Aug 31, 2010
Aug 29, 2010
Sunday Playlists: Baby Making Music
Ah...... the beauty of a good shag. Face it people, sometimes you feel like a pornstar, and though you should never ever tape yourself making whooppee... you know you like a sweet beat to get them juices flowing. Here's my list, feel free to add yours. :D
1. Josh Stone – The Chokin Kind
If you want smooth luscious pelvic grooveness, you NEED this song on your playlist.
2. Norah Jones – Come Away with me
If you like to get frisky on a Sunday, have Norah tag along. Trust me. By the way, does Norah Jones have any idea how many children have been born thanks to her music? Hmmm.
3. Kruder & Dorfmeister – Original Bedroom Rockers
Tell me this song doesn't make you want to slip into something more comfortable. >:)
4. Nine Inch Nails – Closer
Now this is some dirty, raunchy, let-me-tell-you-what-I-want-so-you-can-do-me-like-i-need-it music. High heels? Leather? Lace? Bondage? Toys? Or just a plain good rump. Name your poison, click play and have fun kiddies.
5. Brian McKnight - Anytime
This song is atypical for me at best... but MAN does it work. :D
6. Sade – Cherish the day
Simply put, if Sade were any sexier, men would spontaneously combust a nut in their shorts. Tell me this song doesn't make you think of shoulder biting. Friggin chilllssssssssssssss
7. Sting – A thousand days
Sting does tantric sex... this is part of his soundtrack. Nuff said.
8. Fiona Apple – Criminal
If Fiona Apple actually ate, she'd be one of the hottest women in existence. This song however, is NOT affected by her lack of weight and it's just another one of those songs to have an impromptu romp.
9. Fluke – Atom Bomb
Techno humping booyaa... I'd actually pick the track Absurd over this one, but I only find remixes.
10. Tori Amos – Abnormally attracted to sin
Strip... tease... play... repeat. :)
11. Portishead – Glory box
Somehow I suspect a lot of people have enjoyed being tied up to this song.
12. Miles Davis – Blue in Green
Ah..... Miles.... you just NEED Miles if you want to get down. Entire populations have come about to this song.
13. Miles Davis – Flamenco Sketches
People have forgotten to take their time with the great things in life. Simply put, some things you can't rush. Especially those that are done while listening to this song.
14. Songs by Prince
Since I don't want to be sued, I won't mention any particular song but that little guitar playing nymph knows how to make a good fuck song. :D
15. Massive Attack – Angel
You know that feeling when you've had too much to drink and don't want to go to sleep... this is the song you put on.
16. Telepopmusik – Just Breathe
Intimacy includes caressing, kissing, taking your time... and breathing the experience. Follow the lyrics and just enjoy it.
17. Led Zepplin – Since I’ve been lovin’ you
Led Zeppeling has such an utterly complete catalogue that they even have a song you'd be proud to procreate to.
18. A Perfect circle – When the Levees break
With a song like this, it could be flooding and you wouldn't stop. And you shouldn't.
19. Monster Magnet – Space Lord
This is a song to fuck like a pornstar to. Strippers probably love it as well. Just make sure to wear leather.
20. Soda Stereo - La Ciudad de la Furia MTV Unplugged version
Get a babysitter.... tonight. :D
1. Josh Stone – The Chokin Kind
If you want smooth luscious pelvic grooveness, you NEED this song on your playlist.
2. Norah Jones – Come Away with me
If you like to get frisky on a Sunday, have Norah tag along. Trust me. By the way, does Norah Jones have any idea how many children have been born thanks to her music? Hmmm.
3. Kruder & Dorfmeister – Original Bedroom Rockers
Tell me this song doesn't make you want to slip into something more comfortable. >:)
4. Nine Inch Nails – Closer
Now this is some dirty, raunchy, let-me-tell-you-what-I-want-so-you-can-do-me-like-i-need-it music. High heels? Leather? Lace? Bondage? Toys? Or just a plain good rump. Name your poison, click play and have fun kiddies.
5. Brian McKnight - Anytime
This song is atypical for me at best... but MAN does it work. :D
6. Sade – Cherish the day
Simply put, if Sade were any sexier, men would spontaneously combust a nut in their shorts. Tell me this song doesn't make you think of shoulder biting. Friggin chilllssssssssssssss
7. Sting – A thousand days
Sting does tantric sex... this is part of his soundtrack. Nuff said.
8. Fiona Apple – Criminal
If Fiona Apple actually ate, she'd be one of the hottest women in existence. This song however, is NOT affected by her lack of weight and it's just another one of those songs to have an impromptu romp.
9. Fluke – Atom Bomb
Techno humping booyaa... I'd actually pick the track Absurd over this one, but I only find remixes.
10. Tori Amos – Abnormally attracted to sin
Strip... tease... play... repeat. :)
11. Portishead – Glory box
Somehow I suspect a lot of people have enjoyed being tied up to this song.
12. Miles Davis – Blue in Green
Ah..... Miles.... you just NEED Miles if you want to get down. Entire populations have come about to this song.
13. Miles Davis – Flamenco Sketches
People have forgotten to take their time with the great things in life. Simply put, some things you can't rush. Especially those that are done while listening to this song.
14. Songs by Prince
Since I don't want to be sued, I won't mention any particular song but that little guitar playing nymph knows how to make a good fuck song. :D
15. Massive Attack – Angel
You know that feeling when you've had too much to drink and don't want to go to sleep... this is the song you put on.
16. Telepopmusik – Just Breathe
Intimacy includes caressing, kissing, taking your time... and breathing the experience. Follow the lyrics and just enjoy it.
17. Led Zepplin – Since I’ve been lovin’ you
Led Zeppeling has such an utterly complete catalogue that they even have a song you'd be proud to procreate to.
18. A Perfect circle – When the Levees break
With a song like this, it could be flooding and you wouldn't stop. And you shouldn't.
19. Monster Magnet – Space Lord
This is a song to fuck like a pornstar to. Strippers probably love it as well. Just make sure to wear leather.
20. Soda Stereo - La Ciudad de la Furia MTV Unplugged version
Get a babysitter.... tonight. :D
Aug 25, 2010
Aug 24, 2010
Namaste. The bill will be $47,500
Well, Profiles in History with ABC just finished their two-day "LOST" THE OFFICIAL SHOW AUCTION. Yup, all the cool stuff from the show went up for sale, and the bids came and went. Here is the final tally. Enjoy.
• DHARMA Van: $47,500
• Dial mechanism & mirror array from the Lighthouse: $27,500
• Island time-shifting frozen wheel: $22,500
• DHARMA Jeep: $20,000
• Hurley's Camaro: $20,000
• Daniel Faraday's journal w/extensive handwritten notes: $20,000
• Swan Station Computer: $16,000
• "Pilot" script signed by J.J. Abrams & Damon Lindelof $15,000
• Desmond's fail-safe key with "Joe Inman" dog tag; $11,000
• Jack's death costume from the series finale, "The End": $9,000
• Large section of Oceanic Flight 815 wreckage: $9,000
• Charlie's "DS" ring: $9,000
• Locke's Compass: $8,000
• Baby Aaron's crib: $8,000
• Fragment of Jacob's tapestry: $6,500
• Jack's Pilot episode costume" $3,000
• Sawyer's improvised reading glasses from Season Three: $2,250
Damn. I miss Carlin.
Hey Georgie... Just writing to tell you how much I miss you and hope that your shows at Heaven are sold out.
Aug 22, 2010
Sunday playlist August 22 edition
I can't deny that making playlists has always been something I've enjoyed and until 2 years ago, I had a tape player in my car and loved it... except when it acted up. Hope you have a stellar Sunday.
Cheers
1. Paul Simon – The Obvious Child
Paul Simon has soooo much music in his catalogue that just picking any one song makes you feel like an ass. So here's me making an ass out of myself and picking a song out of The Rhythm of the Saints album to start off the playlist.
2. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Impression that I Get
I've gone to a ton of live shows in my life and one of the most fun was The Bosstones in 97.. Dancing ska on one leg because I had a cast on the other was actually super fun.
3. Donovan - Beat Café
Off an album that was a true departure from his earlier work, Donovan serves up some lovely licks on this track and the entire album.
4. Van Morrison - Astral Weeks
People say Bob Dylan is the greatest singer songwriter of all time. That's not a bold statement, it's pretty much a fact but I still can't help finding myself picking Van to put on my stereo more often. Simply put, Astral Weeks is probably one of the 20 best albums I've ever heard. I actually got to know Van Morrison through a very old friend that means the world to me, even after years of not talking. She introduced me to Jack Johnson, Van Morrison and some other classics. Though we've lost touch, a slice of her stayed with this great music. So Cheers Louise, hope life is treating you well.
5. Ibrahim Ferrer and Cachaito - Wahira
If I were 10% as cool as these cats when I get to their age, I would have accomplished a lot.
6. CB4 - Sweat of my balls
Funny Joker fact, the CB4 Soundtrack album was the first CD I ever bought with my own money. Still cracks me up and still one of the better soundtracks I've bought.
7. Pink Floyd - The Scarecrow
Syd Barret was out of his mind, but lyrically in the nicest way. Pipers at the Gates of Dawn is probably my fourth favorite Floyd album behind The Wall, Darkside of the Moon and Echoes. Plus, it's a hell of a lot less heavy. Here's the Scarecrow.
8. Peter Tosh - Equal Rights
Peter was only second to Bob Marley when it comes to epic reggae. Here's one of his best songs.
9. K's Choice - Breakfast
Something tells me I'll be living these lyrics sometime in my life and that some people can relate. Listen and pay attention to the lyrics.
10. Smashing Pumpkins - 1979
Ah.... the good days when I wasn't embarassed to say that Smashing Pumpkins was one of my favorite bands. What the hell is going with Billy Corgan btw?
11. Burning Spear - Old Marcus Garvey
Flashback to 1995... on my way to surf while my brother puts on more awesome reggae than I could have ever found on my own. There is no Winston Rodney... there is only Burning Spear and this is my favorite song from them. BTW, if you want to know who Marcus Garvey was click here.
12. Ruben Blades - Parao
The dynamics between siblings are a complicated thing. There's love, there's conflict, there's clashing because we're so much alike. My eldest brother is one of the smartest people I've ever met and also one of the more complicated, but when my middle brother was going through one of the toughest times this family has ever endured, the eldest said this song reminded him of my middle brother... And in a nutshell, it was his way of telling him that he could deal with any adversity. It's funny how sometimes a song from someone else can communicate one's feelings better than could ever do so.
13. Beastie Boys - I don't Know
A little known BB song pretty much no one would ever guess was from them. Just goes to show, greatest hits and compilation albums blow because we'd miss random gems like this one. :D
14. Moby - Porcelain
The song was played to death... but now that some time has passed, we are free to enjoy it again.
15. Black Crowes - Soul Singing
Care for your soul and let it sing people.
16. Robi Draco Rosa - Esto es Vida
Every day I love my fiancée even more and though the video is at best odd, this song makes me think of her... and only her. I love you and though I know you know it, it never hurts to remind you every time I get the chance. The song means, this is life... and I can't help but agree.
17. Weezer - Island in the Sun
Off their green album, this is definitely a good song to chill and smile to.
18. Breeders - Cannonball
I love the breeders and so should you. :D Memories from the 90's. Ahhhh... bliss. :D
19. Pearl Jam - Just Breathe
Every time I listen to a new Pearl Jam album, I turn off my cell phone, I put my stereo on pretty loud and turn off the lights... This song also made me cry.
20. Billy Idol - White Wedding
"Don't you talk to Billy Idol that way!" - one of my favorite Sandler quotes. By the way, I think this is one of my favorite VH1 Storytellers ever.
Cheers
1. Paul Simon – The Obvious Child
Paul Simon has soooo much music in his catalogue that just picking any one song makes you feel like an ass. So here's me making an ass out of myself and picking a song out of The Rhythm of the Saints album to start off the playlist.
2. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - The Impression that I Get
I've gone to a ton of live shows in my life and one of the most fun was The Bosstones in 97.. Dancing ska on one leg because I had a cast on the other was actually super fun.
3. Donovan - Beat Café
Off an album that was a true departure from his earlier work, Donovan serves up some lovely licks on this track and the entire album.
4. Van Morrison - Astral Weeks
People say Bob Dylan is the greatest singer songwriter of all time. That's not a bold statement, it's pretty much a fact but I still can't help finding myself picking Van to put on my stereo more often. Simply put, Astral Weeks is probably one of the 20 best albums I've ever heard. I actually got to know Van Morrison through a very old friend that means the world to me, even after years of not talking. She introduced me to Jack Johnson, Van Morrison and some other classics. Though we've lost touch, a slice of her stayed with this great music. So Cheers Louise, hope life is treating you well.
5. Ibrahim Ferrer and Cachaito - Wahira
If I were 10% as cool as these cats when I get to their age, I would have accomplished a lot.
6. CB4 - Sweat of my balls
Funny Joker fact, the CB4 Soundtrack album was the first CD I ever bought with my own money. Still cracks me up and still one of the better soundtracks I've bought.
7. Pink Floyd - The Scarecrow
Syd Barret was out of his mind, but lyrically in the nicest way. Pipers at the Gates of Dawn is probably my fourth favorite Floyd album behind The Wall, Darkside of the Moon and Echoes. Plus, it's a hell of a lot less heavy. Here's the Scarecrow.
8. Peter Tosh - Equal Rights
Peter was only second to Bob Marley when it comes to epic reggae. Here's one of his best songs.
9. K's Choice - Breakfast
Something tells me I'll be living these lyrics sometime in my life and that some people can relate. Listen and pay attention to the lyrics.
10. Smashing Pumpkins - 1979
Ah.... the good days when I wasn't embarassed to say that Smashing Pumpkins was one of my favorite bands. What the hell is going with Billy Corgan btw?
11. Burning Spear - Old Marcus Garvey
Flashback to 1995... on my way to surf while my brother puts on more awesome reggae than I could have ever found on my own. There is no Winston Rodney... there is only Burning Spear and this is my favorite song from them. BTW, if you want to know who Marcus Garvey was click here.
12. Ruben Blades - Parao
The dynamics between siblings are a complicated thing. There's love, there's conflict, there's clashing because we're so much alike. My eldest brother is one of the smartest people I've ever met and also one of the more complicated, but when my middle brother was going through one of the toughest times this family has ever endured, the eldest said this song reminded him of my middle brother... And in a nutshell, it was his way of telling him that he could deal with any adversity. It's funny how sometimes a song from someone else can communicate one's feelings better than could ever do so.
13. Beastie Boys - I don't Know
A little known BB song pretty much no one would ever guess was from them. Just goes to show, greatest hits and compilation albums blow because we'd miss random gems like this one. :D
14. Moby - Porcelain
The song was played to death... but now that some time has passed, we are free to enjoy it again.
15. Black Crowes - Soul Singing
Care for your soul and let it sing people.
16. Robi Draco Rosa - Esto es Vida
Every day I love my fiancée even more and though the video is at best odd, this song makes me think of her... and only her. I love you and though I know you know it, it never hurts to remind you every time I get the chance. The song means, this is life... and I can't help but agree.
17. Weezer - Island in the Sun
Off their green album, this is definitely a good song to chill and smile to.
18. Breeders - Cannonball
I love the breeders and so should you. :D Memories from the 90's. Ahhhh... bliss. :D
19. Pearl Jam - Just Breathe
Every time I listen to a new Pearl Jam album, I turn off my cell phone, I put my stereo on pretty loud and turn off the lights... This song also made me cry.
20. Billy Idol - White Wedding
"Don't you talk to Billy Idol that way!" - one of my favorite Sandler quotes. By the way, I think this is one of my favorite VH1 Storytellers ever.
Labels:
good music,
lazy sunday,
music to listen to,
Playlists,
Sunday,
Sunday playlists
Aug 20, 2010
Aug 19, 2010
Aug 17, 2010
Fortune Cookie 500#'s 411-415
On rules and regulations
Mediocrity for the sake of compliance is still mediocrity.
On confidentiality
If you constantly talk about work after work, you need a CAT Scan not a citation.
On inequality
I think therefore I hate.
On favoritism
The death of morale comes at the hand of misguided praise.
On health
You’ll have 20 jobs… but you’ll only have one health.
Mediocrity for the sake of compliance is still mediocrity.
On confidentiality
If you constantly talk about work after work, you need a CAT Scan not a citation.
On inequality
I think therefore I hate.
On favoritism
The death of morale comes at the hand of misguided praise.
On health
You’ll have 20 jobs… but you’ll only have one health.
Labels:
Fortune,
fortune cookies,
would be wisdom
Aug 16, 2010
THIS RULES: Korean lesson on how to swear in English.
I'm fuking crying right now. Fuking sick... ROFL.
Aug 15, 2010
Sunny sunday playlist
Not sure if anyone is liking these lists, but here goes another one for a a smiley Sunday. Cheers
1. Dave Matthews - So Damn lucky
Something to definitely start the day. Dave and Trey, most definitely a great combination.
2. PJ Olson - the Whistle Song
A while back they used this song for a Skittles commercial. Apologies for the Student Video, but still a great song. :D
3. Primus - Wynona's Big Brown Beaver
Crazy ass video, for a crazy ass song, by a crazy ass band who's singing about a crazy ass beaver. Plus, you have subtitles so you can sing along. Delightful :D
4. Porno for Pyros - Pets
Seeing how people behave daily, of course we'd make good pets.
5. Israel Vibration - The Same Song
One of the best Israel Vibration songs, this reminds me of going to surf with the bro. Big shacks, big airs, and good times. Face it, sometimes, life is quite good.
6. Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend
More 90's goodness courtesy of Matthew Sweet and the anime based video for girlfriend.
7. Devo - whip it
Even people who hate this song end up bobbing their heads to it. And remember, if you're going to whip it, whip it good. :D
8. Dr. Dog - The Breeze
Dr. Dog is another one of those classic bands you've probably never heard of. Your welcome. :D
9. Steve Miller Band - The Joker
A song made after my heart. :D Tell me Jack Johnson doesn't sound like Steve Miller's long lost son. :D
10. Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
I have only one thing to say: This is a Fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fucking cool song.
11. Whitest Boy Alive - Burning
Definitely a good song to have on your iPod for the road. Both albums I've heard are super solid. Do your playlist a favor and put it on.
12. The Ethiopians - Engine 54
Thanks to my bro I was able to get to know a ton of great reggae bands since he probably kept a small record shop in business for like 6 years. Now bruddah, tell me dis song don make you wonna bounce on yo toes and smiley.
13. Presidents of the United States of America - Peaches
If I'd have my little way, I'd also have peaches every day. Truly a 90's classic that always brings a smile to my face.
14. Red hot Chili Peppers - Aeroplane
Spike that pleasure with pain lil' kiddies. Another jammy funky fun song from the peppers.
15. Eddie Vedder - Better Days
A song from Eat, Pray, Love... and yet another song that makes me smile. Thanks Ed.
16. Billy Joel - Uptown Girl
Well golleee, I'm gonna marry an uptown girl in two months. Of course I've gotta smile big time.
17. Café Tacvba - como Te extraño
One of the best bands from Mexico. This song might not be off their epic album Re, but still an excellent song for a Sunny Sunday.
18. Queen - One vision
One of my favorite Queen tracks ever. It's go so much Iron Eagle goodness, that you can't help but accept it rules... The video however makes want to ask for fried chicken.
19. Tony Bennet and Stevie Wonder - For once in my life
Sunny Sundays can also have a lot of class. Cheers my friends.
20. Jack Johnson - you and your heart
We should all strive to be as happy as Jack.
1. Dave Matthews - So Damn lucky
Something to definitely start the day. Dave and Trey, most definitely a great combination.
2. PJ Olson - the Whistle Song
A while back they used this song for a Skittles commercial. Apologies for the Student Video, but still a great song. :D
3. Primus - Wynona's Big Brown Beaver
Crazy ass video, for a crazy ass song, by a crazy ass band who's singing about a crazy ass beaver. Plus, you have subtitles so you can sing along. Delightful :D
4. Porno for Pyros - Pets
Seeing how people behave daily, of course we'd make good pets.
5. Israel Vibration - The Same Song
One of the best Israel Vibration songs, this reminds me of going to surf with the bro. Big shacks, big airs, and good times. Face it, sometimes, life is quite good.
6. Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend
More 90's goodness courtesy of Matthew Sweet and the anime based video for girlfriend.
7. Devo - whip it
Even people who hate this song end up bobbing their heads to it. And remember, if you're going to whip it, whip it good. :D
8. Dr. Dog - The Breeze
Dr. Dog is another one of those classic bands you've probably never heard of. Your welcome. :D
9. Steve Miller Band - The Joker
A song made after my heart. :D Tell me Jack Johnson doesn't sound like Steve Miller's long lost son. :D
10. Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
I have only one thing to say: This is a Fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fucking cool song.
11. Whitest Boy Alive - Burning
Definitely a good song to have on your iPod for the road. Both albums I've heard are super solid. Do your playlist a favor and put it on.
12. The Ethiopians - Engine 54
Thanks to my bro I was able to get to know a ton of great reggae bands since he probably kept a small record shop in business for like 6 years. Now bruddah, tell me dis song don make you wonna bounce on yo toes and smiley.
13. Presidents of the United States of America - Peaches
If I'd have my little way, I'd also have peaches every day. Truly a 90's classic that always brings a smile to my face.
14. Red hot Chili Peppers - Aeroplane
Spike that pleasure with pain lil' kiddies. Another jammy funky fun song from the peppers.
15. Eddie Vedder - Better Days
A song from Eat, Pray, Love... and yet another song that makes me smile. Thanks Ed.
16. Billy Joel - Uptown Girl
Well golleee, I'm gonna marry an uptown girl in two months. Of course I've gotta smile big time.
17. Café Tacvba - como Te extraño
One of the best bands from Mexico. This song might not be off their epic album Re, but still an excellent song for a Sunny Sunday.
18. Queen - One vision
One of my favorite Queen tracks ever. It's go so much Iron Eagle goodness, that you can't help but accept it rules... The video however makes want to ask for fried chicken.
19. Tony Bennet and Stevie Wonder - For once in my life
Sunny Sundays can also have a lot of class. Cheers my friends.
20. Jack Johnson - you and your heart
We should all strive to be as happy as Jack.
Labels:
good music,
lazy sunday,
music to listen to,
Playlists,
Sunday,
Sunday playlists
Aug 12, 2010
The Problem with Steven Slater and going Apeshit AWOL at your job.
The first moment I heard of Steven Slater and his amazing stunt at Jet Blue, I thought... fuck yeah, that man is my hero. Come on, I mean... we've all been there, specially ad people. We've gathered our stuff and actually started to walk out the door of many ad agencies.
We've daydreamed of what could possibly happen if we walk up to the Creative Director or the CEO and screamed at the top of our lungs "Go But-Lick some Donkey Balls!" I even called up Human Resources once, with my purse in hand, screaming "what would happen if I just leave... RIGHT NOW?"
Work is hard, the people are bad and the clients make us want to basically either kill ourselves or harm another human being. Going Postal was coined just because some dude at the Post Office went berzkerk with a gun. But trust me, sometimes I wonder if history would have been different and we could now refer to that state of mind as Going Bank, Going Agency... Going Government Office... you know what I mean.
So anyway, back to the dude with the prize of the single most amazing "I quit" moment this decade has to offer. Steven Slater decides to quit in the most flashing way possible. He goes mental on the PA system inside the airplane, opens up the emergency shoot and jumps, not before grabbing two beers. Perfect, Steven. You gave the airplane a piece of your mind.
Now, while I applaud his balls for quitting apeshit style... I wonder if this is ok. Was it safe for old Steven to do it? Aw, come on, the plane was already on the ground. So yeah, it was safe. Was it cool? Sure thing man! Telling any boss that he can suck it is priceless. But should he have actually went ahead and did it? I'm not so sure.
Some people say that with age comes a little bit of wisdom and let me tell you, I completely disagree. With age comes thinking a little bit more what repercussions really mean. For example. If you had asked me 12 years ago about screaming at the top of my lungs and leaving the ad agency at the time, I would have said "OF COURSE, DO IT". Leaving in the most dramatic way would give my bosses something to think about, I would have thought. A show like that would have shown them that treating people badly is not the way to go...
Yeah... right.
Fast forward to present day. Ask me again if 'Going Slater' is a good thing when leaving a job and I will totally disagree. Drama is only good for TiVo and HBO. While you might want to make a scene to demonstrate the problems within a company, your name is WAY more important than anything else.
What do I mean, your name? Your reputation. Jobs can come and go, but your name carries a history. Just like your credit score, if it sucks, it sucks forever and it takes a while to clean itself up. That means that if you are a violent fuck, that will stick. If you are difficult to work with, carry that burden. If you are lazy, idiotic, egomaniac or whatever else... well, just think of the Beatles.
Boy... you're gonna carry that weight a looooooong timeeeeeeee!
So was Steven right in doing the shoot-quitting procedure? Nah. This is just a sad funny joke. At the end you will have someone who will not be able to get a decent job in a long long time. Did his style of quitting tell something about Jet Blue? Don't think so. Did we learn some kind of injustice about the company? Nope. Would we be angry if even Jet Blue did have some skeletons in their closet? No, again.
Being professional and just giving your two weeks notice is all that you need.
Just sayin'...
We've daydreamed of what could possibly happen if we walk up to the Creative Director or the CEO and screamed at the top of our lungs "Go But-Lick some Donkey Balls!" I even called up Human Resources once, with my purse in hand, screaming "what would happen if I just leave... RIGHT NOW?"
Work is hard, the people are bad and the clients make us want to basically either kill ourselves or harm another human being. Going Postal was coined just because some dude at the Post Office went berzkerk with a gun. But trust me, sometimes I wonder if history would have been different and we could now refer to that state of mind as Going Bank, Going Agency... Going Government Office... you know what I mean.
So anyway, back to the dude with the prize of the single most amazing "I quit" moment this decade has to offer. Steven Slater decides to quit in the most flashing way possible. He goes mental on the PA system inside the airplane, opens up the emergency shoot and jumps, not before grabbing two beers. Perfect, Steven. You gave the airplane a piece of your mind.
Now, while I applaud his balls for quitting apeshit style... I wonder if this is ok. Was it safe for old Steven to do it? Aw, come on, the plane was already on the ground. So yeah, it was safe. Was it cool? Sure thing man! Telling any boss that he can suck it is priceless. But should he have actually went ahead and did it? I'm not so sure.
Some people say that with age comes a little bit of wisdom and let me tell you, I completely disagree. With age comes thinking a little bit more what repercussions really mean. For example. If you had asked me 12 years ago about screaming at the top of my lungs and leaving the ad agency at the time, I would have said "OF COURSE, DO IT". Leaving in the most dramatic way would give my bosses something to think about, I would have thought. A show like that would have shown them that treating people badly is not the way to go...
Yeah... right.
Fast forward to present day. Ask me again if 'Going Slater' is a good thing when leaving a job and I will totally disagree. Drama is only good for TiVo and HBO. While you might want to make a scene to demonstrate the problems within a company, your name is WAY more important than anything else.
What do I mean, your name? Your reputation. Jobs can come and go, but your name carries a history. Just like your credit score, if it sucks, it sucks forever and it takes a while to clean itself up. That means that if you are a violent fuck, that will stick. If you are difficult to work with, carry that burden. If you are lazy, idiotic, egomaniac or whatever else... well, just think of the Beatles.
Boy... you're gonna carry that weight a looooooong timeeeeeeee!
So was Steven right in doing the shoot-quitting procedure? Nah. This is just a sad funny joke. At the end you will have someone who will not be able to get a decent job in a long long time. Did his style of quitting tell something about Jet Blue? Don't think so. Did we learn some kind of injustice about the company? Nope. Would we be angry if even Jet Blue did have some skeletons in their closet? No, again.
Being professional and just giving your two weeks notice is all that you need.
Just sayin'...
You can buy the Dharma Van!
ABC Studios, in partnership with Profiles in History, will conduct a live and online auction featuring the iconic props, wardrobe and set decoration of the Emmy Award-winning television series. Along with the auction, ABC will be offering fans an opportunity to immerse themselves in all things “LOST.” Large set pieces from the show will be on display, including a Dharma van and pieces of the plane wreckage from Oceanic flight 815. Other memorable props and wardrobe will also be featured.
You can register online and buy stuff and not have to be there. Go to the link at the name of the post for more info!
One of the most amazing videogames I've ever purchased: Limbo
Sometimes you just don't need to spend a shitload of money to enjoy a really good videogame. Case in point, XBox Live's Limbo, for just peanuts you can download one of the most interesing and scary games you will ever play this year.
The premise? Who knows. Right now all I can tell you from what I've learned playing, you're a kid in a really fucked up place, filled with scary spiders, evil kids and shit that will kill you in very cool ways. Oh, did I mention, there is no cute Mario Brothers sounding music, just eerie sounds? I freaked out a lot playing because it is so weird, you will never believe it.
Another cool thing about the game is the absolute lack of color. Yep. All black and white. Oh and forget good lighting. There are times when you are playing shit scared because you are almost not able to see the path. Brilliant!
So if you like puzzles, mazes and gory ways of dying, this is a must for you. Available in XBox Live for download for a measly 1200 points.
Happy Dying, people!
Aug 11, 2010
Aug 9, 2010
Ad Obituaries: The CEO
Maximus McDick
1960-2010
“A charismatic leader, Maximus McDick inspires his workers and worries about them, because that's what you have to do with the little people: you worry about them.”
- Excerpt from the McDick & Associates employee handbook.
After twenty three years in the ad industry, Maximus McDick made good on his promise that he would die for an account. Five minutes after the potential clients left the office parking lot, Mr. McDick called an emergency reunion in the conference room. After two minutes of silence, it was broken when he started screaming at the creative team about the trash they called a concept and the poor excuse for innovation in their executions. The next grilling came to the executive team for being so idiotic as to trust the judgment of the creative team and on establishing such a silly strategy that wouldn’t fly one bit. The last bit came to the media execs who couldn’t make eye contact after he yelled that he didn’t even know why he was even paying them a salary. When he was summing up how he didn’t know why people insisted on not listening to his strategies to make a 60 second jingle and flawless print ad, TV, radio ad campaign, a sudden look of realization came over his face and he fell dead. Ten minutes later, the clients called, congratulated everyone on an excellent presentation, a solid strategy and the best creative they had seen and that they didn’t need to reach their office to make a decision and that McDick & Associates had just won the entire East Coast business for their account.
A combined celebration of his life, legacy and the account he did not ruin will be celebrated with jell-o shots and lap dances for all employees who will receive a 5% raise after cashing in the insurance for an at work death.
Maximus McDick is survived by his current wife, four ex wives, six children, and a pet piranha named Kim. His ashes will be combined with those remaining in his ash tray and as per established in his will, whatever is not burned shall be fed to the piranha.
Here are some other obituaries:
The creative
the media planner
the executive
1960-2010
“A charismatic leader, Maximus McDick inspires his workers and worries about them, because that's what you have to do with the little people: you worry about them.”
- Excerpt from the McDick & Associates employee handbook.
After twenty three years in the ad industry, Maximus McDick made good on his promise that he would die for an account. Five minutes after the potential clients left the office parking lot, Mr. McDick called an emergency reunion in the conference room. After two minutes of silence, it was broken when he started screaming at the creative team about the trash they called a concept and the poor excuse for innovation in their executions. The next grilling came to the executive team for being so idiotic as to trust the judgment of the creative team and on establishing such a silly strategy that wouldn’t fly one bit. The last bit came to the media execs who couldn’t make eye contact after he yelled that he didn’t even know why he was even paying them a salary. When he was summing up how he didn’t know why people insisted on not listening to his strategies to make a 60 second jingle and flawless print ad, TV, radio ad campaign, a sudden look of realization came over his face and he fell dead. Ten minutes later, the clients called, congratulated everyone on an excellent presentation, a solid strategy and the best creative they had seen and that they didn’t need to reach their office to make a decision and that McDick & Associates had just won the entire East Coast business for their account.
A combined celebration of his life, legacy and the account he did not ruin will be celebrated with jell-o shots and lap dances for all employees who will receive a 5% raise after cashing in the insurance for an at work death.
Maximus McDick is survived by his current wife, four ex wives, six children, and a pet piranha named Kim. His ashes will be combined with those remaining in his ash tray and as per established in his will, whatever is not burned shall be fed to the piranha.
Here are some other obituaries:
The creative
the media planner
the executive
Five Foods that Suck ballsacks that define: Me.
You gotta give it to me. The single most random thing we humans have is the sense of taste, since what tastes good to me possibly will taste like shit to someone in this planet and viceversa. Food is relative. What tastes good and what tastes like garbage dump cannot be defined, period. But we DO have something in common. There is a group of food that we just cannot even look at nor taste. We all have limits. So, in trying to keep the five things tradition going, let me explore the "I will never taste that shit again" food list.
You can add your own if you want. Oh, don't worry if your comment doesn't show up right away, trust me I'll publish it ASAP - it's just that we're fighting some douchebag spammer idiot who insists on letting us know about his moronic porn site and trust me, it will never happen again...
So! Five Foods that I hate... In no particular order:
1) Eggplant.
Tell me about watery and disgusting. Blagh! How much do I hate this? It's Hitlers Germany and you have me trying to tell you any secret. Make me eat anything related to this and I will start talking. Yes. Dead people ahead!
2) Strawberries.
Yeah, yeah. I know. Half of Planet Earth loves them. Well, I hate them. They have seeds. They have hairs. Enough said.
3) Oysters.
Why would I eat something that tastes like snot, ever again? I tried to eat them raw once. You had to see that show. Gagging galore. Ugh.
4) Mint filled Chocolate.
I HATE MINT. And to mix it with chocolate is just wrong. Chocolate is one of those perfect things that you don't fuck up ever. Stop this shit, mint sucks. It is only worthy of toothpaste. Period.
5) Italian Sausage.
I don't know why, but everytime someone orders this piece of garbage in a pizza, for me it tastes like mint or something metallic, hence... pizza has to be discarded. Stat.
See? Maybe you like all of the items in my list. But I cannot stand them, with passion. Oh and by the way... I love Ostrich, eat random and weird fish, love weird mixes of food (bacon wrapped figs is a basic example), love weird sushi. Talk about ironic.
What are your No - No's when it comes to food?
You can add your own if you want. Oh, don't worry if your comment doesn't show up right away, trust me I'll publish it ASAP - it's just that we're fighting some douchebag spammer idiot who insists on letting us know about his moronic porn site and trust me, it will never happen again...
So! Five Foods that I hate... In no particular order:
1) Eggplant.
Tell me about watery and disgusting. Blagh! How much do I hate this? It's Hitlers Germany and you have me trying to tell you any secret. Make me eat anything related to this and I will start talking. Yes. Dead people ahead!
2) Strawberries.
Yeah, yeah. I know. Half of Planet Earth loves them. Well, I hate them. They have seeds. They have hairs. Enough said.
3) Oysters.
Why would I eat something that tastes like snot, ever again? I tried to eat them raw once. You had to see that show. Gagging galore. Ugh.
4) Mint filled Chocolate.
I HATE MINT. And to mix it with chocolate is just wrong. Chocolate is one of those perfect things that you don't fuck up ever. Stop this shit, mint sucks. It is only worthy of toothpaste. Period.
5) Italian Sausage.
I don't know why, but everytime someone orders this piece of garbage in a pizza, for me it tastes like mint or something metallic, hence... pizza has to be discarded. Stat.
See? Maybe you like all of the items in my list. But I cannot stand them, with passion. Oh and by the way... I love Ostrich, eat random and weird fish, love weird mixes of food (bacon wrapped figs is a basic example), love weird sushi. Talk about ironic.
What are your No - No's when it comes to food?
Aug 8, 2010
One of the most amazing films I've ever seen: Inception!
How good is this movie? Well, if you remembered seeing Jurassic Park or The Matrix, that feeling of knowing full well that you were watching something historic, something that you were sure that you never saw before... then Inception goes the extra mile and then some. Because while the previous movies reference only true advancements mainly on special effects, Inception takes technology AND script and moves the bar so damn forward, I think even Spielberg is shaking in his pants.
This. Movie. Is. Amazing. In. Every. Way!
I'm telling you, this is truly one of those moments in the movie theater you will never forget. I cannot, CANNOT tell you even one little thing that I didn't like. Christopher Nolan NAILS it. Oscar worthy material, if you ask me.
All of the actors are spot on. Soundtrack is simply superb. Script, impeccable. Effects will blow your minds, testes or ovaries. Photography, incredible.
What I loved about Inception is the fact that, for a person that "suffers" from dreams and nightmares galore, Nolan went where my mind has been many times. If you dream, if you have nightmares, if you wake up feeling either wonderful or depressed from sleeping, then you will totally sort of get the movie. Sleeping is powerful shit, and Nolan (did I mention that the man WROTE THE THING?) goes really apeshit with the concept in the most amazing way.
If I could go all Hollywood pitch so you could at least get the basic picture, I would describe it like: The Usual Suspects meets The Matrix meets Shutter Island. What could be better than a SciFi movie mixed with a little crime? EPIC!
So yeah. You have a couple of months. Get your act together and take time to see it asap. Seeing it on Netflix simply WON'T DO. This is one for the books, one that you have to see in all its amazing and big screen glory.
Mr. Nolan? Thank you. I wished for a true what the fuck did I just watch moment since the nineties and you delivered in full force. Live long and prosper. Much love, Me.
A Sunday Soundtrack Playlist
1. Coraline Soundtrack - Exploration
Though I have a long list of friends that really didn't like this film... I have to disagree completely. I loved Coraline and its soundtrack helped a lot.
2. The Fountain
The movie is odd, cryptic, depressing and utterly beautiful. The soundtrack always gets to me and I think that's the sign of a great score. Here's a mix with some visuals.
3. Diarios de motocicleta - Al otro lado del Río by Jorge Drexler
A beautiful song from a great movie that won the Uruguayan singer an Oscar.
4. Shine - The Rach 3
Purists scoff at David Helfgott saying he got famous simply because of the film... They seem to miss the fact that this movie helped people rekindled their interest in classical music. Go figure.
5. Goonies - Cyndi Lauper Goonies r good enough
If you lived in the 80's, you should have seen this movie... if you haven't... do so. Here's the full video version of the Goonies song. The tack is in full effect and it's more than good enough. :D
6.The Crow City of Angels - Knock me out (Linda perry featuring Grace Slick)
The movie might kind of suck (In a Guilty Pleasure kind of way) but this soundtrack is one of the best ever. This song is powerful and dark.
7. Twin Peaks - Blue Frank
I'm a late Peaks fan but if anything stuck from the wonderfully disturbing experience, it was the music. Angelo Badalamenti is downright devilish in his work for the run of the show.
8. Xenogears - Creid/Melkaba
Movies aren't the only place to find a great soundtrack. I actually love music from videogames and often receive quiszical looks when one of the songs pop onto my mix. From one of my favorite games of my life, here's my favorite track.
9. Real Genius - Everybody wants to rule the world
Two reasons to love the 80's... Real Genius and Tears for Fears
10. David Bowie - Magic Dance
So what if David Bowie has the same hair as Axl Rose in Welcome to the Jungle... or is it the other way around? So what if he has a disturbingly tight set of pants? The point is that Labyrynth is part of my childhood and I still love it long time.
11. Big Trouble in Little China - Escape from Wing Kong
One of my favorite movies ever, Big Trouble has an epic soundtrack courtesy of John Carpenter. He definitely knows how to tweak your buttons to get you tense and stressed.
12. Stay Alive - Enter the House
Though the movie is a guilty pleasure at best, I thought the score was fantastic.
13. Into the Wild - Long Nights
Get used to it, there'll always be a Pearl Jam or Eddie Vedder song on my lists. :D A great song from the lovely albeit short soundtrack to Into the Wild.
14. Riding Giants - This is the Sea by the Waterboys
I find a lot of great songs watching surf videos. One of the more main stream ones is Riding Giants... and this is a song that definitely makes me want to get in a car and whisk my worries away with salt water and sand.
15. Donnie Darko - Mad World
Gary Jules may have come to fame because of a cover... but wow... what a cover. :D
16. Lost Highway - Nine Inch Nails The Perfect Drug
Lost Highway is messed up, indecipherable, dark and has a soundtrack that friggin rawks.
17. Fifth Element - Little Light of Love
Sounding like a hybrid between Peter Gabriel and Seal, this song off the soundtrack is one of the few that have vocals, but still a great score to listen to through and through.
18. Silent Hill - you're not here
Here you can see the two best things of the movie. The music and the end credits. How a movie this bad can have scenes shot SO WELL, I have no clue.
19. Gi Joe the movie - Intro song
Screw the movie that just came out... THIS IS THE REAL GIJOE MOVIE! COBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
20. Hero - The Chess Court
Every epic martial arts movie has one fight that stands out from the rest... here's what happens when you have a scene that stands out from the entire genre.
Though I have a long list of friends that really didn't like this film... I have to disagree completely. I loved Coraline and its soundtrack helped a lot.
2. The Fountain
The movie is odd, cryptic, depressing and utterly beautiful. The soundtrack always gets to me and I think that's the sign of a great score. Here's a mix with some visuals.
3. Diarios de motocicleta - Al otro lado del Río by Jorge Drexler
A beautiful song from a great movie that won the Uruguayan singer an Oscar.
4. Shine - The Rach 3
Purists scoff at David Helfgott saying he got famous simply because of the film... They seem to miss the fact that this movie helped people rekindled their interest in classical music. Go figure.
5. Goonies - Cyndi Lauper Goonies r good enough
If you lived in the 80's, you should have seen this movie... if you haven't... do so. Here's the full video version of the Goonies song. The tack is in full effect and it's more than good enough. :D
6.The Crow City of Angels - Knock me out (Linda perry featuring Grace Slick)
The movie might kind of suck (In a Guilty Pleasure kind of way) but this soundtrack is one of the best ever. This song is powerful and dark.
7. Twin Peaks - Blue Frank
I'm a late Peaks fan but if anything stuck from the wonderfully disturbing experience, it was the music. Angelo Badalamenti is downright devilish in his work for the run of the show.
8. Xenogears - Creid/Melkaba
Movies aren't the only place to find a great soundtrack. I actually love music from videogames and often receive quiszical looks when one of the songs pop onto my mix. From one of my favorite games of my life, here's my favorite track.
9. Real Genius - Everybody wants to rule the world
Two reasons to love the 80's... Real Genius and Tears for Fears
10. David Bowie - Magic Dance
So what if David Bowie has the same hair as Axl Rose in Welcome to the Jungle... or is it the other way around? So what if he has a disturbingly tight set of pants? The point is that Labyrynth is part of my childhood and I still love it long time.
11. Big Trouble in Little China - Escape from Wing Kong
One of my favorite movies ever, Big Trouble has an epic soundtrack courtesy of John Carpenter. He definitely knows how to tweak your buttons to get you tense and stressed.
12. Stay Alive - Enter the House
Though the movie is a guilty pleasure at best, I thought the score was fantastic.
13. Into the Wild - Long Nights
Get used to it, there'll always be a Pearl Jam or Eddie Vedder song on my lists. :D A great song from the lovely albeit short soundtrack to Into the Wild.
14. Riding Giants - This is the Sea by the Waterboys
I find a lot of great songs watching surf videos. One of the more main stream ones is Riding Giants... and this is a song that definitely makes me want to get in a car and whisk my worries away with salt water and sand.
15. Donnie Darko - Mad World
Gary Jules may have come to fame because of a cover... but wow... what a cover. :D
16. Lost Highway - Nine Inch Nails The Perfect Drug
Lost Highway is messed up, indecipherable, dark and has a soundtrack that friggin rawks.
17. Fifth Element - Little Light of Love
Sounding like a hybrid between Peter Gabriel and Seal, this song off the soundtrack is one of the few that have vocals, but still a great score to listen to through and through.
18. Silent Hill - you're not here
Here you can see the two best things of the movie. The music and the end credits. How a movie this bad can have scenes shot SO WELL, I have no clue.
19. Gi Joe the movie - Intro song
Screw the movie that just came out... THIS IS THE REAL GIJOE MOVIE! COBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
20. Hero - The Chess Court
Every epic martial arts movie has one fight that stands out from the rest... here's what happens when you have a scene that stands out from the entire genre.
Labels:
good music,
lazy sunday,
music to listen to,
Playlists,
Sunday,
Sunday playlists
Bad news makes good spoof
Simply put I hope the guy gets caught... but until then enjoy the video remix. :D
Labels:
bad news,
hide your kids,
hide your wife,
rapist in Lincoln,
remix
Aug 6, 2010
Sometimes you just need a beer
There are so many scenarios in our lives when you just need a break, that it's no wonder there are so many people who practice substance abuse.
It's 8:00 PM on a weekday. You look at your email. There's a message received on 7:56 PM.... it's another revision... you need a beer.
It's Friday and you see your Creative Director twitchy after a meeting with the head of client services. It's gonna be a long weekend. you need a beer.
You've just finished an artwork. It's the last job of the day and it was the worst since you had been in a block and didn't know how to deal with it. Suddenly your back up battery dies.... you need a beer... or heroin.
Your significant other calls you for the 8th time. The dinner is cold, their tone is not pleasant and words are not spoken as your side of the bed is cold yet again... you hope. you need need a beer.
The only time you see the sunset is through the bathroom window... you need a beer.
You see your inbox and all the emails are for sex pill offers, parties you're never going to and other agencies saying that you're an excellent candidate but they're not currently hiring. you need a beer.
The scenarios are endless. But the desire are often similar enough. You want something to numb the pain... something to make things more bearable. You can use a beer, pot, xanax, sex, comfort food or oxycontin... the point is that you wish upon an external agent, because what you have inside doesn't fill you up. You are not satisfied and you need every resource to justify you staying in a job you don't like... You find yourself reading and writing about things to see if other people relate and you're surprised to find more than just a few people as company... It's a nation of apathy and we are its embarassed citizens.
Here's to having a beer in celebration rather than frustration... just like I did last night.
Cheers friends.
It's 8:00 PM on a weekday. You look at your email. There's a message received on 7:56 PM.... it's another revision... you need a beer.
It's Friday and you see your Creative Director twitchy after a meeting with the head of client services. It's gonna be a long weekend. you need a beer.
You've just finished an artwork. It's the last job of the day and it was the worst since you had been in a block and didn't know how to deal with it. Suddenly your back up battery dies.... you need a beer... or heroin.
Your significant other calls you for the 8th time. The dinner is cold, their tone is not pleasant and words are not spoken as your side of the bed is cold yet again... you hope. you need need a beer.
The only time you see the sunset is through the bathroom window... you need a beer.
You see your inbox and all the emails are for sex pill offers, parties you're never going to and other agencies saying that you're an excellent candidate but they're not currently hiring. you need a beer.
The scenarios are endless. But the desire are often similar enough. You want something to numb the pain... something to make things more bearable. You can use a beer, pot, xanax, sex, comfort food or oxycontin... the point is that you wish upon an external agent, because what you have inside doesn't fill you up. You are not satisfied and you need every resource to justify you staying in a job you don't like... You find yourself reading and writing about things to see if other people relate and you're surprised to find more than just a few people as company... It's a nation of apathy and we are its embarassed citizens.
Here's to having a beer in celebration rather than frustration... just like I did last night.
Cheers friends.
Labels:
excess,
fed up,
relief,
wonders of beer
Aug 5, 2010
Aug 4, 2010
Beauty Ads and Unrealistic Expectations: Why I hate our Job.
Three pages in one of my monthly magazines in and I had to close it and write this post. Why? If there is one thing, just one little thing that makes me angry about advertising in general, beyond the douchebags that think they are creative geniuses (look up our review of Art & Copy), beyond being overworked and underpaid, beyond knowing full well that advertising is, basically, manipulating information... or lying... If there is just one thing that I am deeply ashamed of, is this: beauty ads are the worst.
Take your garden variety mascara ads, facial creams, rejuvenating balms or any other item that requires a face and you will end up with such a retouched image that you can't even recognize a human being anymore in it!
This angers me, hard core style. Why? Women are starving themselves. Women are wasting money on makeup, creams, facial systems and many other things with unrealistic expectations that if they use them, they will have that dewy glow that they see in the magazines.
I know this is a blog mainly dedicated to advertising people (well, at least it started out that way), but if there is by any chance normal people out there, who don't know the ugly details about how low us advertising people can go to make you buy the shit we're bullshitting you about, or if you know someone who wastes her money at Sephora, Bloomingdales, Macy's or any other store, please, send her this post. At least, send the following paragraph, will you? Here we go:
Hi. I'm Me. I write at Why Advertising Sucks. I would like you to know that if you are buying beauty products left and right looking for that amazing skin, those really little pores or those amazing eyelashes... close up that magazine. Really. While any beauty product can be beneficial for your face or skin, please, don't believe the hype. We retouch to hell every little photo that you see on any of our ads. To the point of bizarre. Eyelids are completely redone. Irises are colored so you see two to three tone eyes. Skin is sometimes replaced COMPLETELY with a different skin from a database of different textures and colors. Faces are put on other necks (watch The September Issue closely). Waists are made slimmer. Thighs are shaved to look smaller. Those amazing eyelash tv ads that promise you longer lashes are bullshit. Even if you pay a bottle of Monthly Latisse every month, the moment you stop using it, the moment your lashes start to become smaller again. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT.
If you really want change, make an appointment with a very respected and highly recommended dermatologist. Trust me, been there got a tshirt. The only way I purchase any beauty product is by researching it in various forums. Word of mouth (or internet?) is more powerful than any ad you can almost believe.
Why do we do this? Why do we retouch the bejeezus out of celebrities to make an image that the product will never really accomplish? I have no idea. Maybe to lie to you, maybe to manipulate you into believing the bullcrap.
So, what would be a rule of thumb? If you don't see freckles, if you don't see slight imperfections, if you don't see the folds beneath eyelids, if the skin is impecabbly perfect, 95% of the time it will be a better idea if you just look the product up and see what the women are talking about in the internet.
And most importantly. I'm sorry. I'm deeply sorry. I know how much young women are getting the wrong impression seeing all these campaigns left and right. I might be just one angry chick snitch, but you can join me in my anti-bullshit beauty ad campaigns. Simple. Every time your daughter, sister, niece or friend tells you how beautiful that celebrity looks for using product X, just repeat this line: Retouched is not beautiful.
Beauty comes from within... and with a little help from your friendly dermatologist! Much Love, Me.
Take your garden variety mascara ads, facial creams, rejuvenating balms or any other item that requires a face and you will end up with such a retouched image that you can't even recognize a human being anymore in it!
This angers me, hard core style. Why? Women are starving themselves. Women are wasting money on makeup, creams, facial systems and many other things with unrealistic expectations that if they use them, they will have that dewy glow that they see in the magazines.
I know this is a blog mainly dedicated to advertising people (well, at least it started out that way), but if there is by any chance normal people out there, who don't know the ugly details about how low us advertising people can go to make you buy the shit we're bullshitting you about, or if you know someone who wastes her money at Sephora, Bloomingdales, Macy's or any other store, please, send her this post. At least, send the following paragraph, will you? Here we go:
Hi. I'm Me. I write at Why Advertising Sucks. I would like you to know that if you are buying beauty products left and right looking for that amazing skin, those really little pores or those amazing eyelashes... close up that magazine. Really. While any beauty product can be beneficial for your face or skin, please, don't believe the hype. We retouch to hell every little photo that you see on any of our ads. To the point of bizarre. Eyelids are completely redone. Irises are colored so you see two to three tone eyes. Skin is sometimes replaced COMPLETELY with a different skin from a database of different textures and colors. Faces are put on other necks (watch The September Issue closely). Waists are made slimmer. Thighs are shaved to look smaller. Those amazing eyelash tv ads that promise you longer lashes are bullshit. Even if you pay a bottle of Monthly Latisse every month, the moment you stop using it, the moment your lashes start to become smaller again. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT.
If you really want change, make an appointment with a very respected and highly recommended dermatologist. Trust me, been there got a tshirt. The only way I purchase any beauty product is by researching it in various forums. Word of mouth (or internet?) is more powerful than any ad you can almost believe.
Why do we do this? Why do we retouch the bejeezus out of celebrities to make an image that the product will never really accomplish? I have no idea. Maybe to lie to you, maybe to manipulate you into believing the bullcrap.
So, what would be a rule of thumb? If you don't see freckles, if you don't see slight imperfections, if you don't see the folds beneath eyelids, if the skin is impecabbly perfect, 95% of the time it will be a better idea if you just look the product up and see what the women are talking about in the internet.
And most importantly. I'm sorry. I'm deeply sorry. I know how much young women are getting the wrong impression seeing all these campaigns left and right. I might be just one angry chick snitch, but you can join me in my anti-bullshit beauty ad campaigns. Simple. Every time your daughter, sister, niece or friend tells you how beautiful that celebrity looks for using product X, just repeat this line: Retouched is not beautiful.
Beauty comes from within... and with a little help from your friendly dermatologist! Much Love, Me.
Aug 2, 2010
Love this! Diablo Cody's Red Band Trailer: The Jason Bateman Interview
Go to her RedBandTrailer YouTube Channel for more...
Aug 1, 2010
Another Sunday Playlist
It's simple, click the link, watch the videos and share any suggestion.
Cheers
1. Ani Difranco - 32 flavors
Ani's catalogue is so full of songs to choose for a lazy Sunday that it wasn't easy to just pick one for today.
2. Matt Costa - Yellow Taxi
Songs we sing is definitely an album to put on when you want your ears to make you smile. This is the opening song.
3. Nick Drake - river man
Floating down a river... I promise to do that at least once during a Sunday of my life
4.Jack Johnson - Constellations
When's the last time you laid down to look at the stars? Here's a version of one of my favorite Jack songs in duet with Eddie Vedder.
5. Soda Stereo - Luna Roja
Excellent song from the Argentinian epic trio. Get well Gustavo.
6. Counting Crows - Round Here
Though their last album was extremely good, I had to put an oldie but goodie.
7. Dave Matthews - You and me
Going to the end of the world doesn't seem like a bad thing with this song.
8. Pink Floyd - Goodbye Blue Sky
Few songs can be that beautiful and creepy at the same time. But I loves me some Floyd.
9. Buena Vista Social Club - Candela
A veces sólo hace falta darle un poco de candela a las cosas.
10. Ben Harper - She's only happy in the sun
Ben Harper likes shiny suits and great music. Definitely someone I'd like to meet in my life just to say thanks and shake his hands.
11. Collective Soul - She Said
An often overlooked Collective Soul song.
12. Tori Amos - Cornflake Girl
Tori Amos is weird... but very good weird. A very dear friend of mine is to Tori what I am to Pearl Jam... but that doesn't mean we don't listen to each other's favorites. :)
13. Eddie Vedder - Throw your arms around me
An excellent song by the Hunters and Collectors covered by Maestro Vedder.
14. Gustavo Cerati - Puente
Gustavo Cerati is to Latin Rock what John Lennon was to British Rock. Recently he fell into a coma which is a shame... unlike his catalogue which is beautiful, varied and timeless.
15. The Beatles - Here comes the Sun
Hell of a way to start your day up.
16. Pearl Jam - Thin Air
One of my favorite songs to listen on one headphone while Mrs. Joker joins along on the other
17. Seal - Fast Changes
One of my favorite orchestra arrangements in a song. And also a song that brings back a lot of good memories.
18. Mercromina - Chaqueta de Pana
I'm proud to say that I've yet to meet anyone who knows this band.
19. Jorge Drexler - Todo se transforma
Jorge Drexler is from Uruguay, he won an oscar for best original song and delivers in every outing. If you're looking for something good in Spanish, look no further.
20. Led Zeppelin - Friends
We can definitely get by with a little help of our friends.
Cheers
1. Ani Difranco - 32 flavors
Ani's catalogue is so full of songs to choose for a lazy Sunday that it wasn't easy to just pick one for today.
2. Matt Costa - Yellow Taxi
Songs we sing is definitely an album to put on when you want your ears to make you smile. This is the opening song.
3. Nick Drake - river man
Floating down a river... I promise to do that at least once during a Sunday of my life
4.Jack Johnson - Constellations
When's the last time you laid down to look at the stars? Here's a version of one of my favorite Jack songs in duet with Eddie Vedder.
5. Soda Stereo - Luna Roja
Excellent song from the Argentinian epic trio. Get well Gustavo.
6. Counting Crows - Round Here
Though their last album was extremely good, I had to put an oldie but goodie.
7. Dave Matthews - You and me
Going to the end of the world doesn't seem like a bad thing with this song.
8. Pink Floyd - Goodbye Blue Sky
Few songs can be that beautiful and creepy at the same time. But I loves me some Floyd.
9. Buena Vista Social Club - Candela
A veces sólo hace falta darle un poco de candela a las cosas.
10. Ben Harper - She's only happy in the sun
Ben Harper likes shiny suits and great music. Definitely someone I'd like to meet in my life just to say thanks and shake his hands.
11. Collective Soul - She Said
An often overlooked Collective Soul song.
12. Tori Amos - Cornflake Girl
Tori Amos is weird... but very good weird. A very dear friend of mine is to Tori what I am to Pearl Jam... but that doesn't mean we don't listen to each other's favorites. :)
13. Eddie Vedder - Throw your arms around me
An excellent song by the Hunters and Collectors covered by Maestro Vedder.
14. Gustavo Cerati - Puente
Gustavo Cerati is to Latin Rock what John Lennon was to British Rock. Recently he fell into a coma which is a shame... unlike his catalogue which is beautiful, varied and timeless.
15. The Beatles - Here comes the Sun
Hell of a way to start your day up.
16. Pearl Jam - Thin Air
One of my favorite songs to listen on one headphone while Mrs. Joker joins along on the other
17. Seal - Fast Changes
One of my favorite orchestra arrangements in a song. And also a song that brings back a lot of good memories.
18. Mercromina - Chaqueta de Pana
I'm proud to say that I've yet to meet anyone who knows this band.
19. Jorge Drexler - Todo se transforma
Jorge Drexler is from Uruguay, he won an oscar for best original song and delivers in every outing. If you're looking for something good in Spanish, look no further.
20. Led Zeppelin - Friends
We can definitely get by with a little help of our friends.
Labels:
good music,
lazy sunday,
music to listen to,
Playlists,
Sunday,
Sunday playlists
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