award-winning” copywriters, I am often asked to fix their writing screw-ups.

It’s simple really: today’s copywriters aren’t good writers in the technical sense, such as with syntax and grammar. They suck. However, they are very smart idea people. To the point of genius, I would even dare to say. And, coming up with good ideas to shell your client’s products or services is much more difficult than writing something cool, so I give the upper hand to today’s copywriters. For me, writing a 2,500-word essay is a cinch. However, writing an effective headline can take me days… and most often than not, the result sucks big time.

Today, a talented copywriter must subscribe to the school of Less is More. It takes tremendous skill to be able to say so much using the least amount of words as possible. I tip my hat to you, dear 21st Century copywriter.

Take a look at ads from 10, 15 or 20 years ago. Loads of text! I remember print ads with almost 800 words, indistinguishable from a magazine article. Advertising writing was a process. Today’s print ads are lucky to have two words as a headline. Pick up the latest issue of Archive or Communication Arts and see for yourself.

The fact of the matter is that today’s agencies look to copywriters not for their writing skills, but for their fresh ideas. We all know that the client or lawyers end up writing the body copy, so why not let our guys do all the big thinking? It makes perfect sense and kudos to them. It’s a nice gig if you can get it.

So maybe an “advertising copywriter” is a misnomer. Maybe they should be called something else, like… oh, I don’t know… let a copywriter come up with that.

Old-School Ad:




















New-School Ad:

Netflix Alert: Level Orange

Fly me to Heaven: the Bose QuietComfort 15 Noise Canceling Headphones are pure MAGIC.

If there is one thing about roaming the world that sucks - besides taking off your shoes at Airport Security - is the incredible noise inside a plane. I've never, ever been able to get a decent sleep in any of my flights because of that insane humming sound. That was, until I bought myself the Bose QuietComfort 15 Noise Canceling Headphones. And suddenly, all is good. All is wonderful. Me so happy.

So. The first thing I'm gonna tell you - they are shit expensive. Almost 300 bucks. But ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that purchase is the best thing you will ever spend your hard earned cash in a while.

They really shut out any noise, period. Ok, I'm not saying that you will not hear something, but the thing is it really shuts off annoying sounds like babies crying, idiotic conversations, stupid people who cannot listen to their crappy music in a plane and must have it really loud so the sound can leak through their headphones... and loads of other shit things you have to tolerate while on the air. Yes, you can be able to just lay down... close your eyes... sleep. You will not even listen to that Captain telling you how high you are flying. Epic.

They are really comfortable to wear and come in a cool ass case that you can just throw in any bag. If you're willing to give it a try and actually drive to a Sony store, let me give you two pointers. 1) Don't fall for the in ear noise canceling headset. Bought them. Waste of 80 bucks. 2) Save a little bit of money and don't buy the really expensive Rechargeable Battery Model of the series. In all around the world you can buy yourself a couple of AAA Batteries and don't need the hassle of recharging anything. Besides, they are not as comfy and if you try to rest your head, they tend to move a bit.

Oh. The sound is extremely awesome. But that is kind of obvious coming from Bose.

Happy Flying! Me.

YouTube in 4 minutes

Media Department! THERE ARE OTHER THINGS BEYOND A BILLBOARD.

Put Politicians on Minimum Wage...

Neurosonics Audiomedical Labs Inc!

The Nerd Gamer in me says... YES!

Fortune Cookie 500#'s 386-390

On communication skills
Talking more and saying less just adds to confusion.

On intolerance
I’m surrounded by Neanderthals decorated with technology.

On complacency
Complacency is just a nice way of saying you don’t give a shit.

On meaningless banter
The more you think you’re getting your point across, the more I’ll nod while ignoring you.

On drama queensYou are evidence that happy doesn’t necessarily mean gay.

Tame the Lion

So its awards season here in my country of residence. Ad agencies big and small are scrambling to get their pieces together, investing more man-hours in useless work. Creatives are begging clients to let them run their Big Idea ads using the most obscure media placement strategy possible, just so the piece can qualify for competition. ‘Tis also the time of year when everyone gets together in some fancy hotel ballroom to drunkenly gossip about who got fired from where, who left what agency, and who’s fucking whom.

Me? I’m just looking forward to seeing all the ads that the general public never saw in real time, and most likely never will.

Fortune Cookie 500 #'s 381-385

On mediocrity
Any monkey with nail polish can forward an email.

On mediocrity II
With great power comes great delegation.

On mediocrity III
Delegation is a fancy word for asking someone to do what you cannot.

On mediocrity IV
Kiss ass, look busy and what your evaluation soar.

On mediocrity V
Fear making a mistake more than asking a question. Doing one can avoid the other.

Even the gods have gods they look up to

Many months ago we posted a high-level Netflix Alert for “It Might Get Loud”. Well, last night I finally got to see it… and now I want to quit my job and rock out. Well, midlife crisis and wishful thinking aside, this is a must-see DVD. And, you don’t have to be a fan of music to appreciate the inherent message.

The film is a documentary of sorts that pits three generations of guitar rockers together (Jimmy Page, The Edge, and Jack White) to discuss their passion for shredding. Among other things, they each discuss how they got into it, why they do it, how they do what they do. A large chunk of the film goes into brief bios of each rocker while the rest simply films what happens when these three dudes get together for the first time to talk. Think Larry King turned up to 11, no moderator.

At first glance the gathering may seem odd. No three people could be more far apart. Page is the elder statesman, the man who spearheaded a musical revolution whose effects are being felt to this very day. Every musician alive today cites him as both an inspiration and influence. The Edge is the pop king, a tech wizard heavily reliant on special effects and cool gadgets. And contrary to his last name, Jack White is the blackest of the three, a wild child with an encyclopedic knowledge of music and a passion for all things old school – cheap guitars (some even improvised), vinyl, reel-to-reel recorders, blues, gospel, folk, punk, and plain old loud stuff. It’s ironic that White, the youngest of the group, is the one most seeded in tradition.

However, as the film progresses, you start to see several common denominators (mathematically impossible, I know) that unite them.

Firstly, these guys were destined to rock. There is no way that they could’ve done anything else. For them, it was shred or die.

Secondly, their respect for music is cult-like. They let the music dictate the terms of their relationship. Neither of them set out to create a new sound – the music “spoke” to them and they each have to wrestle it to get it out. Jack White even goes so far as to say that to play guitar, “there has to be a struggle” between musician and instrument.

And finally, they don’t see themselves as gods. In fact, they are each in awe of other musicians. You’d expect massive egos – especially from Jack White – but it’s humbling to see these “untouchables” bow down to the music of other artists, usually unseen musicians who never got the chance to shine in a commercial world. I mean, who would expect The Edge, who’s played before millions of people in countless sold out stadiums all over the world, say that he’s not as good as so-and-so?

In the end they jam together and show a great amount pf respect for each other – nothing too heavy, but delicious all the same. These guys would never do a super group thing (though Jack White already has THREE bands) because they’re above all that. But they do show us that passion for what you do could lead to great things, regardless of the frustration or pain.

If the producers of this film are reading this (yeah, right!) may I suggest for “It Might Get Loud 2” a meeting between Slash, Mick Mars and Prince?

I just love Graffiti

Simple and to the Point. The Are You Happy Guide.

God Listened. The End of Farmville might be near.

The Thirty Eight Million Dollar Man.

It's really not important how I met him, really. Let's just start the story by saying that once in a Land Far Far Away I met a man who seemed to have it all and then a shitload more. How big a shitload, may you ask?

The kind that makes you don't work anymore. The kind that makes you do nothing, all day. Maybe you invest in some douche stock market companies. Maybe you grab your balls and swirl them over all day while your nanny takes care of your grandchild. Who knows.

I visited his house a couple of times (sort of had to, so there you go, a little hint goes a long way) and like any other homo sapien, I thought 'Fuck this man is loaded'. Was I impressed by his wealth? Not really. All I really thought was... inside this incredible house filled with amazing artwork, fountains, cars and two closets that are the size of your garden variety Master Bedroom... lives a very unhappy dude.

I was so right.

Why do I know how much money does he have and why does it matter? Well, the first part was sort of an accidental blurt of information and the other... well, maybe it matters for some reason. Hence my post.

There are people with some money and there are people with sooooo much fucking money you'd think they'd go crazy trying to live life in a semi normal way. This man is the latter. The moment I met him, I knew about his "situation" but the thing that really shocked me was not that he was rich or whatever. That didn't make any connection with me, because I've grown up around people with money who are very normal and don't show off that much. But this guy was different. He has all the money people sometimes dream of and still... looks MISERABLE. Honestly, that is one sad mo'fo that I really avoid seeing as much as I can.

38 Million American Dollars and he's always angry, has a bad view on just about anything, does not contribute in any way to a conversation just besides all the houses and trips that he goes to. I have never seen him laugh. I have never seen him hug his wife. I have never seen him say something funny or, dare I say, at least witty. (Shit I still hate that word)

I just made a payment of one of my monthly bills. I have 500 bucks on my bank account. I smiled. I am way happier than the millionaire. I have my friends, my family, a decent life. I have all the things that this man can't buy. Funny and Ironic.

So again, I am right in that old argument with another friend of mine who is surely working his butt off to become the next rich but alone dude: success is not money or power.

PS: That's not the guy I know. That's Carlos Slim. The Richest Man int he world. Another unhappy looking man, if you ask me.

Apartmentron!

What you Didn't see on last SNL: Betty White on Bronx Beat!

Lost is almost over. Son of a Bitch.

Cats... well, they are interesting.

Hey Movie Lovers, this one's for you.

Dogs Rule.

Betty White is awesome.

It's all about the Benjamins, baby.

Next time you scream "Sell Out"... think about this.

What does faith feel like?

Recently, Me posted a very interesting post with a very interesting question... here's my answer.


What an interesting question. It’s almost like trying to effectively describe love. Some people describe love as a warm and fuzzy feeling you might have inside, but think about it, what exactly is a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside? For warm you can think of a soup on a cold day or maybe a shot of brandy as a night cap, or how about a hot shower when you’re still groggy? For fuzzy you think of texture, something completely sensorial; which is funny because you can’t really grasp or touch love. Yes you can feel it, but you can’t touch it.

So when you ask what faith encompasses physiologically, you will get a variety of metaphorical answers that try to explain something that can’t truly be explained effectively. If you want a straight answer, you will probably not get a better one than Restriction’s. He used vivid examples from your life to try and help you understand what is pretty un-understandable.

For my part I recently did my Catholic Confirmation. You know this and somewhere inside you, I think there is the suspicion that I drank some magic Kool Aid and have suddenly gone all Christ loving. For some reason, saying I’m agnostic consistently gets people thinking I’m atheist. It’s like if I said I were bisexual everyone would think I was gay, because once you suck cock, well, it’s hard to make a case that you are not a one reproductive organ lover. But as with most things with me, it’s not that simple.

I have a Catholic upbringing so that’s my frame of reference to explain something that I don’t get, but I feel. Does that mean I deny my Buddhist, Hindu, or Muslim sisters and brothers? Certainly not. I find different religions deeply fascinating, as I do the one I’ve been brought up on. Does that mean I deny my Science loving brothers and sisters? Certainly not. That’s because none of us have any clue as to what’s really going on and why we’re here, but we all have the right to search for answers.

Science and religion have fought since their beginnings pointing a finger at each other and saying each one has the real explanation of why we’re all here, and that is simply bullshit. Being agnostic, I question most things and accept the possibility of most things as well. Do I believe there’s a man in the sky dressed in white robes who gives pieces of delicious tasting bread to people for behaving? No. Do I believe that there is no God and that we are merely products of ribonucleic recombinations, ever adapting to our current environment? No. Reality just isn’t that simple or clear cut, if you ask me.

If you break it all down, one explanation is rational while the other one is emotional. My problems with science stem from the fact that when you control conditions to produce a result, you’re nothing more than a glorified magician. You might have changed your cape and wizard’s hat for a lab coat and notebook, but you’re no different. You’ve just upgraded to fit the times and refined your magic work to convince people of your truths with complicated numbers, charts and calculations. If you wonder how I could say such a preposterous thing, it’s simple. If you accept the words anomaly, probability, and error, you accept that science is flawed. On the other hand, you have religion. Purely emotional and offering some explanations that don’t make a whole lot of sense. But if you simply look at them that way, obviously you won’t see any benefit in either.

Bill Maher is a cynic of the times and though he makes a lot of sense a lot of the time, he can be such a smug prick about his opinions that he doesn’t accept there’s some grey middle ground to be discussed as well. I love how he gets all pissy and preachy when someone has a differing opinion that irks him, because though he can accept arguments on certain topics, he’s quite incisive towards others. People have said that for ages religion has been the reason why we’ve had wars and conflicts for as long as we know. I say false.

Before your eyebrow hits the ceiling, hear me out. Religion by itself is harmless, as is science. They are trying to explain something we don’t understand. Some of the things might not make any sense, but we take the answers we’re given until a better one comes along. Just in case, religion hasn’t killed people. Religious people however, now that’s a whole other story. Religious institutions, which are governed by people who use religion for their own ulterior motives, now that’s where evil does reside. Because you take something harmless like a book, let’s call it the bible, and you misquote it to justify some pretty heinous actions and then have the balls to say that God told you to do it. Well let’s put it this way, if you change the character of God for Satan, then a person goes from being divinely enlightened to possessed, and from righteous to villainous, just because you changed one character. But in its essence, it’s still just a book trying to explain what the hell is going on. Is it factual? No. Is it historical? Slightly. Is it the truth? Well exactly WHAT is the truth? It’s just a book and religion is just a set of mores, rules and guidelines to try and get you through your day without stepping on other people’s toes.

Some people might say “But science and technology have come a long way in helping us understand the cosmos?” If that’s so, then why do we underuse our brains? If that’s so, then why do new theories oust old theories? If you want my perspective, it’s simple: data + results do not equal the truth. It equals a possible truth. And if religion was used as the scapegoat to start wars, science and technology developed the means to carry them out. It’s not like people were fighting each other with crosses and hard cover versions of the bible. So which one is worse?

Since I was 13 I’ve had a crisis of all faiths resulting from almost drowning and not seeing a tunnel of light, not feeling a hand pulling me from the depths towards safety. I’ve been thinking and pining over death since I was about 9 and had already lost about four close relatives. But does that mean I won’t pray and speak to a higher power I know nothing about? Does that mean I’ll look at scientists and religious people and scoff at their explanations of why we’re here? Simply put, no. I’m not one to judge anyone on their preferred set of explanations. I just try to get something out of everything I come in contact with because it’s always easier to write something off, but it isn’t that easy to see a positive in something that may not make sense. So would I say I’m religious? Not necessarily. Would I say I’m scientific? Not necessarily. For me, a non logical combination of spiritual and rational aspects is more towards my liking… and no, I’m not going to become a Scientologist either.

As for religion, to me it offers examples and issues a set of guidelines. Regarding Catholicism and Christianity, I actually really like the figure of Jesus and his values. From what I’ve read and what you may grasp, he tried to help people, tried to talk sense to them, was the first feminist, accepted lepers, hookers, Moors and Samaritans. He decried institutions and criticized temples that divided and categorized people hierarchically. He invited people to look at themselves before criticizing others and he stuck to his values, even if it meant dying. Now you can speculate whether he was the son of god, a savior, or what have you, but at the very least, you can’t deny that what’s been written has him being a pretty cool cat. He said if you are slapped, offer the other cheek, which I interpret it as saying that it takes two to fight or that if someone loses their cool, it’s up to you to keep the cool (but that’s my interpretation). He was pissed at Pharisees and called them hypocrites because they were more concerned with money, influence and power rather than faith. He also said that whoever looked at their brother and cried fool would face the fires of hell. Now if you take the hell connotation out, it seems like he’s asking people to do something better than to criticize or judge others.

Now do I think all of this is factual and happened as is written? Well I’ll answer a question with a question: Why are there different versions of the bible, why are their scrolls we are not allowed to read and why do we need others to interpret the “word of god”. Why is there an interpreter or a middle man? Hell, last time I checked, if you played the telephone game with eight people, the message that starts out rarely gets to the end without changing significantly. I think religion is much the same way. True, they try to maintain the tradition and what have you, but time passes, needs arise and greed edits to its own satisfaction, be it science or religion. Honestly speaking, I could just as well quote Star Wars, Fight Club, The Sandman, Dune, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Niebla and Lord of the Rings and some of their characters to show what aspects I resonate with and base my theory of life on.

But to answer your question, what does faith feel like? Well, I have no idea, but if I had to describe, it’s that split second when you jump off a ledge, after you took that step and before you begin to freefall where you don’t know what anything is going to feel like, but you have already accepted the direction your going and that in the end, the outcome won’t matter, because you’ll be ok with it if you look at it with an open mind. If you fall to your death, it’s a logical explanation; if you land on a lower ledge, it could be divine intervention or luck; and if you sprout wings and float away, it’s a miracle. The middle explanation is the only one that accepts personal interpretation and offers a choice, whereas the other two lean completely to rational or emotional. What they all have in common is that before the outcome, you took a step and said screw it, what will be will be and the peace in that moment, though brief it may be, is what we may know as faith. It is the happiness of a decision without taking into account the consequence, it is not caring about anything but the moment. It is freedom in its purest form.

Other people describe how faith feels more in tune to the definition of joy, enlightenment, celebration, security, etc. I’ve simply chosen to describe it as peace. Is this the right answer? Instead of replying with, “who knows?” or saying “maybe”, I ask another question: “why care?”

Draft your definition, edit as you see fit and be happy if you find an answer that makes even the slightest bit of sense for you.

Hope this perspective in some way helps in your quest to find your definition.

Cheers

I wonder what ad campaign can solve this one.

WHAT?

Anatomically Incorrect Clip Arts... I mean, Tattoos.

Count your TV's, man!

The God Concept. Please, explain.

Here it is. The post that will make everyone angry. Yes. After five years of writing, I'm betting all my hard earned cash that this post will actually make people mad. And trust me, this is an honest as they come post. This is truly Me, asking a simple question. Gird your loins oh readers of mine. 'Cause here it is.

Can someone please make me understand how believing in God feels like?

There. I said it. Wait. WAIT! I'm not trying to be funny or disrespectful. In fact, this has been THE question that NO ONE has tried to answer in a logical way. As I don't believe in God or Jesus as people define them (Son of God, miracles, yada yada yada), this has been sort of a mystery. You see, I see religious people and I sit there and think... I don't get it. What is it? What made you believe? What possibly made you believe all the stories, the dogma, the weird things that people do in Church?

What made me ask this question and write this post - which will sure make us lose a shitload of readers but, again, was not my intention - was simple.

I was having dinner with my boyfriend last Friday and the nice dude who was our waiter was talking to us. I don't know how the theme got there, but suddenly the waiter was talking about how he suddenly dropped out of everything and turned to serve God.

"There is no better peace but that of God's" - he said.

Hm. Really? Damn, I totally disagree! Peace for me is being at the beach, alone with my thoughts, having a cool beer and watching the sunset. That's a peace that NO one can give me. I've been to church. I've listened to many Garden Variety Preachers go at it. Hard Core. Not one has given me any iota of peace. Oh yeah, I did read the Bible. Not one piece of peace there as well. In fact, all I thought was... women are nothing in this book, dammit!

So... Why? What made you think that way? Do you at one point get filled with some kind of great feeling and feel it's God? What kind of peace are you talking about? Did you feel lost at some point so now God is telling you the way? How can you tell apart the fact that maybe you just were droning along in life and now you think that some guy upstairs is guiding you, when all it really is your brain just thinking straight for once?

Really guys. Believing in God = Faith, right? So tell me, please, how does it feel like. What is having faith? And please, don't give me Bible talk. No. I need a strong rational argument. Believing in God feels like this and this and this, because this and this.

I don't want the normal if you believe in God then you will go to heaven storyline. Nope. I'm not even asking WHY you believe in God as much as HOW do you feel while doing it. Is it a need? Is it that you feel some kind of reward or you think you have a reward? Does that poor sap have peace, really? Why?

Why????

Hopefully someone will write back. I have... faith?

Now this is brilliant...

The undefeated streak continues, Fucking Mayweather....

The event has come and gone and I don't think many boxing fans would have minded having a heart attack during the break between rounds 2 and three of the Shane Mosley Floyd Mayweather fight. Unfortunately, I at least sat through the whole fight and saw yet another notch be formed on Mayweather's belt.

Now before you go thinking I'm suddenly a Mayweather fan, the fact remains that until Shane, he's ducked a ton of people and yes some people will make a case that Shane is over the hill, etc. etc. etc. I for one will not be so kind to Shane Mosley. Being a Shane fan I was wishing and begging for Shane to impose his supposed strength, push the action and make it a rough fight... and he did just that... for two rounds. Round two shall forever go down in the books as the round most people smiled in a Mayweather fight... then things became all too familiar and phrases like "he's too good", "he's getting outclassed" and this isn't even competitive began to creep into the dialogue.

If you want it put simply, if any boxer fights Mayweather's fight, there is absolutely no chance in hell anyone can beat him. If you don't make it a physical and aggressive fight. There's no way in hell anyone can beat Floyd Mayweather Jr. If you don't hit on the clinch, if you don't dirty box, if you're not willing to take three shots to land one, and if you try and potshot with the king of sharp shooting, no one will beat Floyd Mayweather Jr.

If you want to look for excuses for Shane, you can find a few and you suck for using them as a crutch. I won't mention the reach advantage, the age advantage or the ring rust. I won't even say that maybe Shane over trained. Fuck that. Shane lost the fight because he fought Mayweather's fight for nine rounds and I even wanted him to get knocked out at one point because I was so frustrated. I don't know how many times Shane had Floyd on the ropes and no punches were thrown. I don't know how many times Shane tried to size up and counter Floyd and I also lost count of the times where I screamed towards the screen and tried to transfer some of my life force into a boxer that suddenly seemed unwilling to engage.

It could have been Mayweather's brilliance, Shane might have gotten tired or who knows if there was even money under the table; I have no clue and as stated above, I'm not interested in nurturing a kind respond to Shane Mosley and for the first time ever, I've been able to come away from a Shane fight feeling animosity towards him.

I could offer you a round by round breakdown, but instead I'll just offer the major themes in the fight.

Rounds 1 and 2 Shane won and he won the second round decisively to the point of making Floyd look like he was on his way to the canvas.

Rounds 3 and onward, Floyd hit Shane with the punches he wanted to and made Shane look like a complete fool and utterly outclassed.

BTW, my feelings towards Mayweather do not change. I still think he's a supremely talented asshole and I will not overlook his lacking past because of an impressive present, I don't care what any Mayweather sympathizer wants to say. To his credit, he stood his ground, was aggressive and took Shane Mosley out of the fight. Credit where credit is due, the same as with criticism. In the past I've said Floyd has rarely taken risks in his career and I stand by that opinion even though there is a sea of people who will now be Floyd fans.

Oh and to the Manny sympathizers, I love Manny Pacquiao, but that doesn't mean he can beat Floyd. Floyd is bigger, stronger, faster and better. Manny is more aggressive. That's four assets that can and will neutralize Manny if the fight ever occurs. Am I basing this on his performance against Mosley exclusively? No. I'm basing this on tonight's performance and the reality that Floyd didn't look smaller than Shane, which I thought would be the case.

Now does this mean I'm a Floyd Mayweather fan?

Simply put, no. The best thing Mayweather has brought to boxing is the 24/7 series which means that apart from bringing a reality TV motif to the sport, I could care less for his existence. As for the comments made by Mayweather upon his comeback, let me feel free to quote and react.

In case you didn't hear it when it happened... Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Leonard Ellerbe (his manager) stated two things... that the king is back and that boxing wasn't the same without Floyd Mayweather and they're right on both fronts.

The king of running his mouth was in fact back in the mix.

And secondly, I wholeheartedly agree that boxing wasn't the same without Floyd Mayweather...

It was better.

Cheers

Children get cancer but Glenn Beck lives.... go figure

Big government = Nazism or Communism

The level at which Glenn Beck can twist facts to form a point and convince you to anything he's saying is magnificent. Now that I've put that out there and probably made you think I didn't listen to three videos or read some news articles, here's where it gets interesting.

Glenn Beck does state facts. He does and that's why he's a lot more effective than purebred shit for brains like Newt Gingrich who does not have one single thread of credibility to anyone deciding to listen. He isn't the monumental racist shit bag that is Rush Limbaugh. No. He's another type of creature altogether, and quite a clever one if I might add.

Now before you think I won't give credit where credit is due, please read this. Glenn Beck might play the role of ignorant Conservative, but he isn't stupid. I'm not going to say he's brilliant either, but street smarts can get you a long way in this life, and being able to mix a couple of messages to sound coherent is something he's long done with varying levels of success.

On the Puerto Rico debate, he doesn't necessarily have all the facts.

What he does say that does make sense:

Puerto Rico has voted to determine the status three times and each and every time they found a way to vote those referendums down. That is a fact.

What he says that might make sense:

This vote seems to have a hidden agenda. Honestly and open mindedly speaking, Most votes do have an ulterior motive and this one seems like another one. I'm not disagreeing yet.

What he says that doesn't make sense:

Puerto Rico gets all of the benefits and pays none of the taxes. Well it all depends on what taxes you're talking about. It almost sounds as if you think Puerto Rico has gotten a free ride. First off, if we've gotten a "free ride" for so long what's the catch?

The reasons for having Puerto Rico as a US Territory are quite more than you would think, but rather than writing some things that may sound like pure conspiracy theories, let's number some possible reasons.

1. Military. Though a variety of bases have been closed, many remain. Having military presence in the Caribbean is a must and the only place the US was able to get into was Puerto Rico. By the way, if you think black people were used like cannon fodder in wars like Korea, WW 1 and WW2, by all means click here and draw your own conclusions. By the way, there are more sources, don't depend on wikipedia, me or Glenn Beck to get your truth sources.

2. There were tax credits for pharmaceutical companies. Read this for a possible explanation to why Puerto Rico, that little insignificant island of undecided Hispanics is the fifth largest producer of Pharmaceuticals in the world.

3. There are US sanctions that do not allow foreign companies to open shop in Puerto Rico. Why is this important? Simple, check the sales for JC Penney, Sears, the Victoria Secret Catalogue, Burger King, Maggie Moo's Ice Cream and Krispy Kreme and check if you don't see a trend. Just in case, in all of those instances, Puerto Rico numbers rank in the top 5 of sales for those companies worldwide. Puerto Rico is probably one of the most if not the most consumerist place in the world. People live on debt but they keep buying and by keeping other competitors out, you have a rich source of capital and just in case, no I'm not exaggerating and yes you can look for the numbers. I won't give you the source to that one so you don't think I'm simply leading you to the links I want you to read... that would be far too Beckian for my taste.

If you want some other miscellaneous possible reasons that may sound like hogwash, take note that the birth control pill and various forms of birth control (pills and procedures) were first experimented on Puerto Rican women. Second off, Puerto Rico consumes more beer than half the United States combined. It's not something a country should be proud of, but when it comes down to dollars and cents, boy those companies sure don't mind. Taxes were included before pricing to give the illusion that there is no tax in Puerto Rico. That has gone out the window though and the end result is PR having one of the highest tax rates when you factor in the pre retail price tax hike.

Now back to our clever Beck. Something he REALLY doesn't want people to know is that though we elect Republican representatives to the US Congress, because we do have that right, if Puerto Rico becomes a state, it's almost guaranteed that they'd vote democratic in US Presidential elections. Just in case you were wondering, we actually did have some say in the Democratic Nominee and if it were up to Puerto Rico, Hillary Clinton would have run for President.

Which brings me to my point. With the current political climate, Republicans really don't want to give Puerto Rico any power because that little island that could, would be a nightmare in terms of trying to convince them to vote Republican. Oh and by the way, Puerto Rico has an over 90% rate of voting... unlike the US which is closer to the mid 40's.

So does passing the bill give Puerto Rico statehood? In a short answer. Nope. Does the bill start leaning Puerto Rico towards choosing statehood? Possibly and I actually do agree that this is part of the agenda. Whether you're for it or against it, that's up to you. But is there something else that I do want to touch on? Of course.

Once again Beck plays the "this isn't a racial argument yet" but it is, and him mentioning the words illegals, drug dealers and prisoners in his argument is more than evidence. Now I'm not going to say Glenn Beck is Rush Limbaugh or Newt Gingrich, but I'm not going to say he's never played the racial card ever... I just really don't want this post to be that long. I'm just saying that the government and congress aren't the only ones with ulterior motives, hidden agendas and subliminal messages... after all, that's what Mr. Beck's career has been founded on.

Cheers