Feb 3, 2014
Feb 2, 2014
Ah yes, the beauty of accountability and people avoiding it. Brilliant people know how to best cover their asses apparently, because supervisors and VPs, AKA , the scum of middle management, are EXPERTS in covering their asses and tactfully blaming someone else.
You see, when all goes well, that’s when it stops being the team and some carefully chosen words like me, myself and I work into the communication to take the credit. By the same token, when something goes wrong, it’s the half ass accountability where they say it’s my fault but our bad.
That’s quite the cock knock and when you work at a large company, the order of the day. Accountability is this Hot Potato, or Wheel of Fortune wheel where you’re wishing for an extra spin but when you’re about to land on bankrupt, you literally switch with the person next to you.
For those not familiar with office environments, that’s exactly what happens sometimes and it also happened in advertising although not as bad as I see in my current place of employment. People seem to think that shitty things only seem to happen in ad agencies and although there are still hundreds of stories to share, I have this itch to let you know that Office Space is a reality and that shitty work environments don’t always have the luxury of allowing you to come in flips flops and check porn at work. Offices, honest, hard working, sheep filled offices are just as bad as ad agencies except you don’t have the happy hours, your cubicles don’t have decorations and the HR people don’t get as drunk.
Thing is that in advertising, back stabbing is a lot more common whereas bullshit, bureaucracy and the Accountability Hot Potato Game are the name of the game in Sheeps R Us. The worst is when someone makes as if they represent a team and are really accountable. It’s an Oscar worthy performance every time because they seriously believe they are being accountable… they’re not. They’re just using legal jargon to make you think they give a shit about the team when they don’t.
So here’s to the Hot Potato… may it burn the hands of slippery fuckwads the world round.
Posted by Joker at 9:21 AM
Dec 8, 2013
You see, when you work in a large proper company, you know, a freely traded company with a 401K you tend to see other things. Oh don’t worry, I still work advertising freelance and trust me it keeps me sane to be able to charge for revisions, and yes, even in “this economy” I charge for revisions, but that’s another post for another day. This one is about dancing and about how I’m fucking fed up with it.
Here in Corporate Dumbledouche Land there are SO many dances for your enjoyment. There’s the Revision Cha-cha, an old classic from advertising except it’s aggravated thanks to a long list of owners and opioneers hell bent on swashbuckling the shit out of your work. But on this occasion I’m doing the Monkey Dance while getting pelted by peanuts in the face for my efforts.
Ok, I get it that as professionals we should offer quality service in all that we do. We should be speedy and responsible and considerate and detail oriented. That’s all fine and dandy and fucking fantastic. But I seem to have missed the part of my job description that explicitly states I have to say yes to everything and not use my professional criteria in benefit of the task at hand. I was also unaware that asking people to do more than the bare minimum was also disallowed, but here I am, looking at a poorly written request, asking myself how hard is it to say no and ask people to be just half as professional as they claim to be. I’m here being expected to say thank you sir, can I have another revision, and another, and another, and all the while, I’m supposed to have cymbals on my hands with a little hat on.
There’s this expectation of subservience that is unsettling and too many people receive any superfluous order and they execute. They don’t question, they don’t clarify they just go and do whatever the email says.
To this I saw, blow me and my monkey dick. Take your peanuts and keep them. Next time establish clearly what you want rather than have me winging your petition. Before getting onto the email, take your thumb out of your ass or your mouth and think, what does this person need to execute as close to expectations as possible. And next time you realize you forgot to include additional information in the petition, pull tight on that cilice so you remember to think twice before saying you need something rush and send the material incomplete.
Posted by Joker at 11:07 AM
Sep 30, 2013
Although this fight was a few weeks back, I’ve been meaning to write about it for a while, I just hadn’t found the perfect chance to sit down and do so. If you’ve ever read this blog, you know I’m not a fan of Floyd Mayweather, Jr. except to express contempt. For years, I’ve believed and had good sound opinions on how he was basically given the pound for pound title on a silver platter. From sucker punch knockouts, to facing opposition that wasn’t up to his size, I’ve had an issue with Mayweather’s choice of opposition and claims to fame for close to a decade way back to his times as a Lightweight. Hell, even then I an issue with his first win over José Luis Castillo. But this post is not about the past, it’s about the present and the prospect for the future.
Two weeks ago: Floyd Mayweather Jr. left no doubt at all who is the #1 pound for pound boxer in the world.
Common knowledge states that betting against Floyd is monetary suicide. Never has that adage been more prevalent than right now. In his fight against Saúl Canelo Álvarez, Floyd made Canelo look like a chump and showed just what it means to be dominant. Footwork, handspeed, ring generalship, balance, power, precision and sweet defense went all in favor of Floyd, even if there was a judge who should be banned from boxing after her score of 114-114… that would mean it was a competitive fight, it wasn’t. Make no mistake, Canelo tried his ass off to connect against Floyd, it’s just that he’s not in the same league and as a fan of boxing I saw in Floyd’s performance what I’ve been begging for years, for him to show his skills… and that he did.
Jabs, hooks, straight rights and even the occasional uppercut, it was a treat as a boxing fan to see Floyd engage and show that he can put his words into action and walk the walk.
Truth be told, I don’t see anyone threatening Floyd’s perfect record and I just wish he would have taken more fights like this the last couple of years. His first serious contender in a long time was against Victor Ortiz, but a sucker punch finish tarnished what could have been a masterful outing. The same in his fight against Gatti where he sucker punched the late great and got a knockdown… Against Canelo, no fouls were thrown, and Floyd after the fight showed the decorum he is quite capable of… the one that is appropriate for a pound for pound champion.
For Canelo, the next step is to reestablish that getting schooled by a great boxer doesn’t mean you aren’t a champion, feed him Cotto, and let him face Alfredo Angulo, James Kirkland and if health permits it, Sergio Martínez… all good fights ready to be made.
For Floyd… the question is much more difficult. The only guys who could give him a run for his money are Sergio Martínez if his body wasn’t quitting on him, Gennady Golovkin if he could make a catch weight or the ever more doubtful Pacquiao. Sergio Martínez honestly isn’t going to happen because he can’t make a 151 lb catchweight and even if he could, injured shoulders and injured knees mean he’s at a disadvantage. Golovkin is nowhere near the money name Floyd requires and since he’s campaigning at 160, probably won’t happen either, in addition to being some psycho cyborg killer boxer most people don’t want to face. And then there’s Pacquiao… First off Manny needs to destroy Brandon Ríos in his next fight. Not beat, not outpoint but destroy. He has to put the pacifist to rest for one night and just knock Brandon the F out. Then we can talk about a matchup against Bradley, whom I hope gets KO’d by Marquez, and wouldn’t mind also getting KO’d by Manny. THEN we can talk about a fight with Floyd… and the fact remains, Floyd would KO him within 8 rounds, even if he’s a lefty, which Floyd HATES. Simply put, Floyd is bigger and he knows how to use his body better than most anyone. Simply look at him in the Alvarez fight, even outweighed by 15 pounds, it never looked as if he was outgunned… and that’s because he wasn’t. He was always in control and the only weapons Manny have for him in that fight would be a counter right hook which can be countered with a straight right and a straight left, which needs to get its pop back to factor into the equation.
So there you have it folks, Hell hath frozen over and I admit it:
Floyd Mayweather Jr. is the #1 pound for pound boxer in the world…. Now please, someone correct me by knocking him out. :)
Posted by Joker at 11:56 PM
Aug 31, 2013
After Cyrus’s recent VMA antics, the tsunami of memes, comments, support, justifications and opinions has been staggering… something I’m sure her little pretentious self adores. Fuck, look at me, I hate her and I’m writing about her… although it’s with a purpose.
Topics of discussion include the fact that Miley’s ass looked like a bowl of Jell-o that had been sitting at room temp for the better part of a day, her giraffe tongue, her haircut, her level of raunch and the fact that she could sponsor Dyson vacuum cleaners, because like the product, she has no loss of suction.
Let’s get one thing straight, I hated and deplored Miley’s performance NOT because it was “raunchy”, “saucy” or “haughty”; I hated it because it’s the actions of a little self entitled cunt who thinks she deserves the world, considers herself a trendsetter, does things exclusively for attention and is just overall a shell of a person, clinging on to anything just to say she has a personality. I did not hate the performance because of her body, her clothing or even the shitty content, it’s her Splenda attitude that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I make this clarification because I have NO problem whatsoever with a woman being sexy, a woman feeling empowered or even a young woman demonstrating her sexual prowess. I do have a problem with Miley, her sense of entitlement and the fact she’s a little brat who promotes shitty values to young women who look up to her.
To make it abundantly clear, I’m going to go on a limb and recommend four women who are better role models than Miley Cyrus: Nina Hartley, Sasha Grey, Kay Parker and Penny Flame. What do those four names have in common? A couple of things: They are people whom I respect as women and professionals, who are true to themselves and show a degree of maturity scarce in an ample part of the population. Oh, and they all are or were porn stars.
That’s right, four women who performed in the adult industry have my vote as a better role model than Miley Cyrus and before you judge, hear me out.
Let’s start with Nina Hartley. A performer for somewhere around 30 years, I won’t go into the details of her illustrious porn career. Instead I’ll focus on the fact that she’s 54 and still performing, a woman who has embraced her sexuality and who is a certified sex educator. She has always been clear that porn sex is not real sex and never recommends pornography as an educational source, but as an erotic source to get inspired with your partner. Nina has always been very open and allowed herself to be put into countless situations where she’s surrounded by men and women who want to burn her at the sake all for the sake of advocating for sexual liberation in women. THAT’S someone I can and do respect.
Sasha Grey is a former adult performer who has crossed into Hollywood for real, appearing in Steven Soderbergh’s The Girlfriend Experience, other film credits and, oh yeah, she was on HBO’s Entourage. Add to that that she actually went to the View to defend her life choices and you see this isn’t your typical bimbo who takes a load on the face. She is intelligent, acutely aware of her decisions and following her own path, while maintaining her commitment to social values she supports, namely education. I mention that last bit because she had volunteered to do a reading for children to promote education and that was a controversy… nonetheless, her response was that she volunteered because she believed in the cause, was not opposed to parents and their feelings, thought everyone should had been informed of her participation and nonetheless supports education. THAT’S someone I can and do respect.
To many men from Generation X, Kay Parker signaled their passage to manhood thanks to the vintage porn series called Taboo. On film, things could get so hot, she actually chipped a tooth once. Later on she retired from the industry and is currently a metaphysical counselor and lecturer who is dedicated to connecting to people and achieving a higher purpose… oh and she doesn’t have issues with her past. She honestly and openly talks about her experience and how people were confused by her because she would perform and later be reserved and borderline prudish. She could make the distinction between work and play, looked to truly connect and tap into something primal in our sexuality and later walked away, with no problem whatsoever. THAT’S someone I can and do respect.
Last on this list is Penny Flame AKA Jennifer Ketcham. A former adult star, what began as a publicity stunt when she checked into a sexual addiction rehabilitation center turned into revelation, she stuck to it and has handled demons that tortured her to become Jennie. A wonderfully inspired and brutally honest blogger, Jennie quit the business, recognized she had a problem and works hard to become who she is. A blogger, a painter and someone who forfeited easy money she could still be earning from pornography to make a legit living. THAT’S someone I can and do respect.
Each of these four women have bared it all and shown a level of onscreen passion that is truly raunchy and damn near feral. They are women who are sincere to whom they are as women. They accept their past and offer up a true example of what a real woman could be. It’s not that I’m telling the daughters of the world should line up to enroll in the adult industry, it’s that when you look past the sex, there are women with substance, with something to say, something to teach and something to share.
Miley Cyrus is just a spoiled little bitch with the worst kind of attention deficit disorder, because she wants all the attention to herself and that everything she does has to be touted as epic… that’s someone I CANNOT, WILL NOT AND DO NOT respect.
Posted by Joker at 8:07 AM
Jul 24, 2013
Last night I had a dream where I was the sole Latino in a sea of black people. Some people might be terrified at the prospect… I had a blast. I spoke to a lot of them, partied until 7:00 a.m. (first time I’ve seen time told in a dream) and woke up feeling refreshed and happy.
This obviously means I am not a citizen of the great state of Florida.
I’m not sure if this is Florida’s attempt at settling the score for the OJ trial, but that not even the charge of manslaughter made it through seems as if people don’t understand the concept of the term. Manslaughter, in its definition is defined as the unlawful killing of a human being without malice aforethought. Homicide is even more general: the killing of a human being by another.
The only fact we know for sure is that a kid is dead because someone shot him. That someone has admitted he shot the gun, even if he alleged it was in self defense. Yet he wasn’t even found guilty of killing the other party… somehow the logic in this is lost on me.
Regardless of what happened, and the lesions on George Zimmerman’s body indicate that something did in fact happen (bloody nose and two lacerations on the back of his head), the fact remains. Someone died because someone else had a gun, had possibly watched a couple too many movies with Steven Segal in them, and pulled the trigger after being told by authorities to just walk away.
But no… it was an “unfortunate accident” so let’s go on with our lives. Now we have the country on the brink of a second Civil War except this time it won’t be the North vs. the South, but white versus black.
There’s something broken in the world and here’s a newsflash, it won’t be fixed with guns and bullets.
Posted by Joker at 8:57 AM