Apr 29, 2011

The Royal Whoop-dee-dooooo

Oh Hooray it’s the Royal who gives a fuck

If anyone is enthralled, enthused and enraptured by the Royal Wedding, I apologize for this tirade. Everyone has the right to be a fan of any type of social event they choose and if I can froth about a boxing match, people should have the right to be able to go apeshit over the Royal Wedding. But seriously… what gives?

Starting with the fact that this monarchy is a paper monarchy, has no say whatsoever in anything and that the event is long as fuck, I simply have to stare and wonder why the hell people insist on this being such a big deal.

“What will the dress be like?”

“Would you marry a prince?”

“I can’t believe she’s going to really be a queen!”

And other superlative sentences that read as if they were pried off some lame daytime drama or British kiddie book. I just don't understand what all the chatter is about. These people don’t matter. They’re stuck up, pretentious, spoiled and irrelevant. Yet every time some royal couple is getting married, people seem to hoot and holler while I can’t even find myself even remotely giving a fuck.

People, these are pompous people getting married. I know I’m not British, but I think the same could go for any monarchy. Queen Elizabeth? Woohoo. Like I give a shit her face appears in currency. Seriously, if I had a list of 1,000 people whom I could have lunch or dinner with, no king or queen would be on there because face it, it’s been centuries since a truly interesting monarch has been on a throne ruling.

Today’s monarchies are nothing more than grownups playing dressup with a very expensive wardrobe. It’s kiddies having tea with tangible albeit still imaginary friends (seriously, how many real friends can royalty have?).

This whole ruckus with the Royal Wedding serves more than anything to serve notice that our priorities are still fucked in the head and that as a species, our evolution has been dedicated to finding better ways to entertain ourselves more instead of improving ourselves.

Oh wait, I'm missing out on the 7th hour of E! coverage. Be back in a tick... what the bloody fuck?


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...