The poster that never was...

Be there! The Rally to Restore Sanity (And or Fear)

Peter, this one's for you: Meet "Trouble and Maker"

Anatomy of a $35,000 brochure

In celebration of the bureaucracy that plagues the modern office, allow me to share the following TRUE story:

Client (a bank) buys out another bank. They need to print up a simple brochure telling their newly acquired customers that things will be better now that their banking needs are going to be addressed by our client.

The assignment: A simple, three-fold (8.5”x 11” folded in three), color brochure, with dirt-cheap stock images, printed on cheap-ass tissue paper. About 50,000 copies. Simple, right?

Well, the agency ended up charging $35,000 for said brochure.

What!

Yes, $35,000… and the client PAID it in full, no questions asked.

Let me break it down:

· Client waited until the very last minute to green light the project, meaning Friday afternoon approval, which means working over the weekend, because printers had to run first thing Monday morning.

· The paste-up department (which is subcontracted by the agency for these types of projects) charges overtime rates when working weekends. This means one person charging the equivalent of three people.

· The freelance writer assigned to the project also charges overtime weekend rates. This means that another person is charging the equivalent of three people.

· Client spends all day Saturday designing, writing, and revising… repeat. Remember, two people are charging what six people would normally charge. PLUS the agency’s rush fee, which the client somehow agreed to.

· Sunday – another 10 hours of designing, writing, and revising.

· Monday – another few hours of designing, writing, and revising… AND a super expensive stock image, the only photo everyone could agree on.

· Tuesday, the final art goes to printers… PLUS the printer’s late fee

Final Price Tag: $35,000.

As for you, my dear reader, good luck selling that $300 logo.

Happy Halloween! Five Movies that scared the sh*t out of: ME.

'Tis the season to be gory, fa la la la la, la la la la. Happy Halloween everybody! Yep, it's that wonderful time of the year when men dress up as what they want to be in life and women... like sluts. Everything dead is celebrated, and we all dust off the scary movies to see if we still get shit scared. So, what better way to join the gory celebrations than by going back in time and deciding what 5 movies made me not sleep, walk dark areas shit scared and have nightmares for months?

In order of how much scared I got - and remember, most of them I saw when I was a child, so bear with me 'cause now I don't get scared at all:

1) The Shining.
Sometimes if I walk a long hallway in a hotel I will shit my pants slowly. Thank you Stanley Kubrick.

2) Alien.
Man... I hate cockroaches and more so when they are 6 feet tall and designed by HR Giger. Inside joke, sometimes when I'm working the nightshift at the agency I will say "kill... me..." like the chick in the movie waiting to be eaten in the pod.

3) Stephen King's It.
Remove the giant spider. Just focus on the HOLY FREAKING CLOWN brought to life brilliantly by Tim Curry (of Rocky Horror Picture Show fame) and you will get a woman who REFUSES to celebrate ANY birthday with a clown. Period.

4) Poltergeist 1 and 2.
Holy Jesus, man. Than movie made tv's static scary, made old people scary, made watching your face at night scary. Oh and another movie where clowns are a no-no. I cannot sit through the scene of the little boy and the clown without flinching a bit. And I'm a fucking adult.

5) Jaws.
Come on. Tell me you can swim in deep blue water (don't give me at a four feet deep beach), no land for 30 minutes and sing the "tah-dah-tah-dah" Jaws song without freaking the hell out and thinking your limb is going to be eaten. Being able to snorkel and swim in deep waters after that is a triumph.




So there you go, these are the five movies that forever will be a little bit scary and a little bit nice. What are yours? Write us here or at our twitter!

Be safe on Halloween night, you kids out there! Much creepy love, Me.

Flickr's "Passive Aggresive Notes" is the best thing ever.

This is one website or twitter you have to check out every once in a while... besides ours. Click for more at the name of the post.

Seurat... LIVE!

Google Maps: Eagles edition

You gotta see this movie, and it has to be right now: The Inside Job

Let me tell you something, you can tell every zombie, Kevorkian, devil and blood sucking vampire to come and kill me, the Inside Job is much more scarier. I can remember all of us who watched this documentary in the theater doing loud gasps, like when you see something disturbing on any regular slasher movie. Yup, this is one scary mo'fo movie. And the worst part is: it's absolutely real.

The Inside Job, in a nutshell, is a Moron-Proof guide to what happened to the Economy and how it crashed. While we see CNN and more news outlets trying to explain it all, this movie is a clear cut step by step process that helps any regular Joe understand perfectly how it all became shit.

Nope, it isn't a conspiracy theory. This movie is just the facts, ma'am. They interview almost all the people who were involved in some way before, during and after the crisis (um, note to self, it hasn't ended) and goes date by date and fact by fact, telling it like it is.

For people who have no clue on what happened or people like me, who understood the situation but didn't have clear HOW REALLY BAD is it, how it can affect your life in the long run, how it can affect your business, your house, your investments... you really need to do yourself a favor and watch it. Because you will not get this type of detailed explanation from any news source.

This is the wonder about independent documentaries. While yes, there are some directors out there who just say whatever they think, then there are the ones that research the bejeezus out of it, try to interview and study all the little details so that the people know what really happened.

The film was screened this year at Sundance and was picked up by Sony. It is narrated brilliantly by Matt Damon and trust me, this is one movie you will not be able to stop watching or either forget.

How so? Well I remembered to write about this movie when I was at Merrill Lynch. Talk about irony...

Click at the name of the post for more info. Remember, when movies like this one don't actually get near you, you can either Netflix them or rent them via iTunes. Enjoy!

People who Annoy Me, Volume 9: Lady Gaga.

Let me see if I got this straight. Once upon a time during the 1980's there was a blonde woman who used sex to get noticed in the music business. She changed her image a shitload of times and made everyone want to emulate her (um, not everyone 'cause I had a serious thing about being myself instead of someone else, but that is another story). Woman wanted to be her, men wanted to screw her. In a couple of years, she was famous. Then the 80's ended and all human kind moved on to different artists.

I must be remembering things very well. So why the fuck do we now have a Madonna Wannabe who wears meat dresses... and most importantly, why is she the greatest thing since sliced bread? We had this moment already in history! We had that woman, she did all the sexy videos, the things that made catholics tremble, yada yada yada! Why are we reliving this shit again and with a woman that is 100 times more of a douche than the original person?

I mean... I didn't like Madonna all that much when I was a little girl, but at least I acknowledge the fact that she paved the way for little shits like Gaga. But now everytime I see someone drooling over one video or one photo shoot, I wonder if it's the fact that the current generation is so centered around them that they don't know that before they came, loads of bigger and yes - much talented artists were already doing much more than the current "stars".

I have sat down and listened to her songs. I cannot find anything remotely interesting besides a catchy tune. She can sing ok - although her voice sometimes reminds me of Abba's chicks, check it out - but I am not floored by her whatsoever. Oh yes, I have to admit she is no Ashley Simpson. She can sing live, and she can play her instruments. Lord have mercy, like any musician can do. Perfect. But if you clean all the crap videos, weird as shit image and the Oh-I'm-Just-Making-Art attitude and you get just a decent imitation of someone.

And why is she so annoying beyond all I've said? The meat dress. Sorry. That was just as stupid as Kanye's "Imma let you finish". Just a douche move.

Life is expensive.

Why I love Flickr: Volume 6

To walk out of O'Reilly or Not. That is the question.

This has been bugging me ever since I saw it.

Bill O'Reilly, one of the biggest douches of all human history was invited to The View (see the video and then keep reading). Having watched the video a couple of times, either by internet or the news, I am baffled by my reaction. I am completely confused by what I ended up thinking, so maybe if I write it down I might find a decent answer to this small dilemma.

I wouldn't have walked out of that interview.

Jesus H Christ, someone call the doctor, I might need some medication or even therapy. What is wrong with me? All the cells in my body are shouting that it would be impossible to sit there and listen to that man say absurd things like he did and NOT walk away in disgust. But my mind is telling me different. So here is the question. Is it ok that Whoopi and Joy did walk away from a total douchebag idiot moron?

Here lies the conflicting thought. To leave or not to leave, that is the question. And wait a minute... why the fuck am I so interested in a segment of The View, for God's sake? Am I so bored? Dammit! With all the important things about life that DO really matter...

Wait, wait. This does matter. Because if some idiot decides to open his mouth and spread misinformation or idiotic opinions as fact, it SHOULD matter that we take a stand and actually care. There are the facts and then there are opinions of people. And the thing is, for some unknown reason that I sometimes pray it will stop, O'Reilly has power. Many thousands or even millions listen to this man every single day - wasting valuable brain cells, but nonetheless they do listen. They agree with him, sometimes having no clue of what he's talking about. Well, he does come from a station who LOVES to spin news to what they want them to be, allegedly. I for one cannot even stand to watch his program because I get very angry. News shouldn't be mixed with hidden agendas and shit theories.

Anyway...

So I sat down and decided that I too wouldn't have walked out of that interview. Maybe I would have gone silent and bit my tongue so I wouldn't start screaming at him. What Walters forgets is that bigotry and ignorance, that close to anyone who has a brain, is very difficult to digest. Yes, we are living in a volatile world. We are very angry. But we do have a point. There are many people like this douchebag, who actually believe the kind of idiotic facts that he says, just because he is who he is. And that is the problem. Morons procreate by imitation, and this dude is the master copy of them all.
We need to stop talking about other cultures, religions and countries based on sheer opinions. There are some bad people out there who belong to ALL KINDS of religion. Some people have caused many anguish and pain to everyone in the world. So to generalize by religion or by nationality is just plain wrong. Yes, there are evil people out there, but there's the rest of us.

We have to stop judging by the color of our skin, by the God that we worship (or in my case none whatsoever), the land that we live in. Every single country in this Earth has some people or even groups that cause harm. It does not mean that I am evil because I share the land where we live or the same culture. Bad people are just that, bad people.

I mean... come on. Letting O'Reilly speak is prolonging bigotry and hate. But I would have sat there and insisted on my point being heard. We cannot walk away when ignorance is right in front of our faces.

Can't we all just get along?

The Passive Agressive Notes Slideshow. Most epic.

Click for more at the name of the post.

Don't take it personal and thank you for coming.

Last sunday I sat down to talk with a dear friend of mine who has been working on a certain ad agency for more than a decade now. Seems that my friend is on a current path to status quo and I wanted to know if a detour was coming in the future or not. You see, if you stop growing where you work, at least it's in my book that you should move on. Life is too short to find yourself doing the exact same thing forever and ever, right?

More so when you have a person who is very talented, who has the capacity to do great things. You just cannot see that talent go to, well, basically career purgatory. Bring out the coffee my man and let's sit down to see where you're at...

Fast forward, he's telling me about how important the fact is that he has been working at the same place for years and years now, and that he has "given" all those years to the agency... and that he wants some kind of acknowledgment. He doesn't want to quit, he wants just for the CEO to realize how much he has worked for him. He proceeded to tell me that the agency has grown because of people like him and many others who have worked with him there.

Don't take it personal, but giving your all at your place of work isn't something award worthy. You are supposed to work your ass off. You are supposed to be dedicated and try your best to make your work shine. Oh, you gave 9 years? Fabulous. You are still working and you have been there for 15 years? Insanely amazing. Now get back to work.

Staying at a certain place of work for a lot of years doesn't make you special for any CEO! Trust me, been there got a tshirt, you are just another person like anyone else. Yes, granted, there are many corporations out there who value loyalty, but advertising is another cup of tea. You cannot think that if years pass by and you don't move up on your corporate ladder, they are suddenly say that you are so valuable by growing old with them!

I believe that staying too long in any job is a bit dangerous if you see yourself exactly the same this year as a couple back. If you don't have more responsibilities, if you are not supervising anything after all your experience, if you are doing the exact same thing... then you need to think very hard on what you want out of your career. Do you want to run in circles all your life or do you want to break out? Hey, don't get me wrong. There are many people that I know who are the best circle runners and they enjoy their life just as it is. And then there are the ones that would give their arm for more challenges so they can feel they are moving in some way to another step in their careers. Whatever makes them happy, you know?

But sitting there waiting for the "You are so amazing and loyal" medal is just a mistake. It is never going to come. And thinking that this is the only thing that matters when deciding to stay or leave a corporation is sort of a wrong move. Ok let me put this a bit more clear...

Your ad agency doesn't owe you anything.

Jesus, ok you need to sit down, breathe. BREATHE! Yeah! I know! That was tough to read. I know! Ok so relax and take it easy. Hard news are just that, just a moment of stress and then... chill. Yeah, it's sad. Corporations, in a very happy go lucky world, are supposed to move you up in positions, encourage loyalty, award excellence. That time has passed. In this new world, where people are doing our jobs for a quarter and a sandwich, you are just another worker bee. So what that you've been there for a decade or more? Yeah, maybe one day you'll get a gold watch.

So whatever you are, the comfortably numb person who doesn't mind having the same business card and the same position for 20 years... or the hard core nut busting worker who wants the CEO's blood for dinner, enjoy your life just like it is. But remember, it is YOUR choice to stay there. Don't expect any applause.

This is one of those posts which prove the name of our blog, big time. Advertising - still - sucks.

What Makes a Great Comedy?

More Monsters! More!

One Cool Tv Spot: Ariston

I'm on a... Cow?

Now why didn't I have this when I was in College?

Monsters are cool.

Netflix alert! The Infidel

Chi-chi-chi, le-le-le. In other words, enjoy life.

If there is one thing we need to take away from the whole Chile experience is this: at the end of the day, we need to enjoy life to the fullest and give a shit about banal problems. I find myself worrying too much about stuff I really could care less. I try my best to be a decent human being in all the ways I can. But I cannot make everyone happy sometimes, I cannot deliver all the shit that my clients need sometimes, I cannot buy stuff that I need sometimes, yada yada yada.

But I really need to stop worrying about other people/situations and start enjoying myself and my life, even more than I do now.

As I sat there watching miner by miner come up back to civilization, and knowing the fact that they stayed there for almost more than two months, I was deeply ashamed of ever complaining about stupid shit. Or even feeling bad or guilty about idiotic things. These men showed me, and the world, that there are bigger fish to fry.

Life is damn short and pretty cool if you decide to notice. By getting angry, by getting sad, by feeling jaded or noticing the bad things about your day, you are missing out on feeling like those miners, sans the accident.

Yeah, you don't need to fall in a hole miles deep in earth to actually realize how good you have it. If you have friends who actually care about you, if you have someone to back you up when you need them the most, if your family doesn't hate your guts and actually sort of enjoy your company and viceversa, if your children think you are cool 75% of the time... if you have all that, then trust me, you're good.

Oh but how about when you let down someone, how about when you are way too stressed to be happy, how about when your kids are misbehaving to the point of medication, how about the really shitty moments in life? Well, they're just that. Shitty moments that maybe last from 15 minutes to a couple of hours. We're not perfect. I am definitively sure I am far from it. But I need to stop worrying about being perfect for my family, for my friends, for my love. Billy Joel said it best when he sang about not changing and people loving you just the way you are.

If we all start to remember the good times that people, family, loved ones and friend give us, we'll notice that the bad moments are really few. Will it take an accident to make you realize this?

I sure don't need to be stuck down Earth to do so.

Bravo to all the men who decided to survive and teach us a lesson or two on sheer determination to live and Gracias to all the incredible people who joined the fight to keep them alive and get them back home. Que vivan los mineros de Chile.

Bill O'Reilly's Heated Fight on 'The View'

Shake Weight for Men... or in another words, hand job practice?

What kills me are the reactions. Totally uncalled for. Really.

One of the most amazing films I've seen in a long time: CATFISH!

Last saturday I got on a taxi cab and told the driver to step on it. I had to get to the movies at noon, because I didn't want to miss out on seeing Catfish.

Te funny thing is, I was speeding myself to a movie I hadn't even seen the trailer, not read about it... no nothing. All I knew was that people said it was awesome and that they couldn't tell anything about the movie so everyone could enjoy the ride.

And boy did I enjoy that movie. For me, it's Oscar worthy. Period.

So how can I review Catfish without telling you what happened? Well, if you have it showing near you, for God's sake, don't read any review who might have a spoiler. Don't watch anything BUT the trailer. If you do, you will miss out on getting totally surprised and astonished like never before.

Catfish is that good, because of one thing: it is a true story. And no, it is not a movie about what happened to someone and they are recalling it from memory. It is a movie that was being shot for one thing and suddenly... it turned out to be a complete different thing. And the genius thing was, they didn't stop shooting.

Ok so the documentary is sort of a cautionary tale, if you will, about how Facebook can impact your life in the most weird and amazing way. It is also a lesson on how the internet knows every little detail about you (which I have been preaching for as long as I can remember), and that it can be used to find out anything you want.

The other day I read a little copy line about the movie that said: "the last 40 minutes will have you at the end of your seat". Yup, that's about right. Another writer said something to the effect that this movie was "The Best Hitchcock Film Hitchcock Never Directed". Yeah, that as well.

Damn I am so sorry that I cannot even tell you the basic plot. I really don't want to spoil it, so the only thing I can do is show you the trailer and you figure it out. If you don't have this movie showing where you live, ask for it. Call your movie theater and go get your Catfish.

Love, Me.

Great Flick alert: 127 Hours

One Cool Marriage Proposal.

What the...

When the Superhuman feeling runs out...

Funny how I always tell people to chill and take it easy but when it comes to myself, I push and push way too hard.

I'm exhausted.

Too many things happening at the same time have reminded me in a very fucked up way that I am just made out of meat and bones and am not in any way gifted with any kind of superhuman powers. Sometimes when it rains, it pours. Well, what we have here is a damn huge hurricane. Grab on to something, this is going to take a while.

The thing is, I cannot whine too much. While I'm experiencing the weirdest and most stressful days in a long time, for no real apparent reason, I cannot sit here and tell you how bad I have it. Why? Because out there, people have way deeper problems than me.

So this post is some sort of therapy session. Ok, Me. Take it easy, you will sort all the shit out little by little. Remember, things suddenly cram themselves up and you don't have a moment to breathe, but this is just for a little while.

Besides, there are drug junkies and there are worry junkies, just like you. All the things that are happening are normal. Nothing bad is going to happen, you're just scared of... well... changes. Now you go be a big girl and handle each one of them.

Why do I write this post? Well, this is for all you guys who are passing through deep and intense moments in your life, who are trying just barely to hang on and are desperate for a hand to grab you while you do it. Trust me, I know how it feels. Life can be easy breezy and suddenly it just becomes too much to bear.

The single most important thing you can do is acknowledge when you need help. Oh yes, news flash. We all need help. Want to know the signs of a stressed body? By all means, I have it (research is my forte). You are in deep shit if you have any of the following:

• Insomnia
• Deep sense of sadness/anxiety
• Loss of appetite
• Daytime fatigue
• Irritability
• Difficulty concentrating
• Sleep that never feels like "enough"
• Trouble falling asleep
• Trouble going back to sleep after waking up during the night
• Waking up at all hours of the night or before the alarm clock goes off

The laundry list can go on and on. So, if you have any of the following and are feeling a bit off, trust me, you need help. Reach out to someone. Anyone with a pulse.

We all need someone to back us up. And yes, we sometimes need to reach out and get help in any way we can. Friends and family are like gasoline... when you are running on empty all you need is a hug, a smile, a little chat and bingo, you're full again.

So thank you for those who are out there who have been my gas pump in these few days, you have literally pushed me to go some extra miles. And for those out there who need someone to hold their hand (Hey Lucy, I'm watching you), remember that you have people who love you, who care for you and that wish you day by day that you are ok.

Just remember to breathe and... I cannot believe I'm actually going to say this but... you need to have faith.

Much love and good wishes. Me.

Baby gets a Memo

Norton Anti Hasselhoff.

Rest in Peace, Sally.

This week the world and Quentin Tarantino lost a great editor, Sally Menke. To celebrate her life, here is the last Hi Sally Quentin did while making Inglorious Basterds. Sally, you will be missed dearly.

The Unhealthy Obsession of Hating your Job.

I don't know if I'm living one of those moments of sheer enlightenment, maybe I have my life clear and what I need to do to fix the things I don't like... or maybe I'm just tired of people talking negative shit. All I know is, in this particular moment in time and space, I'm annoyed at people who live to hate their jobs... and actually don't do a thing to change it.

Yep, we all know them, they are all around us. We know the guy that has been talking about quitting that crap job for years. We know the other guy who is pissed off, hates his pay, the boring cycle, the stupid clients... but has been at his desk for years and years without changing any ad agency... I can go on and on.

Look. This is damn awful simple. Don't like your job? I'll give you a solution that will fucking BLOW your mind. Ready? You better sit down for this. Ok, you ready? FIND ANOTHER DAMN JOB!

There is ABSOLUTELY no excuse whatsoever to stay where you don't feel good at. NOT ONE. How do I know? Batter up! I'm going to give you all the crap excuses I've heard THIS MONTH and I will knock them out of the park, one by one...

Shit Excuse #1: There are no jobs available in advertising.
BULLSHIT. There are jobs, you just need to figure out if you are willing to do another thing not related to advertising so that you can actually get time to calm down and smile for a damn minute. There are jobs in advertising as well, you just need to grab the wonderful item called A PHONE and make a damn call once in a while. No, the last time I heard the Fairy Godmother only appeared to help Cinderella, so don't be thinking that the line will start ringing with jobs galore. YOU NEED TO CALL PEOPLE. Everyday. Every single day! Don't tell me it's not possible. I did it for almost a year once, because I hated so much and with so intense passion where I worked, it turned out to be the most empowering moment of the day.

Oh but I sent my resume via email/fax/regular mail! SO WHAT? Thinking that your job search only requires that you dial or click your way out of it is idiotic. There are NO guarantees that any paper will be received by the right person. The key to making this work is: you get the name of the person that it needs to get to; you find all available numbers/emails that you need to send it; you give it 48 hours and call - yes, CALL requires your voice and the actual person connected - the person that you sent it to to see if they got it and to personally tell them that you are available at ANY time they choose to. No, no secretaries. You need to talk to the person that will hire you.

Crap Excuse #2: Other jobs available don't pay me as much as this one.
Reality check. Sometimes pay cuts are the only way out to a semi-decent normal life. For those out there with families or extreme responsibilities this is shit hard to do and I totally understand not going the pay cut route. Your kids need to eat and go to school. Period. You cannot do it. Now... if you don't have a kid, or even a damn dog, you have ABSOLUTELY no excuse. You can live with less amount of money. Been there got a tshirt. Moved out of my apartment, cancelled Netflix, Cable and other luxuries. Got myself a 20 buck weekly allowance and period. I lived on.

But and a big but, thinking that it's impossible to land a job that has the salary requirements that you need is not real. There are jobs, few but they are. You just need to fight to the death for them. Also, you need to take a moment and really think about what you are prepared to do to find a better life.

Are you ready to move? Change countries? Change careers? The more rules you put, the more difficult you will find getting a job. Talk to your family/husband/pimp and explore the wonderful world called possibilities.


Idiotic Excuse #3: I have no time.
Then shut up. Really. From now on, you are not allowed to whine about your job. Nope! Sorry, your whining license has been revoked by an authorized WAS personnel. If you think you don't have time to look for a job, then... oh you might need to grab on to something... YOU REALLY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN LEAVING YOUR JOB. Oh Lord! What a thought, right? The math... oh wow... the math is so simple:

Person interested in a better job + Actually moving your ass and calling = Person with a new job!

If you think that this cop out bullshit of having no time to quit is a decent excuse, then let me tell you, you are lying to yourself in the most pathetic way. Wake up and smell the crap: if you want Ice Cream at 11pm, you get your ass in that car and go get your Cookies and Cream on, right? Then getting a new job is exactly the same. Yeah! You get in that car, you grab that phone, you read all the available employment websites/newspaper sections and you get your resume out there. If you wanted to do it, you WOULD take time out of the day. Oh but all I have time for is lunch time. Well, eat while you dial that phone.

Damn it! I really hope that people out there get this punch in the gut and actually do something instead of watching themselves drown in something that is so damn easy to get out of. I know the economy is bad, I know jobs are difficult to find. But you know what? Thinking, for example, that you can only design or only write copy is NOT an excuse to find a job.

You have eyes.

You have hands.

You have legs.

You have a brain. (Well, we hope so anyway)

Then you have all the tools you need to get yourself a new job. Whether it's in advertising or not, it's your choice. But life has no boundaries. You cannot say that your work needs to color inside any particular line. I would be a great receptionist if life told me to. At least I would be happy and not whine and whine!

Life is more simple than you think. Don't like one thing about yours?

CHANGE IT.

Hoping that you see the light... Me.