I'd like to start off by saying that, at least for me, it's really impossible to do that. To be able to scratch my balls, I would need testicles. And no, I'm not a tranny, I'm a chick. A dudette that works in advertising, has a few accounts and decides how to divide her time and her jobs. So for fuck's sake, oh dear Client X, give me at least some respect and don't call me up like I am dog, waiting for you to call my next trick.
Inspired by a very cool Dustin Hoffman character: I'm working here! I'M WORKING HERE!
Do they storm in their doctor's office and demand that they get treated right away if it's not a real emergency? No, right? Hey, you! You're not bleeding through your anus, so it's ok if you can wait a couple of minutes - or day I say hours - for a decent time with him. So why would you call me up, at 8pm and give me grief about some posters that YOU WILL NOT send to the printers any day soon?
I find it so extremely disturbing that there are some clients out there who think they are the only reason the sun and moon exist. Instead of being decent and allowing us to work - on their projects and on others, they just want their shit now. Not soon, now. And when you make a mistake, or you fuck up a design, instead of acknowledging that they gave you so little time to do your job, they just give you more grief.
I would really love it if this shit happens on other more "respected" careers, really! Do you hurry up a lawyer, more so if it means that you would live the rest of your days behind bars and getting your salad tossed by a man named Big Todd? No, dammit! You pray that he studies your case, you wish and call up all the gods so that he or she has a moment of brilliance that can get you called that magic word called innocent. So why can't we decide how many days a job needs to be worked over?
I'd LOVE it if people could see how much hours it takes to do a decent ad, the DAYS it takes to make a presentation, the extremely long hours you have to endure beside a computer, or just doodling in a white paper until you get that big idea. This job is fucking hard! You think and you think some more! And you have a deadline - which of course, you cannot change ever. So add stress to the mix, and you just watch that idea get farther and farther away from you.
And right when you get your groove, when you start to feel the ideas popping in your brain, a douche calls you up and starts being a total asshole for something that you know does not deserve this much attention.
These are the days that I really want to quit. The day when I really wonder if someday I will crack, lose it completely and call every single person who pisses me off and call them on their bullshit. I used to wonder how it would be if I did it to my last creative director. I pictured it in my mind, me going in the office and start screaming at the top of my lungs...
Look. If you are a client of some agency and you are reading this (and yeah, there is a God, sure), you HAVE to know that by being a total dickwad, YOU are shitting on your own advertising. By being respectful, by being cool to your creatives down at your agency, you get rewarded of getting a lot of people who really want to work on your account. Do you know that the cool accounts, at many ad agencies, are being fought over in the creative departments? The cool clients with cool attitudes are the treasure that a really good creative will backstab to get. And the assholes, the rush-lovers, the buttmunchers who give idiotic deadlines and moronic changes - those are the accounts that keep getting passed around, from poor soul to the other.
Now. What type of client do you want to be?
Dammit.
Me.
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