Dear Brook asked, WAS answered: Questions for Juniors!

Experience comes with grudges and Dear Brook knows that we are pissed off. So she decided to write us to see if we could shed some light - or truth - to some young people out there who are starting out.

Go to Dear Brook to see our first batch of answers. It's very cool!

I'll keep you posted when new questions arrive to her doorstep. Enjoy! And thanks Brook for letting us participate in such a wonderful thing! Scaring ad people away is our bread and butter!

Now that it got an Oscar... will you go see it? Inside Job

Very well deserved Oscar. Loved the movie. If you have savings, a house, a car, a mortgage... you need to see this film. ASAP.

Wait a minute. Is this mega soft porn?

2010 in Music - Brandon Boyd- The Wild Trapeze – B

You just have to take a look at the cover of Brandon Boyd’s solo album to have question marks sprouting from every pore. If like me you were blown away by the first four tracks of the last Incubus album Light Grenades only to be disgusted by the remaining 9, then as me, you might have given a listen with hope but a healthy grain of salt. Luckily for us fans, this tight album is actually quite good and a far superior product than Light Grenades. Well except for the production. Where Light Grenades was produced by Rock guru Brendan O’brien who did his best to make it all work, The Wild Trapeze was produced by Dave Fridmann (not a slouch by any means). I mention this fact because the audio in the tracks I’ve listened to sound a bit overblown and almost distorted. Supposedly it was a production decision, but it sounds a bit weird and if you read around enough, you’ll see some people have an issue with that. The production quibble aside, these 10 tracks prove Brandon has not lost his mojo and that when focused, he can still deliver Morning View and A Crow Left of the Murder worthy tracks. The album starts off with the Title track which has enough bite and swagger to make you forget Earth to Bella almost completely. The second track is “Here Comes Everyone”, another mellow number with good melodies and a catchy croon that like the Title track, entices you to give the entire album a shot since the chorus is solid, though not epic, which is more than fine. In general, I can describe the experience of the Wild Trapeze by comparing it to the side project of Silverhcair’s frontman The Dissociatives. The influences of the original are there, but this is a different beast. Actually, “Dance while the Devil Sleeps” sounds like something that could have come from the Dissociative’s self titled album. “A night without cars” is another great number and one of the more solid tracks on the album, showcasing interesting instrumentation, production flourishes and a solid vocal performance if Brandon ever had one. Then you have two decent filler tracks in “Revenge of the Spectral Tiger” which sounds endlessly more interesting than what it is and “Courage and Control”, a ballad which I don’t mind… unlike “Love Hurts” which always manages to make me to vomit a little. Then comes the “Pantomime”-like album single “Runaway Train”, a solid track that follows the vibe set at the beginning of the album with another solid chorus and enough beef to showcase the best of Brandon solo. Then you have “Last Night a Passenger” and “Mirror of Venus” which are safe enough, unintruding, inoffensive but far from revolutionary. The album ends with “All Ears Avow” which is a fun number that carries along the sonic motif for the album. So in the end, if anything, The Wild Trapeze basically shows that Brandon Boyd does have the ability to make an album’s worth of decent songs, but that without the direction of his fellow Incubans, he might put out a descent record, but he won’t go stellar.

Highlight Tracks: The Wild Trapeze, Here Comes Everyone, A night without cars, Runaway Train,

Radiohead – The King of Limbs A++

For those of you who hadn't heard, Radiohead released an album last week. Every single album Radiohead has released has had me clicking play and Repeat All so I can truly take the music in. Along with Tool, Pearl Jam, and Nine Inch Nails, Radiohead is one of a handful of bands that when I listen to I give all my attention to, I put myself in different situations to appreciate the album and I listen looking for the next album that will make an imprint in my life.

With Radiohead, every single album has been a rewarding experience in itself, including the band shunned Pablo Honey, the oddly overlooked Hail to the Thief and the misunderstood and under-appreciated Amnesiac. From Pablo Honey I can mention Blow Out, Everyone can Play Guitar and the most epic Stop Whispering as songs that truly hold water and really are satisfying with each subsequent listen. From Amnesiac you have Like Spinning Plates, Knives Out, Pyramid Song, Packt Like Sardines in a Tin Can and the quietly angry You and Whose Army. From Hail to the Thief there’s the excellent opener 2 + 2 = 5, the beautiful Sit Down Stand Up, There There, I will, the creepy We Suck Young Blood and the wonderful closer A Wolf At the Door.

That last paragraph is simply to establish that even a “weak” Radiohead album probably contains some of the best music you will hear in a year, a decade or maybe your life. So where does The King of Limbs figure in all of this? If I had to describe based on previous albums, think of Kid A and In Rainbows having a love child and I think that’s what King of Limbs is to me. It is its own monster and an album that for 37 minutes doesn’t let up. Actually the opening track sounds like Radiohead channeling a tribute to Gustavo Cerati’s Tabú from his second album Bocanada, but it sounds nothing like it. There are drum loops and there are electronic bleeps, but it’s all hauntingly organic. Unlike Kid A that felt like the existential cry of a sapient robot, The King of Limbs starts off with something that plays equally well in your mind with fast forwarded footage or things going in slow motion because it does both at the same time. It unravels, growing into a ghostly beauty that sets the overall tone for the album.

If I had to describe the vibe present in the King of Limbs, I think the video for Lotus Flower describes it perfectly. It’s you waking up on a chilly Sunday morning in a life that might seem bleak, but that it is not hopeless. Everything is black and white. The tea you are sipping is delicious and you can’t help but dance in your underwear throughout your entire house. It’s got a shoulder sway to it in various songs that invites everyone to not care and let the beats dictate where your body leans to. Morning Mr. Magpie does nothing to change this vibe. You still want to dance in ordinary places like a bank line and show people that you don’t give a flying, landed, or swimming fuck. Music reigns supreme and this music tells you to move. You see hints of all past albums painting a pastiche that is all its own. A different dish with familiar ingredients and something secret added to the mix.

Then Little by Little fades in and you feel echoes of Amnesiac peeking from around the corner. In reality, it’s a devil track dressed up in an Amnesiac suit. It’s got the tailor lines, but moves to its own rhythm, it’s subtle in its composition and doesn’t scream “look at me” but if you listen closely there are so many layers to the track that thinking anyone else could make a song like this means you think Coldplay is the greatest band ever. To be honest, if any track really lets you know that this is an album that you should also listen to with headphones, it’s Little by Little because it sounds simple if you don’t pay attention. Feral then swings by to continue urging you to move your limbs, walk with a beat and feel as well as listen. Basically memories of Kid A play on a track that could easily make its way onto a dance floor and afterwards comes the first album single. The music video is quite unlike anything I’ve ever seen by Radiohead and although it’s not my favorite video, if anything it captures the essence of the entire album with just Thom Yorke dancing in black and white. Elaborating more would be counterproductive, so just put your headphones on and dance if your body wants to, it quite possibly will. Since I heard the song I can’t stop thinking of a beautiful woman dancing in her flat wearing nothing except a torn t-shirt, and comfortable undergarments. I see her stepping to the beat and she doesn’t care if someone is watching. She is in her world and the only thing that matters is that she obeys the whims of her undulating body. A bit elaborate for a mental picture, but hey, such is I.

Then comes Codex, a slow song that unfolds itself at its own pace. It’s a break in the overall danceable feel to the album and if anything, it feels as if you have just danced your way up to a cliff without realizing it and now you’re looking to the horizon and taking a moment to contemplate. You are looking down at the rocks below, wonder about a million things, sit down and cradle your warmest thoughts, your saddest feelings and resolve to accept whatever is in your tank. It’s quite haunting but it doesn’t feel as immersed in despair as some other Radiohead tracks like I will or Bulletproof I wish I was. The seventh track has you coming down from that cliff and is surprisingly airy and lighthearted given that the entire song repeats the verse (Don’t hurt me) throughout. Maybe it has to do with the duo of acoustic and electric guitars but it’s a song that feels uplifting and it’s a lovely bit that leads into the final track, Separator. The funny thing is that this track does with this album as the other songs do with other Radiohead albums. It’s not that it sounds out of place, it’s just that it sounds as if it’s taking what was built in the first 7 tracks and is starting to head into a different direction which truly prompts the belief that the lyrics may actually reveal intentions from the band… simply put: if we think this is over, then we’re wrong.


Highlight Tracks: The entire album, but especially – Bloom – Morning Mr. Magpie – Codex – Lotus Flower – Give up the Ghost - Separator

Joker musical sidenote

Seeing the length of the 2010 in music posts, I've also decided to review noteworthy albums throughout the year as soon as I listen to them. So sorry for the overdose of music, but hope you enjoy.

Cheers

2010 in Music - Deftones – Diamond Eyes – B+

If you’ve never liked Deftones, get ready to not change your opinion. If however they are your cup of tea, trust that Diamond Eyes delivers their most concise album yet. Though not as great as their very fine White Pony or as raw as Adrenaline or Around the Fur, Diamond Eyes has them taking the essence of Saturday Night Wrist while giving it the crunch of their Self Titled album. There’s not beating around the bush in this album and they give it to you straight and hard, with some spacey numbers thrown in the mix to freshen things up in their chugga chugga goodness. Deftones have pretty much crafted as good a cd as a Drop-D band (any band who predominantly plays or sounds like it’s playing in Drop-D tuning) with criptic lyrics as per usual. As with all Deftones albums there are highlights, tracks filled with sonic mayhem and a couple of fillers, but unlike the Self titled album, the filler here is actually more than par for the course, meaning that this is one of their strongest releases yet.

Highlight Tracks: Rocket Skates – Diamond Eyes – Sextape – You’ve seen the butcher - Prince

2010 in Music - Kings of Leon – Come Around Sundown – B+

Though I really like the last two Kings of Leon albums, I kind of have to ask where that raw country flavored rock band that ripped the hell out of Aha Shake Heartbreak is. Instead of tight groovy songs chock full of dirty hooks, we have the arena rock version of KOL, which isn’t a bad thing, I just miss some of the grit they used to have. “The End” has the kings picking up where they left off in Only by Night. There’s a great bass line, there are guitar tricks to be enjoyed, it’s a good quasi mellow opener and it definitely reflects the cover of the album. Actually this is one of those albums that sound EXACTLY like what you see on the cover. “Radioactive” brings up the beat a bit more and you swear they’re warming up the engines. The song is catchy and groovy and you can definitely see yourself driving home after a good surf session. Actually, that’s a great way of describing the album. It’s something you hear after surfing to wind down. It’s not something you put on to pump yourself up and the album is definitely lacking more rocking numbers which is either good or bad, depending on which KOL songs you like. “Pyro” is another great song with slight delay effects and echo, a solid hook and a closer to any good day you’ve had. Then for the fourth track, they bring out “Mary” a different type of track they might have deemed necessary to spice things up, but it does nothing to achieve liftoff. “The Face” is another great mellow rocker and actually one of the highlights of the album, but again, no liftoff. As Jack Black would say it, these guys are in dire need of some rocket sauce.


Highlight Tracks: The End, Radioactive, Pyro, The Face, No Money, Pickup Truck

2010 in Music - The Gracious Few – S/T – A-

From the ashes of the band Live two things exited: the vinegar douche sodden posturing of Ed Kowalczyk and The Gracious Few. The lashing courtesy of the previous sentence has nothing to do with the albums by Live from Throwing Copper to The Distance to Here. Those three albums I actually really like even if there are details that make you go WTF. The reason for the lashing is due to Ed seemingly backstabbing his bandmates in the royalties department and demanding a lead singer bonus during a live gig. By all means don’t believe me and look up all the rumors. The point is that Kowalczyk always came off as a bit of an asshole and this just proves said theory right. So what does that have to do with The Gracious Few? Well musically nothing, which is a great thing if you happened to hear Live’s last two albums. Instead, you have here a set of songs that sound like an obscure 90’s title that quietly pleased anyone who was lucky enough to put it in their record player. Pretty much take the band from Live sans Ed and add the guitarist and lead singer for Candlebox. The result is anything but pupa stage and sounds remarkably solid and motivated, as if the band has something to prove. The funny thing is that these guys do not advertise themselves as a super group even if both prior bands for the members had chart toppers at some time or another, and that’s just fine. If you’re looking for revolutionary music, then you should check out some other bands on this list. But if you want a solid rock record that surpasses the sum of its parts to show that good bands can emerge from the ashes of their former groups, then by all means, listen on.

Highlight tracks: Honest Man, The Few, Appetite, Crying Time, What’s Wrong, Tredecim, Nothing but Love, Sing

2010 in Music - Eels – End Times – B+

When you’re an Eels fan, you need to take the good with the depressing and End Times is an album odd in the sense that at least when you start off the album with the sad but lovely “The Beginning”, you think, oh this is a downer album. Then you have “Gone Man” and if you focus on the beat, you think it got happy… but read the lyrics, they’re anything but, which leads right to “Into My Younger Days”, a classic sad Eels song with sad lyrics, but deep beneath the muck of woe, there seems to be some hope, and you start seeing light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is the minimum glimpse. It’s as if E. has found some type of catharsis through depression. “La Mansion of los Feliz” isn’t a happy number if you read it, but if you listen to it, it’s almost as if someone is witnessing the end of the world and they’re not only ok with it, but whistling while it all flushes down. In the end, I think the real message comes through in “A line in the dirt”. A relationship is on the brink, it’s about to end and it’s about that whole process one goes through as it all goes to crap and that whatever we say in those times and feel at the moment and years later, it’s all ok because those will just be the scars we’ll wear in the future. Then comes the quasi doo wop goodness of one of the higher points in the album “Paradise Blues”, where a call to drop the sarcasm and let the love in rings quite true. Simply put, whereas Blinking Lights and other revelations was a testament of the beauty of depression, there was no intension of getting out of the muck. It was the responsibility of the listener to learn from despair, but to stay in it. In End Times, there’s just a feeling as if that same sadness is there, but that it’s time to move on, and it’ll take 14 tracks to get you there. In between, you’ll also find a great new breakup song in “Unhinged” where the guy basically sleeps on the couch for months on end, is left with only a girl with crazy eyes who’s pretty much lost it. Then near the end, you hear the very pretty “Little Bird” and how the speaker is having a conversation with a little bird, hoping that everything will be ok and the last track, “On my feet” says that although everything is not alright, he’s still on his feet. Consider this one of the better getting-through-a-breakup albums ever written because the theme endures throughout.

Highlight Tracks: The Beginning, Gone Man, a line in the dirt, Paradise Blues, Unhinged, Little Bird, on my feet

2010 in Music - Eels – Tomorrow Morning – A-

I’ve always been a big Eels fan. While other people thought some of their later releases weren’t that good, I’ve honestly never had a problem with Mark Everett or the music he’s made with his band. The only down point in a solid catalog would be Blinking Lights and Other Revelations, not because that album isn’t amazing, but because if you listen to it, odds are you will sink into some sort of audio induced depression not easily surpassed. It’s that sad.

Regardless, 2010 had two Eels albums and I was more than happy to shell out the cash to listen in to what our dear E had in store for the faithful. Though both titles were actually quite solid, the third offering of what is supposed to be a trilogy was the one that caught my attention the most. (Hombre Lobo, End Times and Tomorrow Morning should be taken as one extended narrative and it does make sense when you hear them back to back). In Tomorrow Morning, Eels bring new tricks to the table and offer up one of their most memorable and instantly engaging albums. Sure I eventually found delight in Shootenanny and Souljacker and found great tunes from my listens of Hombre Lobo and End Times, but Tomorrow Morning offers electronic nuances that give a whole new spin to the Eels sound and works in pretty much every track on the album. “The Morning” is a track that sounds as if a beautiful piece of origami is being unfolded to show that within is a great message, “I’m a Humming Bird” sounds as if Everett is channeling his inner Peter Gabriel and “This is where it gets good” is probably one of the best songs Eels have put out since Electro Shock Blues, a track which invites you to invent your own shuffle to dance on a relaxed and happy Sunday morning. Add to this tracks like “What I Have to Offer” which sees Eels traversing through familiar ground, but in unfamiliar fashion, and Tomorrow Morning becomes one of my favorite albums from this band. Even on tracks that aren’t exactly strong points like the church worthy “Looking up”, non-stellar tracks are whimsical and catchy enough not only to forgive but to enjoy since the lyrics push you into the realm of being positive, which is the best aspect of this album. For the first time in a long while, there’s optimism floating in the tracks and the album as a whole is just the better for it, not to mention the band.

Highlight Tracks: The Morning, I’m a Humming Bird, What I have to Offer, This is where it gets good.

2010 in Music

For the last couple of years, I've written long ass posts regarding the best music I found in the preceding year. To make things a bit more simple, instead of one long ass posts, I'll write shorter posts with breakdowns recommending highlight tracks, giving a review and a grade and overall thoughts about the album. Hope this helps you find more good tunes to listen to.

Cheers

Pissed off Superman is cool! DC Universe Online.

The Little Logo that Could

Nothing reflects how absurd the ad business is quite like logo design. When the assignment calls for creating a “graphic brand identity,” get ready to enter the Twilight Zone, a world in which up is down, down is up, and rational thinking is the stuff of pure fiction.

This is especially true when it comes to determining what to charge for a logo. Why do some logos cost $10 and others $10 million? How is logo value/worth calculated?

Nike, the world’s most recognizable sports brand and a cultural icon, paid $35 for its infamous swoosh symbol in 1971. THIRTY-FIVE DOLLARS!!! That’s dinner for two!

Twitter, one of the brands leading the social network revolution and catalyst of the paradigm shift we’re experiencing in journalism, marketing, advertising, public relations, and communications in general, paid a whopping $15 dollars for its logo. That’s a hand-job on Chicago’s South Side.

Now let’s talk about ANZ.

What is ANZ, you ask?

Why, ANZ is a bank that ONLY does business in Australia and New Zealand. And yet their logo, pictured above, cost not one penny less than FIFTEEN MEEELLION DOLLARS!!! Let me say it again: $15 million for a logo.

So how is it that a no-name bank with no international presence or significant impact in the industry/culture pays so much for a (crappy) logo? More importantly, who is the design shop ballsy enough to pass on that invoice?

As you can see, reason has gone out the window.

I’ve been wrapping my brain around this for a while and cannot come up with an explanation, aside from snobby clients and equally snobby ad agencies that feel better about the work if it costs a lot. The parent company of the shop I work at (hint: the first of its many names starts with “S” and ends with “I”) has no problem charging $35K for a three-fold brochure, or $50K for a focus group. The thing is, the client is OK with that as well, so everyone is happy.

It just makes me feel sorry for other colleagues who have to fight tooth and nail to get a client to pay $300 for a website, let alone a logo.

So I put the question out there: How does one go about pricing a logo? What is the formula?

On a very personal note, I am a true believer in that the brand makes the logo, not vice versa. The reason why Coca-Cola, Apple, IBM, Microsoft, Ford, etc. are leading brands is not because of their logos; it’s because they are great companies with great products. In fact, their logos are downright ugly and boring. It angers me to see my creative brethren work weeks on end designing logos that need to be explained too much, and then have the AE say shit like, “It doesn’t reflect the brand’s core values…”

A crappy logo is not synonymous with a crappy product/service. A cool logo doesn’t make your product/service better. No one aside from marketing snobs reads into the “symbolism” of logos.

Click on the title of the post to see a list of what the world’s most famous logos cost. You’ll be surprised.

Chef Joker at his finest: The Ad Agency Menu (Rerun)

Blowjob and Block party are two very different words, dude.

Damn. Even the trailer is scary: Peacock

Stop it!

Give me my walking papers to the life I wanted to have: The very belated Lemonade review.

A couple of months ago while watching some tv program I stumbled on a very curious interview about a man who had done some horrible things to a little girl. As time went by, the girl healed as much as she could and went on with her life.

What struck me was one of his answers. He was asked if he understood what he did to her.

"I killed what she could have been".

That line shook me to my core.

Now fast forward to a week or two after that. Changing channels I stumble upon the documentary Lemonade, which I had seen a while ago. Damn, I thought, I didn't write about this movie at WAS! How could I?

So here is my very belated but still very - and I mean very - important documentary that ALL ADVERTISING PEOPLE SHOULD SEE. Yeah, that's right. I don't care if you're a receptionist or a CEO. You need to see this movie.

Yeah you can skip Art & Copy with no problem - you will not learn a thing about the business more than stroking your ego a bit - but you cannot, and I repeat, cannot miss this movie. I can already picture you guys out there thinking that I'm exaggerating. Well, you're wrong. Let me tell you why.

Can you remember what you wanted to do when you were at College? Can you think back and tell me what you daydreamed about doing in the future? Oh well maybe you can tell me all the times that you find yourself doing some stupid revision or pissed of at a client or a fellow ad person... and you think about what you would love to do instead of being there. We've all been there. We've thought about doing something great, something awesome - and usually, it seldom is related to anything about advertising.

Maybe you want to paint. Maybe you want to be a teacher. Maybe you want to open up your own cool beer place. There are so many things you would like to do but... you're working at an ad agency.

Look. This post is really not for people who are starting out. Or maybe, this post is not for people who love the long hours, the stress, the good days and the bad days and most of all for those who really think that this work means something more than just making a promotion about X brand. There ARE some people out there who really love their job, kudos to them, enjoy it. Then, there are the ones that did enjoy their career for a while but then... it dawned on us.

Advertising killed what we could have become.

Harsh. I know. This is why Lemonade is so important for you to watch. It is a film about people who got fired from their jobs and how they took what is a really scary moment in their lives... and made it the best moment of their lives. They were given their walking papers to another life. A life that they wanted, full of quality time for them and their families. A better career. The best thing that could have happened to them was actually getting fired because they were able to do what the rest of us are just thinking: what they REALLY wanted to do.

Today is February 22, 2011 and I'm still working on retiring from advertising. I still get up, get dressed and go and do a gazillion ads a week. When I started my own business, I thought that I could get enough money so I would be able to do something else and slowly let go of the beast called ads. It has been years and I still try with no avail. I'm still stuck here, watching the ads go by and my wishes of not doing it anymore with them.

The thing that angers me is that I remembered my mission while catching the last minutes of the movie. As I sat there and listened to people describe how it feels not to do this anymore, the pain was great. I longed for that feeling, where I did whatever I really want to do and not have to do ads, revisions, stupid full page ads... ever again.

What would I love to do? Well, if blogging actually made money, I would be a happy camper just writing for you guys all day long. Ok so back to reality, maybe I could open up a small hotel by the beach. Maybe I can invest in a cool restaurant idea and open up a shop of something yummy. Maybe someone sees that I really like to write, offers up a decent gig at a magazine and I can quit my ad life for good...

Lemonade does that to you. It inspires you to be the person that advertising is killing. To make you think, to make you remember all those wishes and dreams, all the weird things you even wanted to be when you were a young and not so wise kid. I cannot believe that ALL of us wanted to do this. I certainly did not. I wanted to write. I wanted to paint. I wanted to be a photographer. Now I can't even picture myself going to an art store and buying a canvas and some paint.

This business is killing me... but Lemonade reminded me that I can fight back.

Wish me luck.

A LIFE ON FACEBOOK.

For those of you three people that haven't seen this already.

My First year working at Advertising.

I've been thinking about @advertisingweek's idea of writing about the first year we worked in advertising and decided that I would give it a try. I don't know how much I will be able to remember - but I sure know it's filled with stupid clichés, huge personal errors and lots of other stuff that students and people starting out should know... Hence the post.

So, I can remember that I started in the nineties (and let's leave it at that). I was young, stupid, overweight, somewhat lost in what I wanted to do and with no interest in working. But after a year of sheer poverty, I decided to give myself a chance to see if I could finally get a job - oh, I had to mention that I had NO self esteem and absolutely no character whatsoever. I was shy and afraid of... well, everything.

After a few interviews I finally landed my first job at a small agency as a copywriter. Trust me, I had absolutely no idea on what that title meant. None. I literally started learning at my job. I figured it little by little, bought myself some dictionaries, some proof-reading books and bingo.

I made the usual mistakes when I was starting out. Way too long body copies, headers that seemed like a paragraph, radio spots that didn't measure either 30ss or 60ss whatsoever and to make it worse, I always wanted to use that Prince or U2 song that I really liked... not understanding that it would cost a fortune and that the client's budget for production was only 3k.

Typos... galore. I hadn't found a fool proof way to... um... proof. I made shitloads of errors and got my ass chewed big time. Oh yeah. I got my ass screamed at like I was a fucking teenager hundreds of times. In those years, I felt like a total asshole, very depressed when it happened and all the times I thought... this is the time they fire my ass. Little did I know, errors are made by many factors, not just only my tired eyes. Oh well.

I had a blast. I met new people. I started going out, which my boyfriend at the time didn't like so much. I went to my first TV shoot and since I didn't know any better, I looked around for an hour or two then I went home. Yeah, I didn't stay until the end. I guess my boss was kind on me that day and knew that I was a total moron. He didn't even call me or anything. Jesus H. Christ.

We had a tight group. I learned about team work. About working my ass off. About working on Saturdays and Sundays. And as much as I hated coming to my apartment at 4am in the morning, I thought it had a meaning, a purpose. I thought I was going to change the world. I thought... one day I will be one of those creatives who everybody knows and everybody wants go get me to work for them. Can you believe that crap? Now all I want is to do my creative in peace and get home early so I can enjoy my true prize: having a quiet time at home or having drinks with my friends. Lord, how time changes you.

I also made some errors which I deeply regret (sort of). I focused way too much on my work and me and my boyfriend quit. An Art Director started hitting on me and bingo, cliché #1, I did more than proofing one day. Needless to say, he was an asshole who broke my heart and later I found that he was banging both the receptionist and myself. Talk about me shitting where I eat, big time. At the end of a huge screaming match by my end, I gave him his walking papers. 6 years later I bumped into him and he told me how sorry he was about everything he did. We're still friends, but I still call him an asshole everytime he calls. But now, I say it nicely.

I also learned how to design, how to use all the design programs. And the weird thing is? I did it because I wanted to but my boss didn't let me try to design. So every single day I sat down with any Art Director that would let me - and I watched them as they use the program, hit the command buttons... Later they let me work over the designs and even help out. Our deal was: I design the art, you tell the boss it was you. All I wanted was to learn, learn, learn and I didn't care that I didn't get the acknowledgement.

I made great friends with my first boss. He will always be a mix of a father figure with someone that unnerves the shit out of me on an equal amount. While I think he managed some things in a bad way - mainly thinking that all of us creatives were childs and were supposed to be treated like infants; I really think that he wanted us to be perfectionists at what we do, no matter what.

I was trained, in a year, to get to work early, take one hour of lunch. I was expected to produce a huge amount of jobs and not waste a single minute. Now everytime I see artists or copywriters complaining about 3 or 4 jobs in a day I smile. Rookies, I think.

Now, 16 years after, this post was written by a copywriter who designs her own stuff, lost the extra weight, got married and divorced, stripped away all traces of shyness, got her self esteem strong and powerful, built on her own business (successfully), does not have a child because she wasted too many years working (but is already working on solving that), met the most wonderful man in her life (which also was one of her Art Directors - yeah, the chick never learns)... and most of all: I learned that it's just an ad, we're not changing lives and that the real prize is that if you work hard, you'll enjoy a nice life with your friends and family - who should ALWAYS be first.

Damn. That last paragraph was very weird for me to write because I've never noticed how much I did change from that first year to now - most of all because of all the deep things I learned and changed about myself. I look back and I cannot believe that I was like that!

So... there you go. That was my first year. I honestly recommend you doing this to see how far you've gone - or you need to go. You can send yours to advertisingweek.com or post them here at our comments section. Let's see how back you can remember - if you haven't blocked it already.

Much love, Me.

PS: Click at the name of the post for advertisingweek's website or follow them on Twitter. Well, follow them after you make sure you follow us! @whyadssuck

WHOA! This is your Galaxy... on HD.

Spiral Galaxy Zoom [hd video]
Originally uploaded by NASA Goddard Photo and Video

Via NASA Goddard Space Flight Center's Flickr Stream.

Kinda NSFW but who cares: Some dude does the Shake Weight justice

Will this rock? The Paul trailer

Ignorance is bliss... or a total redneck.

Inside the Actor's Studio, Redux. Me Edition.

We all mature over time, we all change our way of thinking on many things. A couple of years ago I posted this questionnaire from one of my favorite shows, The Actors Studio on Bravo. I honestly think it should be revised, because as always, things change...

Let's see how.

01. What is your favorite word? Chillax.
I love getting to that place where I am calm and happy. The beauty of this is that it can happen anywhere in the world, be it at my apartment or somewhere cool and far far away.

02. What is your least favorite word? Disconnected.
I'm a tech junkie and I need to be wired. There's nothing that pisses me off than a router or modem not connected.

03. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Laughter. Oh... and Tequila.

04. What turns you off?
Smart asses.

05. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck Me. It is usually said really loud as well.

06. What sound or noise do you love?
The Beach.

07. What sound or noise do you hate?
Still, the Vacuum Cleaner. Fuck that machine.

08. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I'd like to be a CEO of a start up. Something cool that people love to use and gets me filthy rich in the process.

09. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything related to government.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
So! The atheist is here! How 'bout them apples?

Can't you be more specific? 5 vague replies to creative that drives "Me" crazy.

We've heard it all. I've seen clients say atrocities about creative work that would make you cringe from disgust. I mean... apart from "This is shit and I will wipe my ass off with it", I cannot fathom hearing anything worse. In fact, that will be my long lost favorite reply of all time because of two reasons: 1) it was given in a huge presentation in which ALL the creatives of an agency participated and did great work (the fact that this douche didn't get it is a whole different story) 2) they hadn't slept in at least 3-4 days and were exhausted, so that line brought what was left of them down...

Today I got one of those winner WTF replies that I've learned to handle over the years. And when I mean handle, I mean that I breathe in, breathe out. Mentally take a break from reality, picture myself somewhere cool and relax and try to break free from the frustration and anger. After I'm back to normal, then I try to guess what the fuck can I do now to get the art approved. Rinse, repeat.

But that doesn't mean that I would LOVE to tell one or two... or eleven to many of our clients - past, present and future. Because if there is one thing they can do to make the creative process more difficult is by giving instructions that have absolutely no thought process or logic. Let's do a "five things", shall we?

1) I'd like it more branded.
What do you mean, exactly? Do you want your logo as big as the art size will let me? Do I need to write the brand's name five hundred times all over the body copy? Wait. It's an ad made for your brand, telling people x message about your brand. It has a phone number, it has all the info it needs to have. The logo does not measure one fucking inch. In fact, it's kind of big because you nail me to the wall everytime I try to put it smaller and more elegant... Can you make any sense?

2) I'd like it more edgy.
Like Witty, edgy is kind of a blurry idea that is different from person to person. What is edgy in your book? A colorful ad with unusual typography? Strange sizes and media placements? A horse getting nailed by the butt with your logo? You pick what edgy means and give me a better brief.

3) It should be easily understood.
Really? Well dammit, there I was developing a new language! All this time wasted! I was writing a dissertation on your product and I was planning to cram it up into a full page ad! Shit, then I will try my best to get your five pages of needed information and make it into three easy words. Suck. My. Balls.

4) I don't like it.
Ooooh cool! It's ok, no problem. In fact, why don't you show the creative to your mom, your wife, your neighbors and most of all, people in your office that don't know squat about being on strategy and having a concept! Just apply YOUR personal preferences to all the ads that you want and you'll have a brand that people love. Why? Because you have one point: ALL people are just like you. They have YOUR tastes, your personality traits... everything. Sure.

5) And the winner is: I don't know.
Perfect! This is the most awesome response of all, you know why? Because I'm psychic! Yeah! Didn't you know that? Sure! By not giving me clear revisions and input, I will just channel all my power to try to decipher what in the world you mean by saying that! Cool! I can test my telepathy as well. No, don't give me a reasonable reason why you dislike the creative, even if - gasp - it is on strategy and you acknowledge it. You just don't know, and it's ok. Now let me put on my magic hat on and produce a new ad out of my ass.

This business sucks.

Thank You Top Chef: The Cookie Monster Episode RULED!

Last night I sat down after work to watch one of the programs that I haven't missed since it started: Top Chef. Last night's episode was, in a word that starts with A: Awesome!

If you missed it, the contestants of Top Chef All Stars (best idea yet since Masters) had to make a cookie that would impress the Cookie Monster, Elmo and Telly from - and if you don't know this, by all means go jump of a bridge - Sesame Street.

I went bonkers. I love Sesame Street, I still believe that this program taught me everything I need to know about life, words, places and numbers. Fuck college, real learning is done in the Street, period.

I don't care how old you are and how douche you can get in real life, trust me that when you look at any character from either Sesame Street you lose it completely. You start to turn to a kid again. Last night I was smiling all the way to the very end of the Quickfire challenge... and all because Cookie Monster wanted his fix. Epic.

Catch it next week an hour before the new episode!

This post was brought to you by the letter M.

Image via Sweakin' Freet

My argument for social media, taped: Virgin Mobile "Crazy" TV spot

And the weird thing is: I can bet there are HUNDREDS of crazy chicks who actually do this!

When hiding your penis, remember to wear socks.

Via @erolucila. Brilliant!

My hope for human kind has been restored: Spalding vs Bieber

I am currently listening to Esperanza Spalding. Great music, great vibe. Would have never done it if life had gone the usual way and Justin Bieber had won the Grammy for Best Artist. Now, I know the last line will get me death threats all around the globe, but I don't care. What people are calling one of the greatest upsets in Grammy history is becoming a reason to celebrate for me - and many others as well.

You see, somewhere in the voting system, people didn't believe the hype and actually made the right move.

While I can give in to the fact that the kid sings - at least - I cannot truly get with the program that this kid deserves an actual prize. Sorry. Can't do it. If he deserves one, then all the kids who have You Tube and can whip up a tune and not mess the notes up should get them as well.

Baby, baby, baby... No.

As I sat there watching another "We like you so we're going to give you a statue" program, I was ready to see this young kid get the famous gilded gramophone... and then, bingo. Justice prevails. All the hoopla, crazy chicks and tabloid mess could not get the kid up there. Bravo.

Here's to the Grammys for making a good call.

Now let's wait until the Oscars to see how many bad calls they make.

Whoa! Kinetic Type Animation has gone a long way!

How to complicate a TV shoot, by Ikea.

Oh Photoshop, how ashamed am I of using you.

Best Sports Tv Spot I've seen in a while! Nike Evolution

Funny, But No: Rejected Valentines

Dude, you need help: Me's answers to a great Valentines Day.

This will be a total public service on my part. Why? 'Cause I've seen men fuck up so badly at Valentines Day, I decided to help a brother out and give you the basic rules to a perfect "you got laid' day. Yes, I'm going to rat out all the chicks so you get your penis handled today in perfect fashion! How many bloggers are willing to get you some hot lovin' today?

Ok, so here we go. If you have a woman who you a) love dearly, b) like a lot c) sort of dig or d) use for sex (it happens), then you might need this list of ideas so you seal the deal today. You don't have to do ALL the things I recommend here, but as much as you can will do the trick. Ready? Set? Valentines!

1) Take her out to dinner at a place where people don't sing the birthday song in chorus and really loud.
Yep, that means a quiet and romantic place, where you will probably need to wear a decent pant and shirt. It might mean a little more $$, but trust me, she will feel special because she knows how hard it is to take her there. Hey, you don't need to go to a Michelin restaurant. Just somewhere where crayons are not placed on your table and where some loud family is right next to her.

2) Flowers. Send flowers.
I don't care if it's any kind. Trust me, ALL women say at one point that they don't care about getting flowers. BULLSHIT. They want their flowers, they want the people around knowing they got flowers. Get in that car and get her a bunch of whatever. You don't need to write a card. Just write your name with a random: With love, Dude. You're set.

3) Chocolates? Small box will do the trick.
Diets, diets. Just remember, all women are on a diet. But if you want to send the almighty choco-hit, do it on a small box and mix it with some sort of plush toy. Yes, she will eventually hit the box and eat it. Just make it easy for her and don't do a huge box. Calories calories...

4) Dinner and a movie is also good.
Yes, at this point of the year you will need to succumb to an awful chick flick. I recommend you taking a shot of something before. Actually, if you it then you get to go to the movies with a little wine inside you... and maybe you will enjoy the flick! Nothing sad, please. Women tend to be sentimental the whole day.

5) Picnic at beach/park/romantic place of your choice!
This will be hard because you need to plan ahead, but you can totally do it. Just grab as much cheese, crackers and ham as you can at the local supermarket. Then buy yourself at least two bottles of a decent red wine and bingo. No, you don't need to make an actual dinner to go have a picnic. Anything that can come in decent temperature and that won't kill you will work fine. Just remember a blanket! Grass or dirt is not cool!

6) You really don't need to get an expensive gift.
If you do, you're dating an asshole. Jewels, expensive bags and the other shit is not mandatory on a day like this. In fact, something cute and funny will do the trick, most of all if you combine it with any of the previous ideas. If you just come with a box and then sit down and watch tv, then you better get prepared to get a nasty look.

7) Make dinner.
Maybe you can pitch in! Disconnect all tv plugs, all internet modems. Put on some music, open up the fridge and cook. Talk. Do anything but the normal shit you do when you get home.

8) Don't talk about work/family/anything that is not fun!
You can discuss how much you hate your in-laws tomorrow. Focus on happy thoughts.

9) Don't think that she doesn't care about Valentines and that she'd rather stay home.
While she might have said this at one point, mark my words, she's totally bullshitting you. She wants you to come up with something. Anything. Even if it's getting a bubble bath together (oh yes, deal with it). She wants you to do some kind of effort. Period. Just go with it.

10) Valentines Day applies to the single women you care about as well. Call them up, dude.
Just because they are single doesn't mean they have the plague. These women are also celebrating and they deserve at least a call, a tweet, a message, an email... something. It's called the friendship day also... get with the program and start calling people up.

Simple, but some reason you men out there forget how easy it is. Just remember to get home early so there is no "I'm tired" excuse. Be nice, be yourself, try to be romantic and most of all... smile.

Happy Get laid day, people. Much love, Me.

Our warmest wishes this Valentines Day!

Between Two Ferns: Sean Penn

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Sean Penn from Between Two Ferns

You gotta be kidding me: The UroClub Tv spot

Is this shit real?

iWater?

Borrowed from scoopertino.com

Darth Kid, Part 2. Still awesome.

Sign of the times

"Name Something You Pass Around" - Watch more Funny Videos

Some people have way too much time on their hands.

Via Machete Squad's stream at Flickr. Click at the name of the post for cool street art.

Old Spice Guy gives his tv spot to a teenager. Way cool.

Reply All?

Funny thing is, I actually know an Account Executive who did this when he sort of mailed porn to a client. Client never got the porn, the email never was delivered by miracle. Most epic.

Super 8 Trailer. Thank you Jesus.

Product Placement Rocks!

Best SuperBowl ad. Period.

NFL Loves you.

Edit yourself. Please.

Loved the commercial up to the sucking part. Second scene with pants was not needed.

Lukah vs Dexter. Let's Get it on!

I wanna name a street too!!!

The Soundtrack of Me's Life: 5 Songs up to the age of 10.

Last night my boyfriend and I were lounging around watching Up in the Air for the umpteenth time (I don't know why we are so fascinated with that movie, every time it's on HBO we watch it completely) and suddenly we start talking about how great the soundtrack is... and it turned at how each and every person has sort of a soundtrack of their lives.

Bingo, an idea for a post. Let's try to see if I can honestly remember at least 5 songs, five little songs that take me back to being a certain age. I won't cheat, I won't Google any song list from those years. This has to be by memory. Little by little I will try to see how much can I come up with.

Join in the fun, will you?

Here is my five songs that I can remember when I was a kid.

Fuck off if you think I'm old because of the songs. I don't look my age, at all. Hehehe... Let's begin.

Up until the age of ten years old, my songlist would be:

1) Silly Love Songs - Paul McCartney
I just remember watching my mom on her Windsurf on a beautiful day, she was single... sometimes I miss us being that way. She used to play the radio really loud at the beach... And yell from the ocean that I come and hang on to it as she would sail away...

2) September - Earth Wind and Fire
I used to ask for that song almost every time she drove me to school. I also remember when she dressed up to go dancing and all I thought was... damn when I grow up I want to be like her. I also remember her 23rd birthday and the huge candles I placed on her cake...

3) Wasted on the Way - Crosby, Stills & Nash
We had a sailboat (little). I can remember it playing somewhere inside while I splashed around in the ocean. Weekends were awesome. This song takes me back to being relax, doing nothing and being happy.

4) Woman - John Lennon
I can remember the day he died, still. I was raised on The Beatles and Lennon. The LP's always were on "play" at my house. Music was a very important deal, and the Beatles were sacred. I will do the same with my kid.

5) More than a Woman - Bee Gees
My house was all about fun. Mom and I would twirl and dance on the weekends, playing the music full blast, laughing... Every time she played this song she would grab me by the hands and we'd go crazy dancing all over her little apartment.

This was a great experiment! Now I'm kind of melancholic but in a cool way. I miss being that young and little, I miss spending that amount of time with my mom but I know that I did have that time and that I enjoyed every little second of it. If you are wondering why I don't remember anything else... I blocked a lot because of my dad leaving. My center and my strength was a little woman that decided to keep me and not move on.

The most important things are the ones that you remember forever, I guess.

Um. Ok so I laughed. Sue me.

The Curious Case about the ad person who forgot his/her kid's birthday.

This came via email today and I found it to deeply amazing that I just needed to share it. To protect the innocent bystanders I will do my best to tell the truth while not revealing too much about where it came from - although I have no idea where in the world the agency is, anways...

So here's the thing. When you have been at this business way too long, you get to see certain things. You see the best of people, you see the worst. You see people acting in weird ways. You see teams give backstabs like there is no tomorrow.

In fact, you just look at the mirror and maybe you will find a jaded, tired, exhausted creative. Maybe a very angry and bitter Account Executive. A Creative Director that knows, deep inside him or her, that the time has passed and now the key to survival is to hang on to that job... or else. My point is that we've all been that dirty road, we know how bad agency life can be, we know the painful reality that students starting out have absolutely no idea of.

Ok wait a minute. Are you a student? Are you still at college looking to crack the "ad world"?

Stop reading. This post is kind of sad.

Come back tomorrow. I promise to post some stupid and cute dog video so you can laugh. Promise. Go to bed. Night, night.

Ok so where were we? Yeah. Bad stuff. So this letter came in. Short. To the point. Like I like my copy. But at the end I yelled "Holy Shit"!

I've heard and read stories in my time, but I've never read this one before. Here it goes:

Ad person from unknown agency quits because too much work caused X person to forget kid's birthday. BY DAYS. Kid ended up telling parent about having forgotten such important date. Person quit because that would not be tolerated.

Again. Say it with me. Holy Shit.

Listen, I don't like posting your stories (oh, when they do come in about TWO times in a year!), but this has to give the rest of us some sort of perspective. What, pray tell can it be? That we've been writing about this, for years now. Advertising can make you miss out on life. But it's YOUR choice to let it do that to you.

Recently I started remembering about the movie Lemonade and about how important it is to sometimes have something so disturbing happen to you - like losing your job - in order to realize that sometimes this job takes toll on us, takes more that we should give it. It tears at our family, our friends, our personal time... and then it does the worst, it kills the dream of doing something more.

I cannot fathom why this person forgot the kid's birthday but I can understand how sometimes making a stupid full page ad can make your time and your mind disappear. I hate myself every time my mother calls me and I cannot talk to her for five seconds because I have to figure out a radio spot that doesn't click and I need it to be done in less than 20 minutes. I've missed important things from my family and from my friends, because either I was at work or dead tired after working that I could not imagine going. That kills me.

But the dangerous thing is that it happened to that person. Hey, it can happen to you. Not sure? Ha. I'll make this bet with you. I can bet money that at some point during your adult life, you have had almost no time to go Christmas shopping because you had way too much campaigns to deliver before the holidays. If you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you've had to scramble to celebrate your anniversary or your loved one's birthday with a stupid little gift or a last minute dinner reservation because you forgot... Yep, advertising does that to you.

The thing that bugs me is that it's mainly our fault. We don't learn to control our clients and rather cater to every wish and need they want, no matter the hour. We don't learn to manage our time and think that we can do 15 jobs a day. We don't tell our Creative Directors that we feel that we worked enough, sorry but we are not productive anymore, maybe tomorrow we'll get that witty line that you're looking for.

What does it take to finally figure out that our LIFE is more important than a print campaign? That our kids are worth our time, much more than that 6:00 pm conference call that cannot be moved? When will be stand up for our quality of life? When will you realize that it's just a job, nothing more, nothing else?

When?

Anderson Cooper, Marry me.

Damn, this is one great tv ad: My Son