Irrational Fucksimile

If you've ever worked a promo, chances are you've learned the meaning of what a facsimile is. If this is the case, then good for you, you learned a Sunday word that will either help you finish the crossword puzzle, get an answer right in the cash cab or put a hamper on any one who opposes you in scrabble.

A facsimile is basically a reasonable representation or reproduction of x or y material. Why is this important? Well if you see a promo contest and you've always wondered if you could win it, know that you can thanks to one tiny little phrase that puts the power in your hands and your creativity: no purchase necessary.

That's right kids, most if not all contests DO NOT require you to buy anything. You can just mail in participations and harass your way into the winners bin if you waste enough time, paper and ink.

So how exactly do you make a facsimile? Basically you cut a piece of paper in a shape that roughly resembles a square or rectangle, scribble information that looks like a bar code painted under the influences of pure mezcalin, put your information, and voila. You have yourself a facsimile and your first step into playing with the system that so gingerly fucks parents over into buying cereals their kids won't eat only to be able to participate to win one of 33,436 plush toys with your proof of purchase.

That last part is the punchline to this whole scenario though. To participate you need to send proofs of purchase but by law, most contests can't exclude people like that so they have to say, "send your proofs of purchase to participate" followed by "no purchase necessary".

So what that pretty much means is that you can have some fun and demonstrate how much you don't have to play the game. If you want to make it better, make a weekend activity out of this and decide whether to write your real name to see you can actually win a prize or get a group to write phony names into the winners ballot.

So though this following phrase has been used a lot before, it definitely applies here if you see a company that doesn't approve of your legal cluster fuck: Don't hate the player, hate the game.

cheers