Apr 16, 2012

5 New random things that annoy: Me.

It's been a while since I've done the Five List series, but life has a way of inspiring us so that we remember to write, again and again... People have the power to make things that make me so angry, and it's unbelievable how the list keeps growing and growing... Here we go. My latest include:

1) If you call me, then stop talking to someone else.
The phone is the single most annoying thing in the world for me. I take calling people seriously. Answering a call as well. So if you decide to call me and then proceed to put me on you-hear-everything hold, I go nuts. No, I'd rather not hear your funny ha ha joke while I wait for you to tell me what it is that you called me for. Just hang up, do your shit, and call me back when you are alone and ready.

2) People who tell secrets in front of you
The last time I checked, high school ended a hundred years ago. Some people really need to grow up. Being an adult is fantastic, you should try to check it out. The next time you feel the need to tell the person next to me something you don't want me to know, wait until I leave the premises.

3) People who drive slowly
Hitting someone with your car because they are driving too slow should be legal, man. The world is moving in fast forward, and we don't need people who think that 40 mph is acceptable. Take a bus or a train and fuck off.

4) Family who calls me and wants me to feel guilty about some stupid shit.
I'm busy. I don't call most of the time to tell you every damn detail of my life. So please, get over it, I will call when I can. If you don't like it, then you can choose any other person to release your guilt trip. Caller ID was invented because of you and trust me, I will totally use it.

5) People who think they need to give me "instructions"
Do it this way. Say it this way. Do this or that way. WTF! I don't allow even my mother - who pushed me out into the world - to do this, why then people think they can do it?

Join in the hate and post yours. Much anger, Me.


RestrictionsApply said...

1.) People who talk on the phone while eating

2.) People who fiddle with the smartphone while engaging in face-to-face conversation

3.) People who talk about their kids

4.) People who give me advice on how to be fit, when they themselves can't climb a flight of stairs without an oxygen tank

5.) People who "humbly" brag about their achievements and how awesome they are, but then say it's not about them

Joker said...

1. People who cough on top of me

Hygiene and manners should always get along yet somehow a vast majority of people seem to think it’s totally acceptable to douse me with their germs. At these times, I wish I was Jack Bauer to cave their head in with a Gloc.

2. Groups of three or more people that walk at half a mile an hour in a mall

I’m all for going at your own speed, really I am. I am not however in line with inconsiderate people who want to block an entire aisle. Don’t want to go fast? No problem. Just don’t clog the walking lane.

3. Annoying children at movie theaters.

If you cannot control the little shit you call a child, keep them locked in a cage at home. Parenting is a skill and it bothers me that so many people let their kids run them over. Grow balls, get control and fuck timeouts.

4. Politics

Politics would be more fascinating if there weren’t social repercussions to pay. I swear, watching debates is like watching Jersey Shore filtered through political myopia. Anything for a vote, any lie to get ahead, and the country? Fuck it. It only matters if we win.

5. People who drive too fast and are in a hurry all of the time

Sorry Me, I’m one of the slow drivers you complain about, and guess what, you might be one of the speed demons I complain about. Truth be told, I try to never be in a real hurry until I need to be in a hurry. I think people live in Fast Forward too much and that explains why our health has suffered. People complain at traffic jams, I laugh at the predicament, put on a CD and ride it through 9Yes I said put on a CD). Now, that people feel the need to pass me at 80 MPH in a 50 MPH zone while swerving to the tunes of Kenny Logins rendition of Danger Zone, well I can’t agree and I can’t help but recommend a chill pill, some extra glasses of water in your diet or just calming the fuck down for a change. :D

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