May 31, 2011

A message to the idiot chick who flew next to me: TURN OFF YOUR SHIT WHEN YOU ARE FLYING.

I now know that I have patience. For me, you see, this is a huge deal. I have always suffered from lacking the ability to take my anger in a calm way. I usually explode and say things right off the bat. So when last night came and I was sitting next to a total douchebag idiot woman who refused to turn off her damn BlackBerry and her Kindle... I found myself just breathing and taking it slowly.

While I really wanted to kick her in her boobs and throw her out of the plane... it was a miracle... I just sat there, amazed at her and said nothing. Guys, you have no idea what this means. I actually was able to shut my mouth and not rip her a new one for making all of us feel uncomfortable while being on the air. And yes, the flight attendant chewed her butt very nicely - without my help.

Look. I don't care if air travel is way dangerous if we let our iPads or phones on during the entire flight. All of us at one point have not noticed such a huge mistake of leaving it turned on during the whole flight - and realized that we didn't live an episode of Lost. In fact, maybe it is all just nonsense and our equipment does not affect whatsoever the airplane at all. I really, really don't care. Wanna know why?

Because I don't want to bet dying on a motherfucking airplane to see if it's true or not!!!!!

Yeah! I'd rather die of anything else BUT on a plane accident! Yeah! You can decapitate me, I can get shot, I can get nailed by a bear. Choose whatever you want BUT going down to my death on a metal tube with wings.

The fact that people do not respect that single and moronic rule gets me really riled up. Do you really need to Facebook at 40thousand feet in the air, you blonde moron? You cannot fathom the idea of turning that little black thing off for a couple of hours? YOU CANNOT CALL ANYBODY, YOU DUMB SORRY EXCUSE OF A WOMAN! Can't you follow any type of instructions... at all?

Jesus H. Christ. I find it so disrespectful when people just blatantly ignore safety rules at an airplane. Really. People take so much for granted. Maybe the Low IQ bleached bimbette next to me has not read much about planes going down. When I was a small child you read about that crap a lot. Yes, airplane travel is much safer than any other means of transportation. That does not excuse her behavior or the simple rules that we all have to abide to when we hop on your garden variety airplane.

So yeah. A toast to all ignorant people who cannot, for the life of them, turn off their equipment for 15 minutes of their time on a flight.

I really despise you.

Much love, Me.


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