May 12, 2012

A Toast to Stupid People and the Idiots that Hire them.

"We need you to take a look at a color proof that is a little weird".

"Sure, I'm going to get a messenger right away so he can pick it up".

"Oh, don't worry, I'll scan it for you".

(Silence on my end of the phone line)

Let's explore the age old question: how do really stupid people - and I mean morons, I mean those folks who you end up just staring at and wondering how they made it so far in life - get a job in advertising? How do they trick people in believing that they know what they are doing? HOW???

Ok listen. Advertising is NOT that big of a deal of a job, if you really think about it. What I mean is, while it is stressful, it's not so difficult that a 20 year old rookie can't manage it over time. I've seen people who have no idea on the ad agency life come in and in a few months have landed decent jobs. I've seen talented guys and gals that I know will have a great career in a few years - and then I see some dumb twats who I just look and honestly wonder if they sucked something to get that job.

While a resume can carry anything you write in it, I believe that in less than 3 months we all can see all the lies you decided to put in there. But there are some people that just look at that bullshit and actually think it will get better, or maybe that person needs more training.

NO! If you are a dumb fuck, you will always be a dumb fuck. If you think that a JPG is a final file to send to the printers, then YOU will always fuck up. If I tell you "Deliver this ASAP", and you ask me for the address to ASAP, then you will always suck at this job. If you write me an email after reviewing some creative and all you give me is "I don't know, or do something more "fun", then you have NO idea on what you are doing. Period. End of story.

Now the thing that bugs me is when you have a dumb idiot at your office but no one dares to fire them. I don't get this math at all. What do you want, some moron doing really badly or an empty chair until you find someone that at least can walk and think at the same time? Get that person OUT OF YOUR TEAM!!! Don't you realize that all that you are doing is impairing the rest of the team? Don't you realize that when she or he fucks up, it's the rest of us normal homo sapiens who are there to fix shit up? Oh yeah, so now we have to do our job and this stupid bitche's job as well. GREAT!

And by the way... didn't you interview that person? Yes, the paper holds a lot of shit, and some people have the ability to sell themselves better than a hooker at the corner. But that doesn't mean that if you DO YOUR JOB, and ask the right questions, you can see through the bullshit eventually. A great interview is like an polite interrogation, you need to see where you can catch them. So it's YOUR fault that now the agency is one moron plus. Might as well grow some balls and fire them. It's ok. We all make mistakes. You can admit yours and we can all move on.

A great team does not have a weak link!

Much love sans moronic people, Me.

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