Some people have a bit of trouble with the definition of some words, and that’s Ok. It happens.
“We need this today, Joker.”
“This has to be done in 1 hour, because the client needs this.”
“That headline needs revising.”
I have always been a staunch supporter of honesty in the workplace, because sincerely, it just makes good business. Less time is wasted, more productivity occurs and the incessant bullshit we oh so fucking hate is pushed to the side. None of the above mentioned sentences are using the word need correctly, and that is a fucking fact.
Nowadays needing more often than not means someone fucking wants something. Needing something implies that not getting the material delivered that day would give way to a cluster fuck and a series of problems that must be remedied. Tell me when was the last time a comet hit the Earth because a “deliverable” wasn’t delivered on the bullshit deadline given in the first place. If something was really needed, it wouldn’t get revised twenty times and it would get delivered that very same day with very little extra effort on the part of the people who insist that the work was needed.
In 1 hour? Really… this needs to be done in 1 hour? Cut the crap Mr. or Mrs. Chumpstain. You want things done in one hour because you’re on some fucking ego trip and need to sound as important as you make yourself out to be to your mom. It’s a job you’re doing, ok? It’s not cancer and last I checked, even trauma patients have taken longer than an hour to get medical attention and oh, there’s one more thing, this isn’t a traumatic accident and no one’s life is in danger. It’s just a fucking job.
And lastly, the only reason something needs to be revised is if there’s a misspell for a cook position in a hotel and someone replaced an O with a C. If instead you started a debate, maybe we could find a better solution, but no, since Valhalla and Olympus have bowed down to your magnanimousness, so must I.
All this happens because people confuse want with need. We need air, we want an iPad. We need to cancel an ad because the competition’s logo appears by mistake, we want to cancel something so someone can cock fence over the layout an extra day or two. We need rest we want a vacation… scratch that… in that case, need is used perfectly.
So by all means, revise this text, apply it to your life and realize that sometimes, we just need a break.