I’m tired of always saying yes

Unlike sex where screaming out this almighty token of approval spurs you on to give the best in your pelvic prowess, advertising and corporate communications always insist on being positive and assertive and I can’t help but think it’s just a bit too much. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, then think of the last time a headline or bodycopy had a negative word (no, never, nothing, unlike, etc.) and it got turned around with the request to be rephrased so it were positive.

An age old corporate opinion is that your communication should never have any type of negative connotation whatsoever. It’s a very P&G thing and something that’s embedded into the psyche of middle management and marketing grunts around the world. I can see the merit in occasionally thinking in a more positive light or of using your spinster skills to make any copy into a shining beacon of positivity, but always? Not one exception? There’s no way a no can sneak into an ad? Horse shit.

This is the first time in a long while I’m venting realtime on the job about the job. Lately I had been able to hold it in until I got home to process it. But I don’t want to hold it in. I want to vomit my frustration on corporate bureaucracy that does nothing except insist on wasting my time, just so I can adjust the copy for it to be positive. To sum it up, I just took a piece of shit radio script that made NO sense whatsoever and translated it into a coherent thought. Whereas before you didn’t know what the fuck they were talking about, now you understand and you can even relate… but there’s one catch. I used the word never. The reaction from my department director was classic. A bit more and I would have probably been flogged. Somehow I suspect a repeat offense would have won me a trip to the stake while wearing a kerosene aftershave. That’s the vibe I get from the email, from the request to yet again fix something that doesn’t work in a campaign where there are already 3 executions… but they need that fourth useless turd of a script to be approved by me.

Well let me be the first to say this to you…. NO. NO I do not agree with you. NO I do not think this ad is worth our time and money. NO I do not appreciate you ignoring my recommendations for the fiftieth time in a week and NO I do not respect you as a professional because I’m still waiting to be shown exactly why you deserve the hierarchical slot you’ve attained… I am not a yes man. I am not an anything you say man. I’m a professional. I have an opinion and my anger is a result of my opinion clashing with reality because I’m not subservient and I don’t want to be blamed for something that sucks donkey cock.

So kindly, revise as you see fit and allow me to leave at my regularly assigned hour.

Cheers