Tell me if you've heard this one...

Cliches... how sweet you are!
We as a society have come to accept - and even embrace- the cultural of a good cliche. In movies, for example, we just gotta have the Hollywood Ending: guy gets the girl as stuff blows up in the background. In pop music, the cliche is there too: guest rapper "sings" a few bars to give white girl tart some street cred. And of course, in advertising, cliches are just a way of life. Please tell me if you've heard these before (or add your own to the list!):

1 - "That's awesome! But you know what I would do?"
This is often said by account executives (AEs) who are looking for a polite way of rejecting your work. Actually, this is more of a euphimism than a cliche. The funny thing is that when they hand you the brief, they have no input for you to work from. However, once you come up with something, all of a sudden they have "constructive criticism" to offer. Whatever, beeyotch!

2 - "My client is such a dick"
AEs use this to soften you up before sticking you with a grusome job at 6:05pm. They say this to create some type of sympathy with you, so that the underlying message is "We are on the same team and we are about to be screwed by the client. I feel your pain." HOWEVER, what they fail to mention is that once they slap the job jacket on your desk, they're going home. You, my friend, are in for a long night.

3 - "I don't know, YOU'RE the creative one"
Again, AEs use this to get on your good side. This often comes up when you have a question because the job jacket doesn't contain all the information it should have. They think that because you are creative, you can magically fill in the blanks and produce work that's write on target. When there is no concept, nothing on paper, it's your responsibility to make things happen. But once you do create something, get ready to hear Cliche #1 (see above).

4 - "Oh man, I need a big favor from you"
Dude, I'm here to work, not do favors. Getting this campaign done IS NOT a personal favor to you... it's my job. Don't disguise it by pretending like you and I are in cahoots and doing something underground to get ahead. If you're going to stick it to me, at least use Cliche #2 (see above) and give me a back rub.

5 - "But will it get you a Lion"
Creative Directors whom have had absolutely no participation in the creative process often say this when presented with new ideas. They throw strategy, marketing and reason out the window and ask this silly question. Not only have we had to endure the criticism and restrictions from the AEs, producers (do they still exist?) and clients, but now we have to put up with crap like this? No, it won't get me a Lion, but it'll get me a paycheck at the end of the month.

6 - "Let's show some client service"
Listen bro - let me show you client service:
- Face your desk
- While facing your desk, take three steps back
- Spread your legs shoulder-width apart
- Standing where you are, place your hands on the desk.
- Now, squeel like a pig
THAT's client service.