• Coca-Cola, It’s totally worth the kidney stones.
• Durex, you know you want to cum inside.
• Budweiser, from saintly to slutty in just four beers.
• Everlast, because you know hitchhikers always get killed in scary movies.
• Marlboro, it might kill you but what are you going to do after sex? Eat tofu?
• Krispy Kreme, the new answer to PMS.
• Burger King, what Nicole Ritchie is missing out on.
• Mac & Cheese, easier to do than Paris Hilton
• Ford F-150, compensate for a small penis the manly way
• Tic-Tac, because some people smell like they gave a camel a rim job
• Taco Bell, a high colonic in a hard or soft shell.
• Tom tom, only a product named like a man would never have to ask for directions
• Johnnie Walker, because sometimes you need to cope with not getting a blowjob
• Cuervo Gold, making hoes out of catholic school girls for over a century
• Ruth Chris’ Steakhouse, because sometimes you can’t help but want to be stuffed with meat.
• Broken windshield, chemical warfare, hostage situation? Count on the brand you can trust, Duct Tape
• Samuel Adams, because on the 7th day, God wanted a real beer.
• Johnson and Johnson Baby oil, because if you get a hand job, you want it done right.
• Sony, coming up with more shit to spend your check on.
• PS3, bathing has ceased to be a priority.
• Clamato, part of a well balanced hangover.
• Coach, for the financially endowed yet fashionably unsound.
• TiVo, sorry guys, no excuse to not fuck on Sunday anymore.
• K-Y Jelly, oh yes it fits.
And..
• Why Advertising Sucks, Agency subterfuge for the professional satisfaction impaired.
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