Dear Mr. West:
Here at Why Advertising Sucks (WAS) we pride ourselves in offering a wide variety of entertainment to anyone that happens to chance upon this little blog that could. From the wide variety of reasons we hate advertising, to good and bad adverts, to boxing, to fictional women that prompted us to masturbate as hormonally dishevelled tweens, and of course, cock fingering, we try to cover all bases and offer our candid opinion about pretty much anything we come across. In recent times we have been fortunate enough to have you in the media to offer creative fodder so we have writing material. On behalf of the WAS family and all readers, we'd like to genuinely thank you from the bottom of our hearts. For being such a douche that you make R Kelly look humble. For saying things in public that promote racial bias and rivalry instead of communication. For being a self centered prick who is so self important that the fact that Sean Combs (otherwise known by his prefferred moniquer of the month) paying a guy to hold an umbrella for him looks tame in comparison. We also thank you for thinking you are the voice of a generation.
Just to clarify, Pepsi already used that line and they would sue if they didn't think that your endorsement would sell more cola to bloated diabetic eight year olds. In addition, we would like to thank you for thinking you come anywhere near to the significance of artists like Jay-Z, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Biggy, NAS, Tupac or any of a wide variety of artists. I'm sure they get a kick out of it when they send you a new cardigan for Christmas. Upon further review, the accolades for doucheness continue and I'd like to thank you on behalf of Spike Lee for thinking your contributions to the black community surpass his. It seems that no matter how far you stray from the path, there is always some new low for you to proclaim your greatness.
As for your acts during the already laughable VMA's, thank you for showing the caliber of professional, peer and ego maniac that you are. I'm sure we all agree that Taylor Swift is undeserving of any award and we are truly blessed to have the guiding light of the West wind to suck the life out of Ms. Swift's sails and blow it onto wherever you deem appropriate. That we've spent so much time dedicated on you on this blog is truly a treat and we just want to let you know that for however long we live and for however long this blog lasts, we'll be with you every step of the way to offer the unbiased opinion who can empirically prove just exactly WHY you suck.
Cheers Mr. West, knowing your affinity for making a fool out of yourself, I have no doubt that if anyone tweets about this post, we'll be hearing from your lawyers.
With the kindest regards, and the warmest of sympathies from people who have taste, and desist from purchasing your music.
AVP Why Advertising Sucks Co.