So you made three good ads in one year, hooray for you

Working in advertising, the odds of encountering fevered egos that have convinced themselves they are god’s gift to the world are actually quite high. I’m not saying it doesn’t take skill to do advertising, I’m just saying that it’s much less of a deal than some jackasses make it out to be. Having done my time in 6 agencies, I know just how big an ego can inflate itself over a meaningless ad, and truth be told, it’s a bit nauseating.

You see, if you think your typical artist is full to the brim with conceit for the rest of mankind and a sense of entitlement that would make a toddler seem humble and generous in comparison, that’s nothing compared to a pretentious copywriter or artist. The level of douchery is staggering to say the least because though there is skill required, let’s remember people, it’s an advert we’re doing. It’s not a song, it’s not a movie, it’s not a painting, it’s not story/screenplay/book… it’s a means to an end and the end is sales or communication… that’s it.

But noooo… Don’t tell that to Sir Fuckface or Madam Cuntmerta, because they are The Shit (note the caps) and you should fucking bow to them. Actually, you should go to a rose garden, kill all the roses, pluck the petals and grace their steps with freshly murdered flowers. Better yet, you should carve out a stone idol in their image and hold your breath in their presence because you are not worthy.

Seriously, some day these people with fucking crash land on Earth and I’ll be the first one to rejoice at the sidewalk splatter of their egos because it’s not that I wish ill on these people, it’s just that a reality check is more than do and they annoy other people enough to receive such a check full on facial style (eyes open and up the nostrils wouldn’t be bad either). You are not the shit for making a good ad or a good campaign and you must always remember that you are only as good as the last ad you made.

Oh and if that’s not enough of a reminder of your role in reality, by all means take this nugget of knowledge and use it as a suppository:

Great accounts and understanding clients showcase potential… it’s what you do when you’re faced with a piece of shit client, no budget and a plummeting brand that truly shows how good you are.

Cheers