Dec 19, 2007

Judgment Call #125,026 If a relationship didn’t work the first time… come on say it with me

It won’t work the second, third or fourth time. Yes, say it. Repeat it. Believe it and keep yourself from living it. In this world chock full of people who have a tough existence because of famine, poverty, oppression, and even slavery, it’s ungodly to think people insist on being miserable and putting themselves in harms way when they could avoid the hassle by dismissing cunts and assholes that work best to make them miserable.

I have a friend, a very nice friend who insists on not paying attention to what they lived not so long ago and leaving the cage door open so their sweet canary can fly back in to the coop and pretty much cover every single inch of their existence in shit. I could rant about this specific case but rather than but this person on the spot, lets just take the situation at large and see why I’m making a judgment call.

Ok Situation 1. A guy likes a girl, like I mean really likes her. She’s willing but not totally interested. There’s alcohol involved and two things happen… one person has the most intense spiritual revelation through physical communion thanks to a night of making love…the other person got their rocks off, took a shower and didn’t bother to give a callback. What ensues is a relationship of convenience where said girl uses the guy for transportation and to hook up with some other willing males, sometimes of the same social group, even while still dating. One day she gets fed up, dumps him and he’s distraught, destroyed and consumed by the endless array of doubts and questions as to why oh god why did this happen to him. She doesn’t lose one wink of sleep or miss a beat in her step while he goes through the whole process of looking like a guy who got date raped at the Blue Oyster (tango included). Months go by, he survives on pizza, Ramen and beer, she survives on other men she destroys. More months go by and one day when she’s bored, she notices that she misses the details of this guy she once destroyed and she calls him. He thanks the lord, Vishnu, Buddha and even Ron Popeille whom he prays to at 4 AM every time he’s drunk and crying over her. They get back together, he’s as psychotically in love as the first time, she quickly loses interest and dumps his ass a second time. What a surprise.

Situation #2. This girl knows this guy. She swears no one takes interest in her and to be quite frank, she’s the type of girl that loves assholes and people that hurt her. You know the type, nice girls that seem smart in every aspect except when it comes to being tasteful when referring to men she will spread eagle for. She’s lonely, he’s there, he’s horny, she’s in love. They make love in the back of cars or wherever it’s convenient and he can pretty much talk her into anything because “he loves her baby”. By the way, the dumber and cruder the guy, the better. Because a man without tact taking interest in you is just what every woman needs AND wants. So nine months of an awkward relationship go by, they’re not officially bf and gf because when someone asks him, he says, this is my friend… Nice touch. She just insists he doesn’t want titles because their love is so pure that there is no need to commit and tell people you’re going out right? So he one days get issues and iffy and doesn’t know exactly what to do. He’s confused…….. Classic. Might I be so bold as to clarify the word confused in this specific context? Confused as defined by would mean : “ perplex or bewilder: 2. to make unclear or indistinct. 3. to fail to distinguish between. 4. to disconcert or abash. Reading this definition it’s more than clear this guy isn’t confused. He’s not even mildly baffled. He’s bored with the same pussy and for juvenile entertainment and 31 flavor salutes, he needs to fuck some skanky whores, because hey, no matter how healthy you eat, sometimes you get a Mac Attack. He goes and frolics in the bush knocking down hoes left and right until it once again becomes convenient to get back with our self-hating sweet girl. Might I clear up the weight she’s lost because of not being able to eat because she was too depressed because her guy dumped her. Apart from this it should also be noted that pieces have been carefully placed so as to take advantage of every weakness she’s ever exhibited so as to come like some illogical knight in dulled armor to her rescue from… well him. What will happen? Betting odds are 7 to 1 that he’ll get bored again, toss her to the side or get her pregnant. Yet the nice girl insists that he’s changed…………………. They say ignorance is bliss. If so, she’s in hog heaven.

Situation Numero 3. Guy works at agency. Girl works at agency. Guy meets girl. Girl likes guy. Guy wants to shag girl. Happy hour. The rest is fucking history although we can fast forward to the breakup, the awkward situation and the fact that either guy, girl or both will probably go out with someone they work with because they love to eat where they crap. Truth be told, I've seen it work, but it takes effort and focus. No reason things shouldn't go smoothly, you just need to know your boundaries and know when to switch shit on and off.

Like this trilogy, there are endless types of people that insist on taking on the odds when they know exactly what can happen because it’s already happened to them. People often say, oh if I had a second chance, things would be different. Sadly, this is bullshit at its most coarse since people demonstrate daily that they will commit the same mistakes over and over again rather than thinking of their best interests, cutting their losses and letting go of unworthwhile situations. But no… they’re like some Raging Bull insisting they didn’t hear no bell when both eyes are closed shut from the repeated beatings they’ve taken. Ignorance is bliss? Then I’d rather misery.


Me said...

Well... um... too close to home, hahaha.

All I can say is this. I can name 20 women right now that have been fucked over many times over and I have yet to meet more than 1 guy who has "suffered". Maybe it's the fact that you men don't say shit when you suffer... who knows.

I agree on the no more second shots. If you fucked it up, you will again. It is in people's nature how to act, period. You might tweak some points, but the nasty, ugly shit comes the exact same way, no matter what.

On shitting where I eat? All I can say is that I have had my plate and even had dessert. It's all about what you want out of it and how well you divide work and hot horny sex. But it's like pâté. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone.

Thinking In Vain said...

I second the too close to home, especially this morning.

That last paragraph gave me a kick in the head like I needed though.

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