Dec 7, 2011
Pin the tail on the fuckface
When it comes down to efficiency, MAN do some people suck. Seriously, it is a marvel to see some people in action… or well to see their lack of action. You can write an email with a red flag and that exclamation point indicating urgent, you can leave a post it on their desk, you can corner them in the halls, but that doesn’t mean they’ll work with any degree of diligence. Actually, just because you need something, that probably means that they’ll do a power play and say, this can wait because I’m so and so person.
The fun part is that the exact opposite goes for what those people need. If they ask you something, you have about 30 minutes to deal… if you ask for anything, know that it’ll take between 3 and 5 business days. That’s the way it goes, that’s the way the cookie crumbles and that’s just a friendly reminder to let you know who the peon is in the equation.
Regardless of your industry, regardless of which department or which function you do, please realize that if you’re not at least mid management, you will not be taken seriously. Keeping you in the loop so you don’t double or triple efforts doesn’t matter. Letting you know a situation is resolved so that you can do whatever else you have, what for? Responding with speed to something you need urgently because some other corporate peacock has its feathers ruffled so you have to respond? That is not necessary because remember, you’re not mid management, you do not control your time and your efforts are to serve their needs exclusively.
The fucking pageantry that is corporate bureaucracy is nauseating to behold, and unfortunately for most people… we have season tickets in the front row. The thing is that no matter who you pin the tail on, odds are you’ll win because the amount of fuckface bigot power hungry mongrels that work throughout most companies pretty much guarantees that you’ll have to work with stupid people who get paid to act rude and work inefficiently.
Oh well…
Cheers regardless
The fun part is that the exact opposite goes for what those people need. If they ask you something, you have about 30 minutes to deal… if you ask for anything, know that it’ll take between 3 and 5 business days. That’s the way it goes, that’s the way the cookie crumbles and that’s just a friendly reminder to let you know who the peon is in the equation.
Regardless of your industry, regardless of which department or which function you do, please realize that if you’re not at least mid management, you will not be taken seriously. Keeping you in the loop so you don’t double or triple efforts doesn’t matter. Letting you know a situation is resolved so that you can do whatever else you have, what for? Responding with speed to something you need urgently because some other corporate peacock has its feathers ruffled so you have to respond? That is not necessary because remember, you’re not mid management, you do not control your time and your efforts are to serve their needs exclusively.
The fucking pageantry that is corporate bureaucracy is nauseating to behold, and unfortunately for most people… we have season tickets in the front row. The thing is that no matter who you pin the tail on, odds are you’ll win because the amount of fuckface bigot power hungry mongrels that work throughout most companies pretty much guarantees that you’ll have to work with stupid people who get paid to act rude and work inefficiently.
Oh well…
Cheers regardless
Dec 6, 2011
Correction, Twilight doesn’t suck… it BLOWS
By now you’ve probably heard Twilight is a piece of shit. It’s a blood sucking, vampire sparkling in the sun like a diamond piece of shit. It’s Saved by the Bell - the Vampire Years. It’s a tween sensation that makes parents revile the fact that Stephanie Meyer even exists.
You see, it’s not just enough that she wrote a successful Danielle Steel vampire novel series. There are the movies and of course there’s the merchandise. Action figures, t-shirts, posters, notebooks, candy hearts, wigs, costumes, love potions and pretty much anything you can put a sticker on it and it’s Twilight related… but they’ve reached an all time low. A Twilight blow dryer, brush and curler combo………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. really?
People spend money on this shit? People are gullible enough to buy a fucking blow dryer for immortal vampires? This might ACTUALLY be someone’s Christmas gift? Great… I knew I was looking for a sign that the world may actually end in 2012, but I was expecting something more special than a piece of shit blow dryer with the logos and trademark blessing of Ye Olde Suck Kings - The Twilight Crew.
There’s a reason why Hollywood churns out shitty films… it’s apparently the easiest way to make a billion dollars…. And that’s just on ticket sales. Of course that’s not the worst of it all… no, no, no… it’s not that there’s a Twilight blow dryer… it’s that there’s still an extra movie to torture people of good taste the world around and still a year’s worth of Twilight fans being… well being Twilight fans.
End of the world via Twilight? Where’s an asteroid when you need it?
Cheers
Dec 5, 2011
Insane in the mundane
When you crunch all the numbers in the world, odds are fairly high that whoever reads this post is not really satisfied with their chosen trade. Sure, the money is nice and the fact that you have material for a conversation if someone asks you what you do for a living is always a plus, but really, look at yourself in the reflection of your computer monitor and tell me you don’t wish you’d be doing something else with your life.
Some people might say that since economic times are on the withered side of business, that you have to make do with you have, that you have to settle, that you should just put up with it. It’s funny to me, because even when things are going good, the same set of advice rears its ugly head. Then again, the same can be true for people who seem to walk like some Broadway actor saying, throw caution to the wind, live life to its fullest and blast off carpe diem bursts of grandeur that prompt most people to ask, what’s in it for you.
That still doesn’t change the fact that a boatload of people aren’t happy with what they do with 8-11 hours of their week day. It’s almost as if depression has become a lifestyle rather than a condition. Something so common and typical that people marinate in their funk rather than do something about it.
Reasons for this general malaise in the world are as varied as the countries that inhabit the Earth, but one of the reasons so many people put up with it and conform, may have more to do with the control mechanisms available nowadays. The Internet, videogames, movies, and enough TV channels to stunt even the most gifted mind are just some of the mechanisms to dumb down people are keep them content because people who are entertained are a lot easier to control than people who are bored and have to stare at their problems in the face.
Think about it, how many times have you been frustrated or angry about something and to blow off some steam you have a beer, watch a game, resort to porn or blow the brains out of hundreds of computer animated characters. You dull your anger and dissatisfaction just enough to get to sleep and then you wake up and do it again. It’s as if people ignore themselves just enough to be functional.
Take some meds for that back pain or headaches, take some meds to make me not care, watch some TV to distract myself and voilá, ten years have gone by. But that’s ok, you’re a professional… you have a career, you mean something. People need you.
To dispel this myth, feel free to be absent from your work two days… get injured, get food poisoning, anything… just be completely disconnected for 48 hours and then we’ll talk about how indispensable you are.
Just in case, this message is not intended to depress or frustrate people further, it’s just a would-be call to arms to one simple thing: Imagine if you worked as hard to be happy as you do to be content. Imagine if you fueled your efforts to satisfaction rather than conformity. Why do I say this? Pretty simple, it takes a lot of effort for anyone to be content and if they put the same effort to being happy, good things would start to happen eventually. And by putting effort to being happy, that means working to do things you love rather than do something you can tolerate to earn enough to buy what you like and spend 3 weeks a year doing what you love.
I guess what I’m saying is that it takes the same energy to be happy or to be complacent, so why settle for the crappier alternative.
Cheers
Some people might say that since economic times are on the withered side of business, that you have to make do with you have, that you have to settle, that you should just put up with it. It’s funny to me, because even when things are going good, the same set of advice rears its ugly head. Then again, the same can be true for people who seem to walk like some Broadway actor saying, throw caution to the wind, live life to its fullest and blast off carpe diem bursts of grandeur that prompt most people to ask, what’s in it for you.
That still doesn’t change the fact that a boatload of people aren’t happy with what they do with 8-11 hours of their week day. It’s almost as if depression has become a lifestyle rather than a condition. Something so common and typical that people marinate in their funk rather than do something about it.
Reasons for this general malaise in the world are as varied as the countries that inhabit the Earth, but one of the reasons so many people put up with it and conform, may have more to do with the control mechanisms available nowadays. The Internet, videogames, movies, and enough TV channels to stunt even the most gifted mind are just some of the mechanisms to dumb down people are keep them content because people who are entertained are a lot easier to control than people who are bored and have to stare at their problems in the face.
Think about it, how many times have you been frustrated or angry about something and to blow off some steam you have a beer, watch a game, resort to porn or blow the brains out of hundreds of computer animated characters. You dull your anger and dissatisfaction just enough to get to sleep and then you wake up and do it again. It’s as if people ignore themselves just enough to be functional.
Take some meds for that back pain or headaches, take some meds to make me not care, watch some TV to distract myself and voilá, ten years have gone by. But that’s ok, you’re a professional… you have a career, you mean something. People need you.
To dispel this myth, feel free to be absent from your work two days… get injured, get food poisoning, anything… just be completely disconnected for 48 hours and then we’ll talk about how indispensable you are.
Just in case, this message is not intended to depress or frustrate people further, it’s just a would-be call to arms to one simple thing: Imagine if you worked as hard to be happy as you do to be content. Imagine if you fueled your efforts to satisfaction rather than conformity. Why do I say this? Pretty simple, it takes a lot of effort for anyone to be content and if they put the same effort to being happy, good things would start to happen eventually. And by putting effort to being happy, that means working to do things you love rather than do something you can tolerate to earn enough to buy what you like and spend 3 weeks a year doing what you love.
I guess what I’m saying is that it takes the same energy to be happy or to be complacent, so why settle for the crappier alternative.
Cheers
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