Jan 29, 2012

The girl who breathed but couldn’t: when work becomes a smelly hazard

When people say a job stinks, rarely do they mean it literally. Unfortunately for someone I know, that’s not the case unilaterally. You see, this wonderful person whom I hold in the highest esteem may be beautiful, smart, talented and a veritable general when it comes to strategy, but she’s also a magnet for stinky ass people. I’m not talking about your average case of B.O. I’m talking about people who are a fucking health hazard.

The thing is that there’s stinky people, like hippies against deodorant, then there are stinky people because they CHOOSE to be stinky… and I explain. It’s one thing to stink because you wiped inappropriately, because you sweated a bit and your armpits are glazed with stank gravy, or because, well you and the shower don’t get along. It’s a WHOLE other thing to stink mainly based on what you choose to stuff your face with.

People, if you’re in a closed space like an airplane, or in a meeting where people have to fucking EN-DURE your presence, avoid eating shit like pork rinds, cheddar popcorn, beef jerky or heaven forbid, a can of bloody tuna (true stories). It not only makes no sense whatsoever to sit there in a meeting peeling open your snack, it’s rude to the other people who are doing their best to chew back their quesadilla lunch.

Common fucking sense people. It’s not only good for the body and the mind, it’s good for the work environment. If you insist on eating these foods, then don’t complain when you are called porky bitch, cheesy Louisie, Jerky Jerry or tuna cock. You fucking asked for it.

Now easy breezy fabreeze the fuck away.


PS.: image found on www.thefruitmonster.com


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