Dec 5, 2008

Heaven on a bun


Ever since the Food Network turned fine dining into pornography, there’s been this boom for all things gourmet. All of a sudden, everyone is an amateur chef and delicacies such as truffles and arugula have become a bit too democratic for my taste. The New Gourmet movement has turned basic items into haute cuisine. Hell, even kids are in on the scam thanks to Ratatouille!

I bring this up because I just had the best roast beef sandwich of my life. Yep, a simple roast beef sandwich. Nothing fancy about that, right? In an age in which everyone is trying to be fancy, the simple pleasures in life truly stand out. People, this sandwich was pure heaven on rye, with a dash of horseradish. Cold, pink, rare beef, the kind you only find at some Jewish deli in Lower Manhattan.

As I savored that glorious meat, my jaw hurting from having to open so wide, I was taken back to all of those “gourmet” meals I’ve been treated to over the years. I’m talking about that prix-fixe crap that, after dropping $200.00 PER PERSON, you have to head over to Burger King to tame your hunger.

People, I love to eat. I love food. There is no dish I’ll refuse. And experimentation is my thing: Indian, Arab, Greek, Thai, Vietnamese, South African, Russian, German… it’s all good. And I appreciate a good meal when it really stands out. But, what am I supposed to do with a $45.00 plate of legumes with three slices of overcooked duck? How is it that a salad is more expensive than a prime rib? Just because you sprinkle some unpronounceable spices on potatoes doesn’t mean you can charge me $35.00 for it. This gourmet thing has really gotten out of hand… and the quality of the cooking isn’t even that great. And don’t even get me started on celebrity chefs. My boy Charlie serves up some serious pizzas, not that California Wolfgang crap.

Nothing has ever made my knees buckle like that damn sandwich. And it only cost $5.95, with a huge pickle on the side included.

Bon appetite.

5 comments:

Me said...

No red onion?

;-)

RestrictionsApply said...

That would be "gourmet"

You know who said...

hey! Dude when are you meeting me for lunch? Remember that little greek place we went? LOL We need a lunch! Pronto!

RestrictionsApply said...

Uh, it's Turkish, not Greek...

Joker said...

"I had to open my mouth so wide it hurt"


"and it comes with a big pickle".

Sounds to me like you were just in the mood to get stuffed full o meat lol. But do agree, though going snazzy is delightful, sometimes you need to down something that is borderline questionable to remember that when there's real hunger, we really could care less what meat goes into a hot dog.

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