This is the kind of story that infuriates me to the point of being insulted. Maybe it's because at some point it sort of happened to me, maybe it is the fact that I wish that when I quit the "agency life" a couple of years ago, that when I quit the story would have been different. But this post is not about me quitting. It's about a friend.
She quit her job yesterday night.
So while I cannot go into detail of what happened exactly so that I don't reveal who she is, I really need to tell this part of the story because it has all happened to us at one point. She just reminded me of this last night as we yapped and celebrated her big moment... and I knew I had to write about this.
Here we go. Completely true story.
So after she tells her boss the bad news and presents that lovely letter we all have written with glee, her boss proceeds to tell her how surprised he is of the fact that she is quitting. Hm. So he didn't notice the many times she was frustrated - and told him so - about how disorganized the agency was, how poorly the resources were used (creatives mainly) and how little time HE gave the team to react and make decent presentations. Ok, we'll give him that. A good CEO is one that is sort of blind to reality, I guess. I can remember the last agency I worked for, the CEO didn't even know the names of the people that worked there. He just referred to you as "Hey" or "You there". Seems that not knowing the details, the people who work there, who works great and who doesn't isn't an important part of making the business grow.
Here comes the award winning - and post deserving - moment of the night: he tells her that he thought of her as a valuable asset to the company and that he had plans of using her as a part of the growing business of the agency. Ok so this loosely translates to: she was considered an important worker. Right? If I try to analyze that phrase I only return to that basic statement, that she was considered as an important key to the agency's success.
So when she continued to talk about quitting, he NEVER offered her (sorry for the repetition) a counter offer. While he did ask if (and I quote) "we can do something" to keep her, he didn't insist or either even tell her that he was going to work on an offer to stay even if she didn't want to stay.
This bugs the SHIT out of me. I mean it!
This part of the post is now strictly directed to all the CEO's or CD's who get to fire/hire/listen to people quit:
Listen. I know it's all about money. I now have a small agency so I know that it's all about making numbers. Sometimes you DO have to let people go to make the bottom line. But you mean to tell me that you are willing to let go someone who makes YOUR agency shine, who delivers and gives 500% to make YOUR agency be the best it can be... and you stand there just watching them go WITHOUT A COUNTEROFFER?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? It doesn't make any sense at all! I understand that no one is indispensable in a company... but there are some instances where good quality people are truly needed and it would be a huge mistake to let them go so easily. Why are you not willing to FIGHT for good people? WHY?
What is wrong with offering something to keep them, if you respect and need them so much? Or is it my theory: are you talking out of your ASS? You know what? BE HONEST. Tell them the fucking truth so they can leave with their head held high.
"I love how you work but it's ok, I can find two less paying workers who can try to imitate your work ethic". Wait, better than that. Just say: "Thank you for coming". By telling your quitting employee that you THOUGHT that they were part of the team but you are NOT WILLING to give them an offer to stay, what you are doing is proving that, in fact, you don't really consider them one of your team. They are just people who work under you. Their dedication is not a key. You just magically make the numbers because some holy person really likes your agency. Nah, it's not about the long hours they put in, how many days they spend working on a campaign, the months that they study and do research... nah.
Well you know what? While some people in your agency really suck at what they do, I can BET MY ASS that inside that building there are two or three really good people that are giving you everything but blood and DNA to make YOU make money. They haven't been with their kids for months. They have missed weddings, anniversaries, kids plays, gotten home extremely late for weeks at a time... Because they really love being there. Because while you don't remember their name, they really love what they do, they get a kick of presenting decent stuff... because they enjoy working at this forsaken business.
And the sad part is, you are not noticing it. You THINK that your agency can do just the same without them.
You are wrong. Those people will just leave for another agency and be their best there... and it will be a total loss to you because you had too much ego to offer them 10k to stay. Someday, when you are in red numbers, the really sad part is that you will blame the economy or bad money management for being in that dire situation... and you won't realize that it's mainly because you have let all your good people go.
What a loss. What a loss.
Nov 30, 2010
Nov 29, 2010
Leslie Nielsen Rules.
Well, there goes another person who at some point was part of my childhood. This is one sad day...
You see, there are stupid movies like... hm... Skyline, for example (my campaign of hate will not end unless I get my money back) and then there were stupid but extremely funny movies like Leslie Nielsen made. And boy did I enjoy them! There have been a lot of imitation of his movies, but none like the first batch that he did. I know that his Airplane line will be said over and over... and even my kids will enjoy his movies as much as I did when I was a little girl.
Leslie, thank you so much for being so damn funny while being so serious. If there are a bunch of movies I will gladly see over and over again, are yours.
I will surely see you in heaven one day. No. I'm not calling you Shirley.
Much love from all the guys at WAS. We'll miss you.
The WAS Challenge, answered! One Brave Creative Director tells it like it is.
I never thought it would actually happen. You see, in my mind, no one reads us (no one writes comments... *snif*) and even less a Creative Director. So when I wrote the challenge, I already had the round of drinks on the betting table.
Well one brave soul decided to take me up on the challenge and bingo, we have the Creative Director who decided to tell it like it is. I have to tell you, this was the most interesting - and sometimes painfully true - reading I've done in quite a while.
What was the method used to write the questions? Alcohol. Yeah, I asked him all the questions us creatives yap about when we're out for a drink, mainly because we're angry at the agency/creative director/CEO/traffic bitch who gave the job days late/idiot client who didn't approve the cool concept. Since I've been at this a long time, I can remember vividly all the questions. (Below his answers are my comments.)
To the very cool CD that answered: Man, you made my day. Thank you so much for writing back to me. I did pay the rounds... Tequila!
So sit back, relax and enjoy the answers. And if you do have a CD who you think can actually write us, please send him/her this post and our email (adssuck@gmail.com).
------------ WHY ADVERTISING SUCKS ASKS A CREATIVE DIRECTOR ----------------
1) Do you sometimes give changes on a campaign and/or ask for it to be redone... simply because you don't like it, even if it's on strategy and could be approved by your client?
Answer: Sort of. I always want to give the client a few options, one of which should be right on strategy, exactly what they're looking for. Other options should reach outside and beyond what the client has asked for. Every deliverable is an opportunity to deepen the client relationship and continue to sell our services. Just because our client contact has given specific direction, their bosses and colleagues may be expecting something more. It's up to the creative team to think beyond the spec list.
As for making changes because I just "don't like" something, I usually give specific reasons for why something isn't working, and direction to get it on track. I have very good relationships with the members of our creative team, so they usual respect my opinion, and I respect theirs.
Me: This is very rare and good. In both mine and my friends experience, we've heard literally "I don't like it" and no decent answer after that. We have been left to try to imagine what the CD wanted. Pure hell.
2) Do you stay with your team if they have to work overtime, even if they don't need you for hours or do you leave and go play Golf or some other thing? If you do leave... do you feel guilty or not?
Answer: I almost always stay LATER than my team. I'm not just a Creative Director, but also a hands-on designer. I only ask the team for extra time if I'm already maxed out. This is something I should work on though, as it isn't fair to me either. Because of this, on the occasions I leave earlier I don't feel guilty.
Me: Damn! All the CD's we've met have no desire to write or design whatsoever. I even met one who didn't even have a computer in front of him. Also I've had CD's who design so bad and "old fashioned", I've had to ask nicely if I can design it again. Can you say awkward?
3) What things creatives do that REALLY annoy you beyond belief?
Answer: Here are my top 3 creative peeves: being rigid, being lazy, being uncooperative.
RIGID: "I've tried everything." Find ways to become inspired. I can't always be your motivational coach. Collaborate with other creatives, look at some online galleries, dare to try something different. Sometimes deliberately exploring some bad ideas will reveal something that actually works.
LAZY: "I don't know what to do." Please try to figure it out. I know carefully planning out exactly what I want and giving you paint-by-number instructions will make your job easier, but I need you to take a stab at it sometimes.
UNCOOPERATIVE: "I don't understand why we have to do this." Sometimes I just need you to trust me and move on with the task at hand. You don't always need to understand it or agree with it.
Me: All I can say is that sometimes we're tired and we need a break but we don't realize this, instead we go bananas or cry like a two year old. In my opinion, it's all about egos. I've seen creatives whine so that you don't change the concept. Sad but true.
4) Why do great creatives get fired instead of crappy ones? Is it all about money at the end?
Answer: Yes, it's all about the money in my experience. I've had no direct control over this, but I've seen it 3 ways:
1. Higher-paid employees are cut to save money and lower paid employees are asked to fill their roles. Not fair to the team.
2. Good people are cut (even lower paid ones) to save the jobs of folks in other areas of the company. Not fair to those cut.
3. Low-paid, "crappy" talent is hired instead of the right talent to fill a critical role. Not fair to anyone.
Me: I KNEW IT! YEAH! We have a confirmation!
5) Tell the truth. Have you presented something that you know is a total crap of an idea but you had no other choice? How did that feel? Is it the creative's fault or do you think you might have asked for more time to do something better?
Answer: Fortunately, no. I haven't had to try to sell something I thought was "total crap". However, I've presented things that the client felt was total crap. That sucks. Whoever is presenting the material should believe in it. If they don't, either the material needs to be modified (needing more time/resources) or whoever can defend it should be part of the presentation.
Me: Oh yeah. I've presented crap. Felt awesome when it got approved. You should try it.
6) Do you realize CD's, by nature, piss creatives off at least 65% of the time? You know. You change stuff, you make us do "wittier" lines... difficult things. Do you live with that fact ok or does it bother you?
Answer: Let me answer this one with a question: Do you realize you are being paid change stuff, make wittier lines, and do difficult things? You're paid to be part of the process, not to just deliver a piece of creative. Otherwise you'd be a fine artist (probably a starving one), creating whatever it is you want, on your terms, and then hoping someone comes along and pays for it. If it pisses you off then it's your problem, unless you become rigid, lazy, or uncooperative (see answer #3).
Me: * pouting * Ok. But... but... I need a raise! (You have a point. Argh!)
7) What have you done to NOT be the Creative Director you had previously that you just can't stand?
Answer: I don't use fear as a motivator. A previous boss of mine controlled with fear and punishment. It's a terrible way to motivate and almost impossible to establish lasting respect.
Me: Can I add that you never shout at us? We already left our moms and dads. (I told you, previous horrible experience)
8) Why do you not buy other things that pizza when we are working late? Do you think that if a creative team is going to work overtime the agency SHOULD buy very decent food?
Answer: Can't say I'm guilty of this one, but what's wrong with pizza? Would Chinese be OK?
Me: NO! No more chinese either! We want decent sandwiches... french food... SUSHI! We want decent sushi!
9) Do you agree that if we work after 11pm that we deserve beers as well?
Answer: In my experience alcohol and productivity don't mix well. Perhaps a post-project celebratory lunch would be cool, beers included. I'm personally not much of a drinker though.
Me: A Creative Director that doesn't drink? Weird. Well, think about buying us beer at some point. The pain of working late goes away and you can ask for a bunch of witty lines. We won't give you grief when we have a nice buzz.
10) Have you ever boldly gone where no CD should go? And yes, we mean have you ever banged a creative. Or thought of it.
Answer: No, I'm married. But if I wasn't, I'm not sure I'd get along well with another creative anyway. Maybe I'd just fool around a bit, just to see how deep creativity really goes. ;-)
Me: I know so many stories about this... way too much information for one post only. :-)
Bonus question: When is it ok to say NO to a client with an impossible deadline? Or do you just ignore the fact that sometimes you need time and deliver the best crap your team can do in that allowed time?
Answer: I/you/we NEED to say "no" when faced with an impossible deadline. Delivering crap should not be a solution. However, sometimes it's not up to us. Sometimes it's an executive, or the sales team, or an account manager that makes the promise to the client, and the creative team has to make good on it. It's a bad spot to be in. Sometimes we can fight the internal battle, but unfortunately it's part of the business.
Me: And don't you wish we could kick them in the balls when they promise absurd deadlines? I mean... a good kick, right in there. The ones that make them go temporarily unable to reproduce? Yeah...
Well one brave soul decided to take me up on the challenge and bingo, we have the Creative Director who decided to tell it like it is. I have to tell you, this was the most interesting - and sometimes painfully true - reading I've done in quite a while.
What was the method used to write the questions? Alcohol. Yeah, I asked him all the questions us creatives yap about when we're out for a drink, mainly because we're angry at the agency/creative director/CEO/traffic bitch who gave the job days late/idiot client who didn't approve the cool concept. Since I've been at this a long time, I can remember vividly all the questions. (Below his answers are my comments.)
To the very cool CD that answered: Man, you made my day. Thank you so much for writing back to me. I did pay the rounds... Tequila!
So sit back, relax and enjoy the answers. And if you do have a CD who you think can actually write us, please send him/her this post and our email (adssuck@gmail.com).
------------ WHY ADVERTISING SUCKS ASKS A CREATIVE DIRECTOR ----------------
1) Do you sometimes give changes on a campaign and/or ask for it to be redone... simply because you don't like it, even if it's on strategy and could be approved by your client?
Answer: Sort of. I always want to give the client a few options, one of which should be right on strategy, exactly what they're looking for. Other options should reach outside and beyond what the client has asked for. Every deliverable is an opportunity to deepen the client relationship and continue to sell our services. Just because our client contact has given specific direction, their bosses and colleagues may be expecting something more. It's up to the creative team to think beyond the spec list.
As for making changes because I just "don't like" something, I usually give specific reasons for why something isn't working, and direction to get it on track. I have very good relationships with the members of our creative team, so they usual respect my opinion, and I respect theirs.
Me: This is very rare and good. In both mine and my friends experience, we've heard literally "I don't like it" and no decent answer after that. We have been left to try to imagine what the CD wanted. Pure hell.
2) Do you stay with your team if they have to work overtime, even if they don't need you for hours or do you leave and go play Golf or some other thing? If you do leave... do you feel guilty or not?
Answer: I almost always stay LATER than my team. I'm not just a Creative Director, but also a hands-on designer. I only ask the team for extra time if I'm already maxed out. This is something I should work on though, as it isn't fair to me either. Because of this, on the occasions I leave earlier I don't feel guilty.
Me: Damn! All the CD's we've met have no desire to write or design whatsoever. I even met one who didn't even have a computer in front of him. Also I've had CD's who design so bad and "old fashioned", I've had to ask nicely if I can design it again. Can you say awkward?
3) What things creatives do that REALLY annoy you beyond belief?
Answer: Here are my top 3 creative peeves: being rigid, being lazy, being uncooperative.
RIGID: "I've tried everything." Find ways to become inspired. I can't always be your motivational coach. Collaborate with other creatives, look at some online galleries, dare to try something different. Sometimes deliberately exploring some bad ideas will reveal something that actually works.
LAZY: "I don't know what to do." Please try to figure it out. I know carefully planning out exactly what I want and giving you paint-by-number instructions will make your job easier, but I need you to take a stab at it sometimes.
UNCOOPERATIVE: "I don't understand why we have to do this." Sometimes I just need you to trust me and move on with the task at hand. You don't always need to understand it or agree with it.
Me: All I can say is that sometimes we're tired and we need a break but we don't realize this, instead we go bananas or cry like a two year old. In my opinion, it's all about egos. I've seen creatives whine so that you don't change the concept. Sad but true.
4) Why do great creatives get fired instead of crappy ones? Is it all about money at the end?
Answer: Yes, it's all about the money in my experience. I've had no direct control over this, but I've seen it 3 ways:
1. Higher-paid employees are cut to save money and lower paid employees are asked to fill their roles. Not fair to the team.
2. Good people are cut (even lower paid ones) to save the jobs of folks in other areas of the company. Not fair to those cut.
3. Low-paid, "crappy" talent is hired instead of the right talent to fill a critical role. Not fair to anyone.
Me: I KNEW IT! YEAH! We have a confirmation!
5) Tell the truth. Have you presented something that you know is a total crap of an idea but you had no other choice? How did that feel? Is it the creative's fault or do you think you might have asked for more time to do something better?
Answer: Fortunately, no. I haven't had to try to sell something I thought was "total crap". However, I've presented things that the client felt was total crap. That sucks. Whoever is presenting the material should believe in it. If they don't, either the material needs to be modified (needing more time/resources) or whoever can defend it should be part of the presentation.
Me: Oh yeah. I've presented crap. Felt awesome when it got approved. You should try it.
6) Do you realize CD's, by nature, piss creatives off at least 65% of the time? You know. You change stuff, you make us do "wittier" lines... difficult things. Do you live with that fact ok or does it bother you?
Answer: Let me answer this one with a question: Do you realize you are being paid change stuff, make wittier lines, and do difficult things? You're paid to be part of the process, not to just deliver a piece of creative. Otherwise you'd be a fine artist (probably a starving one), creating whatever it is you want, on your terms, and then hoping someone comes along and pays for it. If it pisses you off then it's your problem, unless you become rigid, lazy, or uncooperative (see answer #3).
Me: * pouting * Ok. But... but... I need a raise! (You have a point. Argh!)
7) What have you done to NOT be the Creative Director you had previously that you just can't stand?
Answer: I don't use fear as a motivator. A previous boss of mine controlled with fear and punishment. It's a terrible way to motivate and almost impossible to establish lasting respect.
Me: Can I add that you never shout at us? We already left our moms and dads. (I told you, previous horrible experience)
8) Why do you not buy other things that pizza when we are working late? Do you think that if a creative team is going to work overtime the agency SHOULD buy very decent food?
Answer: Can't say I'm guilty of this one, but what's wrong with pizza? Would Chinese be OK?
Me: NO! No more chinese either! We want decent sandwiches... french food... SUSHI! We want decent sushi!
9) Do you agree that if we work after 11pm that we deserve beers as well?
Answer: In my experience alcohol and productivity don't mix well. Perhaps a post-project celebratory lunch would be cool, beers included. I'm personally not much of a drinker though.
Me: A Creative Director that doesn't drink? Weird. Well, think about buying us beer at some point. The pain of working late goes away and you can ask for a bunch of witty lines. We won't give you grief when we have a nice buzz.
10) Have you ever boldly gone where no CD should go? And yes, we mean have you ever banged a creative. Or thought of it.
Answer: No, I'm married. But if I wasn't, I'm not sure I'd get along well with another creative anyway. Maybe I'd just fool around a bit, just to see how deep creativity really goes. ;-)
Me: I know so many stories about this... way too much information for one post only. :-)
Bonus question: When is it ok to say NO to a client with an impossible deadline? Or do you just ignore the fact that sometimes you need time and deliver the best crap your team can do in that allowed time?
Answer: I/you/we NEED to say "no" when faced with an impossible deadline. Delivering crap should not be a solution. However, sometimes it's not up to us. Sometimes it's an executive, or the sales team, or an account manager that makes the promise to the client, and the creative team has to make good on it. It's a bad spot to be in. Sometimes we can fight the internal battle, but unfortunately it's part of the business.
Me: And don't you wish we could kick them in the balls when they promise absurd deadlines? I mean... a good kick, right in there. The ones that make them go temporarily unable to reproduce? Yeah...
A different point of screw: Porno
Men and women are quite different from each other. This isn’t the most brilliant thing I’ve ever written, it’s just something so fucking basic, that it’s amazing so many people still don’t get it and want to compare apples with vaginas. Take most any topic and though you will find people who are in tune, the reality is that there are tendencies among both genders and like morning wood, differences will arise.
Take pornography for instance. While most women I know are marginally curious about pornography, men are expected to treat it as a sport. They compare stats, know names, clearly remember the first porn they saw and find it totally appropriate to dedicate 3 hours to watching porn. Most women I know can get their porn fix, but it’s not like an everyday thing and they don’t have to regularly watch porn. Many are the men whom I know that need to see at least a clip every two or three days. I might add that the amount of guys I know who binge on porn easily outnumber those who occasionally browse.
Then you take the scenes themselves and start analyzing and see that sometimes guys want dialogue and other times they just want new ideas of where to splatter their jizz. We’re taking notes while women watch with mild amusement. I’m not saying that women don’t like or even love porn, I’m just saying that to guys, this is serious business and that emotionally, most of us never make it past that 13 year old mentality.
Then come the fetishes. Black, Asian, Latina, White, Redhead, Blonde, Brunette, real tits, fake tits, schoolgirl outfits, body paint, milfs, teens, food, animals, etc. Pretty much anything that can differentiate one woman from another will be something that a man takes into account when making their porn selection. That’s because us guys are so damn ridiculous that every little detail is enough to justify watching that extra clip. Some of us like big tits, some like small tits, some like handsized, and others just want to be suffocated via mammarian assault. Then you’ve got legs, height, weight, ass, hips, skin color, clothing, outfits, etc. As if that weren’t enough, there’s the attitude. Some porn stars are aggressive, others are submissive. Some give great head and others do freaky shit. Blowjobs, handjobs, footjobs, titty fucking, ass fucking, rim jobs, fisting, smurfing, doggystyle, missionary, cowgirl, etc. Hell if you put face sitting, teddy bear, squirting or gaping in most any search engine, you’re likely to get hundreds or thousands of results. And to a lot of guys, they’d love to see it all.
For a lot of women though, porn is porn is porn. It doesn’t matter what position, what they’re wearing, or who’s fucking, as long as the sex is good, who cares? For men, every single little detail of the sexual act is worthy of a niche following. From positions, to hair styles, to where the people cum, they’re all search parameters that get us that much closer to the finding the exact poison we want to see at a specific point in time.
Then come gonzo flicks, amateur porn, professional porn stars and the gimmicks behind every online site. This girl wears glasses, this one still wears braces, these people fuck in a bus, that site is dedicated to filming scenes of the way you’d love to earn an A in the classroom. Women hear this and they can’t help but see a baseball stat freak mentality applied to porn, and it’s more than just a bit weird and it happens more than you think. Then you ask which is your favorite pornstar and you get such varied answers for different reasons that no wonder women think we’re pigs. Of course, quite often there’s a very tender spot in our hearts for the very first pornstar that really fucked us up as we were growing up.
For me, it was Christy Canyon and I openly say it. For others it was Jenna Jameson, Ginger Lynn, Tracy Lords, Marylin Chambers, Asia Carrera or Kay Parker. Some people found a stray videotape, others clicked play on the VCR one day at 3:00 PM and found the surprise, other people even inherited the family porn, you know that flick that has been passed down for 3 generations and has been jacked off to more than all JC Penney catalogs combined.
To women, I’m pretty sure it isn’t the same because taboos have been firmly established that girls shouldn’t watch or enjoy porn and that masturbating is the devil’s work. Add to this that there are still an ample supply of assholes that insist women who finger themselves are sluts and you see the problem. It’s all due to chauvinism and our double standard ways of life. In my case, I’ve never had a problem with either and actually enjoy when I got that surprise that a girl does really naughty things and has watched her dad’s entire porn collection. I don’t find that slutlike behavior and I actually applaud that I can have a conversation without feeling like a goat boy who emotionally hasn’t surpassed that stage where we almost yank our dicks off from jacking off so much.
But though things have gotten better, women still seem to be forced into behaving ladylike all the time and from a feminist, trust me, you’re just missing out and if you like the type of guy with that mentality, you will most likely stay in your closet of horniness instead of expressing yourself.
And don’t think I’m condoning kids binging on porn either. Hell I had to work for my porn and I came to appreciate each and every single JPEG and magazine I acquired. I would have to wait a minute for a pic and hours for a clip and since it was hard to binge I had some type of control and although I loved porn with a passion, I didn’t feel the need to be fucking at 15, as is the case with tons of kids nowadays. It’s not that teens shouldn’t be sexually curious or even adventurous. Saying the opposite would make me a huge hypocrite, but seriously, with so many fun things that don’t involve a penis inside a vagina to do, I don’t see the rush some kids have to embarrass themselves. Instead of appreciating their adventures, it just becomes another collection hobby and they don’t appreciate any of what they get. Going from making out to fucking is like going from laying down as a baby to a full blown sprint. Though some people may do it, they will inevitably have some sexually cognitive difficulties and won’t know how to get a pussy wet even if they get an instructional manual.
But don’t let me get too moral on ya. After all we’re talking about porn. What I think I’m trying to get to is that porn isn’t actually bad for you. Yeah, yeah, you can talk to me about core family values all you want, but if sexuality is something to be sprinkled with guilt, then something’s going to come out wrong in your development. Sex ed is as important as ever and in a time where equality should be at the core of most conversations, I think pornography shows just how hypocritical we still are. You just have to check out Nina Hartley and her interviews on talk shows and the comments people attack her with. I say you have to check it, because if her looks and her sexual appetite don’t turn you on, the intellect this woman possesses should be enough to win over even Noam Chomsky. She speaks with sense and at the core of her message there are two vital points: 1.) what’s the big deal? 2.) why aren’t we supposed to enjoy porn?
And about enjoying porn. There’s something really interesting that happens with guys and it’s that sometimes we watch stuff just for the mere shock factor of it. You see, there’s porn we love to see and things we’d like to try out, and then there’s the dark shit we see that shouldn’t turn us on but do, even if we’d never want to try it in real life. If that last sentence doesn't make any sense, then you haven’t seen all the porn you need to and you need to get your ass online and enjoy all the free fucking goodness the Internet has to offer.
So to all my porn loving brethren, those who have gigabytes of porn and who’ve watched through enough clips to be able to tell whether tits are real or not with two frame’s worth of footage… I salute you.
And to all you women who love porn and choke their loofas between their legs. I salute you as well and I’m thankful for your dirty thoughts and the liberation you feel every time you feel the need to shower those extra ten minutes.
To all of you who watch and learn and still respect boundaries, likes and obey the do’s and don’ts established initially before you bang one another, I say to you…
Cheers, cheers, Cheerrrss… CCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssss.
Take pornography for instance. While most women I know are marginally curious about pornography, men are expected to treat it as a sport. They compare stats, know names, clearly remember the first porn they saw and find it totally appropriate to dedicate 3 hours to watching porn. Most women I know can get their porn fix, but it’s not like an everyday thing and they don’t have to regularly watch porn. Many are the men whom I know that need to see at least a clip every two or three days. I might add that the amount of guys I know who binge on porn easily outnumber those who occasionally browse.
Then you take the scenes themselves and start analyzing and see that sometimes guys want dialogue and other times they just want new ideas of where to splatter their jizz. We’re taking notes while women watch with mild amusement. I’m not saying that women don’t like or even love porn, I’m just saying that to guys, this is serious business and that emotionally, most of us never make it past that 13 year old mentality.
Then come the fetishes. Black, Asian, Latina, White, Redhead, Blonde, Brunette, real tits, fake tits, schoolgirl outfits, body paint, milfs, teens, food, animals, etc. Pretty much anything that can differentiate one woman from another will be something that a man takes into account when making their porn selection. That’s because us guys are so damn ridiculous that every little detail is enough to justify watching that extra clip. Some of us like big tits, some like small tits, some like handsized, and others just want to be suffocated via mammarian assault. Then you’ve got legs, height, weight, ass, hips, skin color, clothing, outfits, etc. As if that weren’t enough, there’s the attitude. Some porn stars are aggressive, others are submissive. Some give great head and others do freaky shit. Blowjobs, handjobs, footjobs, titty fucking, ass fucking, rim jobs, fisting, smurfing, doggystyle, missionary, cowgirl, etc. Hell if you put face sitting, teddy bear, squirting or gaping in most any search engine, you’re likely to get hundreds or thousands of results. And to a lot of guys, they’d love to see it all.
For a lot of women though, porn is porn is porn. It doesn’t matter what position, what they’re wearing, or who’s fucking, as long as the sex is good, who cares? For men, every single little detail of the sexual act is worthy of a niche following. From positions, to hair styles, to where the people cum, they’re all search parameters that get us that much closer to the finding the exact poison we want to see at a specific point in time.
Then come gonzo flicks, amateur porn, professional porn stars and the gimmicks behind every online site. This girl wears glasses, this one still wears braces, these people fuck in a bus, that site is dedicated to filming scenes of the way you’d love to earn an A in the classroom. Women hear this and they can’t help but see a baseball stat freak mentality applied to porn, and it’s more than just a bit weird and it happens more than you think. Then you ask which is your favorite pornstar and you get such varied answers for different reasons that no wonder women think we’re pigs. Of course, quite often there’s a very tender spot in our hearts for the very first pornstar that really fucked us up as we were growing up.
For me, it was Christy Canyon and I openly say it. For others it was Jenna Jameson, Ginger Lynn, Tracy Lords, Marylin Chambers, Asia Carrera or Kay Parker. Some people found a stray videotape, others clicked play on the VCR one day at 3:00 PM and found the surprise, other people even inherited the family porn, you know that flick that has been passed down for 3 generations and has been jacked off to more than all JC Penney catalogs combined.
To women, I’m pretty sure it isn’t the same because taboos have been firmly established that girls shouldn’t watch or enjoy porn and that masturbating is the devil’s work. Add to this that there are still an ample supply of assholes that insist women who finger themselves are sluts and you see the problem. It’s all due to chauvinism and our double standard ways of life. In my case, I’ve never had a problem with either and actually enjoy when I got that surprise that a girl does really naughty things and has watched her dad’s entire porn collection. I don’t find that slutlike behavior and I actually applaud that I can have a conversation without feeling like a goat boy who emotionally hasn’t surpassed that stage where we almost yank our dicks off from jacking off so much.
But though things have gotten better, women still seem to be forced into behaving ladylike all the time and from a feminist, trust me, you’re just missing out and if you like the type of guy with that mentality, you will most likely stay in your closet of horniness instead of expressing yourself.
And don’t think I’m condoning kids binging on porn either. Hell I had to work for my porn and I came to appreciate each and every single JPEG and magazine I acquired. I would have to wait a minute for a pic and hours for a clip and since it was hard to binge I had some type of control and although I loved porn with a passion, I didn’t feel the need to be fucking at 15, as is the case with tons of kids nowadays. It’s not that teens shouldn’t be sexually curious or even adventurous. Saying the opposite would make me a huge hypocrite, but seriously, with so many fun things that don’t involve a penis inside a vagina to do, I don’t see the rush some kids have to embarrass themselves. Instead of appreciating their adventures, it just becomes another collection hobby and they don’t appreciate any of what they get. Going from making out to fucking is like going from laying down as a baby to a full blown sprint. Though some people may do it, they will inevitably have some sexually cognitive difficulties and won’t know how to get a pussy wet even if they get an instructional manual.
But don’t let me get too moral on ya. After all we’re talking about porn. What I think I’m trying to get to is that porn isn’t actually bad for you. Yeah, yeah, you can talk to me about core family values all you want, but if sexuality is something to be sprinkled with guilt, then something’s going to come out wrong in your development. Sex ed is as important as ever and in a time where equality should be at the core of most conversations, I think pornography shows just how hypocritical we still are. You just have to check out Nina Hartley and her interviews on talk shows and the comments people attack her with. I say you have to check it, because if her looks and her sexual appetite don’t turn you on, the intellect this woman possesses should be enough to win over even Noam Chomsky. She speaks with sense and at the core of her message there are two vital points: 1.) what’s the big deal? 2.) why aren’t we supposed to enjoy porn?
And about enjoying porn. There’s something really interesting that happens with guys and it’s that sometimes we watch stuff just for the mere shock factor of it. You see, there’s porn we love to see and things we’d like to try out, and then there’s the dark shit we see that shouldn’t turn us on but do, even if we’d never want to try it in real life. If that last sentence doesn't make any sense, then you haven’t seen all the porn you need to and you need to get your ass online and enjoy all the free fucking goodness the Internet has to offer.
So to all my porn loving brethren, those who have gigabytes of porn and who’ve watched through enough clips to be able to tell whether tits are real or not with two frame’s worth of footage… I salute you.
And to all you women who love porn and choke their loofas between their legs. I salute you as well and I’m thankful for your dirty thoughts and the liberation you feel every time you feel the need to shower those extra ten minutes.
To all of you who watch and learn and still respect boundaries, likes and obey the do’s and don’ts established initially before you bang one another, I say to you…
Cheers, cheers, Cheerrrss… CCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssss.
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Nov 28, 2010
Boxing intangibles: Jason Litzau and the Heart Factor
When you’re a boxing fan and you see a matchup, certain things jump out at you when you see the tale of the tape. You look at weight, height, reach, and age. When you also factor a boxer’s record, you have a good idea of what you’re going to see in a fight. What you don’t see is a little bar that measures a fighter’s heart.
Last night Jason Litzau stepped into the ring as a 13-1 underdog against Celestino Caballero. For a brief background check, they were trying to put Caballero against Juanma Lopez or Yuriorkis Gamboa and after his performance last night, he can kiss those plans goodbye. Here’s the thing, nothing in Litzau’s career indicates that anyone should take him as serious contender facing someone of the supposed caliber of Celestino. Caballero is 5’11 and for a lightweight (130 lbs) that’s gigantic. Hell a lot of welterweights (147 lbs) don’t pass the 5’9 mark (Andre Berto, Miguel Cotto, Ricky Hatton, Manny Pacquiao and a host of others). So off the bat, you got like, well this should be a short night for Caballero. Last night was anything but a cake walk and it shows what happens when you take someone lightly and they have a chip on their shoulder. Last night Jason Litzau had a chip the size of Rhode Island on his shoulder and he muscled his way through Caballero to knock it off.
Here’s the thing, everyone was worried he might get hurt, no one gave him a shot in hell and all around, he faced so much chatter of how he had to be careful that this lit a fire in Litzau he probably didn’t know he had. The kid’s story has him with a troubled past with an abusive alcoholic father that taught him and his brother how to steal. He turned to boxing and still mixed with the wrong crowd and when he met his fiancée, he decided to clean his act. Last night he ruined the plans for a boxer who was being talked about to have million dollar fights with the boxing world’s elite. Pretty big step he’s taken and though he showed boxing skills last night, it was all about heart. He refused to let anyone tell him something could not be done. He refused to enter the ring as a loser and he refused to simply settle for a paycheck. He took a poorly prepared, arrogant boxer who was looking wayyyyy past him and taught him a very tough lesson in what it means to be a boxer. You don’t take ANYONE lightly and when you step into the ring, all the hype in the world won’t matter, because it’s just two guys with gloved hands trying to knock the other out.
And just because I see it fit to put it into this post, that’s why I don’t like Floyd Mayweather. Floyd may have all the skills in the world but he’s never put himself at risk and all he’s shown is skill… no heart. And all you Floyd fans can bask in his boxing wonder, but you can never tell me Floyd has heart… because he might… but he’s never shown it, hence me never getting on the Floyd bandwagon.
So to Jason Litzau and his heart, I say congrats kid. You made boxing fans proud and showed that if you want something, you don’t wait for someone to give it to you, you take it.
Cheers
Labels:
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Weekend Fights: HBO vs Showtime
So this is the fourth straight weekend with good fights in a row. And when it comes down to it, you have to measure up the two main channels promoting fights. If you look back on the last couple of years, it’s been a close fight, but when it comes to 2010, well Showtime has fallen a bit behind in the cards. Though it’s nowhere near a shutout, and though there have been dud fights from both channels, when you check out this last weekend specifically, HBO beat out Showtime.
On Showtime you had Andre Ward vs Sakio Bika and Arthur Abraham vs Carl Froch. Before going in depth to the fights, let’s call things how they are. The Super Six Tournament was a good idea in theory but hasn’t panned out the way most people would have wanted. The reasons for this might be many and circumstances have a lot to do with it. Simply put, home cooking, a term now being abused on this channel has played a huge factor in close fights and if it’s your hometown, you’re obviously going to get the benefit of the doubt. Add to this that the stars of the tournament have not delivered and that people who weren’t given much of a chance are being dominant, and you see why the matchups are interesting. If you’d asked me who I would have picked to win, I would have answered Mikkel Kessler and as we saw, Andre Ward had another thing coming. If you ask me again today, I pick Carl Froch mainly because even though Andre Ward has looked solid if not dominant, I’m not a fan of pushing for the guy who’s headbutting and throwing lowblows, and for however dominant he might seem, his fights have been controversial due to this. OK, so the Super Six ain’t that super, having three people bow out due to injuries, bad knockouts and plain ole disinterest. That being said, group stage 2 was a success while group stage three has had its fair share of theatrics. Going into the semi finals, you have Carl Froch, Andre Ward, Arthur Abraham and Glen Johnson. Johnson got in by knocking out a green looking Allan Green who definitely looked outclassed by a large margin in each of his two outings, so I can’t say I’m sad to see the guy go. Glen Johnson, you just gotta love the guy. At 41, he has an attitude you can’t help but admire because he won’t stop unless you stop him. But apart from that warm fuzzy feeling Johnson tends to inspire in boxing purists, I don’t see him having that much of a shot. Seriously, knocking out Allan Green isn’t the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest. Second off, you have the Tasmanian Ward. Affable, nice but sloppy to the point where you wonder if he shouldn’t be in mixed martial arts. The good thing about Ward is that he learns each time out and my feelings against his head and lowblows aside, the kid has shown a lot of talent and class. Then you have Carl Froch, whom I pick to win the thing at this point and you see a guy with a good jab, a solid right hand and the will to box and move or trade. He outclassed Arthur Abraham to the point of embarrassment and in his last two outings, Arthur Abraham has gone from division and Super Six favorite, to chump.
Having said that, what’s the problem with the names above? Simple. If you’re not a boxing fan, you have no idea who the hell I was just talking about and though the talent is there, people have had a hard time getting involved in this tournament because there aren’t big names (Jermain Taylor bowed out after being savagely knocked out by Arthur Abraham). The other factor is that for a tournament, it’s too long. This isn’t a K1 tournament where you have the guys fight in one night, and though it’s a bit excessive to ask for, if you want to shake up the boxing world, having two matches in one night, might be a gimmick worth exploring. Instead of 12 round fights, 6 or 8 round fights with longer rounds. Anything to try and shake things up and get the public’s interest, because the name power is completely absent. Also, taking 2 years to complete isn’t going to work and has demonstrated that the public’s interest will not hold for that long.
So back to this weekend, you had a Super Six Matchup and then you had Andre Ward VS Sakio Bika. The Abraham-Froch match looked great in paper but only served to show that Arthur Abraham is one dimensional, cannot adapt and fooled many boxing fans and analysts into giving him a more than fair shot in this tournament. I don’t see him adapting and though and if he gets Andre Ward, consider Abraham out of the picture. Lopsided victory for the better man, better boxer and better entertainer in Carl Froch. Second off was the Ward VS Bika fight. It was a messy ass brawl and though it showed heart from both participants, it didn’t win boxing any new fans.
Then you go over to HBO.
HBO had a triple header featuring prospects in 3 weight divisions and two of those bouts including potential Pacquiao opponents. First off was a 130 lbs. match between Jason Litzau and Celestino Caballero. Everyone wrote of Jason Litzau and didn’t give the guy a chance in hell and if he bet on himself, he’s a very rich man (the fight had 13-1 odds and he pulled out a split decision). Litzau isn’t a glamour boy by any means, but he’s a tough kid and I’d actually seen him in his losing outings against Robert Guerrero and Joel Casamayor. Props to the kid and then some. Second off you have Andre BErto in the 147 lbs. division who was given the “task” of Freddie Hernandez. 57 seconds into the match, Berto lands a thudding right just over the guard of Hernandez and he gets to go collect a check for less than a minute’s work. The thing is that Berto has caught a lot of flak for not facing quality opposition and this fight does nothing to help him out. Maybe the fight could have gone a bit longer but the outcome would have been the same. He’s now talking about facing Shane Mosley, Miguel Cotto and then Manny Pacquiao and if he takes those fights in that order and looks good in all of them, then we have a potential opponent for Manny Pacquiao. But that’s quite a big if. For the main course, HBO served Juan Manuel Marquez Vs Michael Katsidis. On paper, Katsidis had no way of winning, but in the ring, the Australian native showed skill, tenacity, aggression, heart and a great left hook that actually floored Marquez in the third. But there’s a reason why Marquez is my favorite fighter. After he took a KO blow on the chin, he just got right back up and to me even won the remainder making it a 9-9 round. Subsequently, he showed why he’s the #3 pound for pound boxer in the world, connecting combination, after combination of punches in bunches that all seemed to find their mark (an overall 52% connect rate). There was drama, there was skill, there were punches and there was action the likes few people get to see and Katsidis should feel extremely proud of his performance because he excelled most expectations and was not only in there to slug it out, he was there to win.
So it was HBO’s 2 ½ matches vs Showtimes 2, and HBO scored a convincing victory. HBO had more drama, more competitiveness and better matchups… period.
We’ll see what happens the next time these two channels face off, and seeing the calendar, that isn’t far away.
On Showtime you had Andre Ward vs Sakio Bika and Arthur Abraham vs Carl Froch. Before going in depth to the fights, let’s call things how they are. The Super Six Tournament was a good idea in theory but hasn’t panned out the way most people would have wanted. The reasons for this might be many and circumstances have a lot to do with it. Simply put, home cooking, a term now being abused on this channel has played a huge factor in close fights and if it’s your hometown, you’re obviously going to get the benefit of the doubt. Add to this that the stars of the tournament have not delivered and that people who weren’t given much of a chance are being dominant, and you see why the matchups are interesting. If you’d asked me who I would have picked to win, I would have answered Mikkel Kessler and as we saw, Andre Ward had another thing coming. If you ask me again today, I pick Carl Froch mainly because even though Andre Ward has looked solid if not dominant, I’m not a fan of pushing for the guy who’s headbutting and throwing lowblows, and for however dominant he might seem, his fights have been controversial due to this. OK, so the Super Six ain’t that super, having three people bow out due to injuries, bad knockouts and plain ole disinterest. That being said, group stage 2 was a success while group stage three has had its fair share of theatrics. Going into the semi finals, you have Carl Froch, Andre Ward, Arthur Abraham and Glen Johnson. Johnson got in by knocking out a green looking Allan Green who definitely looked outclassed by a large margin in each of his two outings, so I can’t say I’m sad to see the guy go. Glen Johnson, you just gotta love the guy. At 41, he has an attitude you can’t help but admire because he won’t stop unless you stop him. But apart from that warm fuzzy feeling Johnson tends to inspire in boxing purists, I don’t see him having that much of a shot. Seriously, knocking out Allan Green isn’t the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest. Second off, you have the Tasmanian Ward. Affable, nice but sloppy to the point where you wonder if he shouldn’t be in mixed martial arts. The good thing about Ward is that he learns each time out and my feelings against his head and lowblows aside, the kid has shown a lot of talent and class. Then you have Carl Froch, whom I pick to win the thing at this point and you see a guy with a good jab, a solid right hand and the will to box and move or trade. He outclassed Arthur Abraham to the point of embarrassment and in his last two outings, Arthur Abraham has gone from division and Super Six favorite, to chump.
Having said that, what’s the problem with the names above? Simple. If you’re not a boxing fan, you have no idea who the hell I was just talking about and though the talent is there, people have had a hard time getting involved in this tournament because there aren’t big names (Jermain Taylor bowed out after being savagely knocked out by Arthur Abraham). The other factor is that for a tournament, it’s too long. This isn’t a K1 tournament where you have the guys fight in one night, and though it’s a bit excessive to ask for, if you want to shake up the boxing world, having two matches in one night, might be a gimmick worth exploring. Instead of 12 round fights, 6 or 8 round fights with longer rounds. Anything to try and shake things up and get the public’s interest, because the name power is completely absent. Also, taking 2 years to complete isn’t going to work and has demonstrated that the public’s interest will not hold for that long.
So back to this weekend, you had a Super Six Matchup and then you had Andre Ward VS Sakio Bika. The Abraham-Froch match looked great in paper but only served to show that Arthur Abraham is one dimensional, cannot adapt and fooled many boxing fans and analysts into giving him a more than fair shot in this tournament. I don’t see him adapting and though and if he gets Andre Ward, consider Abraham out of the picture. Lopsided victory for the better man, better boxer and better entertainer in Carl Froch. Second off was the Ward VS Bika fight. It was a messy ass brawl and though it showed heart from both participants, it didn’t win boxing any new fans.
Then you go over to HBO.
HBO had a triple header featuring prospects in 3 weight divisions and two of those bouts including potential Pacquiao opponents. First off was a 130 lbs. match between Jason Litzau and Celestino Caballero. Everyone wrote of Jason Litzau and didn’t give the guy a chance in hell and if he bet on himself, he’s a very rich man (the fight had 13-1 odds and he pulled out a split decision). Litzau isn’t a glamour boy by any means, but he’s a tough kid and I’d actually seen him in his losing outings against Robert Guerrero and Joel Casamayor. Props to the kid and then some. Second off you have Andre BErto in the 147 lbs. division who was given the “task” of Freddie Hernandez. 57 seconds into the match, Berto lands a thudding right just over the guard of Hernandez and he gets to go collect a check for less than a minute’s work. The thing is that Berto has caught a lot of flak for not facing quality opposition and this fight does nothing to help him out. Maybe the fight could have gone a bit longer but the outcome would have been the same. He’s now talking about facing Shane Mosley, Miguel Cotto and then Manny Pacquiao and if he takes those fights in that order and looks good in all of them, then we have a potential opponent for Manny Pacquiao. But that’s quite a big if. For the main course, HBO served Juan Manuel Marquez Vs Michael Katsidis. On paper, Katsidis had no way of winning, but in the ring, the Australian native showed skill, tenacity, aggression, heart and a great left hook that actually floored Marquez in the third. But there’s a reason why Marquez is my favorite fighter. After he took a KO blow on the chin, he just got right back up and to me even won the remainder making it a 9-9 round. Subsequently, he showed why he’s the #3 pound for pound boxer in the world, connecting combination, after combination of punches in bunches that all seemed to find their mark (an overall 52% connect rate). There was drama, there was skill, there were punches and there was action the likes few people get to see and Katsidis should feel extremely proud of his performance because he excelled most expectations and was not only in there to slug it out, he was there to win.
So it was HBO’s 2 ½ matches vs Showtimes 2, and HBO scored a convincing victory. HBO had more drama, more competitiveness and better matchups… period.
We’ll see what happens the next time these two channels face off, and seeing the calendar, that isn’t far away.
Labels:
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What’s gonna be the new excuse Floyd?
Two weeks ago, Manny Pacquiao dominated a man 15 pounds heavier, 4 and a half inches taller and with at least a 4 inch reach advantage. I’ve mentioned that I think the fight was bought, but that’s hearsay and conspiracy theories flying up the whazoo and though I still have a post pending on that, the Margarito-Pacquiao fight served its purpose: it sets up the rematch for Miguel Cotto to find a “worthy” opponent and it pretty much paints Floyd into a wall. The excuses are running out for Floyd and frankly, I think keeping him in the pound for pound list is a joke.
People say he’s the greatest, but who has he fought in 2010? An aged Shane Mosley that should have been knocked out and quite frankly, the first risk he’s taken in a while. He talks about being the greatest of all time yet to a fan like me, he isn’t even the best of the decade. First it was that Manny wouldn’t take the drug tests. Then it was some other bullshit and now he faces criminal charges. Awesome. To be honest, I wouldn’t mind never seeing another Floyd fight ever again, but since he’s so good on defense, I’m sure his lawyers are too. So to help a brother out, here’s my top ten reasons why Floyd can’t fight Manny Pacquiao.
10. Uncle Roger ran out of jokes to throw to Freddie Roach.
9. His manicurist is from the Philippines and asked him not to hurt Manny.
8. North Korea is about to go to war, and he doesn’t want to put any more tension between the countries and the United States. Even if Manny is from the Philippines, this could be a major tragedy and Floyd is doing it to save us from World War 3.
7. He embraces the Kaballah and renounces his money, his fame, his sport and takes a leave in the Nevada desert.
6. This fight might actually mean he will bruise his face, and how could Pretty Boy let that happen to his handsome visage.
5. His mommy doesn’t like that Asian fellow.
4. He’s going to sign with Showtime for 4 boxing matches and Manny doesn’t want to breach his contract.
3. Floyd is going to raise awareness for Parkinson’s and his first order of business is to hold a rally for Freddie Roach, so obviously there’s a conflict of interests.
2. The money’s not right. After all, it should be 70/30 for Floyd because that’s what he thinks he deserves.
And the number one excuse Floyd doesn’t want to fight Manny Pacquiao.
1. It might mean he won’t be able to retire as an undefeated fighter.
So there you have it Floyd. No need to thank me for doing the tough work. Just remember to give credit where credit is due……… which as always it is yourself.
Labels:
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Nov 24, 2010
The ULTIMATE WAS Challenge: Searching for a Creative Director who will answer our questions.
I am boldly going where no advertising blog has gone before.
And I double dog dare a Creative Director to make this challenge true.
In fact. I triple dog dare them.
The Challenge is simple.
We are searching for a Creative Director who will truly answer just five of our questions.
Um. No. They won't be pretty sugar coated questions.
Get ready to answer what YOUR creatives want to ask you but are afraid to ask.
So! Here is your chance. If you are up to the challenge, by all means email us at adssuck@gmail.com. Don't worry, we won't reveal who you are or what agency you work for. We just need your honest to God input.
So... let's see if we can find a CD who wants to play with us.
-----------------------------UPDATE-------------------------
We will be trying out the Challenge in Twitter as well! Let's see who answers our tweet-call! And yes, there are more than 5 five questions.
--------------------NEW UPDATE THAT TOTALLY ROCKS -------------------------
I NOW HAVE TO EAT MY WORDS, SINCE MY BET WAS THAT NO ONE WOULD ANSWER! WE HAVE ONE CREATIVE DIRECTOR WHO IS CURRENTLY WORKING ON OUR QUESTIONS! THERE IS A GOD! YES, THERE IS A GOD!
And I double dog dare a Creative Director to make this challenge true.
In fact. I triple dog dare them.
The Challenge is simple.
We are searching for a Creative Director who will truly answer just five of our questions.
Um. No. They won't be pretty sugar coated questions.
Get ready to answer what YOUR creatives want to ask you but are afraid to ask.
So! Here is your chance. If you are up to the challenge, by all means email us at adssuck@gmail.com. Don't worry, we won't reveal who you are or what agency you work for. We just need your honest to God input.
So... let's see if we can find a CD who wants to play with us.
-----------------------------UPDATE-------------------------
We will be trying out the Challenge in Twitter as well! Let's see who answers our tweet-call! And yes, there are more than 5 five questions.
--------------------NEW UPDATE THAT TOTALLY ROCKS -------------------------
I NOW HAVE TO EAT MY WORDS, SINCE MY BET WAS THAT NO ONE WOULD ANSWER! WE HAVE ONE CREATIVE DIRECTOR WHO IS CURRENTLY WORKING ON OUR QUESTIONS! THERE IS A GOD! YES, THERE IS A GOD!
Nov 23, 2010
A funny thing happened on my way back to my College.
I tried to contain myself.
Honestly. I tried.
This is what happens when you have worked at advertising for way too long, when you have refused to drink the Kool Aid, when you realized that this business "does not cure cancer" (meaning that it's just an ad) and when you really think that your job is just a tool to make money so you can enjoy life...
You suddenly need to tell the truth about it. Bad part is: you do it to eager young students.
Holy Mother of Chiat. I scared the shit out of them, and it wasn't my intention. Or, so it seems. Let's back track a bit so I can tell you what happened.
I receive this email from a dear college professor. "Hey Me! Long time no see, hope you are doing well, yada yada yada. Listen, I need you to come to talk to our art students, 10 minute gig. You basically tell them the story of your life, what have you done since you graduated, blah blah blah."
It was like someone had lit the wick for a huge explosion without even knowing the sheer damage of what was coming.
"Are you sure you want me to do it?" I asked back. "You know how I feel about advertising and how people give students a unrealistic idea of what is coming", I said. I wanted my cool professor to know that if I was to attend this conference, I was talking only truth and nothing but the truth. The good, the bad and the ugly.
He said to come and give them my best shot.
Gird your loins. Fasten your seatbelts. This will be a very, very fucked up and bumpy ride! Well students, here I come to tell you what it's really like.
So there we are. We're five returning classmates from different years. There was the chick that graduated almost 2 years ago. There was the guy that graduated 10 years ago... you do the math. And then, there's me. And I don't get to start. The professors decide to do it in order or recent graduations. So, for some strange reason, I'm third in line. Perfect!
First two chats are just what I imagined that would happen. Bull-shit. Life is so wonderful. Here is my pseudo portfolio. Here's what I did for this client and for that client. Advertising is always fun. Thank you.
And all the time I'm sitting there, quietly drinking my water and looking calm and collected, all I'm thinking is...
WHAT THE... WHY ARE YOU GIVING YOUR RESUME TO PEOPLE THAT DON'T NEED IT?! THESE ARE STUDENTS, for God's sake! Give them a clue! Tell them what THEY need to do in order to get a job! Give them honest recommendations on how to be great, how to decide what they want to do! Don't whip out your goddamn portfolio! WHO CARES WHAT YOU DID A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO!
I smiled. This is going to be fun, I thought. I'm going to give the speech of a lifetime.
Damn how fun it was! I started an even balanced speech that got them looking at me like a train was coming straight at them but they couldn't look away. All I remember is that my professors made a double take and shifted nervously at first in their seats as I proceeded to tell it like it truly is - to students who were really grateful that at least I didn't come there to bullshit them.
I told them how fun it can be, how much you can grow, how different things are from this job to any other. You can dress wacky if you want to. You can be weird. Writing is a joy. So is designing. You get to meet, I said, the most important friends you will ever have in your life. Advertising, when it wants to, can be extremely cool to be part of.
But I also said the bad parts - and you had to see the huge eyes looking at me, silently saying "please go on". I told about the long hours. The extremely ridiculous changes. The fact that to be happy you really must not take it personal. That you will probably miss at least three important moments of either your life or your family's life. That sometimes getting a job means knowing someone inside. And that there are a bunch of douches that you will have to deal, mainly because Advertising is full of people with huge egos.
All I remember is that my time went way too fast. The students looked at me at the end with weird faces. The people that went after me tried to bullshit them a little but I guess I laid the line so well in the sand that they felt it was a diservice to them to start giving them a sugar-coated version of what our job was.
What happened at the end? Were my old professors out to kill me for what I did? Nope mein friends. They actually thanked me. Well, after seeing a bunch of the students eagerly asking me questions about more hardcore stuff, they knew I did the right thing.
I'm not against people working in this business. In fact, the 80% of the time I actually enjoy what I do. But I cannot sit there in front of hundreds of students and tell them about a job that is simply sort of true. I want them to know what's coming so they get prepared. So they know if they are cut up to do this or they want to do something else.
Why? Because I've WORKED with people who should not have kept studying advertising. I've worked with people who should have been lawyers or some other profession. And for some reason, some colleges out there saw their mediocre work and decided they would pass instead of telling them straight out - this job is not for you. I've also worked with people with a shitload of talent but they cannot tolerate the hours, the egos, the weird people and the bureaucracy. They are, for example, natural writers or artists and for some reason they stumbled on this job.
So that's why I felt like I needed to say the truth to those young scared people. And I believe I did the right thing. At the end, most of them came and thanked me, wanted to chat a little bit more, wanted my email and even wanted to work for us as interns. Very cool!
But all I really wanted was that at some point in their advertising life, when it's a Saturday and they are working on a shit campaign at 2am with a cold pizza in hand... that they smile and say "It's ok. Me warned me about it".
The truth shall set you free.
Honestly. I tried.
This is what happens when you have worked at advertising for way too long, when you have refused to drink the Kool Aid, when you realized that this business "does not cure cancer" (meaning that it's just an ad) and when you really think that your job is just a tool to make money so you can enjoy life...
You suddenly need to tell the truth about it. Bad part is: you do it to eager young students.
Holy Mother of Chiat. I scared the shit out of them, and it wasn't my intention. Or, so it seems. Let's back track a bit so I can tell you what happened.
I receive this email from a dear college professor. "Hey Me! Long time no see, hope you are doing well, yada yada yada. Listen, I need you to come to talk to our art students, 10 minute gig. You basically tell them the story of your life, what have you done since you graduated, blah blah blah."
It was like someone had lit the wick for a huge explosion without even knowing the sheer damage of what was coming.
"Are you sure you want me to do it?" I asked back. "You know how I feel about advertising and how people give students a unrealistic idea of what is coming", I said. I wanted my cool professor to know that if I was to attend this conference, I was talking only truth and nothing but the truth. The good, the bad and the ugly.
He said to come and give them my best shot.
Gird your loins. Fasten your seatbelts. This will be a very, very fucked up and bumpy ride! Well students, here I come to tell you what it's really like.
So there we are. We're five returning classmates from different years. There was the chick that graduated almost 2 years ago. There was the guy that graduated 10 years ago... you do the math. And then, there's me. And I don't get to start. The professors decide to do it in order or recent graduations. So, for some strange reason, I'm third in line. Perfect!
First two chats are just what I imagined that would happen. Bull-shit. Life is so wonderful. Here is my pseudo portfolio. Here's what I did for this client and for that client. Advertising is always fun. Thank you.
And all the time I'm sitting there, quietly drinking my water and looking calm and collected, all I'm thinking is...
WHAT THE... WHY ARE YOU GIVING YOUR RESUME TO PEOPLE THAT DON'T NEED IT?! THESE ARE STUDENTS, for God's sake! Give them a clue! Tell them what THEY need to do in order to get a job! Give them honest recommendations on how to be great, how to decide what they want to do! Don't whip out your goddamn portfolio! WHO CARES WHAT YOU DID A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO!
I smiled. This is going to be fun, I thought. I'm going to give the speech of a lifetime.
Damn how fun it was! I started an even balanced speech that got them looking at me like a train was coming straight at them but they couldn't look away. All I remember is that my professors made a double take and shifted nervously at first in their seats as I proceeded to tell it like it truly is - to students who were really grateful that at least I didn't come there to bullshit them.
I told them how fun it can be, how much you can grow, how different things are from this job to any other. You can dress wacky if you want to. You can be weird. Writing is a joy. So is designing. You get to meet, I said, the most important friends you will ever have in your life. Advertising, when it wants to, can be extremely cool to be part of.
But I also said the bad parts - and you had to see the huge eyes looking at me, silently saying "please go on". I told about the long hours. The extremely ridiculous changes. The fact that to be happy you really must not take it personal. That you will probably miss at least three important moments of either your life or your family's life. That sometimes getting a job means knowing someone inside. And that there are a bunch of douches that you will have to deal, mainly because Advertising is full of people with huge egos.
All I remember is that my time went way too fast. The students looked at me at the end with weird faces. The people that went after me tried to bullshit them a little but I guess I laid the line so well in the sand that they felt it was a diservice to them to start giving them a sugar-coated version of what our job was.
What happened at the end? Were my old professors out to kill me for what I did? Nope mein friends. They actually thanked me. Well, after seeing a bunch of the students eagerly asking me questions about more hardcore stuff, they knew I did the right thing.
I'm not against people working in this business. In fact, the 80% of the time I actually enjoy what I do. But I cannot sit there in front of hundreds of students and tell them about a job that is simply sort of true. I want them to know what's coming so they get prepared. So they know if they are cut up to do this or they want to do something else.
Why? Because I've WORKED with people who should not have kept studying advertising. I've worked with people who should have been lawyers or some other profession. And for some reason, some colleges out there saw their mediocre work and decided they would pass instead of telling them straight out - this job is not for you. I've also worked with people with a shitload of talent but they cannot tolerate the hours, the egos, the weird people and the bureaucracy. They are, for example, natural writers or artists and for some reason they stumbled on this job.
So that's why I felt like I needed to say the truth to those young scared people. And I believe I did the right thing. At the end, most of them came and thanked me, wanted to chat a little bit more, wanted my email and even wanted to work for us as interns. Very cool!
But all I really wanted was that at some point in their advertising life, when it's a Saturday and they are working on a shit campaign at 2am with a cold pizza in hand... that they smile and say "It's ok. Me warned me about it".
The truth shall set you free.
Nov 22, 2010
Are you "overcommenting" or "oversharing" on Facebook?
Yeah. If Sarah Palin makes up new words, so can I.
After watching movies like Catfish and having deep reservations on how many information some people share on the wonderful place called Facebook, I started what I thought it would be impossible: my own Facebook detox. Then I read a news post about some guy called Jeffrey Cole; who bluntly stated that Facebook will last almost five years and then it will be no more. Well, apart from the fact that it has been reported that Cole was the one that said the same thing about MySpace - when no one even thought of uttering such a line - it got me thinking that I was in the right frame of mind.
I am starting to quit Facebook.
Yup, like any regular addict, I started my own 12 step program to free myself from the monster called social network and start living again in a sans-over-sharing world. Like cigarettes, alcohol and/or even hard core drugs, this requires a step by step process... and I decided I am taking back my life, one step at a time.
Why did I start thinking this way?
I started noticing weird behaviors from people I know. There are some who have gone on vacation and reported almost daily what have they been doing. Disturbing. There are some who insist on sharing a daily picture of what they are doing. Weird. Then, I noticed the worst: I knew all this shit, because I saw it every single day. Not only are the people I care about going socialnetworky-apeshit... I was too.
This shit has got to stop.
Now I am dead set on quitting or limiting my time on this hell-addictive platform. I want my life back and also, I want my privacy back. And trust me, you should think about this too. Life is very cool when not ALL the people you know have every single detail of your mundane life.
So this newly found joy of limiting my Facebook "usage" came first from the greatest Jimmy Kimmel show. You see, last week he decided to do something called "National UnFriend Day". I found this one of the greatest ideas I've heard in a long time: you delete people who are not really your friends but you've added them to your friends list because of obligations. Period.
Jimmy said it best that night before it started: true friends are few. So why the fuck do we want for people who hardly know us to see pictures of our families and other friends? This is totally true, dammit! So even before Jimmy's gimmick started I already started deleting people. Trust me, it felt FUCKING AWESOME. I deleted almost 40 people that night. Felt like crack cocaine would feel. Getting rid of people who really mean nothing to me was awesome. I know I have some people left that I have to delete, but this is so fun I am actually taking my time and doing rounds. Deleting people and making them go back to where they came from - something called "The Past" - is something truly enjoyable.
But that doesn't mean that I see people which I love dearly that are really, really freaking me out. So this post is for them, I guess. For the Facebook addicts that I love. Here we go.
I've decided to write down what I think to be the warning signs that you need to log off a little bit more often and start enjoying your life once again, without the need for everybody else to know. Feel free to add as many as you want to.
1) You are suddenly friends of people you haven't even talked to that much in real life.
This is very simple. Have you talked with that person more than 20 minutes in your life? Did you work with that person for more than 6 months? Then you are not a friend. Stop yapping about things you don't know. You look odd doing it.
2) You need to take a picture every ten minutes of every idiotic thing you are watching/eating/listening/reading.
We all eat. We all go to the movies. We all have weird moments. Take the time to enjoy them, rather than the need for me to see it.
3) You need to update me every 15 minutes on what you are doing/feeling/thinking.
I am not bullshitting you, I know people who change their status every 10-15 minutes. I now wonder when they have time to eat/work/enjoy life. I even had to delete a friend from Twitter because all I got was his minute by minute tweets - and since I use Twitter like a news feed for cool stuff/work related shit, it became so much to bear I had to even block him. Poor idiot.
4) You feel the need to comment on every single item that anyone posts - family, friend or even worse, someone you hardly know.
I have a question for you: have you ever at any time worked for ESPN or HBO Sports, for example? Then stop it with the hard core commenting. Really. It's annoying and you look weird while doing it - either too friendly or just with way too much time on your hands. Go have a drink and enjoy the little photo that someone took of their dog - and enjoy it by yourself.
5) You are not allowed to go on vacation ever again if you've written at your profile at any time during your stay there. Period.
Vacations are supposed to be the time where you disconnect yourself from everything. Work - AND FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Basically you are wasting your time if you don't truly go away. The only exception to the rule is if you write something to the effect of "I am alive" or "I made it ok", meaning that you want people to know - the people that do count - that you are ok. Fuck that. If you are ok just write a damn email to the people that matter. So back to the basic rule, you have to disconnect completely or you're done. No more vacations for you.
So there you go, I even managed to do a "Five Things" list! How cool is that? Honestly people, there is a life beyond social networks. What do you think?
Much love from a recovering Facebook user, Me.
After watching movies like Catfish and having deep reservations on how many information some people share on the wonderful place called Facebook, I started what I thought it would be impossible: my own Facebook detox. Then I read a news post about some guy called Jeffrey Cole; who bluntly stated that Facebook will last almost five years and then it will be no more. Well, apart from the fact that it has been reported that Cole was the one that said the same thing about MySpace - when no one even thought of uttering such a line - it got me thinking that I was in the right frame of mind.
I am starting to quit Facebook.
Yup, like any regular addict, I started my own 12 step program to free myself from the monster called social network and start living again in a sans-over-sharing world. Like cigarettes, alcohol and/or even hard core drugs, this requires a step by step process... and I decided I am taking back my life, one step at a time.
Why did I start thinking this way?
I started noticing weird behaviors from people I know. There are some who have gone on vacation and reported almost daily what have they been doing. Disturbing. There are some who insist on sharing a daily picture of what they are doing. Weird. Then, I noticed the worst: I knew all this shit, because I saw it every single day. Not only are the people I care about going socialnetworky-apeshit... I was too.
This shit has got to stop.
Now I am dead set on quitting or limiting my time on this hell-addictive platform. I want my life back and also, I want my privacy back. And trust me, you should think about this too. Life is very cool when not ALL the people you know have every single detail of your mundane life.
So this newly found joy of limiting my Facebook "usage" came first from the greatest Jimmy Kimmel show. You see, last week he decided to do something called "National UnFriend Day". I found this one of the greatest ideas I've heard in a long time: you delete people who are not really your friends but you've added them to your friends list because of obligations. Period.
Jimmy said it best that night before it started: true friends are few. So why the fuck do we want for people who hardly know us to see pictures of our families and other friends? This is totally true, dammit! So even before Jimmy's gimmick started I already started deleting people. Trust me, it felt FUCKING AWESOME. I deleted almost 40 people that night. Felt like crack cocaine would feel. Getting rid of people who really mean nothing to me was awesome. I know I have some people left that I have to delete, but this is so fun I am actually taking my time and doing rounds. Deleting people and making them go back to where they came from - something called "The Past" - is something truly enjoyable.
But that doesn't mean that I see people which I love dearly that are really, really freaking me out. So this post is for them, I guess. For the Facebook addicts that I love. Here we go.
I've decided to write down what I think to be the warning signs that you need to log off a little bit more often and start enjoying your life once again, without the need for everybody else to know. Feel free to add as many as you want to.
1) You are suddenly friends of people you haven't even talked to that much in real life.
This is very simple. Have you talked with that person more than 20 minutes in your life? Did you work with that person for more than 6 months? Then you are not a friend. Stop yapping about things you don't know. You look odd doing it.
2) You need to take a picture every ten minutes of every idiotic thing you are watching/eating/listening/reading.
We all eat. We all go to the movies. We all have weird moments. Take the time to enjoy them, rather than the need for me to see it.
3) You need to update me every 15 minutes on what you are doing/feeling/thinking.
I am not bullshitting you, I know people who change their status every 10-15 minutes. I now wonder when they have time to eat/work/enjoy life. I even had to delete a friend from Twitter because all I got was his minute by minute tweets - and since I use Twitter like a news feed for cool stuff/work related shit, it became so much to bear I had to even block him. Poor idiot.
4) You feel the need to comment on every single item that anyone posts - family, friend or even worse, someone you hardly know.
I have a question for you: have you ever at any time worked for ESPN or HBO Sports, for example? Then stop it with the hard core commenting. Really. It's annoying and you look weird while doing it - either too friendly or just with way too much time on your hands. Go have a drink and enjoy the little photo that someone took of their dog - and enjoy it by yourself.
5) You are not allowed to go on vacation ever again if you've written at your profile at any time during your stay there. Period.
Vacations are supposed to be the time where you disconnect yourself from everything. Work - AND FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Basically you are wasting your time if you don't truly go away. The only exception to the rule is if you write something to the effect of "I am alive" or "I made it ok", meaning that you want people to know - the people that do count - that you are ok. Fuck that. If you are ok just write a damn email to the people that matter. So back to the basic rule, you have to disconnect completely or you're done. No more vacations for you.
So there you go, I even managed to do a "Five Things" list! How cool is that? Honestly people, there is a life beyond social networks. What do you think?
Much love from a recovering Facebook user, Me.
Thank you Jesus: "Best Worst Movie" RULES.
I never even saw the trailer of this movie. I wanted to see it because it came highly recommended while watching Totally Rad Show (when it was a cool podcast. Dammit.) and thought, well I gotta give it a try.
Dammit, this documentary is one awesome, funny as hell and extremely disturbing film! I LOVED IT!
Best Worst Movie is about Troll 2, which has earned the well deserved title of... yes, the worst movie ever made. But the thing is, contrary to a really bad movie like, for example the horrific shit film "Skyline"; Troll 2 is very bad in a very good way.
It has gotten cult film following, Rocky Horror Picture Show quality if you know what I mean. A B-movie that is bad but you enjoy it anyway. This documentary follows the cast, director and writer at the moment that they discover that this little movie that they were so ashamed of being part of it had suddenly become an icon for many sci-fi/horror fans.
If you go to comic conventions, if you love sci-fi and specially if you enjoy watching a bad movie (again, not Skyline), then this documentary is for you. This is one for the books, you have to Netflix it. I sure now am on my way to click "Troll 2" on my Netflix. Now.
PS: if you like conventional movies - Eat, Pray, Love or It's Complicated - then just move along. Nothing to see here.
Nov 20, 2010
Please don’t buy into forgiving Margarito
I’m getting out all the poison in my system before writing about a fight worth watching because I want to enjoy tonight without having any thoughts unsaid about last week’s fight. Just in case you watched it and watched the 24/7, please don’t be lulled into forgiving Antonio Margarito.
I’ve openly said and will continue saying that I think the Pacquiao / Margarito match was a ruse at best. It smells and seemed bought and I’ll tell you why in yet another post I’ll write today on this topic, but for now, let’s focus EXCLUSIVELY on the aspect of Antonio Margarito.
I am enraged that Margarito got this fight. I say it that clearly because I don’t want any gray area, Margarito should be in jail and his license should be suspended for life. Unfortunately money talks and people still support him for some ridiculous reason. For those claiming national pride, rest assured, you have fighters you can root for in Rafael Marquéz, Juan Manuel Marquéz, Saúl Canelo Alvarez and Giovanni Segura. These are two elite future hall of fame fighters, a hot prospect EVERYONE should keep an eye on and the guy that defeated Ivan Calderon by knockout. You don’t need Antonio Margarito.
The entire 24/7 series and the fight was designed to get you to look past something that should have landed Margarito in jail. People said Margarito showed heart and courage… but just in case, he also showed he was taking a banned substance before the fight and that at this stage, the only thing remaining is a fight with Cotto to give the former elite boxer a chance at redemption.
People focused on him having a broken orbital bone and needing surgery. Big whoop, and quite simply, I cannot care because that fight shouldn’t even have happened and instead of further establishing the legacy of Manny Pacquiao, it left a sour taste in my mouth.
Here’s the thing: cheating boxer banned from boxing for one year, has a lousy tune up fight and then gets a mega fight with pound-for-pound champion. The sentence doesn’t make sense but it starts to when you add some more information. Fighter caught cheating from boxing is banned for a year from the sport but still has a following. Will face pound-for-pound great to justify giving other fighter a championship in 8th division. Both fighters have same promoter and he will roll in the money.
The last sentence is what you have to focus on, because it’s all about money. It’s not about being fair or doing what is right. It’s about doing what will get more cash into the pockets of people. Margarito took a whooping at the hands of Manny Pacquiao… now Floyd has no choice but to fight Manny and Cotto can get another fight. By the way, With the exception of Floyd, all other 3 fighters are with Top Rank Promotions.
So don’t pity Margarito because people who have done less than him have been banned from the sport. Luis Resto comes to mind and there’s even a documentary on this case. And to all Mexican Boxing fans… Margarito is a disgrace to you and the marvelous history you have. Stop supporting him because he doesn’t deserve your money, your cheers, your support or your admiration.
Cheers
Labels:
Antonio MArgarito,
Boxing,
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Michael Cunts
Ever since I saw Michael Kontz in a 24/7 episode, I got a bad feeling. My gut winced every time I saw him on camera or heard his voice and the reason is simple. The guy is a supreme sleazebag and reminds me of Lord of the Rings's Grima Wormtongue, the adviser to the King of Rohan. Simply put, that last fight felt bought and the fact that this gopher is hovering around Manny simply inspires some frustrating thoughts as a boxing fan.
But then again, his mere name is an indicator of what he seems to bring to the table and Manny and Freddie Roach are equally in the red for not getting this demon out of their throng. That his mere name is getting thrown into boxing discussions is an indicator of his level of doucheness and if anything, I’d tie this piece of shit along with Leonard Ellerbe (Floyd Mayweather’s promoter/adviser) and I’d throw them to the wolves.
These type of people bring down the sport of boxing and does the sport NO service. So kindly, hand in your chips, go to Bermuda and get the fuck out of negotiations.
YOU ARE NOT WANTED.
Labels:
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douche,
Freddie Roach,
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we hate you
Freddy, Freddy fo Freddy
Seems everything is a song and dance with Freddy Roach lately. Please don’t think I’m making any type of comment on his physical condition. Personality aside, I think Roach deserves supreme admiration for the way he’s handled his condition and I have no gripes whatsoever with that. His personality though, that could use a bit of tweaking before the next fight.
You see, when I say everything is a song and dance with Freddie as of late, I’m simply wanting to establish that he’s become a spinster more akin to the world of professional wrestling than to the sweet science. Everything is a mind game, everything is a strategy and everything is in the design. Of the current trainers, there is little doubt Freddie is among the top echelon, but unlike someone of the caliber of Emmanuel Steward, it’s been a while since Freddie has turned a losing boxer into a winning prospect.
If you don’t see what I’m getting at, please focus on Wladimir Klitschko and his run after he started with Steward. Simply put, Steward took a glass jaw liability and has built him back into a very formidable champion. Maybe not as invincible as we once thought, but apart from his brother… there’s no one who comes close to Wladimir. Steward is also now working with Miguel Cotto and I’m very interested in seeing what he can do with a boxer who has the skills but lacks the discipline and see if he can get him into a competitive setting once again. For his part, Freddie has been a big winner thanks to his work with Manny Pacquiao and now a bit with Amir Khan.
Unlike Pacquiao though, Khan can’t take a punch and now he’s going to face Carlos Maidana and his right hand. Simply put, Khan reminds me of Nazeem Hammed and like this boxer, I’m also urgently wishing to see him get knocked out. That detail aside, Freddie has trained quite a few other excellent fighters and he’s done great work with them… the thing is that lately his focus is not 100% on training and it’s straying more into the fight theatrics that might sell PPVs but don’t mean much to someone who’s into boxing. And quite honestly, it’s getting old quick.
The only exception to this is if Floyd finally decides to give Manny a fight and avoids getting thrown into jail. If that happens, then let the drama unfold because if I’ve learned ANYTHING from watching Floyd in a fight it’s that his prefight hype and the 24/7 series are the only thing worth watching. This time around it might be different and Manny may make him fight for once in his cherry picked career, but if not, then at least we have something to watch for 4 weeks.
Regardless though, I just simply hope Freddie takes some time for himself to meditate about his place in boxing and how his attitude is threatening to soil an otherwise admirable career. Otherwise, I think Hulk Hogan is looking for a new person in his corner and I’m sure they can come up with some storyline for him to be able to continue developing his newly acquired skills.
Labels:
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Freddie Roach,
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Manny Pacquiao,
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Best boxer in the world, just not at 154 lbs.
Now that some time has passed from last week’s bout between Manny Pacquiao VS. Antonio Margarito, maybe we can talk a bit before the next media hype circus comes to town. There are a few things that need to be put into perspective.
Before anything else, is Manny Pacquiao the best pound-for-pound boxer in the world? Yes.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I do have a problem with his so called 8th division victory. I’m not saying Manny is without merit. Hardly. He’s faced top quality opposition and has quite simply overwhelmed the odds on all fronts, that you can’t help but admire the kid. But a junior middleweight champion he is not. Simply put, how can you win a 154 lb. belt when you come into the fight weighing in at 148?
There are quite a few other things that smell fishy from that fight, but I’ll go into detail in another post. In this case I’m just talking about the weight, which was a super issue. Is it admirable that he stepped into the ring with a Margarito weighing 167 pounds? You bet your ass, but accepting this title is like accepting Miguel Cotto as a legitimate 154 pounder. Simply put, neither are fighters of this weight in the same fashion that neither Tito Trinidad, Oscar De la Hoya or Ricardo Mayorga were 160 pound fighters even if they did have fights at this weight.
Do they all have marketability? Of course, that’s why last weekend's BS fight happened in the first place, but they took the sleazy way into making history, and as a boxing fan, though I’m a huge Manny supporter, I can’t help but feel the need to call him out on this one. You want to say you won in an 8th division? Do what you did at 147 when you knocked out a game Miguel Cotto, at the time recognized as the guy to beat at 147 lbs. not called Mayweather.
For now though, suffice to say that I still consider Manny a magnificent 7 division champion.
THE MANNY PACQUIAO PICTURE CAME FROM: http://www.examiner.com/fight-sports-in-pittsburgh/the-contenders-to-manny-pacquiao-s-pound-for-pound-throne
Labels:
Antonio MArgarito,
Boxing,
Freddie Roach,
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Margarito
Nov 18, 2010
Life is very good sometimes. Today is one of those days.
You know when you get very good news how you feel so damn happy you could... actually dance like an idiot? Yeah. It's a very good day.
Nov 17, 2010
Clear and Perfect Evidence that George Michael EFFIN RULES.
I dream of the day that George Michael finally sobers up, I go to England to one of his concerts, go insane. Really insane. Gay-man-who-adores-him insane. This man can sing, dammit. Listen to that man sing LIVE!
Five Warning signs that I'm Getting Old: Me Edition
Yesterday it was a non important day. We all went to work, we did the usual breakfast, lunch and dinner. And Apple decided to include The Beatles in their iTunes store. While I strongly believe that if you already don't have them in your iPod BEFORE they placed their discography you might need some sort of medication or therapy... I've just noticed that not everybody knows the Beatles.
Shit. I'm getting old.
Those are the little things that bug me. While I embrace with happiness the fact that I am getting old, that I'm finally an adult (although sometimes I still feel like a 20 year old), and that my life is turning a new leaf completely... then there are the little things that take my breath away. Time has passed by. And why not go into the gory details and sort the other four things that really make me feel less like a young kid? Let's dive right in there. So here we go, the five things that remind me of finally being an adult...
1) People not knowing who are The Beatles.
Yes, we covered this above, but still, this shit gets to me. Why are kids out there who know annoying Lady Gaga but can't mention just one Beatles song? This is signs of mankind turning for the worse. Parents out there! You GOTTA teach kids the basic: Don't drink and drive, study and get good grades - and The Beatles are THE single best band in the whole entire universe. Period.
2) Looking at my iPod, iPad or Mac and remembering that I lived at some point in my life with Cassette Tapes and LP's, Books made out of paper only and my typewriter.
Ok so I do buy old fashioned books still. That is one thing I cannot make myself change. I must turn the page, I must be able to fold the paper where I left off reading. But I sometimes remember me yelling at 2am in the morning while I was in High school, needed to turn in a stupid essay and make a typo. Back then, a typo in your typewriter meant to start all over again. Remember that? Oh and while I enjoyed going to the CD store, I have this theory when it comes to music: they already have most of my money. I will get music down from the internet, most of all if the artist is shit famous and rich. I only buy CD's from people I truly respect and/or independent or not so well known artists.
3) Missing the past.
Facebook is shit. Now I know everything about everyone. I need to close that account. Not having past friends, those that you used to wonder where they were and what they are doing - just sucks. People have to have a past, so we can have a future. And like Jimmy Kimmel says during his National UnFriend Day (look it up), you can't have 300 friends. I have 5 friends. Five really amazing and dear good friends. The rest are acquaintances.
4) Idiotic Fashion.
Sometimes I look at kids and all I want is for their parents to give them a lesson or two on dressing. I mean... come on. Put your pants on correctly, for God's sake! Take that stupid hat and put it forward! Don't dress like a complete slut when you are going out! Damn, I remember being young, I remember wearing all black (it RULED), I remember my blue-black hair and my dark makeup... But you gotta give it to me, kids are dressing even more moronic than we did. I sometimes look at some of the kids from Jersey Shore and cringe.
5) This is the most painful one: I now watch CNN and read the news instead of watching MTV and VH1.
Man this gets to me. More so, my mother saw me wondering if I missed Anderson Cooper and had a huge laugh. Yeah, now I care about what's going on, notice the stocks (who would have thought of me actually doing that?), read news analysis... I actually TiVo programs like Nightline. Lord. The times of Beavis and Butthead have come and gone.
There you go. Well, if I needed to add one is the fact that I no longer want to hang out until 5am in the morning and less in a bar - I would prefer to go have a nice BBQ with friends on a Sunday afternoon, talk about stupid stuff while the kids play.
Oh lord. I need a drink.
What about you? What are your signs? (PS: that's a clue for you to write. Joker and I are starting to think that only our moms read our blog. We need signs of some sort of homo sapiens response, people)
Shit. I'm getting old.
Those are the little things that bug me. While I embrace with happiness the fact that I am getting old, that I'm finally an adult (although sometimes I still feel like a 20 year old), and that my life is turning a new leaf completely... then there are the little things that take my breath away. Time has passed by. And why not go into the gory details and sort the other four things that really make me feel less like a young kid? Let's dive right in there. So here we go, the five things that remind me of finally being an adult...
1) People not knowing who are The Beatles.
Yes, we covered this above, but still, this shit gets to me. Why are kids out there who know annoying Lady Gaga but can't mention just one Beatles song? This is signs of mankind turning for the worse. Parents out there! You GOTTA teach kids the basic: Don't drink and drive, study and get good grades - and The Beatles are THE single best band in the whole entire universe. Period.
2) Looking at my iPod, iPad or Mac and remembering that I lived at some point in my life with Cassette Tapes and LP's, Books made out of paper only and my typewriter.
Ok so I do buy old fashioned books still. That is one thing I cannot make myself change. I must turn the page, I must be able to fold the paper where I left off reading. But I sometimes remember me yelling at 2am in the morning while I was in High school, needed to turn in a stupid essay and make a typo. Back then, a typo in your typewriter meant to start all over again. Remember that? Oh and while I enjoyed going to the CD store, I have this theory when it comes to music: they already have most of my money. I will get music down from the internet, most of all if the artist is shit famous and rich. I only buy CD's from people I truly respect and/or independent or not so well known artists.
3) Missing the past.
Facebook is shit. Now I know everything about everyone. I need to close that account. Not having past friends, those that you used to wonder where they were and what they are doing - just sucks. People have to have a past, so we can have a future. And like Jimmy Kimmel says during his National UnFriend Day (look it up), you can't have 300 friends. I have 5 friends. Five really amazing and dear good friends. The rest are acquaintances.
4) Idiotic Fashion.
Sometimes I look at kids and all I want is for their parents to give them a lesson or two on dressing. I mean... come on. Put your pants on correctly, for God's sake! Take that stupid hat and put it forward! Don't dress like a complete slut when you are going out! Damn, I remember being young, I remember wearing all black (it RULED), I remember my blue-black hair and my dark makeup... But you gotta give it to me, kids are dressing even more moronic than we did. I sometimes look at some of the kids from Jersey Shore and cringe.
5) This is the most painful one: I now watch CNN and read the news instead of watching MTV and VH1.
Man this gets to me. More so, my mother saw me wondering if I missed Anderson Cooper and had a huge laugh. Yeah, now I care about what's going on, notice the stocks (who would have thought of me actually doing that?), read news analysis... I actually TiVo programs like Nightline. Lord. The times of Beavis and Butthead have come and gone.
There you go. Well, if I needed to add one is the fact that I no longer want to hang out until 5am in the morning and less in a bar - I would prefer to go have a nice BBQ with friends on a Sunday afternoon, talk about stupid stuff while the kids play.
Oh lord. I need a drink.
What about you? What are your signs? (PS: that's a clue for you to write. Joker and I are starting to think that only our moms read our blog. We need signs of some sort of homo sapiens response, people)
Note to all Men: Please stop with the soft handshakes for women. Thank you.
He gave me a wimpy handshake. You know what I mean. The kind of handshake men give to women where they almost don't grab your hand, they just hold on to it like we're going to brake.
I HATE WIMPY WOMEN HANDSHAKES. Please, men out there, stop it!
Look, I know you maybe were raised to "think" that women are more delicate and that we should be treated in softer way. We're oh so fragile, so please, control those great muscles with us because we might break. Damn it man, this is in no way a reality. While some men think that we have smaller hands - and some of us do - that does not mean we can't handle your sheer dude-force. Throw that testosterone power right at me man. I'll grab your stuff, hard core.
In fact, I really despise wimpy handshakes. Every person who walks this earth deserves a decent and powerful handshake. Not the "Hey, Bro" shakes where this takes forever in a very interesting form of steps, just a nice firm grab of the hand. The kind of force that says "Nice to meet you". Simple, to the point.
When you sort of grab my hand and give me just a "yeah, you're a woman so I'm not going to hurt you", you're just insulting me. Don't you notice that I am giving you back the handshake that you're supposed to give me? No, I'm not being a dick. I'm giving you the respect that you deserve and measuring it in a decent hand-to-hand grabbing force.
I'm not a princess, I'm definitively not a queen. Those women who insist on getting those types of handshakes have a place in society. A place, by the way, that sucks. But that is completely another post.
Look men. Maybe there will be two in ten women who insist on being like a douche princess, delicate flower. I can bet that the rest of us are waiting for the day that wimpy handshakes will be over so we can focus on other stuff.
While I have boobs and you have a schlonger, if you take that little detail aside, we are the same. Our bodies have almost the same mechanism. Granted, some men are stronger - and I repeat, some because I know some women out there who would kick some serious manly ass - that doesn't mean that women will break for a simple and decent handshake.
Stop with the greeting prejudice, for God's sake. Grab on to my hand and say hi... and mean it.
Thank you.
Nov 16, 2010
Why Advertising Really Sucks? Take Skyline, for example.
Someone has said that advertising is a cool way to lie. Working in this business, I would gladly agree to that. We lie. We take every little fact that there is about a product or service and we tweak it so that we can sell the shit out of it. Do we leave the bad stuff behind? But of course! Do sometimes the product/services that we make the campaigns for are not that great? Sure! Sometimes they have flaws, sometimes they just are not ideal for one type of person.
But I've never seen an advertising campaign where you take something that is a COMPLETE PIECE OF SHIT, the most awful thing known to man - and market the fuck out of it so that it seems that it's at least, great. Case in point, the movie Skyline.
Let's see the trailer, please.
OK! So while you might think this movie is... let's see... worth the ticket price, if you think that it might be a good sci fi movie, if the effects convince you to dish out your money for this - and you actually go to see it? Then you are a fool, just like me. You bought the advertising, hook line and sinker. You believed every single item of the campaign. They got you. With some cool billboards, great trailers, awesome outdoors and decent media coverage. Oh yeah, let's throw in some great press conferences, shall we! But in fact, this movie is just plain awful.
How bad is Skyline? 2012 is brilliant compared to this. Howard the Duck is totally watchable. Final Analysis, which for me represented every bad movie in the history of mankind has lost its place in the "No Way I'm Seeing that Again". Yes, a movie which has a bad guy called Pepe Carrero (sounds like a sunday cartoon character) and almost no plot is actually better than Skyline.
What bothered me about this movie? Well, after the fact that it was the first time in YEARS since I've wanted to actually LEAVE a movie theater after only 10 minutes, I stood there and thought, well, I'm pot commited. I paid for this and maybe I'm jumping to conclusions.
Um, no. This movie is just so bad to see, please I beg you to not go watch it. Don't even see it on HBO. Not even a saturday rerun at TBS.
This movie has no structure. No plot. And when I mean no plot is... THEY DON'T EXPLAIN ANYTHING. No character development. Nothing. You leave the movie theater wondering, like a car accident, what the fuck just happened. Why are the aliens invading earth? Beats me. Where do they come from, what do they want? This seems not important. How are the characters relevant to each other more so than that they are in the same space at the moment of the invasion? Not something they really want to go so much into.
This is just a movie about special effects, some aliens fucking with people, insert some fire and guns. Period.
The acting is just horrendous. You feel no connection whatsoever with ANY of the characters (oooh right, it's because they don't develop their stories, yeah). At the end of the movie, I was laughing at myself for being there and actually rooting for the aliens to eat them all up. The sooner the better so I could leave.
Don't trust me? By all means, go and see it. I double dog dare you. If you enjoy it... then your license to watch movies has been revoked. FOR ALL TIME.
Don't believe the hype, people. It's just advertising. Skyline, as advertising, sucks.
But I've never seen an advertising campaign where you take something that is a COMPLETE PIECE OF SHIT, the most awful thing known to man - and market the fuck out of it so that it seems that it's at least, great. Case in point, the movie Skyline.
Let's see the trailer, please.
OK! So while you might think this movie is... let's see... worth the ticket price, if you think that it might be a good sci fi movie, if the effects convince you to dish out your money for this - and you actually go to see it? Then you are a fool, just like me. You bought the advertising, hook line and sinker. You believed every single item of the campaign. They got you. With some cool billboards, great trailers, awesome outdoors and decent media coverage. Oh yeah, let's throw in some great press conferences, shall we! But in fact, this movie is just plain awful.
How bad is Skyline? 2012 is brilliant compared to this. Howard the Duck is totally watchable. Final Analysis, which for me represented every bad movie in the history of mankind has lost its place in the "No Way I'm Seeing that Again". Yes, a movie which has a bad guy called Pepe Carrero (sounds like a sunday cartoon character) and almost no plot is actually better than Skyline.
What bothered me about this movie? Well, after the fact that it was the first time in YEARS since I've wanted to actually LEAVE a movie theater after only 10 minutes, I stood there and thought, well, I'm pot commited. I paid for this and maybe I'm jumping to conclusions.
Um, no. This movie is just so bad to see, please I beg you to not go watch it. Don't even see it on HBO. Not even a saturday rerun at TBS.
This movie has no structure. No plot. And when I mean no plot is... THEY DON'T EXPLAIN ANYTHING. No character development. Nothing. You leave the movie theater wondering, like a car accident, what the fuck just happened. Why are the aliens invading earth? Beats me. Where do they come from, what do they want? This seems not important. How are the characters relevant to each other more so than that they are in the same space at the moment of the invasion? Not something they really want to go so much into.
This is just a movie about special effects, some aliens fucking with people, insert some fire and guns. Period.
The acting is just horrendous. You feel no connection whatsoever with ANY of the characters (oooh right, it's because they don't develop their stories, yeah). At the end of the movie, I was laughing at myself for being there and actually rooting for the aliens to eat them all up. The sooner the better so I could leave.
Don't trust me? By all means, go and see it. I double dog dare you. If you enjoy it... then your license to watch movies has been revoked. FOR ALL TIME.
Don't believe the hype, people. It's just advertising. Skyline, as advertising, sucks.
The Female Effect
Here’s what happens you have an 8 year-old daughter:
· You know the lyrics to every High School Musical, Hannah Montana, Jonas Bros., Demi Lovato, and Selena Gomez song
· You learn how to do long division all over again
· You gain a few extra pounds eating her leftovers
· Every day you think about what she’ll be like when she’s 20
And here’s what happens you have a 20 year-old daughter in college:
· You start to like shows like Glee, Grey’s Anatomy, and Drop Dead Diva
· You hate Lady GaGa, but you can’t get her out of your head
· You engage in lengthy discussions on world affairs, knowing full well that you won’t convince her of your point of view
· Every day you remember what it was like when she was 8
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