Let’s face it; odds are if you work in advertising, you’ll end up dating people from this same industry we so enthusiastically despise. But what happens when opposing poles clash, it can lend to some pretty interesting situations. For instance:
Copywriter going out with an account exec.
COPY: I never know exactly what you want and there’s always some last minute surprise.
EXEC: Shut up, you’re so whiny. You should see the shit I have to put with.
COPY: Put up with.
EXEC: Stop that!
COPY: Stop what?
EXEC: Correcting me. It’s not like you ever truly know what to say. Thirty seconds, sixty seconds, what’s the difference?
COPY: It makes all the difference.
EXEC: Oh really? How so?
COPY: It’s the difference between what you last on Mondays and what you last on Saturdays.
EXEC: Ho ho. Very funny.
COPY: No. You’re the ho and the only funny thing is that piece of vomit-cloth you insist on calling a tie.
EXEC: I hate you.
COPY: I hate you more.
EXEC: Let’s fuck.
COPY: Ok.
That could be one scenario. How bout this one?
Traffic person going out with Graphic Artist.
TRAF: We need to do this rush.
ART: You’re not an exec, chill out.
TRAF: But it has to get done now.
ART: So you want me to stop all I’m doing to do something you’re not even sure you need. Can’t we give it some time to do things right?
TRAF: No. I need it now and it can’t wait.
ART: What size is it?
TRAF: I don’t know, does it really matter.
ART: Of course it matters. If I don’t know your size I don’t know how to make it fit.
TRAF: I think it’s 6 x 10.
ART: Are you sure?
TRAF: No, just get on it.
ART: Do you have a budget?
TRAF: Not really.
ART: So you want me to do something you don’t even know if you want, you don’t know the size and you don’t have a budget, and you insist on sex. Great…
Sounds pretty accurate. How bout this one?
IT guy going out with a copywriter.
SFX: Telephone rings.
COPY: hello?
IT: Hi.
COPY: Who’s this?
IT: It’s Jerry.
COPY: Oh… (awkward silence) hi.
IT: I’m watching you.
COPY: What? What do you mean?
IT: you’ve been a very naughty girl.
COPY: WTF? You psycho, leave me alone.
IT: I like your feet.
COPY: Ewwww.. oh my God. What the hell is wrong with you?
IT: I like your feet after a hard day at work. I love that musk.
COPY: Seriously fuck off and don’t call me again.
IT: Come over and play with my joystick.
CLICKKKKKKK
Eessh… That didn’t really work. But wait…
Media Person going out with an account exec.
EXEC: I need something fresh and new. Something we’ve never seen. I want the world to see this and go wow, now there’s something you don’t see every day. I want to do something big.
MEDIA: Ok how bout this or that.
EXEC: Ohhh… but that’s too expensive.
MEDIA: Well you wanted something different. You never said anything about cheap.
EXEC: And I’m not sure it works. It’s too bold too big.
MEDIA: But didn’t you want something big and bold and to make a difference.
EXEC: Maybe we can leave this for later. For now let’s just do what’s always worked.
MEDIA: …………
EXEC: Hello?
MEDIA: Yeah…..
EXEC: So what do you think?
SFX: bottle opens
EXEC: you still there.
SFX: something pouring into glass.
MEDIA: Yeah.
EXEC: So what do you think?
MEDIA: (Whispered): Hello Mr. Happy Vodka.
EXEC: What?
MEDIA: Oh nothing…
But I think the one that could work the best would be…
Account exec going out with client.
CLIENT: I see big things for us. You and me to the end of the world. It’s just something about you that I trust. And no, don’t worry I might have been with another person two months ago but this will last. Hell you give me all I ask for, when I ask for it no matter how stupid a request it may be. No matter if there are seventy thousand stupid revisions that do nothing for my ad. You do them, because you’re emotionally invested. Ahh… I tell you. There are big things for us. Don’t you think?
SFX: Loud slurping sounds with a pop at the end.
EXEC: Mmm hmmm. Whatever you say because I know you respect me.
CLIENT: You’re totally right… now keep sucking.
So there’s my verdict. I don’t think most people can interdepartmentally go out. What do you think?
8 comments:
SO funny yet so true
To Joker's girlfriend: sorry.
To Joker: Marry me.
To Both: Just kidding.
Brilliant!!!!!!!
*tears on my eyes* Oh......my .....God...I...can...stop. ..laughing.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I know. This one deserves to be framed.
brilliant again ME!
Nooo. It is Joker time, tryanotherusername... I only wish I was that brilliant. Or young, for that matter.
Oh. Me so oldy.
My sincerest apologies Joker. Quite a faux pas. Well done again.
many thank yous, and no apologies necessary. Glad it was enjoyed by many people. hell seeing it's friggin tax season merits something quite out there.
to me: thanks for all the kind words, like you needed a reminder, you rule.
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