Dear Eminem. No, it's not Stan again.

Hey Shady.

Funny that I picked that name, right? Nope. I picked it for a very special reason, my friend. Wait. Let's start from the beginning.

I consider myself very lucky. I took one of my bucket list items off a couple of weekends ago, I trekked down to Chicago to attend Lollapalooza. Em, it was magic. Best time I've ever had in quite a while. Lolla was sheer perfection, everything was going just great.

Then it was time to see you. Marshall, I sat down at a corner of the field from 4pm in the afternoon and waited for your white ass until 8pm. I even endured Cee Lo Green's disaster of a show before you (nah, let's just not go there, it was awful), because I didn't want to lose my spot. I had faith that your show was going to be fucking epic...

Can you explain to me, in very simple terms, what is it that you are doing? Yeah. I wanna know. Are you attempting to have a career after your recovery? Ok dude, if you really survived therapy, you must be aware that there is a time when people sit down and tell it as it is, so you understand what bad things YOU are doing. Consider this MY hard core truth moment with you.

Rapping over hit songs IS NOT original talent, dude. Really.

What gives, man? If I did that, I would too make it to the top of the charts! WHAT WAS THAT SHOW??? You mean to tell me that almost 80% of your songs now are just rap over other successful tunes? WHAT THE FUCK? How does that require talent? Oh cool, Bruno Mars got a hit with Light full of lighters, let's just rappityrap over it and bingo, a new song? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

Have some dignity, man. Create your own mediocre shit and present it to the world! Jesus! As a true hard core rap fan, it pisses me off that people still consider you a big deal with the shit you are doing right now. Yeah, some rappers do sampling, you are right. That's NOT what you are doing. You are taking a fucking complete song and doing rap intermissions, for God's sake.

Come on, even Eazy-E had original material! I just pray to something holy that your last work isn't produced by Dr. Dre, or I will burn my computer with all his work in it.

And yeah. I gave you less than an hour and left. A last thought: maybe a good part of the people who stayed there were so freaked out on drugs that they didn't notice that your show sucked. No worries, some of us did.

Shady, man. Shady.