Sep 28, 2011

5 Muppets that define: Me

You can ask yourself deep questions. You can try to figure the meaning of life, where are you headed, what are your long term goals. You can ask yourself what is your mission, what are you supposed to do in this earth. Ask away. I am sure that this question is the one that will make you think long and hard: which are your favorite muppets of all time? YES! YES! These are the questions that should keep you up at night! I mean, how can you possibly choose, right? Well, after a lot of thought, I think I got my list down. Here it is, enjoy.

1) Kermit The Frog
Come on, there is no other way that Kermit not be in the number one spot. It's his place in life. Kermit will always be the man, the green man, no matter what. He's kind, neurotic, has really bad taste in women. My kind of guy. He would be a great creative director! Picture him going bonkers on you for not delivering your 10 jobs! Right? Awesome meltdown.

2) The Count (AKA: Count von Count)
Ah, that accent. That extreme need to count everything. That laugh! Ah. Ah. Ah. That purple amazing suit. That elegant house... I can go on and on. The Count is one dandy cool as shit guy that YOU KNOW is down for having a great time when he's done counting. In my dreams, we go out to drink, he orders a bottle of whiskey, we play poker and we laugh at people who can't count. Brilliant.

3) Statler and Waldorf (Tie)
I can go back in time and remember exactly when I was a little girl. These two can totally take me back for one important thing: those were the guys I waited for, everytime the Muppet Show was on. I loved those two old bastards like you can't understand. In fact, I think that's where I got my sarcasm talent. Those guys were mean, they didn't like anything, they criticized without thinking, they had a disdain for... anything. I would have been honored to sit beside them at their little box, so I could join in the hate. Ah, the little pleasures in life.

4) Bert and Ernie (Tie)
This is a no brainer. The best buddies ever, that odd couple that you always kind of wondered... you know. You can be roommates for so long, man. This, my friends, for me is the ultimate tribute to a gay couple, a powerful image of two men who are friends - and so much more.

5) Animal
I like crazy. I like rowdy. Like me.

So there you go. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. If you love muppets like I do and grew up watching, there is no greater joy than going to FAO Schwarz and making your own Whatnot. I spent three glorious hours making my own, and I felt all those hours like a little girl. Even the guy that was helping me out was cracking up watching me go all fan-girl. It's pricey, but totally worth the experience. You will not smile more because it's not humanly possible.

Muppets forever!


Joker said...

Gonzo - He revels in being weird in different. Plus he's into chickens which means he loves breast... so you know.

Rizzo the Rat - Always made me laugh and an expert on busting everyone's balls... cheese or otherwise.

Swedish Chef - Seriously, how many times have I found myself ranting hurdy burdy booooo in the car.

Cookie Monster - everyone has an addiction, this guy comes out.

Count Von Count - Seriously, we look fucking related.

Me said...


Lucila said...

1. Miss Piggy, she's the first proclaimed BBP, Big Beautiful Pig. She has an attitude problem and a volcano waiting to explode. Just annoy her (or call her fat) and you will see.

2. Gonzo... weird, unclassified. A real basket case and true artist of the weird but never failing to be cute and endearing.

3. Big Bird...just a big cute lovable bird. I blame him for my addiction to really tall guys.

4. Kermit, he's the boss. His big gulps always cracks me up. Even the weirdest one needs a leader.

5. Rizzo the Rat. His the perfect sidekick. Funny, sarcastic, in your face and always hungry.

Note: People who know me might think that I would chose the Cookie Monster but while I think he's cute when I was a little kid I found him unnerving.

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