May 16, 2012

5 Relationship Non-Negotiables that define: Me


A couple of days ago I was talking to a friend who is still single and is starting out on the dating circles again. She was complaining that... well, let's just say that whatever is out there, it's just difficult to work with. I don't know where she's trying to meet new men (I am one of those who thinks that a bar is not a place to look anyway), but her statement left me thinking... what would happen if I were single again and had to find a hot hunk? What would I not agree on, no matter what? I've never done this list for as long as I've dated men, ever, this would be my first. It's not that if the men that I would meet would have all five, it's just that the following list, any item here would be reason for me to just walk away.

By the way, let's agree on the fact that it is completely logical that I won't list drugs or violence. It's just moronic to think that someone can tolerate this behavior, male or female. So! The five things that would not make me date or even go to first base with a man are...

1) Men who go to church and/or are deeply religious
I'm so sorry, I'm just not built with that chip. You can believe in any God you want, I just don't find any possible way that I can have anything in common with someone who needs to actively go to church or starts yapping about the Bible... No man. I believe in myself, I believe that we come from the huge blast and the crazy shit that followed. Yes, you can find my lack of faith disturbing, Vader. Am I saying this just because? No way man. I dated a religious dude once. It was a fucking nightmare. My values, my morals were all questioned and/or evaluated with a book written by men hundreds of years ago. No way. Go find yourself a nice church-going chick. The sex is going to be boring anyway.

2) Men who are waaaaaay too much into porn
I believe that all guys need their boob watching from time to time. Go visit your hugeknockers.com for all I care. But let's not make it a daily or even weekly theme, shall we? There is no more lame thing in the world for a woman to see your web history, your hidden magazines (been there got a tshirt) or just wacking off to some idiot blonde who just says "Baby, baby!". (One day I will write about when that happened to me, I think I'm still not over that moment) I'm not in the business of competition, and sometimes unhealthy porn habits become just that for us: we then will feel that we need to look or fuck like them. I'm so over that phase as well (yes, dated one with that slight problem as well). I believe that I have the talent to make my men not need it one bit - and if you need more, then I'm not the problem, it's all you.

3) Men who don't let me just be
If there is one thing I love about my sweet man, it's this: I don't need to keep tabs on where I am or what I am doing and viceversa. If there is another thing that Bugs the shit out of me is asking permission to do shit or being asked if someone can do anything. I will go out to drink with my friends, and sometimes I will let my man know a couple of hours before. It does not make me a bitch. It goes the other way around, I will not even budge if he tells me that he's going anywhere. It's all about trust and confidence in myself to know that we are adults and that we operate separately as well as together. If you start to talk about every damn thing you are doing, then you will lose a part of that thing that makes you, you.

4) Really messy or really neat guys.
All things in life have to have a nice balance. If you go either way to the point of being a sick hoarder or a "Living with the Enemy" dude... I'm just out of the door. Extremes are a warning, and I definitively take notice.

5) Workaholic
I believe in success. I just believe in having a life and enjoying it. If work is a priority, then find a chick who's willing to not see you from time to time.

Other non-negotiable mentions are: Lack of The Beatles knowledge may be harmful, lack of passion or PDA does not work at all for me, no interest in traveling the world, if your abs are a way of life, telling me if I'm dressing way too sexy, avid nudie bar client, not having a dark sense of humor... and being a total mama's boy.

Join in the fun and share with us your five list! Much love to the normal single dudes out there. Me would have loved you long time.

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