Dec 11, 2009

An Open Letter to Alec Baldwin: Five Reasons not to Quit Acting that define Me.

I heard through the grapevine... ok so I read in the internet that Alec Baldwin is planning to quit acting. Yeah. That sucks for me. Alec Baldwin is, to me, one of my greatest crushes of all time. Yes... at one time, before George Clooney took the throne of The Greatest Dude to Bang of all Time in my book, there was Alec Baldwin. Yes. I like dark hair. I like manly. I like Alec. But this post is not just about how bangable this human being is - still. This is an open letter to Alec. I need to give him five good reasons why he doesn't need to quit acting... yet.

So... Alec? You there? Hey man. Look. I know you might be tired. I get it. But please, for the love of something holy. Consider giving us a few years more. Oh? Don't have good reasons? By all means, I'll give you five!

In no particular order...

1) You sir, can act the shit out of movies.
Glengarry Glen Ross. Lord Yes. The Departed? Jesus, you can be my boss anyday. Prelude to a Kiss. I cannot watch you cry, it's so painful. Malice? You're the worst doctor ever. Long live God complexes.

2) You're Effin Hot.
Um. Sorry man. I just had to get that in there. You were extremely doable when you were younger and damn it, time passed by and you just got even more sexier. Like wine, you are, dear sir.

3) This might sting a bit, but I'm just going to lay it there: You are the most talented Brother.
OOOh. Sorry man. I went there. Yeah. I said it! You are Alec, King of Baldwins. Granted, Stephen kicked some ass in Usual Suspects but... come on man. You rule over all brothers. Oh and by the way. Kick William for starring at Sliver. I already kicked myself for having watched it.

4) I honestly think that the best is yet to come.
Like any good thing in life, you get better with age. Your Oscar worthy role is coming. I just know it.

5) You are so Hot.
Oh damn. I did mention this already. But did I mention I would gladly have your baby?

There you go, Alec. Please stay with us. We are not done. We need you. Ok. Maybe not all people in the world. Maybe just Me and some other chicks. But we count! Don't we?

Me love you long time. I have healthy ovaries. Um. Yeah. Just had to put that in there...


RestrictionsApply said...

6.) "30 Rock" wouldn't be the same without you.

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