Checking out: Me Edition

I'm going to jump in RestrictionsApply's bandwagon and examine how do I want do die. And, like good old friends, we differ in many things regarding kicking the bucket. While he wants to die old and with a fulfilled life, I'd rather cut it short and sweet.

Maybe it's because I don't have children and the idea of it is slowly fading away - totally my own fault for letting advertising and my career get in the way - but I live right now like there will be no tomorrow. I also was brought up on a very weird family from my father's side - where traveling, eating and even drinking was a luxury instead of a reality. They waited so long to do any of those things, I always found myself thinking "Why work so hard if you will not enjoy the rewards of it?"

Also, although I've never had a family member die, I did have a dear sister in law who passed away at the age of 28. She had her baby months before and the day we buried her she was supposed to be getting married... It was devastating. As I sat there, looking at her baby jump and play sitting in her coffin, I thought about how short life is, how you have to grab it by the balls and really go for it, because you will never know what will happen next.

So, if you ask me how I want to retire... I would love to say bye bye at the age of sixty something. And nope, I don't want a truly violent death, because my Mom will outlive me (I could not fathom seeing her pass first). Also, I don't want my husband to remember me with any bad vibes. In fact, what I honestly think will happen is that I will inherit some family-disease and will die gloriously fighting it. I guess I'm so stubborn I will take it to my grave in all glory, fighting some ugly tumor.

The one thing I'm taking care of is exploring the world and making my life mean something. I have taken some huge Leaps of Faith recently, which years ago would have never thought of. Now I find myself tweaking my career as well so I feel a little more pleased with my future instead of navigating myself deeper into a black hole of repetitiveness.

You know what? Even if tomorrow I have a huge brain aneurysm and delete myself from this Earth, I can honestly say that I'm ok to go. Would have loved to go to Vietnam, Bora Bora, Australia and Amsterdam... but met the love of my life, laughed, had the greatest friends someone can ever wish for, enjoyed my cocktail or two and had lots of fun.

Isn't that the meaning of life?

Much Love. Me.