Well I just realized that you could write a whole blog or book about this experience. We're now up to almost a year of going little by little and doing - pun intended - baby steps in order to get there. And today was one of those days where it was sort of funny and hopeful and suddenly it dawned on me... I haven't told you guys about it!
So... last time I wrote about this little adventure, we were about to find out if at last we were having a baby. It had been a month and some change that I was late, if I don't remember correctly, and we had high hopes. Well, turned out that it was just the beginning of a new phase in this rollercoaster.
Of course, I cried that night after getting my hopes up. My babe held me and didn't let me go until I just slowly got the nerve to smile again and start all over. So close, yet so far away, right?
Let's fast forward to right now and where we are today. Seems that my body is slowly learning how to cope without the pills and although it's fighting me still about it, we're now at least living together in almost peace. It has turned out to take almost a year of me leaving the pills and my body accepting the fact that it's over, a baby is coming our way.
This. Is. Not. Easy. Having a baby is not so simple for some of us women out there. This has been blood tests, different dosages of medications, adverse reactions, side effects, confusion, shitload of money spent, arguments with mom (she knows everything, according to her, about doctors and ob/gyns), confusing answers from every doctor/book/blog/friends... etc.
It is astounding how much your brain can want something but your body thinks different. I went from having a normal life with my pills, to a total nightmare without them. Yep, I almost quit a couple of times because I felt so damn weird and sick... but I didn't. I'm not quitting.
Today it was funny, I went to my new fertility/obgyn doc, I had a student doctor there with her. At this point in my search, I don't give a shit who sees my poonany, just help me get a baby and I'll flash the damn thing so I didn't mind at all this weird strange little boy/man being with us while I got my sonogram on. Trust me, this is not me a couple of months or even a year ago. I would have kindly just left the office and changed docs. Funny how one stops caring for stupid things when you have bigger priorities in mind.
So the good news is, I can have a baby after all. I mean, my doc said I could with no problem. That was the good news of the year! I thought I couldn't and today I got my confirmation, we still have a go. Me can reproduce herself, people! She's just going to give me a little help on the way to make it easier.
Yup. Fertility drugs are next in line.
Get ready for some fucked up emotional posts from me, I guess. And she told me the best line in the whole wide world today, which I would like to quote:
"Get ready, drink your multivitamins. This baby is coming very soon!"
Oh my God. We're going to be parents... *HUGE SMILE*
Wish me luck, until next time and I hope with good news... Me.
Seriously, are these ads resonating with anyone that hasn't been smoking a joint? I mean, what the flying, landed, swimming, running and burrowing fuck?
I know kids ads are supposed to be weird, but this borders on the incomprehensible with a healthy dose of moronic. That it got approved shows the marketing people were clear on their goals and that they change agencies in a year and half means they'll be clear that it wasn't their fault either.
Shit, I know getting good ads isn't easy and I know that your good campaign surviving to the end and still somewhat resembling what was in that presentation is damn near impossible, but seriously.... whadafuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?
Oh and between Disrespectoids and Respect the Pouch, I'm not sure what's dumber.
That I insist on giving some people the benefit of the doubt that they actually have a brain should be reason enough to slap myself. I should approach every single person I have to deal with on a daily basis as if they’re purposely trying to fuck up my day because often times, that’s what seems to be the case, and that’s JUST what they do.
Email after email of inane responses that prove my point that people don’t read what I send them and much less what they send. Rude 15 word replies, everyone commenting and not one single constructive recommendation and inflated egos having a blast at your expense. Ah the beauty of corporate warfare.
“We’re a big corporate family.”
Oh right, so that’s why you send me to do your chores and then run to the proverbial mommy to show how good you are. Fucking AGH!
If I had a nickel for every time I got a douche email, I’d melt all of it and pour it over the slosh pieces of shit that dare call themselves coworkers.
A real coworker plays for the team. The caliber of cunt droppings I’ve had the delight to work with are always focused on their own agenda, which often includes sounding like Napoleon Bonaparte and expressing themselves like Napoleon Dynamite.
But let us read that wonderful title again. Now if you’re like me, you wish upon a bright red burning star for people to actually read what they send. But they don’t. Most people don’t because they’re so busy that they do a bit of everything, which ends up translating into a whole lot of nothing. But still the emails keep rolling and you find yourself surrounded or beneath a bunch of people who mostly reply to emails all day long.
It’s sad to see that a sign of the times is the inefficiency of people in their personal and professional communications. Messages get truncated and our sense of self gets diluted beyond recognition. 8 word emails that contain directives, chastisements, reprisals and a prewritten Thank you next to the signature. That’s what I receive. People with their head so far up their corporate worshipping asses that of course they’ve lost the notion of reality beyond the comfort of their cubicle.
I simply look at what lies beyond the vacuum sealed window and I dream… and dreams are a powerful thing when you listen, pay attention and obey.
There's just some brands that have to be the shittiest accounts to work on, period. It's like I see this spot and I can imagine the most depressed creatives in the agency, flipping through kiddie porn and snorting mashed cocoa pebbles and cocaine just to cope with their existence. That the client insists that the music matters is probably the ultimate insult to injury to these people and by the end of the ad, I'm sure some people have contracted some type of cancer.
It's like, you see the ad starting off, you see the sweaters and you know there's no way you're not going to hate this. To boot, the OG failed at "tokening" this ad. If you're not clear on what tokening is, just browse a few Olive Garden commercials (have your porn or favorite cartoon ready to recoup afterwards) and see how many Asians, Hispanics and Black people you can spot. Oh and if you're wondering, the breadsticks aren't all that.
Dating back twenty years, this humdinger of a piece of shit ad still pisses me off to this day. Having a douche talent is bad enough, having a smarmy voiced dildo with a combover, a dry mouth and pederast glasses would be enough to make me ultra hate the ad... but no... they had to throw in that lame ass trophy wife that admires her put a mili second after she "hits" the ball. We know you didn't sink the put. Hell, we know you didn't even hit the ball. But alas, Freedent wins and we're stuck between flipping the channel and missing 20 seconds of American Gladiators, or enduring the grind and seeing Lazer tackle the shit out of some hopeless dental assistant.
I am a child of the 90's. Period and I have a bunch of albums and favorite bands that come from this particular decade... so here's my first of a couple of 90's lists to remind you what you've been missing thanks to shit like Fall Out Boy
Sponge is one of those bands I've always liked a lot. True, their best work is far behind them, but I still by their albums and enjoy the music. Here's one of their bigger hits off their great debut album, Rotting Piñata.
A Green Day... though people still love Green Day and think they've gotten better with time, I disagree. I stick with Dookie and Insomniac and let the new tweeners enjoy the black mascara goodness of today's Greenday while I listen to some longview.
3. Tool – Prison Sex
One of my five favorite bands has videos that would make HP Lovecraft proud. Twisted, crunching and oh so fucking good. Come to the dark side won't you?
4. Eels – Novocain for the Soul
Another 90's band I hold close to my heart. Ever since I heard Novocaine for the Soul I knew I'd listen E's music for a long time to come. Plus, the video is pretty fun for me.
I think I've mentioned before that I took Shannon Hoon's death a lot harder than Kurt Cobain's. Don't get me wrong, I think they were both great losses, but with Shannon... I think someone I really would have enjoyed meeting died way too soon. Here's a fantastic song from their eponymous Debut album.
Just how many good songs can a band have... Listen to Radiohead and learn. First track of the OK Computer album and one of my fav bass lines.
7. Guns N Roses – November Rain
Say what you want about Axl and Slash... this song was a super classic in the 90's and after it settled down from being played to death, you can see it's a fucking classic. Besides, how many 9 minute music videos do you know of that don't suck?
The 90's band that never was. I'm actually a bit bitter that Screaming Trees weren't that succesful because I really really liked that band. Mark Lanegan has since established his whiskey smoke voice as a classic in rock but before that, he nearly lost someone.
10. Days of the New – Shelf in the room
Travis Meeks is proof that you can get a second chance. How the hell you can fall from grace to the level he did, and still be around playing, I don't know. But I've bought all Days of the New albums because it's a treat for me. Here's one of my favorite songs from the debut album which is pretty much acoustic grunge greatness. The fact that he's the only person I've seen sing The End by the Doors convincingly should be enough reason to check em out.
11. Stone Temple Pilots – Big Empty
I think this is possibly my favorite STP song. Maybe it has to do with it being in the Crow Soundtrack... maybe it's the great slide guitar... or maybe it's just that the song is fucking golden. Eitherway, my childhood and adulthood has heard this song plenty... and I don't think it'll get old ever. Here's the song off their extremely solid MTV Unplugged
Adam Duritz often gets accused of being whiny... to those people I say, fuck off. The guy went out with Jennifer Anniston AND Courtney Cox and you're envious. Period. Though their August and Everything After is a real 90's classic, it's Recovering the Satellites that got me into the Crows. Click the link above to see a very good live version of the title track of that album. Also... is it just me, or does Duritz look like the long lost brother of Gutter from the Classic film PCU. And yes, I can blow you where the pampers is. Click here to see what I mean.
Filter be good. To be honest, it's a band I don't think could pull off most of its songs live because Richard Patrick screams so hard... Hey, we all have the right to be wrong. Click the link for a pretty good live version of the song.
Soundgarden defines many moments in my life. This song is dark, it's brooding and it churns along. Definitely Superuknown is one of the best albums from the 90's hands down.
15. Marylin Manson – the Beautiful People
Some people think Manson is a douche or a poser... though both descriptions might be upheld... you can't deny this song makes you want to break things... and I like that. Throw in some fucked up visuals and you have a 90's metal classic Tell me Silent Hill didn't take a few visual ideas from this video :D
To me it's sad that Ed Kowalczyk turned out to be such a shit head with his high school friends turned band mates. Since last year, he's gone solo and the band took up shop with the lead singer from another 90's classic band, Cracker. But before he became a dildo, Ed worked with his band to put out three great cds in The Distance to Here, Secret Samadhi and their landmark Throwing Copper. Click the link for a ballad that doesn't piss me off.
Simply put, I want to see Love in a roast again. She's such a train wreck that it's a wonder she was able to get her shit together long enough to churn out Live Through This, a 90's classic album that truly shows what she could do if she weren't such a head case. Click the link to see her doll parts... no worries, it's the video not some snatch shot.
18. Nine Inch Nails – Perfect Drug
Trent Reznor has put forth so much good music, you couldn't expect anything less from his contribution to the Lost Highway soundtrack. Absynthe, dark colors, one of the coolest videos from the 90's and a great fucking song. What else do you need?
By the way, I could write a short story based on this video alone.
19. Nirvana – All Apologies
Another guy that shouldn't have died so young.
20. Jane’s Addiction – Been Caught Stealin
One of the awesomest 90's videos ever... Fuck a man dressed as a pregnant lady stealing a pineapple while Perry Farrel has a stocking on his head and there's a dance off on aisle 4??????????? SHIT YES
Veruca Salt gave sweet girls who want to rock a forum to express themselves. Or that's what I could come up with while writing the description for this song. Just click the link and remember this random 90's track :D
Wow, Hootie pretty much blows the fish if you see all their catalogue, but this song still makes me giggle from sheer nostalgia. Click the link above and remember the good times when they DIDN'T appear in BK ads.
23. The Cranberries – Linger
A song that I still enjoy to this day especially when my nipples are a little sensitive and I'm craving chocolate. JK. This is a great song and a band I really liked... and still do.
When you get your songs covered by Tool, you've done something right. I'm a big Kyuss fan and a lot of people don't even know they existed. What a shame. But no worries, one of their best tracks for your enjoyment is just a click away.
25. House of Pain – Jump Around
Forever allowing white people to think they can dance Hip Hop, here be some jumping around for your enjoyment.
Ok now that I got that glimpse of sunshine out of the way, let's look at a commercial I truly hate.
Quite simply, I'm not sure which of these two girls I'd slap first. They're such BFFs that it just pisses me off cuz I know one is going to blow the other one's BF eventually. And there's something about adoring Katy Perry and Lady Gaga that causes me to reflux. Oh, and if your favorite thing is to listen to music on your headphones while hanging out, then woe is me for not feeling bad when you're in your 40's depressed because you married Porkchop, the star linebacker from high school football with a 2.0 GPA and a tobacco chewing habit.
Here at WAS we're pretty much experts at things that suck. But in a change of pace how bout a list of things that DON'T suck. It's a challenge in itself to focus on the good rather than the bad, and hey... it's a long weekend, so this deserves to be a long list. So from your resident Joker, here's my list of 100 things that don't suck:
100 things that don’t suck
1. Mrs. Joker 2. My Family 3. My real friends (From the WAS crew and beyond) 4. Surfing 5. Good movies 6. Good beer 7. Writing for the pleasure of it 8. Casual Friends 9. Long emails 10. Cherry Cola 11. Ice Cream 12. Reading a good book 13. Seeing a silly movie 14. Videogames 15. Boxing 16. Juan Manuel Márquez 17. Sushi 18. Steak 19. Cds 20. People who say please and thank you 21. People who say good morning 22. Obeying the laws of traffic 23. Seeing someone pick up trash that isn’t theirs 24. Making someone laugh 25. Helping someone out 26. Equality 27. Overcast days with no wind and good waves 28. The ocean 29. Lighthouses 30. Getting inspired 31. Bringing your own booze and having a blast 32. Playing guitar 33. Singing in the privacy of your own shower 34. 80’s cartoons 35. 90’s music 36. Pearl Jam 37. Tool 38. Soundgarden Reuniting 39. Seeing a great concert live 40. Great conversations 41. Cotton Candy 42. Popcorn 43. Wine 44. Finding random knowledge 45. Talking to anyone 46. My favorite sushi place and my favorite Italian place 47. Nice people 48. Having someone open the door for you or saying thank you when you do the same 49. Small talk 50. Sunny days 51. Beautiful landscapes 52. Finding $20 in your pant pocket 53. Writing something truly creative 54. Writing something someone else can relate to 55. Recycling 56. Really going green 57. Technology for the benefit of mankind 58. 2D movies 59. Going on vacation 60. People who have your back 61. Good news 62. People who say excuse me 63. Playing a videogame that makes you feel like a kid 64. Doing something silly because it’s fun 65. Being the same though evolving just enough to show you have matured 66. Making out 67. Making love 68. Giving a big hug 69. Helping an old lady cross the street 70. Having manners 71. Making someone spit their soda from laughing so hard 72. Lunch breaks with old friends 73. A good cup of tea 74. Finishing a videogame that has haunted you since you were a teen 75. Surprise phone calls 76. Real mail 77. Waking up feeling refreshed 78. Being motivated for no reason whatsoever 79. Amusement Parks 80. A really good pen that writes perfectly 81. A long warm bath 82. Eating something new that you absolutely love 83. Ice cream 84. Underdogs winning 85. Friends who call to offer help without you needing to beg 86. Writing a good song 87. Singing karaoke and not sucking or sucking WAY bad 88. Buying a round for friends 89. Being able to help someone in need 90. Walking around and exploring a city like New York 91. Sunsets 92. Sunrises 93. Long weekends 94. Having a good memory 95. Going for coffee and good conversation 96. Traveling 97. Finding new Music 98. Knowing a little about everything 99. Being there for a friend who needed you 100. You for reading a list this long
Thanks to Jake P, first for being a nice guy and writing to us and second, for sending us this way kick ass link which made me laugh extremely hard. Enjoy!
Further proof that advertising is full of self-serving assholes, a big multi-national shop thinks it is going to solve the crisis in the Middle East. Forget the fact that the situation has been bubbling for thousands of years. Check it out at TheImpossibleBrief.com
People, when will we realize that advertising in not that important? We don't cure cancer, and we sure as hell ain't gonna make Jews and Muslims love each other.
I've been on this business quite a while and it still amazes me how much damage it does to people on a daily basis. I've seen marriages crumble, friendships fucked over, people get sick as hell, kids missing their parents... I currently know some people who have no life, their relationships are almost up to the breaking point and the thing is, they haven't noticed that the train is coming, full force.
Well, one of my dearest friends got a reality check and has decided to move out of the way. In "Lemonade" fashion (the documentary about leaving advertising and changing careers), she has finally seen the light. She doesn't really want to do this anymore. Hallelujah. One more has joined my camp.
Let's backtrack a bit. A couple of weeks ago I went to lunch with my best friend of all time, my almost sister. We sat down, ordered the mandatory white wine and started yapping away about life. And around the time when we started talking about how different we thought about marriage - me not so interested in getting hitched and her all excited about her new husband - she got serious. Very serious.
She was concerned that she was working way too much. For the first time in all her life, this worker bee who absolutely loves the thrill of advertising and all its "glory", suddenly is seeing the light. She doesn't have quality of life. She's working all day until 8-9 pm. She hardly sees her husband, only at nights and she's usually very tired. She's worried that if this type of work is ongoing, she's only headed back to divorce.
Well, she's right. But not only because she got married and she wants to be a good wife. She is right also because NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS DESERVE TIME TO ENJOY LIFE.
Look. Advertising is great, we do crazy shit. We meet cool people. We sometimes get to do something creative and get people to kiss our behinds, telling us how amazing our brains are. Yeah. That lasts for maybe 5 years or so. Then it hits you. You are just doing this ad campaign. That is all. That ad campaign that you worked so damn hard for months or maybe a year will maybe last less than whan you worked on it. Sad, but true.
The thing is, there are two types of people. There are ones - like me and RestrictionsApply - who know for sure they don't want to do it anymore. Not because they want to do something else just for the fun of it. Nope, we just outgrew the hype of the job. It has become mechanical.
Get brief. Do creative. Show campaign. Get revisions. Publish. Repeat.
When it dawns on you that your life is very close to a shampoo instruction, it's time to let it go and move forward. This is what my friend is noticing. That all this time is being wasted on a cycle that never ends.
Either you can choose to do this when you are fifty... or you can just walk away and do something else. Explore a new future.
Ah. But I'm prepared to do this and only this. WRONG. If you have a decent brain, you can do anything you want. If you are responsible, organized and a decent human being, you can learn any new trade, you can work anywhere NOT related to advertising. If you really want to, you can.
So yeah. My friend is now exploring a change of careers. How wonderful, another ad person, recovered. And while I still do work in advertising, I've left the "big agency" game. That means that I do have a life, I do have time for my family, my boyfriend and friends.
And when my baby comes - soon, I hope - I will have time for him. Or her.
Now the question is... when will YOU get reality check?
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Just got a company-wide email from our Agency President announcing that one of his many Senior Vice Presidents has decided to leave the agency after 15 years… to spend more time with her family.
Why is this a WAS-worthy post? Because once again the Agency vs. Personal Life Theorem is proved correct: One cannot have a life AND work at an agency.
What made this announcement even more shocking was the SVP in question: the hard-core, über-executive, fridge-in-the-office, lunch-at-my-desk, sleep-is-for-pussies type. I didn’t even know she “had a family.”
The other shocking thing was the tone of the email. You could totally sense the president’s disgust and disappointment. The message between the lines was clear: This woman has betrayed us and is going to become a no one because she chose family over career.
