5 Muppets that define: Me

You can ask yourself deep questions. You can try to figure the meaning of life, where are you headed, what are your long term goals. You can ask yourself what is your mission, what are you supposed to do in this earth. Ask away. I am sure that this question is the one that will make you think long and hard: which are your favorite muppets of all time? YES! YES! These are the questions that should keep you up at night! I mean, how can you possibly choose, right? Well, after a lot of thought, I think I got my list down. Here it is, enjoy.

1) Kermit The Frog
Come on, there is no other way that Kermit not be in the number one spot. It's his place in life. Kermit will always be the man, the green man, no matter what. He's kind, neurotic, has really bad taste in women. My kind of guy. He would be a great creative director! Picture him going bonkers on you for not delivering your 10 jobs! Right? Awesome meltdown.

2) The Count (AKA: Count von Count)
Ah, that accent. That extreme need to count everything. That laugh! Ah. Ah. Ah. That purple amazing suit. That elegant house... I can go on and on. The Count is one dandy cool as shit guy that YOU KNOW is down for having a great time when he's done counting. In my dreams, we go out to drink, he orders a bottle of whiskey, we play poker and we laugh at people who can't count. Brilliant.

3) Statler and Waldorf (Tie)
I can go back in time and remember exactly when I was a little girl. These two can totally take me back for one important thing: those were the guys I waited for, everytime the Muppet Show was on. I loved those two old bastards like you can't understand. In fact, I think that's where I got my sarcasm talent. Those guys were mean, they didn't like anything, they criticized without thinking, they had a disdain for... anything. I would have been honored to sit beside them at their little box, so I could join in the hate. Ah, the little pleasures in life.

4) Bert and Ernie (Tie)
This is a no brainer. The best buddies ever, that odd couple that you always kind of wondered... you know. You can be roommates for so long, man. This, my friends, for me is the ultimate tribute to a gay couple, a powerful image of two men who are friends - and so much more.

5) Animal
I like crazy. I like rowdy. Like me.

So there you go. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. If you love muppets like I do and grew up watching, there is no greater joy than going to FAO Schwarz and making your own Whatnot. I spent three glorious hours making my own, and I felt all those hours like a little girl. Even the guy that was helping me out was cracking up watching me go all fan-girl. It's pricey, but totally worth the experience. You will not smile more because it's not humanly possible.

Muppets forever!

"Where's your Pippin now, Bitch?"

Elijah Wood is On FI-YAH! MOST EPIC!

No, IMBD. Shawshank is not the greatest movie of all time.

Godfather, number 2? What is wrong with humanity, dammit?????

Sunday playlist End of September Edition

Paolo Nutini – 10/10
Great song to start off any day.


Wizo – Raum der Zeit
German rock, just for the hell of it



The Who – Baba O-Reilly
A true classic if there ever was one.

Led Zeppelin – Over the hills and far away
One of my fav zeppelin songs.



Chris Cornell – Seasons
Great live performance from one of the voices of grunge.

Café Tacuba - la Negrita
Random song just for the hell of it.

Blind Melon – Drive
One of my favorite Blind Melon songs, and that's saying something.

Mother Love Bone – Star Dig Champion
Probably the biggest woulda, coulda band from the grunge era. RIP Andrew Wood.

Cream – I’m so Glad

Hey sometimes you just gotta be glad.

Brother IZ – Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Smiling is always a great choice for a Sunday.

The Fuck it List

It’s become common practice for people to say that they should have their own Bucket List. For myself I consider that like a Resolution List for a life, and I think it’s great people put down on paper the things they want to do before they die. It puts things in perspective and maybe even allows you to focus your life a little better.

But what about the things that don’t matter? What about the things that waste away your energy and your life and really don’t matter? Do you jot those down on a paper? Do you put post-its around so you remind yourself that some things are not worth it?

Odds are you don’t and that you have no idea of just how many things take away from your life… but I think you should.

Along with your resolutions, along with your Bucket List, everyone should have a Fuck-it List so they don’t lose focus of what matters. Seriously, every time you feel sad, or angry or frustrated, write it down… look at the paper and seriously ask yourself if it’s worth it. Is it worth the strife you go through? Are you going to swallow bitter pill after bitter pill in your life? Or are you going to drop it and focus on what matters?

After all, in essence being angry is a choice… it’s your choice in the end even if at the moment you can’t see it. So by all means, write it down, toss it away and focus on living.

So tell me, what's on your Fuck-it List?

Cheers

Best Adopt-an-Animal spot EVER!!!

I’m tired of always saying yes

Unlike sex where screaming out this almighty token of approval spurs you on to give the best in your pelvic prowess, advertising and corporate communications always insist on being positive and assertive and I can’t help but think it’s just a bit too much. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, then think of the last time a headline or bodycopy had a negative word (no, never, nothing, unlike, etc.) and it got turned around with the request to be rephrased so it were positive.

An age old corporate opinion is that your communication should never have any type of negative connotation whatsoever. It’s a very P&G thing and something that’s embedded into the psyche of middle management and marketing grunts around the world. I can see the merit in occasionally thinking in a more positive light or of using your spinster skills to make any copy into a shining beacon of positivity, but always? Not one exception? There’s no way a no can sneak into an ad? Horse shit.

This is the first time in a long while I’m venting realtime on the job about the job. Lately I had been able to hold it in until I got home to process it. But I don’t want to hold it in. I want to vomit my frustration on corporate bureaucracy that does nothing except insist on wasting my time, just so I can adjust the copy for it to be positive. To sum it up, I just took a piece of shit radio script that made NO sense whatsoever and translated it into a coherent thought. Whereas before you didn’t know what the fuck they were talking about, now you understand and you can even relate… but there’s one catch. I used the word never. The reaction from my department director was classic. A bit more and I would have probably been flogged. Somehow I suspect a repeat offense would have won me a trip to the stake while wearing a kerosene aftershave. That’s the vibe I get from the email, from the request to yet again fix something that doesn’t work in a campaign where there are already 3 executions… but they need that fourth useless turd of a script to be approved by me.

Well let me be the first to say this to you…. NO. NO I do not agree with you. NO I do not think this ad is worth our time and money. NO I do not appreciate you ignoring my recommendations for the fiftieth time in a week and NO I do not respect you as a professional because I’m still waiting to be shown exactly why you deserve the hierarchical slot you’ve attained… I am not a yes man. I am not an anything you say man. I’m a professional. I have an opinion and my anger is a result of my opinion clashing with reality because I’m not subservient and I don’t want to be blamed for something that sucks donkey cock.

So kindly, revise as you see fit and allow me to leave at my regularly assigned hour.

Cheers

Contagion: A review.

Restrictions and I have been yapping - or more likely complaining - that all we talk about is getting sick, going to the doctor, high pressure and all the other things that come with age. Nah, we're not old, but now our bodies need a little more maintenance than usual - and we just laugh about it. And in going with this theme of being sick, let's talk about Contagion, the movie.

Listen, maybe you have a couple of hours to kill - pun intended - and what better way than going to the movies to become a little more neurotic and paranoid about, well... everything you touch and walk by? Contagion will do the trick. If you touch anything at the end of the movie with your bare hands, then you are one ballsy person. But, is it real? Well... sort of.

Contagion has a shitload of great actors. And I wondered from the start why. Now I know. The movie tries to give you a scenario of what would happen if a really airborne and deadly virus would pop up on earth. You basically get this bug that makes you feel shitty and then in a couple of days you die. And yes, you are really passing it on to other people. Ugly, nasty. No gore shit like the very blockbustery Outbreak. This actually looks kind of doable. White snot, convulsions, pale skin and then you wipe out. Scary, yes indeed.

The thing about this movie is that it goes berzerk and states the idea that the US Government would fuck us all and endanger us instead of helping humanity survive. Bureaucracy would give way to thousands and thousands of people getting sick instead of being protected. Higher ups would totally get vaccines instead of normal dick and janes. The media would jump all over the story and twist it for profit. These things are in the movie, and that is why it is very scary. Contagion is sort of a really real what if...

... that's happened before.

Mark this paragraph as the end of my review. Yeah, go and see it. Maybe you get a great idea on how to be a little bit more safe when going to a public space, on how to handle yourself on crowded situations and how to avoid getting your bacteria near me. It is very well photographed, all the characters are credible and the story is well written. It drags a bit in the end but you are already pot committed. You really need to wait because you want to know what happened. But, why stop here my review?

Because if you want to see a movie that will really scare you, you need to rent "And the Band Played On". An 1993 HBO movie, it is based on the non fiction book by the same name on how the AIDS/HIV virus was handled by the government and the media - and how it got spread wildly for no real logical reason. Fights about discovering the virus, loads of politicians playing God and judge, the Reagans not paying real importance to the spreading velocity and not giving the right amount of funds to correctly study it... I can go on and on.

THAT is scary, because THAT HAPPENED FOR REAL. If you don't have access to it, then read the book - it is way more thorough. And yes, we do have an epidemic, and it could have been prevented or maybe it could have been controlled a little - but life got in the way.

Here's a great scene to make you a bit curious...

But is it art?

I consider myself open-minded and worldly, but some shit I just don't get. Why is this piece touring the world's greatest museums? (BTW, it is "Novecento", by artist Maurizio Cattelan.

This. Is. AWESOME! Big Booty Bitches

Five things I would do with a Million Dollars.

The Jokerman is here last week talking about life, love and the universe with me. We're joking around and we stumble unto the old theme of retiring, of moving on from advertising, ah yes... daydreaming of a better life, far far away from that logo that we need to move to the left. We start talking about money, and the fact that the two of us don't need a shitload of it to live happily ever after.

In fact, we could do great with one million dollars.

Yep. Fuck off if people need more than that. We're more than set. We're ok to move on.

But then, the conversation turns to - and what the fuck would I do, the split second I have that amount of money in my hand?

Ah, mein friends. Let's do a Five list, shall we? So! Here is what I would do the first month with that sweet amount of dough:

1) I would buy two tickets to go in a sort of "around the world but not that around" trip that takes at least three months.
Fuck glamour, let's backpack this shit. I mean getting to Paris and saying... what do we wanna do next? No plans, no hotels, no maps. Just walk the earth until we need to take a break. Ah, we're still young, and we still want to party. And yes. I need to do it far away from home.

2) Buy a house. A big comfortable house.
While I might live in a great apartment with a beautiful view - which I am so very grateful - I would just love to have a normal house, with a yard that a dog can play with, a pool where my kids can do laps and a BBQ where my soon to be husband can overcook the steaks.

3) Take a bunch and invest it. Wisely.
There is no better future than to take some money and make it grow. Mostly for my kid's sake. And also, when I get old and wrinkly, I want to know that I have some money to back me up.

4 and 5) Do not apply, because I'm done.
Nope. I don't need expensive cars. I don't need jewelry. I don't need three houses in exotic places. In fact, I just need to travel and a house, and I'm set. Would I work? Sure. But certainly not in advertising. I would still continue if I want to do it, if I miss it. Who knows, I might just open up that restaurant that Restrictions and I keep talking about. Maybe the Pizza thing. Who cares, I'm set.

Simple and yes, to the point. You see? There are sometimes things in life that don't require way too many steps. Even five. Sometimes you are very happy with less. At least, I am.

What would you do?

PS: Like our blog? Sort of enjoy it? Please, help us and like it on Facebook. Share the love. Thanks!

MUST WATCH: Dive! Trailer

The Incredible Power of The Beatles.

Hey Jude Times Square Subway Station from 39forks on Vimeo.

French Condom Ad. Sort of NSFW.

George Carlin. I miss you.

Floyd is da man… he just ain't tha Manny

It’s funny to read about the Mayweather fight especially since I didn’t see it. People are surely asking me that how could I not see the fight last night and my answer is simple… I’m not interested.

I haven’t been interested in Mayweather for years, I think he’s an asshole, I think he’s a prick and I’ve thought for years that he’s bad for the sport. Pound for pound best? Never registered on my Richter scale because he never cleaned out a division like a Marvelous Marvin Hagler, a Juan Manuel Marquéz, A Manny Pacquiao, or a Roy Jones Junior in his prime. Is he talented? Of course he is, I’ve never denied that. But I can’t help but think he’s the type of person whose main way of challenging themselves is in the gym. He’s had a notorious streak of taking on over classed opposition and this case wasn’t an exception.

Sure Ortiz was bigger than Floyd, but that’s about it. Victor has a tendency to square up his shoulders and invite trading and when you fight a master counter puncher like Floyd, that’s just asking for trouble. Case in point Juan Díaz Versus Juan Manuel Marquéz. In their first fight, Díaz showed he was stronger and faster, but Marquéz showed he was better. He picked his spots, threw combinations and fought fire with fire, offering one of the better knockout victories I've ever had the pleasure of watching.

In the highlights I’ve seen from last night, it never seemed like a fight. Floyd dominated with superior punching skills (this we knew) and quicker hand speed (something he’s always had but is content to leave in the holster). Surprisingly some people were surprised at Floyd being faster than Victor. I wasn’t because Floyd has always been fast as hell, you just don’t see him put 4 punch combinations together for the most part… last time I remember it was in the fights vs. Gatti and Diego Corrales.

But let’s go back to the first thing I said… I didn’t watch the fight. Why? Simple, I didn’t want to give the guy any more money. I would have seriously tried to find a way of seeing it for free, but there it was again, I just didn’t care about a Floyd fight and this doesn’t seem likely to change unless he fights Manny Pacquiao.

What really surprises me though is that people are so in shock of what happened last night, namely these 4 things:

1. Floyd dominated the younger Ortiz easily
2. Joe Cortez seemed to shun Ortiz and seemed to be on the side of Floyd
3. Floyd pretty much sucker punched Ortiz to knock him out
4. Floyd cussed out Larry Merchant and ended up looking like a prick

1. Floyd was always going to dominate Victor Ortiz. Sure Victor is a strong hungry champion, but he was out of his league for sure. Something I never had a doubt of skill wise, but that physically might have become a factor if the fight entered the late rounds and if he bull rushed Floyd enough to make him perspire slightly. Skill wise, you just need to see the Berto and Maidana fights to see that Ortiz can get hit and dropped.

2. In defense of Joe Cortez, the head butt was blatant and merited the point deduction. Some people say that he deserved a warning, but when you’re that intentional, there’s no break… regarding the rest of the fight… I didn’t see it, so I don’t know… and I don’t care. There are a couple of referees that aren’t on my nice list and the last couple of years, Joe has done enough for me to worry every time he’s in a big name fight. Unfortunately, Steve Smoger and Tony Weeks can’t be in every fight but hey, at least it’s not Jay Nady or Vic Draculich, and please let us not even mention the name Laurence Cole. Whatever he did was to be expected and on numerous cases, he’s been accused of over indulging in the favorite’s corner.

3. Protect yourself at all times… The most basic of boxing axioms and one Floyd is quick to quote when his tactics are questionable. That’s exactly what he said in the Gatti fight… another fight where he didn’t need to do what he did, but did so anyways. It happened near the end of round #1 of their fight when he sucker punched Gatti when Gatti thought they were being separated and of course everyone was disgusted. If there’s anything I could say in Floyd’s defense is that Victor, although a spirited and exciting fighter, is not exactly bright… He apologized three times to Floyd… I’m not sure if he was expecting a timeout so they could talk things over and make sure that everything was cool. So though it’s unfortunate how it ended, I can’t help but blame Victor because it’s not like Floyd has never shown behavior of this type ever before.

4. This isn’t the first time Larry has had issues with a fighter… you just have to look at post fight interviews between Larry and Bernard Hopkins for this type of entertainment. What was a shock was to see Larry Merchant wish to be younger to kick Floyd’s ass. Probably the most tantalizing moment of the night. Last I checked, Larry Merchant was just as unbeloved as Floyd… People have asked for his retirement for years and maybe in the next fight it’ll be up to Max Kellerman to ask Floyd the questions he doesn’t want to answer, but the reality is that Floyd could have handled this a million other ways, but he didn’t. He ended up berating Merchant and coming off as the asshole… yet again.

But after all is said and done… Floyd gets another victory, a KO no less and he can maintain his bragging rights while giving his next opponent some cannon fodder when they start things up with 24/7. Pretty funny to see that the best contribution of a boxer is to make a reality TV program about his preparation for his next bout and that up to now, not one of his fights has lived up to the hype.

And THAT’S why I didn’t watch last night. I didn’t want to give him my money, and instead watched something that was endlessly more entertaining, a 3hr. block of Ghost Adventures.

But after all is said and done, now I can only wonder one thing… after this performance, will Ring Magazine still see fit to put Floyd at #1 on the pound for pound list? Or will the way in which he got his KO win factor into his rank among the world’s best fighters. Food for thought.

Cheers

So I ate like a big fat AVPIG

If there’s anything I enjoy is going out with my wife, embarking on some good dining, maybe have a nice drink of wine or some other type of cocktail… but we’re prudent because it’s our money we’re spending and though we don’t cut corners, we also don’t overindulge so as to later be up debt creek without a paddle. A while back I was invited to a thank you dinner by some VP who made the collective lives of my team a pain in the ass. From asking for 30,000 revisions and having a prick attitude, to not even acknowledging our existence during the event, the guy went all out in his portrayal of Sir Dick of Doucheness.

So obviously, his way of making up is inviting us to dinner, and a couple of people on my team had the great idea of getting payback by ordering expensive things from the menu. Well the night didn’t exactly flow that way and pretty much no one ordered anything… not because the guy was a cheapskate, but because there was no need to do any more damage to his corporate credit card than what he was already doing. After all was said and done, 5 wine bottles had been consumed (ranging from $125-$300 a bottle), along with 3 full deserts (the equivalent of asking for an entire pie instead of a slice), three huge appetizers and enough meat to feed a the starting lineup of your favorite NFL team. The check was around the $1,800 mark… for 10 people.

I’m writing about this just to highlight the difference between lower echelon employees (AKA real people like the ones who read this blog) and VPs and AVPs (people who have no concept of money because unlike CEOs and Presidents, they won’t foot the bill). Normal employees look for bargain lunches and ways of cutting down costs while many VPs spend with reckless abandon. Everyone is saying that times are tough, money is tight and that tough decisions have to be made… That dinner proved that such a statement is utter bullshit. If VPs and higher ups didn’t live such lavish lifestyles, a lot of people, good people, wouldn’t need to be canned. But that’s not the case, because 99 out of 100 times, there is no such thing as a corporate family. There are just people who work to move the machine along so the rich can be fed.

It took me about two nights to make peace with what happened during that dinner, because it’s not like the perception of the VP changed or that he’ll be nicer the next time out. All that was proved is that anyone can spend money lavishly when it doesn’t come from their pocket and that if a few heads need to be chopped and eggs broken to preserve this lifestyle, so be it.

TV Host FAIL. And I mean Total FAIL.

Star Wars Stand Up To Cancer! It rocks!

MUST WATCH: Taxidermy TV Commercial

Via @copyranter.

At least the Jack Nicholson is good.

I guess someone saw Inception way too many times: IBM Smarter Cities

The Greatest Speech Ever Made. Bravo, Chaplin.

Do yourself a favor and watch every single Charlie Chaplin movie. Trust me, they are wonderful.

Porkdance. She's a maniac, maaaaaaniac on the floor...

Snickers: Steve is delicious. GENIUS!

NO, I'm not even a Snickers fan. But I LOVE THIS AD!

Snickers: Joe Pesci. LOVE IT!

Contagion - Bacteria Billboard

THIS IS AWESOME! How cool that they decided to do this!

Five Things I would tell myself if I could travel back in time when I was studying advertising.

Doc Brown, says the story, was the man who invented the most awesome Time Machine. In a very cool car named Delorean, the possibilities are endless. You could travel back and forward in time, to maybe meet your parents, meet Ghandi, talk an hour with Marlon Brando while filming Godfather... or maybe, just maybe, you could go back to when you were in college... and give yourself nice pointers on your future. You know what? For as much as I would love to tell Sinatra to sing me a tune or two - I would gladly go back to the nineties to tell myself some deep shit.

The following would be my 15 minute monologue to my younger self:

Hey Me. Listen, we don't have much time and I want it to really count. In this stage in your life, you think you know everything about anything. Well, apart from handling much better your alcohol and having a kick ass social life (which please don't change one bit, you're making it count, trust me) - I need to tell you some stuff so you can decide if you want to end up like Me-Me or maybe a different Me. And in grand tradition - it's something from the future you will develop in something called a blog, and it's awesome - I will tell you just five things you need to think about. Some words of advice, I guess. Ready?

1) You should really think a little bit more on changing your major to writing.
This is a no brainer. You know you really enjoy to write, so why are you settling on advertising? If writing really makes you happy, then why are you doing this when you know the longest body of work you will do is a full brochure? Why let that dream go away? You know what will happen? You will end up starting what will be called a blog because you will find yourself aching to write something else besides a 30 second spot. You will daydream of some great magazine calling you up after they read some of your posts and offering you a part time job - something that will never happen. You will wish you could write a book about your life in advertising, but you also know that will never happen. Why take the road you really don't want to go?

2) Don't take anything personal.
The good thing is that you've never done that in your life, so it's all good. Just never lose it. Advertising is tough and people are plain scumbags. It's up to you to see the truth in people and call it like you see it.

3) Take time for yourself.
Since I'm telling you at a particular moment when your body is giving out, this is the one most important things you need to know. Me, you are not curing cancer. I KNOW YOU KNOW. Stop talking. Listen. Yeah. I know you know that it might be just a job, but you need to take things more calmly. If people don't give a fuck about deadlines, then you really need to chill. If you are doing a great job and you are focusing on great delivery - and other people don't, then it's their shit to handle. Just tell the people you need to tell... Will you shup up and listen? No, it's not being a snitch. It's being responsible and making people do their job so you can do yours. And remember to take vacations, try to never miss a family party and just take some time to breathe.

4) Focus on great advertising, not prizes.
Let others enjoy being at Cannes. Trust me, the few prizes you will see will mean nothing to you. It's better to focus on your name. By making excellent work that actually gets results and sales, your clients will remember your name. Trust me, a metal shlong with your name will not make your clients remember your work. Treat them like Kings and Queens, deliver on time and with awesome quality. In time, you will see that I'm right.

5) Never stop painting or taking photos.
One day you will miss it terribly. Never lose that, keep at it, you are very good. And no, I'm not saying it like I'm your family. You really have some talent and besides... you really are at peace when you do it.

PS: You should start drinking Tequila. No, woman. It's not bad. It's REALLY GOOD. Trust me.

Much self-love, Me.

Would you rather be here: Maldives edition

Been a long time since I've done this type of torture. Yeah. Tomorrow is Friday. Great. But we're not at the Maldives. So it's just Friday. Period.

The Rum Diary - Official Trailer

The Oscars will have some ICE CREAM: Eddie Murphy to host!

Yes. YES! Eddie's back!!!!!!! This is it, I know it! Next up: stand up!!!!!

Very COOL! The Eyeborg Documentary

WARNING! Video contains very graphic visual content of surgery which may be somewhat upsetting to some of you.


The human body is amazing. Please enjoy and share.

Dear George Lucas: A tale of too many revisions.

Dear Mr. Lucas;

I write this not on my behalf, but in name of all the Star Wars fans out there. Well, I could say that I have a slight interest in this theme, since I'm a lover of all things evil. Fidel Castro, Satan, Hannibal Lecter - truly evil characters of fiction which kick some serious ass. Did I include Darth Vader in the "Five Villains that Define Me" list? Nah. Vader was bad, but not bad enough for me.

And then you came to make him a total loser wimp. You decided, for some god forsaken reason, to destroy a generation's villain - for your blu ray release.

Sir, you just pissed off a lot of people. And some of them want to know why. You see, George - yeah, I'm on a first name basis now with you - you had a great film that defined a generation, that created geeks, nerds, dweebs... in a good way. You made them feel like they wanted to travel the universe, fighting evil. And yes, I'll even admit that somewhere in my childhood there was a moment where I designed a full X-wing in a discarded Refrigerator box, full of cushions and Barbies (and this will be the last time I'll ever acknowledge it, ever). So there. I did enjoy the Wars when I was little. I did want to use the force, for a while. And when I grew up, while my love for all things Luke and Leia faded, I still thought that Vader kicked ass.

And then, you decided to release your movies on Blu Ray and made, along with Ewoks being able to blink (WTF!?), this piece of crap:



No? NOOOOOO? What IS THIS? Vader's silent sacrifice was EPIC, Mr. Lucas! And YOU RUINED IT! Now this is an example of taking something and revising, revising and revising until you take a good film and destroy it. Jesus H. Christ, let's just hope Coppola doesn't take Godfather and make Santino survive the bullets, because I could not handle it. You CANNOT take a film that has been adored and loved for ages and decide to change a character! You can revise mistakes, you can revise the look, you can touch up all the crap things you wanted on this film so that it can be better, but you cannot suddenly take the single moment of a story and think... let's change it up a bit. Did you think no one would notice?

And talking about revisions and advertising - a word of caution: as a sort of working ad person, I would STRONGLY recommend you to announce stupid changes to your work BEFORE you start selling your product. You see, some of your fans won't like to buy your Blu Ray and discover - AGAIN - that you decided to revise it for the eleventh time. You already had bad marks for revising Han and Greedo's shooting scene: all the CGI in the world cannot make it right again, HAN SHOT FIRST, period.

* Jesus. This post is nerd to the max. Oh well. *

In conclusion, Old George, I need you to do one thing for me. In fact, my generation needs a favor from you. You need to stop meddling with Star Wars films. Period. If you want to revise something, focus on Howard the Duck. If you feel the need to do something creative, I would suggest a radical idea: MAKE A NEW MOVIE. Yes! You can do it! A new movie, about a new subject NON SPACEY or NOT HEROISH. Yes George, you know you can do it.

Use the force.

How to Open a Beer with another Beer.

The more things change, the more they stay the same: Me's Family Reunion.

Last night I decided to be brave enough to endure a family reunion. We were celebrating my grandpa's 60th wedding anniversary, and well, while I do have a very rocky relationship with my father's side of the family, I decided to grow some balls and go.

You have to remember, I am suffering from extreme exhaustion, insomnia, anxiety. Yeah. Real exciting times to attempt this. I'm at my most frail moment, yet I accepted the challenge of being with people who judge me and make my life difficult for hours on end. I must have a loose bolt or something.

So there I was. Haven't seen 99% of any of them in years. Last time I saw them, it was pretty depressing and hard to endure. They have never understood why I disappeared - and never bothered to ask. They just thought I abandoned them, never knowing that it was all of them who pushed me away. They glanced at me with dirty looks - why is SHE here? I wondered they thought. Oh well, here we go again, I thought. Maybe this time will be different.

While I'm sort of glad to report that I didn't leave with an anxiety attack, and for some reason people were a little bit nicer, it was still bittersweet and difficult for me to be there. I came home exhausted, silent, tired, feeling like I had run a marathon.

I learned a lot from life yesterday night, and myself.

I learned that I still have a strong defense mechanism. I learned that when people don't know all the truth they manipulate information so they look good and you always look bad. I learned that I honestly give a shit about that last statement, because I now know who I am, because I'm not lost anymore trying to decipher where I came from; but where I'm going. I learned that the term family is really relative and that it should not have to be related to blood or dna. I learned that people, when they are not really interested, never really listen to you.

I have been working at advertising for almost two decades now. Do you know that 90% of my family asked me - AGAIN - what is it that I do? Shit, I haven't even changed my cellphone number - and they still asked for it, even when I know that they have called me years ago - and I have called. Oh, you work in advertising, huh... What is that, exactly? (They give me this look like I'm a failure, since I come from a doctor/lawyer-or-nothing attitude of life).

So why did this all happen, you might ask, what did they do to me so that I felt this way? I am the first person who comes from a divorce in my family - and they took all their anger and frustration about braking that "record" out on me. They are a very tight nit family, so they cannot fathom the idea of me being independent and not calling every 10 seconds to analyze my next life step. They also reprimanded me constantly on not calling my father or wanting to be with him, without knowing that I tried constantly when I was growing up until I could not take his indifference one second more and gave up.

So you can understand that the winner of the night, the prize of all prizes was this little bit of story...

My aunt is sitting there giving me the all time lecture on why I suck and why it's so bad that I seldom see them anymore. While I'm there taking it like a man, basically, she continues on the theme of all themes: my deadbeat dad. The man that I despise the most, the man that has not cared at all about me and that I stopped caring for when I was a teenager. The man that disfigured the idea of a father, a concept that to this day I cannot relate at all.

"Your father changed for good so much, he's a completely new man" - my aunt tells me.

"Yeah? So why isn't he at his parent's wedding anniversary party" - I replied, empowered.

Silence is sometimes golden.

Kudos for me being right for one second, even if it took 40 years.

Google WINS: Freddie Mercury 65th Bday Tribute RULES!

Yes. Freddie Mercury was amazing, and if you don't know his music, you are missing on some serious genius material. The world misses you dearly, Fred. You were taken way too early from us. But, the show must go on.

Zuckerberg, meet Why Advertising Sucks: We joined Facebook!

Yes. I know. It's been quite a while. We really talked about being or not being there. But hey, we need to make a next step, we need to let our little space in the internet get known and what better place than old blue Facebook? So we're looking for brave new souls that will like our page. Yeah, the writers cannot join it - we really treasure our anonymity - but we promise that we will keep you up to date on all the links as we do on Twitter (WHAT? You are not following us? Now I'm pissed.) If you like our page, by all means share the joy of the WAS hate to your friends! (And yes, I'm wondering who will be our first volunteer... that brave soul that without fear says... I LIKE WAS ON FACEBOOK)

Click here to Like us!

Feel Better. Even Morgan Spurlock doesn't get his concepts approved sometimes.

In his latest documentary, The Greatest Movie Ever Sold, Morgan Spurlock tackles our bread and butter: advertising. And you know what? It's amusing, funny and sort of a great film to watch - at least for us. While this movie explains the wonderful world of advertising in a very simple way - Morgan suffers just like the rest of us on those little things that annoy the fuck out of us in a very daily way.

Yes, just like us, Morgan gets concepts shut down. Yes, just like us, Morgan gets unnerving comments which make absolutely no sense about his ideas. He gets stupid revisions and gets - are you sitting down? - references in creativity which he needs to follow. This alone made it a great film to watch because hey, if a famous director suffers the same thing I do, then it's a movie I would gladly recommend to any of you out there.

The Greatest Movie ever sold's premise is simple: while going into the ugly effects that advertising have on our public's life (and maybe our own) - he decides that it was going to be very easy to sell ad space in his movie. Starting with the name of the film and all the things he might need to use in the process of making his film... and then he learns... yup. Clients seldom understand amazing and risky concepts, therefore no, I cannot run an ad on your movie. While it would make total sense, lots of brands decided "yup, not for me". Ah, how I've suffered from that line as well.

Is this a movie for the masses? Sort of. People do acknowledge that there is too much advertising around them, but we still encourage more and more production of it. Governments in the US do not limit the ad content that people see around them. We, and I know you will totally agree, are a sort of disgusting social cancer that spreads way fast and everytime you try to remove a little for your own good, it just spreads somewhere else to do more damage.

Oh, and the assholes. Yes! Spurlock's movie has the right balance of normal ad people and gems of bullshitters. Yey! In short, this documentary will make you smile and nod while laughing at what you do on a daily basis. You cannot miss it.

Fuck Fabio

Nuff said people