Apr 25, 2011

The Joy of Feeling Tired.

Sometimes you don't realize how often you see the glass half empty, instead of half full. Case in point: it's sometimes very good to feel extremely tired. The kind of tired when your body hurts, when you really are trying not to cry from frustration, the kind that makes you sick, that makes you not sleep, worry for days and days. The tired that makes you a true total asshole, that makes you not laugh at anything and makes you crave that hit of alcohol like a drug.

I do have a point. Stay with me.

For the past two weeks, I've been sort of MIA because of a shitload of work. Not only have I been working non stop - and I really mean without one single weekend or even seeing the light of day for exactly fourteen days - I have to add that I had to endure the worry that normal ad people don't have to think about: corporate taxes, the office budget, making sure our clients' campaigns were done on time, the payroll... it can go on and on.

Even when I came home, I had almost no time to take a nice time to write or do something beside collapse on my sofa. Then... it got even more interesting: the last week, I had extreme insomnia. That meant that even when I felt so tired, I got to bed and didn't go to sleep. I even tried sleeping pills to no avail. My body just gave me a huge "Fuck you" and made me suffer even more. I'm telling you, it was no picnic.

Suddenly I get to finally finish all my things and had the pleasure of enjoying my first weekend all to myself... and here comes food for post.

Man... Have you ever truly enjoyed your time off? Have you ever noticed how amazing it is not to have to think about work, how you don't need to worry because for at least 48 hours, you are covered in the "biz" department? Trust me, it feels incredible.

You start to notice normal things. A sunny day. A nice moment of silence at home. Your remote control clicking away while you really don't think about what you are doing. A nice and very cold glass of white wine. Feeling sleepy at three o'clock in the afternoon. Deciding if you eat in or out on a Saturday night. You get to read that book you've been meaning to, or at least move along some decent chapters.

You feel your body recover. It's slow at first. For me, it started with long hours of sleep. I thought that my body was giving me permission to enjoy it - or maybe it was holding me back so I could go all out and sleep like I've never done before. Then all the aches went away... it truly is very weird to look at yourself just getting back to normal.

I think sometimes we take so much for granted... or maybe we just don't realize how little mundane things have so much meaning. Maybe the next time I feel so tired I have to think about how good it felt to finish, it will be easier to remind me that I need to hang on for a little bit more time.

Try it one day. You'll see what I'm talking about.

Much love from the very rested Me.


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