May 25, 2011

It’s not just a dog

Mortality is a peculiar concept when life gets in the way. Preconceived notions and our fears often jumble into a senseless mish mash of emotion and depending on the day, the person and the circumstances, we react differently.

My dog just passed away.

For someone who isn’t a dog lover, the most normal reply would be to say, “No worries it’s just a dog.” But it isn’t that easy, it isn’t that simple and it isn’t that trivial.

B. was more than just a dog, and I’m sure you’re going to hear that often from most dog enthusiasts. Another thing that will sound typical is that he was one of my best friends and that I loved him dearly. I state these things up front because this isn’t the first time I lose a canine member of my family and it isn’t the first time I feel this way.

If you ask a dog lover about their dog, the amount of stories abound. If you hear them in the midst of talking about their dog you’d swear that they were talking about the coolest person in the world. If a dog lover suddenly loses one of their dogs, it’s devastating.

For my part, today hasn’t been an easy day to say the least. I lost a friend and a brother - a child even. I spoiled B. so much it’s no wonder he always came to me for treats and attention. But when I’d lie down on the floor for hours scratching him, he wouldn’t dare leave even to take a pee break. He reacted to my moods endlessly better than most mere mortals. He also had a knack for always knowing when to butt his nose in my business, by literally butting his cold nose against my leg, my arm or my cheek, depending on whether he wanted to call my attention or just show affection.

In his own way, he probably got to know me better than most people. I would look into those big brown eyes and be forced to smile and give him a hug because since he was a dog, I could bare my soul to him and he wouldn’t judge, wouldn’t critique, hell he wouldn’t even offer any pointers. He’d just wag his tail and insist on enjoying my company… and sometimes I wish more people could do just that.

There are a thousand things I might have once wanted to say and for him to understand my words. But when you think about it, when it comes to dogs, often times there’s no need for words… and again, I wish more people could do just that.

I’m gonna miss you kid.



Me said...

Bro, I feel your loss with all my heart. I know there is nothing I can tell you to ease the pain - but maybe I can offer what I often think when it will be my time to say goodbye to my sweet D: he knows.

He knows how much you loved him, he knows how much you trusted him. All your words, he understood.

I don't want to call you while you are working because I know you need to find a way to concentrate - somehow. But I wanted to let you know that I'm here for you, I'm here to listen, I'm here just to be near just in case you need someone to hold on to.

Much much love and a über big hug for you huns.

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