Jun 30, 2010
New Bullshit terminology alert!
Ready?
Set?
Go: Kaleidoscopic thinking.
Supposedly: thinking about a "problem" from different angles.
Honestly. Will we ever stop with this bullshit?
Come on, people. THIS is what makes us ad people a joke.
A sad, pathetic, joke.
Stop. Inventing. This. Crap.
Thank you.
Jun 29, 2010
5 Fantasy Careers that define: Me.
It's 9:37 and blasting on my TV is one of those movies that I simply love. Black Hawk Down. Here I am, watching it and thinking... shit, how I wish I was a Captain in the Military, dammit. Bingo. The five series continue, yes sir. Today let's go into the wonderful world of sheer fantasy careers that you are dead sure you are not qualified to be... but still have a hard on for them anyways.
In no particular order, I would give a testicle (if I had one) to be:
1) Navy Seals.
OOOOOh. Jesus Christ, just give me a weapon and someone to erase. That is one damn sexy job if you ask me. Besides, you have to be sharp, be in top shape and kick some serious butt. There's something elite about them that I love. Yummy.
2) Plastic Surgeon.
Now give me a scalpel and some guts to take off. I have no issues with blood or anything guts, so bring the suction on, guys.
3) New Technology Director at Google or some other cool company.
Give me the power of an unlimited budget and I will gladly design some killer things to make your life easier when it comes to technology. Yes, I am a total tech nerd and would give hard earned cash to learn to develop loads of shit in this department.
4) Hacker for Hire.
The power of information is priceless. Enough said.

5) Boxer.
How many times do you wish in a day you could just hit someone? Today I almost went berzerk a couple of times and trust me, a PPV with me going ape shit would sell. Hard core. (Hey Joker man, love the pic? LOL!)
There you go. My five dream jobs that I will never, ever be. What are yours?
In no particular order, I would give a testicle (if I had one) to be:
1) Navy Seals.
OOOOOh. Jesus Christ, just give me a weapon and someone to erase. That is one damn sexy job if you ask me. Besides, you have to be sharp, be in top shape and kick some serious butt. There's something elite about them that I love. Yummy.
2) Plastic Surgeon.
Now give me a scalpel and some guts to take off. I have no issues with blood or anything guts, so bring the suction on, guys.
3) New Technology Director at Google or some other cool company.
Give me the power of an unlimited budget and I will gladly design some killer things to make your life easier when it comes to technology. Yes, I am a total tech nerd and would give hard earned cash to learn to develop loads of shit in this department.
4) Hacker for Hire.
The power of information is priceless. Enough said.

5) Boxer.
How many times do you wish in a day you could just hit someone? Today I almost went berzerk a couple of times and trust me, a PPV with me going ape shit would sell. Hard core. (Hey Joker man, love the pic? LOL!)
There you go. My five dream jobs that I will never, ever be. What are yours?
Cute or Cruel?
- There’s a baby corral in your office because 9 times out of ten, you have to bring your 3-month baby to the office… Cute or Cruel?
- Your baby is more familiar with the old hags in the Traffic Dept. than they are with their aunties… Cute or Cruel?
- Your office fridge is stocked with formula and/or bottled breast milk… Cute or Cruel?
- Your 3-month old also spends Saturdays with you in the office… Cute or Cruel?
- Any woman over 30 in your office has the right to change your baby’s diaper… Cute or Cruel?
- Everyone laughs it up when your baby drools all over the conference table… Cute or Cruel?
App Review: Smule's Magic Piano ROCKS!
How come we review cds, websites and movies and we've never gone into the wonderful world of Apps? I mean... what were we thinking, huh? Well, let's start right now.
First app that I'll recommend: Smule's Magic Piano for the iPad.
This app will have you wasting HOURS of time and you will grin so much you might slobber all over your shiny iPad in no time. For all of you who are wondering what Magic Piano is, a couple of months ago I posted a video about a cool cat who was playing with it (second game) - here it is:
Watching the video, I wondered... damn. I miss playing piano. Maybe I should take a look at that thing to see if it's worth it. Trust me, it is worth the few bucks. You can play just random notes or if you are feeling Beethovenish, you can even play a decent song or two with their easy play mode. If you can remember the rhythm, you will sound like a master in a couple of seconds. Hours and hours will fly by and trust me, at the end of the day you will feel 100% Horowitz.
For more info, click here. Happy playing!
First app that I'll recommend: Smule's Magic Piano for the iPad.
This app will have you wasting HOURS of time and you will grin so much you might slobber all over your shiny iPad in no time. For all of you who are wondering what Magic Piano is, a couple of months ago I posted a video about a cool cat who was playing with it (second game) - here it is:
Watching the video, I wondered... damn. I miss playing piano. Maybe I should take a look at that thing to see if it's worth it. Trust me, it is worth the few bucks. You can play just random notes or if you are feeling Beethovenish, you can even play a decent song or two with their easy play mode. If you can remember the rhythm, you will sound like a master in a couple of seconds. Hours and hours will fly by and trust me, at the end of the day you will feel 100% Horowitz.
For more info, click here. Happy playing!
Miracle in Manhattan: the true story of the Taxi Cab Driver who returned my lost purse.
Sometimes we lose hope in mankind. We think all human beings are selfish and don't care about each other. Think about it. When was the last time you saw someone doing something good for another person? It doesn't happen all that much. Yes, some people do donate money to help others. Yes, I know people who give blood when someone needs it. But simple, normal acts of kindness are those that you seldom see.
That's what I thought the day I left my purse in a Manhattan Taxi Cab. I thought... I'm never seeing it again. Ladies and gentlemen, for your consideration: the story of the amazing cab driver. A really true story.
The last day of my trip. We had a blast, enjoyed the city as always. We even take the flight a little late so we can walk it just a couple of hours and enjoy being home one last time. We take the cab at 3pm. I get in and start listening to the cabbie's music. He has his native jams running, and we're digging it. In fact, we're so distracted by seeing the city one last time, we never notice how fast he got us to JFK.
My boyfriend and I leave the cab in a hurry. We want to upgrade to First Class, and anybody will tell you that those deals you have to get, asap when you get to the terminal or you will lose them to another lucky SOB.
So you can imagine my surprise when I move my hand to grab my purse, to get my credit cards in order to pay for the upgrade when it dawns on me. I don't have my purse.
My purse. My small purse with the following items inside it:
1) Cellular Phone
2) Two Major Credit Cards.
3) My Passport
4) My Boyfriends Passport
5) My license
6) My iPod touch, unlocked.
7) My Personal ATM Card
8) My Business ATM Card
9) The winner of the year: My Social Security Card!
Yeap. I just left my bag inside a Cab who is well on its way to Manhattan.
I start HOWLING. Yeah. Crying is not what I did. I howled. You will never, ever be able to understand the horror that this causes. Losing every single item of ID in one swoop, most of all if you are in an airport about to leave is the most frightening moment of your life. You feel so alone and useless. You are, according to the law... NO ONE.
We start running to every single place where the the taxi might be. Nothing. Since he dropped us by the curve and in a hurry, we never get his receipt. Hence, we don't have the taxi cab number, nor his name... not even his phone number.
I start feeling nausea. This man has every single item of my life. He can basically buy himself a house in a couple of hours if he wants to do it. He can take my credit cards and buy his wife all the diamond tiaras she wants. I cannot stop crying. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is calm. He's telling me... it's ok, we're going to do this. You'll see.
I have no faith in men whatsoever. I am certain I am in deep trouble. I cannot think...
I guess in a moment of crisis your brain acts up, the endorphins kick in gear and then... Bingo. I start yelling: call my cellular phone. He will be able to hear us!
My boyfriend is hitting redial like there is no tomorrow. 10 minutes go by. Nothing. 15 Minutes go by. Nothing. Our flight leaves at 6. It's 5pm. Nothing. I cannot believe this. I have the most loud ringtone ever (The Cure's Boys Don't Cry).
We call up the Taxi Cab Company. Can you page all taxi cabs at once? No. Sorry. If someone calls up with a lost bag, call in an hour to see... I'm already so drained from crying and feeling so scared, I just look up at my boyfriend one last time and tell him: call him one last time.
He picks up, 30 minutes before boarding. My boyfriend starts jumping. He's coming back! He actually asked us if we were ok! The man, believe it, asked my boyfriend if we were still on time to grab our flight and told him to stay exactly where he left us. He drove back. He. Drove. Back.
Everything was in my bag. Exactly as I left it. I started crying again from happiness. I threw kisses at him and repeated again and again how thankful we were. We took every single dollar bill that we had in our pockets and in my bag and gave it to him. The thing that kills me is that, I never got his name. There was no time, since the airline was right there helping us by driving us to the gate (they helped us a lot as well, mainly giving me hugs and telling me that they were going to let us fly anyways).
So... this post is for you, mystery Cab Driver from Manhattan. You are proof that there are good people, still in this world. You could just have shut off my phone and dropped my bag somewhere disgusting in New Jersey in the lost and found pile, never to be seen again and went along with your day. Maybe you could have sold my credit cards to someone who could have hacked them...
But you didn't. You took the time to drive back, speeding I might add, just so that we could make our flight and have all our belongings.
I am humbled by you. You have restored my faith in people in general. I will never forget your huge smile and all the laughs when I told you how happy you made me. You are a wonderful human being and an epic Taxi Driver.
Thank you, unknown cabbie. Much love. Me.
PS: Learn from my lesson. Never leave a Taxi Cab without their receipt and check that it has all their information. Travel with ID's in different bags so you can only lose part and not all of it at once. Lock with a passcode your iPod and iPad, since anyone can get your emails and data from it. If you lose them, call Apple and tell them to run the kill button. At least the next time someone connects to the internet they will be disabled. :-)
Oh yeah. Most importantly. Stop the Damn Leak, BP!
(Please share this post, if you can. I want this story to get to any NYC newspaper or media, if possible. If my Cabbie reads this, I will be very happy!)
That's what I thought the day I left my purse in a Manhattan Taxi Cab. I thought... I'm never seeing it again. Ladies and gentlemen, for your consideration: the story of the amazing cab driver. A really true story.
The last day of my trip. We had a blast, enjoyed the city as always. We even take the flight a little late so we can walk it just a couple of hours and enjoy being home one last time. We take the cab at 3pm. I get in and start listening to the cabbie's music. He has his native jams running, and we're digging it. In fact, we're so distracted by seeing the city one last time, we never notice how fast he got us to JFK.
My boyfriend and I leave the cab in a hurry. We want to upgrade to First Class, and anybody will tell you that those deals you have to get, asap when you get to the terminal or you will lose them to another lucky SOB.
So you can imagine my surprise when I move my hand to grab my purse, to get my credit cards in order to pay for the upgrade when it dawns on me. I don't have my purse.
My purse. My small purse with the following items inside it:
1) Cellular Phone
2) Two Major Credit Cards.
3) My Passport
4) My Boyfriends Passport
5) My license
6) My iPod touch, unlocked.
7) My Personal ATM Card
8) My Business ATM Card
9) The winner of the year: My Social Security Card!
Yeap. I just left my bag inside a Cab who is well on its way to Manhattan.
I start HOWLING. Yeah. Crying is not what I did. I howled. You will never, ever be able to understand the horror that this causes. Losing every single item of ID in one swoop, most of all if you are in an airport about to leave is the most frightening moment of your life. You feel so alone and useless. You are, according to the law... NO ONE.
We start running to every single place where the the taxi might be. Nothing. Since he dropped us by the curve and in a hurry, we never get his receipt. Hence, we don't have the taxi cab number, nor his name... not even his phone number.
I start feeling nausea. This man has every single item of my life. He can basically buy himself a house in a couple of hours if he wants to do it. He can take my credit cards and buy his wife all the diamond tiaras she wants. I cannot stop crying. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is calm. He's telling me... it's ok, we're going to do this. You'll see.
I have no faith in men whatsoever. I am certain I am in deep trouble. I cannot think...
I guess in a moment of crisis your brain acts up, the endorphins kick in gear and then... Bingo. I start yelling: call my cellular phone. He will be able to hear us!
My boyfriend is hitting redial like there is no tomorrow. 10 minutes go by. Nothing. 15 Minutes go by. Nothing. Our flight leaves at 6. It's 5pm. Nothing. I cannot believe this. I have the most loud ringtone ever (The Cure's Boys Don't Cry).
We call up the Taxi Cab Company. Can you page all taxi cabs at once? No. Sorry. If someone calls up with a lost bag, call in an hour to see... I'm already so drained from crying and feeling so scared, I just look up at my boyfriend one last time and tell him: call him one last time.
He picks up, 30 minutes before boarding. My boyfriend starts jumping. He's coming back! He actually asked us if we were ok! The man, believe it, asked my boyfriend if we were still on time to grab our flight and told him to stay exactly where he left us. He drove back. He. Drove. Back.
Everything was in my bag. Exactly as I left it. I started crying again from happiness. I threw kisses at him and repeated again and again how thankful we were. We took every single dollar bill that we had in our pockets and in my bag and gave it to him. The thing that kills me is that, I never got his name. There was no time, since the airline was right there helping us by driving us to the gate (they helped us a lot as well, mainly giving me hugs and telling me that they were going to let us fly anyways).
So... this post is for you, mystery Cab Driver from Manhattan. You are proof that there are good people, still in this world. You could just have shut off my phone and dropped my bag somewhere disgusting in New Jersey in the lost and found pile, never to be seen again and went along with your day. Maybe you could have sold my credit cards to someone who could have hacked them...
But you didn't. You took the time to drive back, speeding I might add, just so that we could make our flight and have all our belongings.
I am humbled by you. You have restored my faith in people in general. I will never forget your huge smile and all the laughs when I told you how happy you made me. You are a wonderful human being and an epic Taxi Driver.
Thank you, unknown cabbie. Much love. Me.
PS: Learn from my lesson. Never leave a Taxi Cab without their receipt and check that it has all their information. Travel with ID's in different bags so you can only lose part and not all of it at once. Lock with a passcode your iPod and iPad, since anyone can get your emails and data from it. If you lose them, call Apple and tell them to run the kill button. At least the next time someone connects to the internet they will be disabled. :-)
Oh yeah. Most importantly. Stop the Damn Leak, BP!
(Please share this post, if you can. I want this story to get to any NYC newspaper or media, if possible. If my Cabbie reads this, I will be very happy!)
Jun 28, 2010
5 Godfather Rules that define: Me.
I love the Godfather movies. Honest to God. Madly and deeply. My whole family loves it. We quote it a shitload of times during the year. Yeah. We are fans. How hard core? We're naming our first son Santino, the bad ass son. That hard core.
So last night we were having dinner and, since on Thursday and Friday it was Godfather night - we saw all of them back to back - we started talking about one single fact: every rule that you have to abide to in order to have a great life is in all of the three movies. Coppola and Puzo wrote three incredible scripts that, if you follow by heart, you will be able to survive anything. Don't believe me? Here, in no particular order are 5 gems to live by, according to the greatest family of all time, the Corleones.
1) Michael Corleone: "Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgement."
This by far is my mantra. If you want to win against anyone, you need to just stay focused on the prize, not the person in the way. Besides, hate clouds your thoughts in a really bad way and at the end you're useless.
2) Michael Corleone: "Keep your friends close but your enemies closer."
In life you need to KNOW EVERYTHING. Surprises, at least the ones that don't come with a cake or flowers, usually suck balls. Don't overestimate the power of information.
3) Michael Corleone: "Don't take sides against the family."
Loyalty. It does a body good.
4) Don Vito Corleone: "Never tell anyone outside the Family what you are thinking again."
OOOH this one is a gem: never just open your mouth without thinking, specially with people who you can't trust and you don't know.
5) Michael Corleone: "It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business."
We've done post after post about this line. It's never personal. Living a life under that law makes so much things easier, dammit. Your job? Business. Your coworkers being douchebags? Business. Your boss giving you shit? Business. You take anything personal and you will fail. You're NOT supposed to love your job all the time. You're NOT supposed to be friends with all the people at your job. I can go on and on...
So yeah. There are the rules to live by if you want to embrace the sicilian within. Capisce?
So last night we were having dinner and, since on Thursday and Friday it was Godfather night - we saw all of them back to back - we started talking about one single fact: every rule that you have to abide to in order to have a great life is in all of the three movies. Coppola and Puzo wrote three incredible scripts that, if you follow by heart, you will be able to survive anything. Don't believe me? Here, in no particular order are 5 gems to live by, according to the greatest family of all time, the Corleones.
1) Michael Corleone: "Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgement."
This by far is my mantra. If you want to win against anyone, you need to just stay focused on the prize, not the person in the way. Besides, hate clouds your thoughts in a really bad way and at the end you're useless.
2) Michael Corleone: "Keep your friends close but your enemies closer."
In life you need to KNOW EVERYTHING. Surprises, at least the ones that don't come with a cake or flowers, usually suck balls. Don't overestimate the power of information.
3) Michael Corleone: "Don't take sides against the family."
Loyalty. It does a body good.
4) Don Vito Corleone: "Never tell anyone outside the Family what you are thinking again."
OOOH this one is a gem: never just open your mouth without thinking, specially with people who you can't trust and you don't know.
5) Michael Corleone: "It's not personal, Sonny. It's strictly business."
We've done post after post about this line. It's never personal. Living a life under that law makes so much things easier, dammit. Your job? Business. Your coworkers being douchebags? Business. Your boss giving you shit? Business. You take anything personal and you will fail. You're NOT supposed to love your job all the time. You're NOT supposed to be friends with all the people at your job. I can go on and on...
So yeah. There are the rules to live by if you want to embrace the sicilian within. Capisce?
Jun 25, 2010
Dog sings to baby. Most awesome!
This is such a cool dog! Not like BP, who sucks donkey balls. STOP THE DAMN LEAK, BP!
Jun 24, 2010
Why Advertising Sucks: I couldn’t have said it better myself
From “e2”, a novel by Matt Beaumont, page 379
Situation: This is an inter office email from one friend to another. They both work in advertising. Here, Friend A has just successfully pitched a campaign idea and is bragging about how awesome he is. Friend B hits him this rude awakening:
“It’s [advertising] all bullocks. These precious moments of triumph we award ourselves, utter bullocks; self-serving sop to get us through a working day that would otherwise be futile drudgery. Face it, our lives are without merit. We just take from the world and give nothing back. We are leeches. That we read the Guardian and are appalled when something barbaric goes off in Gaza or the Congo, and that we choose dolphin-safe tuna and buy Fair Trade at Starbucks doesn’t mean a fucking thing. In fact, it makes us worse than the leeches that truly don’t give a fuck. At least they’re honest. We, on the other hand, are fraudulent hypocrites. We believe we can fool ourselves with the same lies we feed the world in our advertisements.
As yes, those ads – you know, the ones we sweat over, argue about and fight for as if they actually matter. Well, they do matter. In a bad way. They make us the standard bearers for the cunts that are raping every living, breathing thing on the planet.
We are their bitches.”
Situation: This is an inter office email from one friend to another. They both work in advertising. Here, Friend A has just successfully pitched a campaign idea and is bragging about how awesome he is. Friend B hits him this rude awakening:
“It’s [advertising] all bullocks. These precious moments of triumph we award ourselves, utter bullocks; self-serving sop to get us through a working day that would otherwise be futile drudgery. Face it, our lives are without merit. We just take from the world and give nothing back. We are leeches. That we read the Guardian and are appalled when something barbaric goes off in Gaza or the Congo, and that we choose dolphin-safe tuna and buy Fair Trade at Starbucks doesn’t mean a fucking thing. In fact, it makes us worse than the leeches that truly don’t give a fuck. At least they’re honest. We, on the other hand, are fraudulent hypocrites. We believe we can fool ourselves with the same lies we feed the world in our advertisements.
As yes, those ads – you know, the ones we sweat over, argue about and fight for as if they actually matter. Well, they do matter. In a bad way. They make us the standard bearers for the cunts that are raping every living, breathing thing on the planet.
We are their bitches.”
Jun 23, 2010
STOP THE LEAK, BP!
I think it's time. Yep. Checked my watch, we're due. The WAS CHALLENGE is back on. I think it's time to write BP new slogans. Since all around the world people are shitting on their logo, I think we should join in and blast them as well, don't you think? If you are interested in sending us your lines, please for the love of God write (that email doesn't get ANY shit at all!).
My promise is that I will post your lines and link to any blog, Facebook or Twitter account if you want. Ah, and to make your life easier, if you need BP's logo, here's the link!
Not inclined to write slogans but want to design? Send us your BP fucked up Logo versions and we will gladly post them as well. Send ANYTHING! Our email: adssuck@gmail.com.
And remember, for the daily Live leak stream you can visit WAS any time of the day and click in the upper right corner. I will leave it there until those douchebags buttfucks finally stop this damn leak.
Hey BP! You suck!
I hate Twilight. Really.
Dear Readers: I started this post a couple of months ago and never got to finish it. Tonight, the idiot Twihards have given me reason to take my time and end this post... with a bang. Enjoy.
Part 1: When I started the post, I stumbled upon this gem:
After watching this amazing clip of video, I decided to express my disgust of the most disturbing "fad" right now around the world. The Twilight Saga.
I cannot remember the last time one movie made me so angry that I watched it. Reasons? Many. I was angry that I wasted my time. I was angry that I chose that movie and not ANY other film from Netflix, so I wasted days until something decent came back. I was angry that I had even wasted gasoline driving to my UPS store so I could mail it back...
I thought all those times that I've gone to Comic Conventions. Then I got even more angry. Twilight fans are the worst. They get in line for hours, not wanting to see anything else BUT Twilight related shit. Ask the San Diego Comic Con fans about them and you will get a rant about how much they annoy people in general and how they have affected attendance in some way.
But. Most of all, angry at the fact that I know that many young women are eating this crap up. So, to all the parents out there that are letting young kids watch this turd of a movie, let's give you the basics.
Girl moves to Dad town. Girl meets creepy white guy in school. Creepy white guy is a douche. Girl insists on knowing such douche. Douche gets interested. Other Mullet wearing dude likes girl. Creepy white guy turns to be a "vampire". Girl has no problem. Vampire will not bite girl. Girl gets in trouble, vampire douche saves her. End of boring story.
Insert in that really basic plot as much cliche moments, really stupid lines and amazingly bad acting.
Yeah, sure. Bad acting happens every day, right? We've all seen bad movies! Sure, you got a point. But this movie is not only really bad for you and your grey cells. Twilight teaches women to be absolute wimps! While some people will think that it's about romance, I call bullshit. Not so.
This movie has a main character who at one point in the movie said that living without her high school sweetheart is not an option. Yeah. Go ahead and kill yourself if the one you love can't be with you. Great! Can you make a franchise of tshirts, dvd's, books and other crap things to really get the message home? Thank you. Teach young women that they NEED to depend on men. That losing the one you love is unthinkable. LOVELY.
While your kids tell you that it's just a romantic movie, it's not. The characters are creepy in a not so cool way. There's one thing when it's chick flick romantic, there's another thing when young lovers are portrayed this way. There's a sort of obsession that is not healthy for teenagers. At that age, you don't know shit about love. Fuck! I know people in their thirties who still don't know squat about a healthy relationship!
The actors are awful. Just... Bad. Overacted. Creepy. Sad. The story makes absolutely no sense and is a total waste of time, even if you are thirteen years old. The thing that baffles me is the fact that people from all ages are eating this crap up. I went to my dermatologist the other day and one of the nurses, who has to be like 45 years old, was ranting about Team Jacob. I almost walked off and found myself a new doc.
Look. I sat down and watched it completely. I was thinking that it had to be good, because I could not believe that thousands of people are nuts for this without a reason... Well, I don't get it. Can someone explain this to me?
Part two: Today I saw this.
And this gets me even more riled up. Adults. Are. Camping. For. 3. Days. To see this crap! Really? Come on, human beings all around the world! WHAT IS GOING ON!? This cannot be the movie of a generation! Vampires? Shirtless dudes that turn to wolves?
WTF is going on??????
Part 1: When I started the post, I stumbled upon this gem:
After watching this amazing clip of video, I decided to express my disgust of the most disturbing "fad" right now around the world. The Twilight Saga.
I cannot remember the last time one movie made me so angry that I watched it. Reasons? Many. I was angry that I wasted my time. I was angry that I chose that movie and not ANY other film from Netflix, so I wasted days until something decent came back. I was angry that I had even wasted gasoline driving to my UPS store so I could mail it back...
I thought all those times that I've gone to Comic Conventions. Then I got even more angry. Twilight fans are the worst. They get in line for hours, not wanting to see anything else BUT Twilight related shit. Ask the San Diego Comic Con fans about them and you will get a rant about how much they annoy people in general and how they have affected attendance in some way.
But. Most of all, angry at the fact that I know that many young women are eating this crap up. So, to all the parents out there that are letting young kids watch this turd of a movie, let's give you the basics.
Girl moves to Dad town. Girl meets creepy white guy in school. Creepy white guy is a douche. Girl insists on knowing such douche. Douche gets interested. Other Mullet wearing dude likes girl. Creepy white guy turns to be a "vampire". Girl has no problem. Vampire will not bite girl. Girl gets in trouble, vampire douche saves her. End of boring story.
Insert in that really basic plot as much cliche moments, really stupid lines and amazingly bad acting.
Yeah, sure. Bad acting happens every day, right? We've all seen bad movies! Sure, you got a point. But this movie is not only really bad for you and your grey cells. Twilight teaches women to be absolute wimps! While some people will think that it's about romance, I call bullshit. Not so.
This movie has a main character who at one point in the movie said that living without her high school sweetheart is not an option. Yeah. Go ahead and kill yourself if the one you love can't be with you. Great! Can you make a franchise of tshirts, dvd's, books and other crap things to really get the message home? Thank you. Teach young women that they NEED to depend on men. That losing the one you love is unthinkable. LOVELY.
While your kids tell you that it's just a romantic movie, it's not. The characters are creepy in a not so cool way. There's one thing when it's chick flick romantic, there's another thing when young lovers are portrayed this way. There's a sort of obsession that is not healthy for teenagers. At that age, you don't know shit about love. Fuck! I know people in their thirties who still don't know squat about a healthy relationship!
The actors are awful. Just... Bad. Overacted. Creepy. Sad. The story makes absolutely no sense and is a total waste of time, even if you are thirteen years old. The thing that baffles me is the fact that people from all ages are eating this crap up. I went to my dermatologist the other day and one of the nurses, who has to be like 45 years old, was ranting about Team Jacob. I almost walked off and found myself a new doc.
Look. I sat down and watched it completely. I was thinking that it had to be good, because I could not believe that thousands of people are nuts for this without a reason... Well, I don't get it. Can someone explain this to me?
Part two: Today I saw this.
And this gets me even more riled up. Adults. Are. Camping. For. 3. Days. To see this crap! Really? Come on, human beings all around the world! WHAT IS GOING ON!? This cannot be the movie of a generation! Vampires? Shirtless dudes that turn to wolves?
WTF is going on??????
Jun 22, 2010
Jun 21, 2010
Jun 19, 2010
Jun 18, 2010
Spam + blogger = mega douche
Colon troll... butt nugget... shit for brains... asshole... douche scum.... all of these words and many more pale into comparison to what I think of spammers.
You see, time share salespeople and those perfume shooting whores at department stores should be bad enough, and they actually do serve some type of a purpose. But when you make a living off polluting mailboxes (virtual and real life), invading facebook profiles and yes, even leaving comments on a blog, you truly show that right beneath your bung hole, there is nothing else except a bar code. There is no level too low to stoop and you have a price... and it isn't too high by the way.
After writing on a blog for a couple of years, few things satisfy you more than writing a more than deccent post and having people comment. It means that what you wrote mattered enough to someone else that they were nice enough to drop a kudos... so imagine the frustration when something you write with a lot of love suddenly gets spammed.
I consider it the equivalent to doing a good job on a project at work and having someone from maintenance who's been working a full day on garbage detail teabag your forehead. It's more or less the same in terms of offensive and unnecesary to say the least so imagine my joy everytime some shit for brains, let's call him Joe Gray, decides to pop in and benefit in his spam business by teabagging my post.
To that I would simply say fuck you Joe. Fuck you and whatever social media spam efforts you conduct in order to "earn" a crummy dollar. You suck more than a black hole, you redefine sucking actually and I know you are hated for it. I know a $23 Jersey Shore haircut, self tanning lotion and musky cologne is your calling card and I know you masturbate while watching Kids Incorporated reruns.
May your pathetic corpse rot in some dung beetle farm and may your balls itch each and every time you post a spam on another person's property.
No cheers for you fuck face.
You see, time share salespeople and those perfume shooting whores at department stores should be bad enough, and they actually do serve some type of a purpose. But when you make a living off polluting mailboxes (virtual and real life), invading facebook profiles and yes, even leaving comments on a blog, you truly show that right beneath your bung hole, there is nothing else except a bar code. There is no level too low to stoop and you have a price... and it isn't too high by the way.
After writing on a blog for a couple of years, few things satisfy you more than writing a more than deccent post and having people comment. It means that what you wrote mattered enough to someone else that they were nice enough to drop a kudos... so imagine the frustration when something you write with a lot of love suddenly gets spammed.
I consider it the equivalent to doing a good job on a project at work and having someone from maintenance who's been working a full day on garbage detail teabag your forehead. It's more or less the same in terms of offensive and unnecesary to say the least so imagine my joy everytime some shit for brains, let's call him Joe Gray, decides to pop in and benefit in his spam business by teabagging my post.
To that I would simply say fuck you Joe. Fuck you and whatever social media spam efforts you conduct in order to "earn" a crummy dollar. You suck more than a black hole, you redefine sucking actually and I know you are hated for it. I know a $23 Jersey Shore haircut, self tanning lotion and musky cologne is your calling card and I know you masturbate while watching Kids Incorporated reruns.
May your pathetic corpse rot in some dung beetle farm and may your balls itch each and every time you post a spam on another person's property.
No cheers for you fuck face.
Jun 17, 2010
Jun 16, 2010
Something to smile at
Carpet, cardboard, or plain bed sheets... a wave can be anywhere and I'd surf them all.
Cheers.
Jun 15, 2010
Why Art & Copy made me feel ashamed of working in advertising.
First of all, read two posts down if you are starting on this one. It's important, since my good man RestrictionsApply just basically ripped this documentary a new one. When you are finished, come back to me. Thank you for shopping at WAS.
*Waiting for you to read Restriction's Post*
Ok, you done? Bravo. Let's continue the conversation. The same thing with me. I even streamed the darn film because I wanted to see what the fuss was about. I mean. A documentary about working in this business? Whoa! About damn time! I was very curious.
Fuck. Was I disappointed.
Art & Copy is one of those movies that just simply miss the mark, terribly. Why? Oh, I'm going to TRY to be brief, since when I finished I went into an anger rampage that continued over 48 hours. So let me give you my beef, if you will.
What was I expecting that I would see in this film? Reality.
Working in this crap business is really tough. Your brain fries itself at least three or four times a year. And bad. Really bad. You think so much, you look at every nook and cranny of every idea you get wasted at some point. The long hours. The insane lifestyle of alcohol. The people who get paid shit. The people who stay there and work for three days without leaving the office. I wanted to see the good and the ugly.
NOTHING, not a single side of any of those ugly things about advertising were shown! It's like that's the bastard side of the biz and no one accepts it! WTF!
By some sort of magic, the film convinces average joes that this is fun all the time and that we enjoy every damn second of it. More insulting is the fact that by watching this film you sort of get that clients approve every damn idea that comes their way. NOT TRUE! Oh and don't get me started on budgets! Sure Fucko, you can do amazing campaigns with millions of dollars. Try 50k buttmuncher! Let's see you congratulating your ass for an average typographic campaign!
The most amazing and really scary thing about this movie is... ad people are old and still are doing this crap. 50 year old after 50 year old, talking about how amazing their old campaigns were (anything new, guys? Um... nope) and how they still are enjoying this business. WHY ARE YOU NOT RETIRING? Have any of you seen your kids? Your husbands? I refuse to end up like you, getting a damn brief and starting that old boring cycle. Jesus. How uninspiring that is!
Another beef? The basketball court, the rockband nights, the cute and creative offices. Yeah. That shit works when you are twenty years old. You drink the Kool Aid a bit and suddenly you think it's so cool to be at a company where some idiotic sport is not a problem. But the movie does not tell the average person that this is all to make you work harder, stay longer...I can bet you all the money that I have that these places are not being used. Movie purposes, sure. Cut and everybody just went to their cubicles to find that witty and engaging line of header.
Old Ads! How can I forget! Really old ads! Like RestrictionsApply said in his post, this movie is chockful of old campaigns that were cool at that time... but really, we kind of get it now. If someone else tells me how cool the 1984 Mac ad, I will take out my ovaries with a Magic Bullet. Don't make me, dammit!
Wait. If this is a documentary... where is the chapter on how to get creative, how to develop and evolve your thought process... What do you need to stay in shape upstairs in that grey matter? What do we need to read, write, paint, hear? NOTHING! You get absolutely nothing. It's "I'm amazing, I did this shit and that shit, my agency is the bomb and I have a bigger donger than anyone else. Oh and every other advertising that my agency DOESN'T do, sucks balls."
Well, you know what? Fuck. You. Many people don't have the millions to do any of those old campaigns. Or even the new ones. There are thousands of us who are working with peanuts for a budget and still make it possible to sell. Sometimes we are creative. Sometimes we suck. But both times, we sell. And the great part is? We're doing this so we can make some dough and we can retire, because WE DON'T want to end up like you, rotting in your very creative office with a view. Oh! And some of us don't really need to play frisbee or tune up the Rock Band... because we want to work so we can leave early. What a novel idea, right?
Look. At the end of the day, there are two reactions to this film. No grey lines. If you love it, by all means, enjoy the feeling. This means you really really love what you do, and that's admirable. It can also mean that maybe you are starting out and have much experiences left to live. Nice. Go forth and conquer and see you in 20 years.
If you hated it... welcome to our club of people who really really know... we're not curing cancer, we're not making art. It's just an ad. It's just a job. Period.
*Waiting for you to read Restriction's Post*
Ok, you done? Bravo. Let's continue the conversation. The same thing with me. I even streamed the darn film because I wanted to see what the fuss was about. I mean. A documentary about working in this business? Whoa! About damn time! I was very curious.
Fuck. Was I disappointed.
Art & Copy is one of those movies that just simply miss the mark, terribly. Why? Oh, I'm going to TRY to be brief, since when I finished I went into an anger rampage that continued over 48 hours. So let me give you my beef, if you will.
What was I expecting that I would see in this film? Reality.
Working in this crap business is really tough. Your brain fries itself at least three or four times a year. And bad. Really bad. You think so much, you look at every nook and cranny of every idea you get wasted at some point. The long hours. The insane lifestyle of alcohol. The people who get paid shit. The people who stay there and work for three days without leaving the office. I wanted to see the good and the ugly.
NOTHING, not a single side of any of those ugly things about advertising were shown! It's like that's the bastard side of the biz and no one accepts it! WTF!
By some sort of magic, the film convinces average joes that this is fun all the time and that we enjoy every damn second of it. More insulting is the fact that by watching this film you sort of get that clients approve every damn idea that comes their way. NOT TRUE! Oh and don't get me started on budgets! Sure Fucko, you can do amazing campaigns with millions of dollars. Try 50k buttmuncher! Let's see you congratulating your ass for an average typographic campaign!
The most amazing and really scary thing about this movie is... ad people are old and still are doing this crap. 50 year old after 50 year old, talking about how amazing their old campaigns were (anything new, guys? Um... nope) and how they still are enjoying this business. WHY ARE YOU NOT RETIRING? Have any of you seen your kids? Your husbands? I refuse to end up like you, getting a damn brief and starting that old boring cycle. Jesus. How uninspiring that is!
Another beef? The basketball court, the rockband nights, the cute and creative offices. Yeah. That shit works when you are twenty years old. You drink the Kool Aid a bit and suddenly you think it's so cool to be at a company where some idiotic sport is not a problem. But the movie does not tell the average person that this is all to make you work harder, stay longer...I can bet you all the money that I have that these places are not being used. Movie purposes, sure. Cut and everybody just went to their cubicles to find that witty and engaging line of header.
Old Ads! How can I forget! Really old ads! Like RestrictionsApply said in his post, this movie is chockful of old campaigns that were cool at that time... but really, we kind of get it now. If someone else tells me how cool the 1984 Mac ad, I will take out my ovaries with a Magic Bullet. Don't make me, dammit!
Wait. If this is a documentary... where is the chapter on how to get creative, how to develop and evolve your thought process... What do you need to stay in shape upstairs in that grey matter? What do we need to read, write, paint, hear? NOTHING! You get absolutely nothing. It's "I'm amazing, I did this shit and that shit, my agency is the bomb and I have a bigger donger than anyone else. Oh and every other advertising that my agency DOESN'T do, sucks balls."
Well, you know what? Fuck. You. Many people don't have the millions to do any of those old campaigns. Or even the new ones. There are thousands of us who are working with peanuts for a budget and still make it possible to sell. Sometimes we are creative. Sometimes we suck. But both times, we sell. And the great part is? We're doing this so we can make some dough and we can retire, because WE DON'T want to end up like you, rotting in your very creative office with a view. Oh! And some of us don't really need to play frisbee or tune up the Rock Band... because we want to work so we can leave early. What a novel idea, right?
Look. At the end of the day, there are two reactions to this film. No grey lines. If you love it, by all means, enjoy the feeling. This means you really really love what you do, and that's admirable. It can also mean that maybe you are starting out and have much experiences left to live. Nice. Go forth and conquer and see you in 20 years.
If you hated it... welcome to our club of people who really really know... we're not curing cancer, we're not making art. It's just an ad. It's just a job. Period.
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