After a couple of years in the ad biz, you see a tendency of repetitive types of jobs you get in your inbox. I don’t refer to what you have to do regarding non-traditional media, radio, TV, print etc. I mean the essence of what a job is… their personality. You start seeing a pattern and you almost know what headaches await you just for having drawn the short straw. Here are a few types.
1. Jason Jobs
The job that just – won’t – die. No matter what approach, what angle, what tactics or instructions you receive, it is regurgitated by the system so you can try again… and again… and again. These types of jobs also happen to be little shit ads that are not important. They suck, they’re stupid and they won’t go away.
2. Sparkle Poop Jobs
When you have a questionable exec come to your desk to tell you about a great new project, take the time to see beyond the glitter and realize it’s just a glitzed up piece of shit. The exec proceeds to talk in a peppy Splenda sweetened Red Bull tone and before you realize what it is you exactly have to do, you have a deadline and are left alone to deal with the glitter turd that’s looking up at you from your desk.
Sometimes you piss off an exec. You might have said something insensitive, maybe you told them the truth or maybe you just bit their head off for leaving at 6 while you were stuck ‘til 11. This is a retaliatory job, sent just to fuck with you and make you regret you had the gall to tell them they suck to their face.
If you see a reasonable deadline, ALWAYS read the fine print. Once you prune the email origami, you see that below is a monster job that has 27 parts to do and suddenly you realize you have been attacked by the Frankenjob. What was supposed to be a layout or radio ad from what the Subject reads turns out to be a communications Cerberus. Countless heads, no weak points and no obvious way regarding to how you’re going to survive.
5. The Jewel
Ah yes, you have to keep an eye out for the Jewel. It’s the project equivalent to a unicorn. It’s well explained, has a comfortable deadline, the potential to be effective and creative and the client is willing to buy good ideas. It’s a job species in danger of extinction and if you happen to be the go-to guy, you rarely get these because since you aren’t a diva and focus on damage control, you are needed in the land of fans during a shit storm. If you get a jewel job, polish it, treat it with care and count your lucky stars.