Dance Monkey Dance

Hello kiddies. Just because your uncle Joker has been quiet doesn’t mean the anger has subsided. Quite the contrary actually. People seem to think because I’m in a communications department for a "genuine company" that everything is rosy, and wonderful, and Kosher. Well it isn’t, far from it actually.

You see, when you work in a large proper company, you know, a freely traded company with a 401K you tend to see other things. Oh don’t worry, I still work advertising freelance and trust me it keeps me sane to be able to charge for revisions, and yes, even in “this economy” I charge for revisions, but that’s another post for another day. This one is about dancing and about how I’m fucking fed up with it.

Here in Corporate Dumbledouche Land there are SO many dances for your enjoyment. There’s the Revision Cha-cha, an old classic from advertising except it’s aggravated thanks to a long list of owners and opioneers hell bent on swashbuckling the shit out of your work. But on this occasion I’m doing the Monkey Dance while getting pelted by peanuts in the face for my efforts.

Ok, I get it that as professionals we should offer quality service in all that we do. We should be speedy and responsible and considerate and detail oriented. That’s all fine and dandy and fucking fantastic. But I seem to have missed the part of my job description that explicitly states I have to say yes to everything and not use my professional criteria in benefit of the task at hand. I was also unaware that asking people to do more than the bare minimum was also disallowed, but here I am, looking at a poorly written request, asking myself how hard is it to say no and ask people to be just half as professional as they claim to be. I’m here being expected to say thank you sir, can I have another revision, and another, and another, and all the while, I’m supposed to have cymbals on my hands with a little hat on.

There’s this expectation of subservience that is unsettling and too many people receive any superfluous order and they execute. They don’t question, they don’t clarify they just go and do whatever the email says.

To this I saw, blow me and my monkey dick. Take your peanuts and keep them. Next time establish clearly what you want rather than have me winging your petition. Before getting onto the email, take your thumb out of your ass or your mouth and think, what does this person need to execute as close to expectations as possible. And next time you realize you forgot to include additional information in the petition, pull tight on that cilice so you remember to think twice before saying you need something rush and send the material incomplete.