Apr 7, 2011
Apr 6, 2011
A toast to the Brave People who quit with no other job: A sort of true story.
There are some questions we seldom ask ourselves because we don't think we need to. I for one think that it's maybe because we never picture being at particular moments in life when, well... a tough moment comes along. We always think we'll be ok, so when bad things happen we usually feel lost. At first, anyways.
In my ad life, I've hated - and I mean TRULY hated some places I've worked at. There is one agency that I refuse to drive even near to because it just makes me anxious. At another agency, I developed a sort of anxiety attack so bad, it has never truly left and when I'm really stressed out, it manifests to this day. Another agency made me cry myself to sleep everytime I came home from work for five months straight. You see kiddies, there is no crying in baseball but there is a shitload of weeping and going all out bonkers crying in advertising.
But in all those miserable years, I never could muster the guts to quit my job without a backup plan. I claim to have balls... but not that kind. Those balls are more than golden. More than anything. People who actually quit their jobs without having anything to back them up are the soldiers of true valor. I have always have had much respect for those people, because they quit on moral grounds. They are willing to leave all behind on the premise that they are unhappy and that they do not deserve to feel that way.
I have a theory that I could have never done that because I come from poverty. I already know how it feels to have nothing and work your way up to at least a decent living. I saw my Mom and myself have nothing to eat. I remember candles, I remember welfare. I remember getting hand-me-downs. I remember my mother crying, not knowing what would happen next. Those types of memories impress you so hard, you grow up different. You grow up knowing that no matter what, you have to work for a living, you have to give it your all just so that you don't suffer like that, ever again. It becomes a thing that you don't want to go back to. So then, not working, the uncertainty of life... well, it's not your cup of tea. So in all my life, I just grinned and held on, bleeding and crying all the way to a better job (if that is even possible). I never played with fire and I always thought that making that "no-backup-I-quit" is a gamble that is a complete mistake.
I thought so... until today.
Now, I am torn between applauding true grit... and worrying myself to death. You see, my best friend is thinking about quitting her job and starting all over - just because she truly, and I mean TRULY hates every single second of her work. She doesn't even hate it mildly, like we all do our jobs. She hates it with sheer passion, she cannot handle even one day more.
I don't know what to think. You see, it's kind of different when you think of people who you don't know doing this valiant thing... and then there are people that you truly care about, that you truly love and would give an arm or a leg for them in a split second. She is the sister that my Mom never had, the friend that people wish for and never get.
What is the right choice? Should you leave and find a decent and happier life without knowing what will happen next? Or should you hang in there, gird your loins and hunt your way out of hell? Jesus. What a difficult choice. Because there is getting fired - it was not your choice. But this is one decision that is like a leap of faith like no other in the whole world... you are choosing to risk it all, to maybe experience what could be the worst of life's moments... just so that you respect yourself and feel truly happy.
I honestly don't know what to tell my dearest friend of all time. I for one think that she deserves to be happy and that this current job is truly hell. I've heard her reasons, and they are rock solid. This is not caused by frustration alone, or boredom. This comes from an abusive work environment. The worst of its kind. So it makes perfect sense. If your husband (or wife) beats you to death, you pack up and leave. You don't wait around to see if you meet a better person, right?
But on the other hand, I worry that she is not thinking clearly, and that she might end up in a rot that is too deep for me to get her out of. She does have responsibilities, she does need to pay her bills. But in the other hand, seeing her so miserable, so stressed out, so truly sad breaks my heart on a daily basis.
What to do... what to say.
All I said to her today while we were talking about her choices - which, by the way, are very complex because of other reasons besides her alone - is that she needs to be where she feels better. If she feels there is no other possible way and that she truly cannot even just do it mechanically, then she should quit. If this job puts her health and mind in jeopardy, then there is no other choice but to leave.
I still am at loss of words, and for sure I will not sleep for quite a while, worried for one of the greatest friends that life gave me. But this problem, I cannot solve. I cannot tell what to do, I cannot even give an opinion. 'Cause I never had those balls. Maybe I'm too methodical, too organized... or too chicken shit to do that.
A toast to ballsy people, all over the world. My hat off to you. And to my friend... you don't need to worry. Get in there and jump.
No matter what, I'll catch you. Somehow.
In my ad life, I've hated - and I mean TRULY hated some places I've worked at. There is one agency that I refuse to drive even near to because it just makes me anxious. At another agency, I developed a sort of anxiety attack so bad, it has never truly left and when I'm really stressed out, it manifests to this day. Another agency made me cry myself to sleep everytime I came home from work for five months straight. You see kiddies, there is no crying in baseball but there is a shitload of weeping and going all out bonkers crying in advertising.
But in all those miserable years, I never could muster the guts to quit my job without a backup plan. I claim to have balls... but not that kind. Those balls are more than golden. More than anything. People who actually quit their jobs without having anything to back them up are the soldiers of true valor. I have always have had much respect for those people, because they quit on moral grounds. They are willing to leave all behind on the premise that they are unhappy and that they do not deserve to feel that way.
I have a theory that I could have never done that because I come from poverty. I already know how it feels to have nothing and work your way up to at least a decent living. I saw my Mom and myself have nothing to eat. I remember candles, I remember welfare. I remember getting hand-me-downs. I remember my mother crying, not knowing what would happen next. Those types of memories impress you so hard, you grow up different. You grow up knowing that no matter what, you have to work for a living, you have to give it your all just so that you don't suffer like that, ever again. It becomes a thing that you don't want to go back to. So then, not working, the uncertainty of life... well, it's not your cup of tea. So in all my life, I just grinned and held on, bleeding and crying all the way to a better job (if that is even possible). I never played with fire and I always thought that making that "no-backup-I-quit" is a gamble that is a complete mistake.
I thought so... until today.
Now, I am torn between applauding true grit... and worrying myself to death. You see, my best friend is thinking about quitting her job and starting all over - just because she truly, and I mean TRULY hates every single second of her work. She doesn't even hate it mildly, like we all do our jobs. She hates it with sheer passion, she cannot handle even one day more.
I don't know what to think. You see, it's kind of different when you think of people who you don't know doing this valiant thing... and then there are people that you truly care about, that you truly love and would give an arm or a leg for them in a split second. She is the sister that my Mom never had, the friend that people wish for and never get.
What is the right choice? Should you leave and find a decent and happier life without knowing what will happen next? Or should you hang in there, gird your loins and hunt your way out of hell? Jesus. What a difficult choice. Because there is getting fired - it was not your choice. But this is one decision that is like a leap of faith like no other in the whole world... you are choosing to risk it all, to maybe experience what could be the worst of life's moments... just so that you respect yourself and feel truly happy.
I honestly don't know what to tell my dearest friend of all time. I for one think that she deserves to be happy and that this current job is truly hell. I've heard her reasons, and they are rock solid. This is not caused by frustration alone, or boredom. This comes from an abusive work environment. The worst of its kind. So it makes perfect sense. If your husband (or wife) beats you to death, you pack up and leave. You don't wait around to see if you meet a better person, right?
But on the other hand, I worry that she is not thinking clearly, and that she might end up in a rot that is too deep for me to get her out of. She does have responsibilities, she does need to pay her bills. But in the other hand, seeing her so miserable, so stressed out, so truly sad breaks my heart on a daily basis.
What to do... what to say.
All I said to her today while we were talking about her choices - which, by the way, are very complex because of other reasons besides her alone - is that she needs to be where she feels better. If she feels there is no other possible way and that she truly cannot even just do it mechanically, then she should quit. If this job puts her health and mind in jeopardy, then there is no other choice but to leave.
I still am at loss of words, and for sure I will not sleep for quite a while, worried for one of the greatest friends that life gave me. But this problem, I cannot solve. I cannot tell what to do, I cannot even give an opinion. 'Cause I never had those balls. Maybe I'm too methodical, too organized... or too chicken shit to do that.
A toast to ballsy people, all over the world. My hat off to you. And to my friend... you don't need to worry. Get in there and jump.
No matter what, I'll catch you. Somehow.
Apr 5, 2011
What's your iDeal
When you think of what is ideal, what do you come up with? It’s a hell of a question to ask, but it’s also sad to see that so many people fail to even attempt at answering it. Since so many people are so fond of to-do lists, why don’t you write a to-do list of what you need to do in a given set of time to have a good day?
Think about it, the American Dream used to be that whole bullshit about the white picket fence, the 2.3 kids and the comfortable mortgage. The thing is that times change and in this day and age, the answer cannot be the same. Think monetarily, think in tangible and acquisitive terms, dare to answer what you would do in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or a year. Jot down what you would consider a successful career and try and achieve the to-do list. Just the fact that you can get some things done just from focusing and putting them on a list should be incentive enough. Consider this a call to arms in terms of defining your ideal life or what you picture what your ideal life is.
Here are some of my ideals in bullet form:
My ideal day
• Wake up feeling refreshed
• Surf
• Write
• Spend time with my wife
• Read
• Talk to friends or correspond with them
• See my mom
• Play guitar
• Help people and do something meaningful with my life
• Make people smile
• Be productive on a personal and professional level
My ideal week
• Finish something I’m writing
• Surf on a regular basis
• Learn new information and share it with someone
• Finish a project (Personal or professional)
• Feel as if I’ve been able to connect with the most important people in my life
• Feeling consistent in what I think are my main goals in life
My ideal month
• Get a couple of freelance gigs to have some extra cash to treat myself and the missus to a better life
• Write a song
• Learn a new skill
• Surf on a consistent basis
• Have all my payments up to speed
• Finish writing a couple of things
• Being in touch with all my loved ones, having had dinner with them
• Exercise regularly
• Make a difference wherever I’m working at
• Help at least a dozen people
My ideal year
• Go to regular doc checkups
• Eat pretty well but occasionally indulge in culinary vices
• Travel someplace old and two new places
• Feel as if I’m surfing like I was 20
• Write a book, script, or series of short stories
• Learn a lot of new skills.
• Be in touch with everyone and go to most of the events I’ve been invited to
These were truly off the top of my head and though I could really give this some thought, I thought better of it. Now that you’ve answered each, allow yourself to remember your list of ideal characteristics in a man or woman. It’s possible you may be going out with someone who fulfills each and every criteria in that list… but it’s probably more that you’re going out with someone whom you just clicked with and who went beyond your supposed ideals and showed you what you wanted without even knowing it. It’s not that you were wrong in the first place, it’s just that after you’ve put some effort into defining your ideal, you quit stressing about it and let things flow. Call me crazy, but maybe this same principle can apply to jobs and lives and not just to the people we end up in a relationship with.
Maybe we need to define the ideal so that we may allow ourselves to find the true ideal in every aspect of our lives. Or Maybe I just wanted to write something positive for a change.
Cheers
Think about it, the American Dream used to be that whole bullshit about the white picket fence, the 2.3 kids and the comfortable mortgage. The thing is that times change and in this day and age, the answer cannot be the same. Think monetarily, think in tangible and acquisitive terms, dare to answer what you would do in an hour, a day, a week, a month, or a year. Jot down what you would consider a successful career and try and achieve the to-do list. Just the fact that you can get some things done just from focusing and putting them on a list should be incentive enough. Consider this a call to arms in terms of defining your ideal life or what you picture what your ideal life is.
Here are some of my ideals in bullet form:
My ideal day
• Wake up feeling refreshed
• Surf
• Write
• Spend time with my wife
• Read
• Talk to friends or correspond with them
• See my mom
• Play guitar
• Help people and do something meaningful with my life
• Make people smile
• Be productive on a personal and professional level
My ideal week
• Finish something I’m writing
• Surf on a regular basis
• Learn new information and share it with someone
• Finish a project (Personal or professional)
• Feel as if I’ve been able to connect with the most important people in my life
• Feeling consistent in what I think are my main goals in life
My ideal month
• Get a couple of freelance gigs to have some extra cash to treat myself and the missus to a better life
• Write a song
• Learn a new skill
• Surf on a consistent basis
• Have all my payments up to speed
• Finish writing a couple of things
• Being in touch with all my loved ones, having had dinner with them
• Exercise regularly
• Make a difference wherever I’m working at
• Help at least a dozen people
My ideal year
• Go to regular doc checkups
• Eat pretty well but occasionally indulge in culinary vices
• Travel someplace old and two new places
• Feel as if I’m surfing like I was 20
• Write a book, script, or series of short stories
• Learn a lot of new skills.
• Be in touch with everyone and go to most of the events I’ve been invited to
These were truly off the top of my head and though I could really give this some thought, I thought better of it. Now that you’ve answered each, allow yourself to remember your list of ideal characteristics in a man or woman. It’s possible you may be going out with someone who fulfills each and every criteria in that list… but it’s probably more that you’re going out with someone whom you just clicked with and who went beyond your supposed ideals and showed you what you wanted without even knowing it. It’s not that you were wrong in the first place, it’s just that after you’ve put some effort into defining your ideal, you quit stressing about it and let things flow. Call me crazy, but maybe this same principle can apply to jobs and lives and not just to the people we end up in a relationship with.
Maybe we need to define the ideal so that we may allow ourselves to find the true ideal in every aspect of our lives. Or Maybe I just wanted to write something positive for a change.
Cheers
Apr 4, 2011
New Epidemic: MDD – Motivation Deficit Disorder
We’ve seen AH1N1, avian flu and SARS, but I don’t need to verify the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to know there’s another much more subtle epidemic running amok throughout the globe. It’s called apathy and not giving a shit.
The reality is that there is only a set amount of times that people can listen to the broken record about how we have to be thankful for the job we have, and so on and so forth. It’s corporate rhetoric that looks to promote complacency through humility, fear and various other mechanisms. It’s also a tactic and technique that is clearly losing its effect since even in an economic crisis, there’s a lovely percentage regarding turnover. Whereas you’d suppose everyone would shut up and put with their job, people are slowly but surely getting sick of just tolerating a work environment.
My name is Joker and I have MDD. I feel better about recognizing it. It’s a step in the right direction, one that ideally leads out the door into another company or into a future where I am my own boss for a change. It’s a scary road, but I’m confident that I can turn a negative into a positive, and so should you.
Ask yourself, truly, why do you work where you work? Do you feel you have to? Is it because there are no more opportunities for you? Do you feel stuck between a rock and a lame place? If your main motivation to stay at your work includes reasons such as money to pay the bills and job stability, let me be another in the long line of people who should tell you that you are kidding yourself.
In advertising terms, it’s funny to see how creative people swear they’re so creative in regards to fashion, campaigns and lifestyles, but are as lame and one dimensional regarding their skillset as a data entry person. We proclaim ourselves thinkers outside the box and pretty much every time you see creatives changing to shiny boxes, prettier boxes, less boxy boxes but still staying within the box of their chosen profession.
We live in times where true universal thinking is a thing of the past. People specialize, and specialize within the specialty. We become genre, recreational and professionally specific and we forget that beyond those reflective windows there’s a damn world you could live in if you didn’t have this particular 9 to 5. There’s also something more to you than a clever t-shirt, trendy glasses and a faux hawk. You don’t have to be a special snowflake, you can be anything you want to be and the fact that you’re not happy should be an indicator that you’re not at the right place. But alas, everything from self esteem to fear to what’s on your résumé seems to be a crutch many of us depend on and I just need to see the people around me to truly recognize that with some discipline, I can be whatever the hell I want… and so can all of us.
So why do we settle? Because though MDD is a madeup epidemic, the reality is that pretty much 95% of everyone you know could be diagnosed with it, including yourself. So from your resident Joker doctor, don’t take two in the morning… quit taking your complacency meds. Quit having a beer to calm down at the end of the day, drop your latté to get past the morning, and stop treating yourself to DVDs, books and shoes to reward yourself for a job well tolerated.
Don’t fight the power, don’t fight the man and most importantly, stop fighting that voice inside you that wants out. Speak your mind and soul, take a paper, write what you want to do and stop kidding yourself or postponing. Don’t bank on reincarnation, don’t think you’ll get a mulligan, make your own fate, commit mistakes and live.
It’s not that hard, you just have to stop telling yourself it can’t be done.
Cheers,
The reality is that there is only a set amount of times that people can listen to the broken record about how we have to be thankful for the job we have, and so on and so forth. It’s corporate rhetoric that looks to promote complacency through humility, fear and various other mechanisms. It’s also a tactic and technique that is clearly losing its effect since even in an economic crisis, there’s a lovely percentage regarding turnover. Whereas you’d suppose everyone would shut up and put with their job, people are slowly but surely getting sick of just tolerating a work environment.
My name is Joker and I have MDD. I feel better about recognizing it. It’s a step in the right direction, one that ideally leads out the door into another company or into a future where I am my own boss for a change. It’s a scary road, but I’m confident that I can turn a negative into a positive, and so should you.
Ask yourself, truly, why do you work where you work? Do you feel you have to? Is it because there are no more opportunities for you? Do you feel stuck between a rock and a lame place? If your main motivation to stay at your work includes reasons such as money to pay the bills and job stability, let me be another in the long line of people who should tell you that you are kidding yourself.
In advertising terms, it’s funny to see how creative people swear they’re so creative in regards to fashion, campaigns and lifestyles, but are as lame and one dimensional regarding their skillset as a data entry person. We proclaim ourselves thinkers outside the box and pretty much every time you see creatives changing to shiny boxes, prettier boxes, less boxy boxes but still staying within the box of their chosen profession.
We live in times where true universal thinking is a thing of the past. People specialize, and specialize within the specialty. We become genre, recreational and professionally specific and we forget that beyond those reflective windows there’s a damn world you could live in if you didn’t have this particular 9 to 5. There’s also something more to you than a clever t-shirt, trendy glasses and a faux hawk. You don’t have to be a special snowflake, you can be anything you want to be and the fact that you’re not happy should be an indicator that you’re not at the right place. But alas, everything from self esteem to fear to what’s on your résumé seems to be a crutch many of us depend on and I just need to see the people around me to truly recognize that with some discipline, I can be whatever the hell I want… and so can all of us.
So why do we settle? Because though MDD is a madeup epidemic, the reality is that pretty much 95% of everyone you know could be diagnosed with it, including yourself. So from your resident Joker doctor, don’t take two in the morning… quit taking your complacency meds. Quit having a beer to calm down at the end of the day, drop your latté to get past the morning, and stop treating yourself to DVDs, books and shoes to reward yourself for a job well tolerated.
Don’t fight the power, don’t fight the man and most importantly, stop fighting that voice inside you that wants out. Speak your mind and soul, take a paper, write what you want to do and stop kidding yourself or postponing. Don’t bank on reincarnation, don’t think you’ll get a mulligan, make your own fate, commit mistakes and live.
It’s not that hard, you just have to stop telling yourself it can’t be done.
Cheers,
Netflix Queue alert: LOW. Help!
It's that time of the year, kiddies.
My Netflix queue list is dying.
I need help.
Please recommend any movies you think I will love.
Documentaries are more than welcome.
You should avoid movies with Ashton Kutcher or Matthew McConaughey.
I also will ignore Chick flicks.
Blood, zombies and gore is more than ok.
No vampires. I will hunt you down if you write Twilight in any way shape or form.
Help!
My Netflix queue list is dying.
I need help.
Please recommend any movies you think I will love.
Documentaries are more than welcome.
You should avoid movies with Ashton Kutcher or Matthew McConaughey.
I also will ignore Chick flicks.
Blood, zombies and gore is more than ok.
No vampires. I will hunt you down if you write Twilight in any way shape or form.
Help!
Apr 3, 2011
Top 10 Men I'd love to take home to Mom.
I have to say that I've never taken ALL the men I've dated to Mom... and thank God for that. There are dudes out there that serve one purpose and well, it's not Meeting Mom worthy. But since Joker took on his list and people asked me about my men, I will try - I repeat, TRY - to attempt at least 10 men I'd actually think about bringing home to meet the family. My choices are based on whatever. Maybe handsome, maybe funny... who knows. These are the men that are king of my domain.
1) George Clooney
This is a man I would take home to mom in a second. Intelligent, socially conscious, can actually survive malaria, handsome, has a great voice, has an amazing smile. And the fact that he doesn't want to get married is the kicker. Ah. Just perfect.
2) Bruce Willis
All I can say is... he saw me in person, he actually looked at me and waved, he knows I love him and this is totally true. My life is perfect now because of that fact. Still wearing my watch on my right hand, Bruce. I heart you.
3) Bradley Cooper
I just watched him on The Hangover and I lost it. He's such a cool cat! This dude seems like the man I would totally have fun hanging out at a bar and could surprise me with some cliché romantic date that I would not mind going along with.
4) Brad Pitt
Perfection after Clooney. That's all I'm saying.
5) Cary Grant
We didn't have the alive or dead rule, did we? Mr Grant was the original George Clooney and boy, I cannot change the channel everytime I see him. The voice, the elegance. This is what a man should be.
6) Marlon Brando
Another Not alive but still on my list dude. This is the only man in my list that I consider beautiful. Besides, I would have had the honor of telling Mom: "He's the guy in Godfather!"
7) Quentin Tarantino
This man has a direct line to my heart. He makes everything perfect. My favorite movies of all time are his. This would mean the world for me to date him... but just for a while. I have this weird feeling that he would freak me out over time.
8) Nev Schulman
Sitting alone in the Angelika NYC theater watching Catfish, I realized that I had fallen in love with this amazingly charming and handsome man. One talented photographer, a great documentary... and one unforgettable smile. Catfish is great because he is compelling to watch. You start to care about him instantly and you worry about him every step of the way. I hope to see more of him soon.
9) Nate Berkus
Ah... the one that got away. Everytime I see Nate on Oprah I cannot help myself but smile. Nate has the charming dial up to eleven. The man that he's dating is very, very lucky.
10) Robert Redford
The original Brad Pitt, this man IS SEXY AS HELL! I mean... look at him! Oh and to boot, he from a very young age started producing his own films, started Sundance... this man knows how to do stuff perfectly. Let me put it this way: if the he had made an Indecent Proposal to me, I would have GLADLY screwed him FOR FREE. And I would have stuck with him at the end, forgetting everything. No questions asked.
1) George Clooney
This is a man I would take home to mom in a second. Intelligent, socially conscious, can actually survive malaria, handsome, has a great voice, has an amazing smile. And the fact that he doesn't want to get married is the kicker. Ah. Just perfect.
All I can say is... he saw me in person, he actually looked at me and waved, he knows I love him and this is totally true. My life is perfect now because of that fact. Still wearing my watch on my right hand, Bruce. I heart you.
I just watched him on The Hangover and I lost it. He's such a cool cat! This dude seems like the man I would totally have fun hanging out at a bar and could surprise me with some cliché romantic date that I would not mind going along with.
4) Brad Pitt
Perfection after Clooney. That's all I'm saying.
5) Cary Grant
We didn't have the alive or dead rule, did we? Mr Grant was the original George Clooney and boy, I cannot change the channel everytime I see him. The voice, the elegance. This is what a man should be.
6) Marlon Brando
Another Not alive but still on my list dude. This is the only man in my list that I consider beautiful. Besides, I would have had the honor of telling Mom: "He's the guy in Godfather!"
7) Quentin Tarantino
This man has a direct line to my heart. He makes everything perfect. My favorite movies of all time are his. This would mean the world for me to date him... but just for a while. I have this weird feeling that he would freak me out over time.
8) Nev Schulman
Sitting alone in the Angelika NYC theater watching Catfish, I realized that I had fallen in love with this amazingly charming and handsome man. One talented photographer, a great documentary... and one unforgettable smile. Catfish is great because he is compelling to watch. You start to care about him instantly and you worry about him every step of the way. I hope to see more of him soon.
9) Nate Berkus
Ah... the one that got away. Everytime I see Nate on Oprah I cannot help myself but smile. Nate has the charming dial up to eleven. The man that he's dating is very, very lucky.
10) Robert Redford
The original Brad Pitt, this man IS SEXY AS HELL! I mean... look at him! Oh and to boot, he from a very young age started producing his own films, started Sundance... this man knows how to do stuff perfectly. Let me put it this way: if the he had made an Indecent Proposal to me, I would have GLADLY screwed him FOR FREE. And I would have stuck with him at the end, forgetting everything. No questions asked.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
