Jun 15, 2011

Frankenstein was not born, it was created. Deal with it.


It all started with a phone call. Then the monster growled and all the people got scared and ran away. The funny thing about life is that sometimes it resembles a very B-Movie drama/horror flick. I guess it's our choice to stay the course, eat the popcorn and watch - or leave the theater early to have some fun doing something else.

This post is about family. It's about the impact family members can have on people. As you know by now, I'm the worst cynic ever. I find it hard to believe in people. Jesus, (pun intended) I don't even believe in God. And also, I have some issues with family as well. Sometimes, it's just not for me.

Maybe it's that I was raised basically alone with my mom. Maybe it was the fact that when I tried to reach out to my family, they looked at me like I was some wicked witch and they had no trouble in burning me. Why? I was the first child of a family that came from divorce. Holy crap, call the Pope. This is a child that has come from the loins of two people who decided not to live together anymore. The infamy!

I had a great childhood, but it was slightly mixed with some sarcasm and weird looks from most of the members of my family. At first, I could not understand what it was. Being to young, I could not get people and their dramas. I could not fathom the idea that people would reflect their frustrations on others, less a small young girl who had no clue of what happened before she came into the world.

I started noticing some weird comments when I was a teenager. Oddly enough, the worst part was that I realized this was happening while I decided to look for my dad. While I was on a journey to sheer pain - it took a while to understand that he just didn't have an interest in me as his kid - my family started to make me feel even worse because I stopped trying. At the point that I removed one specific family member of my life, because I wanted to be happy... they turned on me.

They insisted on chastising me on issues of not calling him, not going to see him, not talking to my siblings... then, as I didn't enjoy being there that much, they started on the "you need to be here" thing, "you need to call". Funny thing was? They never called me. I was supposed to do all the work. Call the dad, call the siblings, call the uncles - but no, not one called me.

I stopped dialing that phone. I stopped driving that car. I stopped going to family gatherings. I preferred to stay home rather than come crying after a BBQ or a birthday party. I guess there are few people who can say that they have come back mentally drained from a family gathering... or depressed. The mental abuse was so awful, I started to disappear. And I felt better. I felt free. Granted, I had almost no family left, but I felt better, alone.

THen... I discovered that true family can also be the great friends you make. These people actually call me - and I'm glad to call back. They are with me on my tough moments, they nail the shit out of me if I'm doing something wrong, they listen if I have doubts. And like a true family, there are some that resemble siblings, there are some that resemble father figures - the two things I never could have.

The point is simple. I write this because - as much as that call hurt a bit - I sailed through it. But there are some people out there that cannot overcome this huge hurdle. If you have kids, if you have a family - take one moment to see how you impact them. Is it in a good way? Is it sort of shitty? Do you criticize almost every time? Do you pass your values on to others and don't accept any different? Have you abandoned your children? Have you not gave a shit about other people's feelings or situations?

Then don't come whining if they are not interested in being part of your weird science anymore. Don't you see? You created this person. You made that person not want to be around you anymore. Yup. You plugged in too many things and something went awry. Instead of a happy camper who always says "yes" to every order you scream, you got a green monster, who wants not to be tied up and told what to do or what to think.

I'm so sorry if I escaped, but I had to. Life is so much better this side of the fairytale...

*Growl*. Me.

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