Mar 23, 2011

You need to stop the ad nonsense. Now.

I have a short temper. That, I admit. I get annoyed easily. This has been going on for many years and no, I have not been able to correct it, all that I have managed is to control it a bit - like Hulk in rehab. But once in a blue moon, in comes an ad person sending me an email about a campaign or reviewing some crap print ad and I get angry. And I think that I do have a point about getting fired up about this topic because of one simple reason:

Ad people only talk about ad shit... and it annoys me.

If you've been in this business long enough, you start to notice this a lot. Ad people, for some strange reason, seem not to have a life beyond making ads. Some of us don't drink the Kool Aid and really love NOT talking about that agency that delivered that crap tv spot, or that copywriter we used to hate which made the single worst radio spot known to man. Yep, ladies and gentlemen, there are few people out there, we call ourselves the Others, and we don't give a rat's ass about what you do that is so fucking awesome. We just want to move on to the next job, get it approved, go home, eat, watch a movie and bang our loved ones before bed.

You cannot imagine how pissed off I get everytime I receive an email - in my personal account, no less - with 50 people discussing IN DETAIL a TV spot from Argentina or France. The Replies can go on forever - and the clichés as well.

Words are thrown around. Witty. Awesome. Different. Budget!

Then, there are the phrases I cringe everytime I see them...

We don't get shit like this approved here! That's a great Creative Director, they let creatives there do anything they want! I want to meet the client that approved that... and the almighty one: when you have that amount of budget, this is what you get. LORD KILL ME.

It doesn't end in just emails. Oh no! Try to go to a bar where ad people are getting hammered and you will take that mundane conversation to eleven. Alcohol impairs not only the way that you drive, for ad people it impairs the way you talk about anything else beyond a campaign, agency, client or boss. Seldom are the moments that I've heard at a shindig anything more than what we do day by day. At first it was cool comparing notes with peers, but years have passed and I am now dreading hearing about the same conversations, which I will gladly point out just so that you confirm what I'm saying the next time you go out with them.

If you go to ANY bar or party that contains more than 10 ad people together, they WILL eventually talk about:
1) That Creative Director that nailed the Account Director and both got fired.
You cannot imagine how many times this shit happens in advertising. And while I do have to say that interagency screwing does happen in all types of positions... it has been very interesting fact that in the last months we received TWO great stories about this exact theme and we're deciding if we're running them or not. I'll give you two hints: one place is the 50th largest country in the world and the other was where the Piña Colada was invented. In the first case, there was even a blog written with all the girls that banged such CD - with pictures, dates and everything. Ouch!

2) The Huge Ad Agency that lost that Huge Account.
Happens all day long. Stop yapping about it, this is a cycle and it repeats itself. Now go on, enjoy life. One day it will happen at your agency. Deal with it.

3) Job Hunting Hour.
Basically it can be defined as people starting to list all the available spots so that we all know who got fired and who quit and moved on to another agency. You cannot believe how many people find jobs this way.

4) That poor Traffic dudette who takes her kid to work - and annoys everyone in the process.
I will gladly say what other people won't tell you to your face. We are very sorry that no one can take care of your kid and you have to bring him to work... but YOU HAVE TO FIX IT. An agency is NO PLACE for a kid. Once in a blue moon is ok, but every day is just ABSURD. Fix it. Why? We can't work. Sorry, but it's true. Loud noises, being careful that we don't talk about penis, shafts or fisting is not cool. Also, we're not their parents, so when they fall we cannot be there to get them up all the time. Get a nanny, call your sister, get more money and get your kid a decent place for he or she to be while you are working. They deserve way much better.

5) Coworkers hating on other coworkers.
In 80% of the time, ad people hate each other to death. They have egos so big that they cannot tolerate other people doing good. So as much as your coworkers praise you, behind your backs and most of all with alcohol inside them they will shred you to death. They will talk about your crap design, your shitty copywriting skills... rumors will start to fly about you snorting coke, about you banging that secretary... just sad. This you just have to accept it. You don't see it but you have to believe it happens. Like Jesus.

I can go on and on. Seriously, people. We need to start engaging in much more cool conversations. There is a world out there filled with cool and interesting topics, such as movies, dogs, sex, shit, getting plastered at a beach, traveling, eating Ortolan (hey there Restrictions!), the huge moon a couple of nights ago, the fact that no person should watch Skyline without some sort of penalty, the war situation, stocks, great films, streaming Netflix at your house and... oh yeah, porn.

Longing to enjoy more decent conversations, Me.

PS: Stop sending me ad related crap to my email.

I will have to hunt you down and kill you.


Unknown said...

I work for a small independent phone directory/bi-annual magazine.
I have a difficult time believing I have done this for the last 10 years. I absolutely detest my job and half of the people I work with as they are a pathetic bunch of backstabbing asshats. Especially the sales reps. I've never seen a more self-centered, overpaid, self-entitled bunch of fucktards in my entire life. Honestly if I saw these people outside of work I'd walk to the opposite side of the street just to avoid any interaction whatsoever. I don't even care anymore about promoting some useless fucking company who will lie as bad as a sales rep to sell their useless products and services.

I wish our company would go bankrupt. At least I'd be forced to get off my lazy ass and find a different job.

Joker said...

Wow, hell of a comment. Ok, 10 years in the same job and feeling the way you do, the real question is why stay there at all? You hate the job, the people there suck, you seem to feel stuck and you have no belief whatsoever in what you do.

You talk about wishing the company went bankrupt so you would be forced to get off your lazy ass and find a different job.

I propose one easy question... do you have to get to that point? Do you have to wait for the situation to be “perfect” to embrace change?

Some reasons you might offer to justify staying...

1. The economy is bad.

Though you do have a point, I can respond by saying that if you don’t look elsewhere and attempt something else, you won’t need to get fired or wait for bankruptcy, first you’ll have a heart attack or some other health related condition and either become disabled or die, two options which at least take you out of the job that leeches off you.

2. I don’t know what else to do.

If you were able to write that comment, you have some sort of skill you can use elsewhere. If by all means, you don’t have any other skills, which I highly doubt, what’s keeping you from learning something else.

3. I don’t believe in myself

Well here’s your lucky day, some random blogger in the blogosphere thinks otherwise. Your anger is a gift my friend, use it to fuel a fucking fire that can make a difference and get to the point where you not only stand the person looking at you from the other side of the mirror, but want to have his babies.

4. I’ve been in this job too long

This isn’t Shawshank Redemption... you can make it on the outside and you can do whatever you want.
5. Nobody really cares...

Then why have I put a link and spent more than 300 words on a comment on a blog post from 2011?

Cheers my friend

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