Oct 17, 2008

I love phat women

If I had a nickel for every time I heard a woman say she was ugly or fat, you’d be alarmed at the rate the national debt would be erased and a surplus would be born. Why do I bring this up? Me’s recent post has prompted me to give a male perspective on this situation. Just in case you needed a reminder ladies, for every time you’ve thought you look fat, there’s a man that thinks you are gorgeous, delicious or at the very least (and at the risk of sounding crass) fuckable.

That’s right, your humongous cellulite ridden paunch or ass are probably self-fabricated or probably not as bad as you think them to be. We can blame fashion, advertising, the media, movies, men, trends or whatever but at the end of the day, this is a problem suffered on an individual spectrum where self perception reaches lows that honestly worry me with a lot of my female friends.

You see, though I’ve never been anorexic or bulimic, I’ve never thought of myself as ultra hot shit, but I’ve never gotten to the point of over exercising, starving or resorting to surgery, three things I know plenty of women who are only too ready to resort to. Atrocious diets, iron man exercise regimens, lipo, etc. I see so many beautiful and smart women who are scarred from experiences in their youth. I’ve seen women with playboy worthy breast, reduce them because they had a big-tit complex from a comment Jimmy Fuckface said in the tenth grade or women who have perfectly fine breasts get implants just to feel better about themselves, have more confidence or be more comfortable with how their bodies look.

I guess it’s lucky for men that most penises are ugly and or similar and that we don’t compare our cocks to the next guy’s or else cock extensions and implants would be at an all time high… what am I saying? There are cock growth pills and creams galore but the problem is not even remotely as bad as with women and it’s mainly because I think a lot of guys don’t give a shit or we tend to be more sloth-inclined than women. Statistically speaking though, men are also outnumbered by women and lets not get into the whole gay men percentage, so it’s not surprising if a guy’s mindframe is that they don’t really have to be a total package for women ie. brains, looks and the sense of humor you gals so often say is the main reason you like a guy. On the other hand, most women I know want to be content with how they are but fail, instead wanting to be the hottest, smartest woman in the world, instead of loving themselves the way they are.

What women fail to realize though is that more often than not, they are at least 3 times as beautiful as they feel, which isn’t saying much with how some women I know feel about themselves. By the way, I say 3 just to use an empty number since there are women I know who are super model material and feel like gutter whores. They focus on their weight and the size of their pants rather than how they feel and more importantly, and the reason why I think most diets don’t work, they want to lose weight for aesthetic purposes a hell of a lot more than to be healthier. If your main goal is to look good in a dress for a wedding in three months, what does that say about how you feel about yourself and the goals you set for yourself?

True, I’m way out of line because I’m not female, but I listen and I can’t help but sadly cringe in frustration at how many women I know that don’t love themselves.

“My tits are too big or too small. My ass is huge or I have no ass. My belly, my arms, my chin, my eyes, my wrinkles, my hair.”

There’s always something they aren’t totally satisfied with and though I’m not saying you should not take care of your appearance, I just wish women would give themselves a little more credit than they do. Seriously, look in the mirror and look at who you are. Not who you are versus a superstar, or a pornstar, or anyone. Just look at yourself and try and see what we see.

So where does the blame lie? It could be society at large or men and how they treat women, by this referring mainly to the objectification of women as fancy props for more efficient masturbatory purposes. I’m not going to sugar coat this, pretty much every man you’ve ever known has at one moment or another, looked at a woman with the mindset of just getting off. This could be a standard mindframe or drug induced, but it can, does and will continue to happen. Then again, it’s not like I haven’t seen women saying they’d love to get their freak on with some random guy and never see them again, it’s a fantasy I’ve heard of more than once. But what I’m getting at is that men are quite superficial at times and Mr. Cock has way more to opine than should be the case, you just really shouldn’t pay attention to all he says.

The bottom line though is that many women have self perception issues because of events that have happened in their lives and speaking for myself, as a guy it’s infuriating and frustrating because I see how it prompts women to believe that there’s something in them that they have to fix. They’re not perfect and that just can’t be. All I can say in regards to that is to say “Fuck it”.

Honestly, though it’s a lot to ask for everyone to be completely happy with the way they are, I don’t think it’s too much to ask to not hate yourself as much as you do. Some people might say that they don’t hate themselves but I beg to differ simply because of the rate of anorexia in women of all ages.

I see Me’s post and honestly feel relief because she’s a hell of a lot prettier than she gives herself credit for. But we’ve talked a few times and I can see where she comes from and constantly insist on her to love her rump and disregard pig comments and I sincerely wish most women would do so because what some assholes say is anything but Kosher.

There’s a famous epithet stating “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. If anything I would like to do with said phrase and most of the women of this world is to offer them a mirror, have them look at themselves and whisper one word in their ear.



RestrictionsApply said...

As always, an excellent post.
This is a vicious cycle that simply has no end. And as for it being a delicate subject, well, that’s what makes it fun. We’ve discussed this before on numerous occasions, and the beauty of it is that we’ve agreed to disagree.

There are so many factors at play here: self-esteem issues, peer pressure; repressed anger; past experiences; weak moral fiber; a taste for chocolate; vice and addiction (yep, some people are addicted to dieting and working out)… The thing is, there is no magical answer.

In her post, Me pointed something out that I’ve never heard before: The challenge to see how low you can go. And that’s cool, but when does it stop? When is the game over? At what point do you determine that the challenge has been met, that you’ve conquered “it”? And, if you’ve made huge sacrifices to get into a size whatever, how will you feel when you bounce back. Will you feel failure? Even highly trained pro sprinters can’t run sub 10-second hundred-meter dashes night after night. What is your status quo and will you be happy with that?

These questions are not directed at Me, but to all people who have fallen into this trap. Yes, I said “trap”. And here is the essence of this comment:

Diet is big business. It’s an entire industry. Just like cigarette companies prey on people’s vulnerability, the diet and “health” industries prey on our insecurities. For almost thirty years now we’ve been told that you can only be happy if you can fit into a size whatever. Guys can only get laid if they have ripped abs. A fulfilling life can only be had if you’re tight and skinny.

Of course, these companies know that many people aren’t able to stick with it, which is why you pay good money for a six week program yet break the diet after nine days. My fattest friends have done it all (and dropped major bucks), yet remain fat. Jenny Craig, Atkins, Weight Watchers, L.A. Weight Loss, etc. Most people I know have a Stairmaster, a Bowflex or a treadmill stashed in some room collecting cobwebs. THAT IS THE BUSINESS. Make them feel bad about themselves. Promise them the hope of happiness. Then sell them crap that YOU KNOW they won’t be able to keep up with. The sense of failure makes them feel worse, which in turn will make them try again.

At my office, we are two guys and 15 women. Every Monday morning the women come in bragging about how they’re gonna start a diet. By Wednesday they’ve downed three dozen Krispy Kremes. Like I said, a vicious cycle.

I bring this up as simply another factor in the collection of variables that contributes to this phenomenon. Like I said in the 2nd paragraph of this comment, there is no answer. The happiest people I’ve met in my lifetime are the ones who’ve accepted who they are, the way they are.

Me said...

Well my friend, sometimes the sheer pleasure of losing becomes a drug. You get a high, I kid you not, when you see the pounds go away.

When I was at my lowest and my most unhealthy, I didn't have enough fat on my butt, so that when I sat down on the floor, it hurt 'cause of the bones (coxis?). Right then and there I realized that I had gone too far.

The thing is, at least for me I can gain a few pounds and not kill myself. In fact, I let them in, let them stay for a while but then... they have to leave. I don't feel bad about them, but I know that if I don't do something, more and more pounds will come - not good at all.

RestrictionsApply said...

But I still love you...

Lucila said...

When you are a woman that 20 pounds less doesn't really make a dent on your body because you need to lose more than that, really pisses me off when someone really skinny is complaining about imaginary fat. When the girl is kinda chunky I just like to tell her not to rush to lose weight but don't get heavier, like I did.

I was the eternal chunky girl, not skinny not fat. The weird in-between when you are a kid. ALL my fucking family (including my mom) would pressure me to lose weight because "it was a shame with such a beautiful face." Did I became anorexic or bullimic? No! I became overweight, angry and shy.

You see, I have the same pressures of society, family, men, etc. But my case is totally different.

Some days I walk with great makeup and great clothes feeling like a plus size model. Other times I feel like a big heap of crap. Both days I will eat something I am not supposed to. I am an emotional eater, I eat when angry, happy, sad, confused...I love to eat. I try to diet and eat healthy but it's a daily struggle. A daily sacrifice. I know that it will be rewarded with better fitting clothes and the stupid bikini I wanna wear again.

So if you are a skinny bitch and you complain in front of me about your weight I am going to slap you in the back of your head....I promise!

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