A month ago, while in agony because my Netflix Queue was a little bit thin, our friend Alex Chesbro recommended "Darkon", amongst other great ideas. I gravitated to the film because I have been roaming the Comic Conventions for quite a while, seeing cosplayers all around me. I thought... thought... that this movie was about cosplaying taken to eleven.
I was dead wrong. This is NERD TO ELEVEN.
First of all, thank you Alex. Honestly, I laughed, got extremely pissed, wondered how the future of humanity will play off... This is one FUCKED UP documentary.
So why did Alex and I enjoyed the film (if you can say enjoy, I can bet we watched in horror, basically)? Well, Darkon is about... Role playing? According to Wikipedia: Darkon is an award-winning feature-length documentary film that follows the real-life adventures of the Darkon Wargaming Club in Baltimore, Maryland, a group of fantasy live-action role-playing (LARP) gamers.
That's putting it midly and sugarcoating the hell out of a definition. Darkon is about extreme nerds and what they "do" every other sunday. Take a normal 30 year old. Now, get his brains and switch them with a 17 year old who needs to have friends and be a hero at the same time.
From what I could understand - I was in extreme duress while watching, mostly from the horror of watching grown adults behaving like pure idiots - Darkon is a game. These "people" are playing pretend on your local park, to be on a sort of medieval times. It's like Dungeon and Dragons but on crack. They hit each other, soft combat style.
What is soft combat? Imagine a wooden sword. Then, pad the hell out of it. Then hit. That's it. Soft combat is mainly getting hit by padded stuff and then, you pretend you are dead. Oh, while you are dressed head to toe in Medieval garb. Lovely.
Darkon follows two main characters and his "friends" on the quest of... being a padded hero? There's a king, there are countries that have to be conquered - all in a sort of camping site. One is the king of all ner... I mean kings, the other is a high up dude who wants to challenge the ner... I mean king. What ensues is pure comedy for some, tragedy for mankind for me.
Did I like it? I fucking LOVED it. This is a true WHAT THE FUCK documentary. I mean... What are adults in this generation? Do adults play pretend and then shower to go to the office? Do some people need to be kings and queens, elves and Frodos... and then get home and make dinner for kids? Who are kids and who are adults nowadays?
If you can't understand a word I have written, let's give you a sort of example. Imagine Lord of the Crap... I mean Kings. Now, take your average thirty to forty year old friends and imagine that they dress up like retards and play Frodo, Legolas, Sam and other idiotic hobbits. They walk to the nearest park and then... they act out, scene by scene the entire "trilogy". Yeah. That fucked up.
The difference between doing Tolkien and Darkon is... Darkon does not have a script. All the beefs inside the different leagues are acted out that sunday. If someone disagrees with a certain "law", they battle. With padded shit. Still dressed as idiots. This is just one of those documentaries you have to watch because not a word that I write will do it justice.
At the end, I laughed, I paused the movie because I needed to wiki Darkon so I knew this was not bullshit, I got pissed (I hate adults behaving like morons)... But I am left here, wondering... Will it ever stop? Will we ever have a normal generation? What is normal? Hm.
PS: I'll give you the trailer so maybe you can get interested in taking nerdness to the next level. Enjoy.
6 comments:
I'm glad you enjoyed this flick. If anyone else wants to watch this clusterfuck of a movie, but doesn't have NetFlix, the whole glorious thing is on Hulu. I don't have the link handy right now, but it's there.
In "Role Models," with Stiffler and Paul Rudd, there's also some "LARP" going on, and hilarity ensues. The problem (but is it a problem?) is that the fictional comedy version of LARP in Role Models is completely indistinguishable from Darkon.
Please note that when LARPing, you must speak in Elizabethan English... Oi vey!
Saw this a while ago, didn't think anybody else on the planet had.
I don't mind what people do for fun (if it doesn't get in the way of others), so if it makes 'em happy, go do your soft combat. (How do you decide when somebody dies or is wounded?)
Everybody wants to be important and special, I suppose. Even if it's pretending to rule a section of a Baltimore-area public park whilst dressed in medieval gear, swinging a giant stick covered in padding.
I hit them one time, they're wounded.
I hit them two times, they're agoizing.
I hit them three times, they're dead.
It's a sort of honor code.
Oh. I hit them five times... they finally forget their imaginary friends and actually get laid. Yeyyyy!
Is this something you can put on a resume? I'm just thinking about how weird it would sound. Here's my potential "awards" or "other" section:
1.One Show Gold Pencil
2. Finished 3rd Ironman Hawaii
3. Leader of the Smackadork clan and defender of the Realm of Geekodor.
Kinda has a ring to it, doesn't it?
You can watch Darkon for free on the online documentary distribution company SnagFilms for free! http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/darkon/ Check it out. Definitely worth it.
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