Mar 8, 2010

And the wiener is

Oscar night it was and an Oscar revolution we were promised, but when it was all said and done, it was like an album from Creed: cheesy, sappy, runs too long, it’s anything but original and you’re almost embarrassed to admit you listened to it (or watched it in this case). If you want the nutshell version, let’s sum things up by repeating what many people have written online, this wasn’t a terrible awards show, it was just ho-hum and like so many people, I just think that the fact that we finished a decade has gone unnoticed. Instead of a long winded rant, let’s slice and dice this to keep this post from being a drag.

1. The Red Carpet - I’m not a huge fan of “la alfombra roja”, but this year there were two things that really stood out.

A.) Kathy Ireland is officially non-biodegradable because she couldn’t be more plastic in her interviews.

B.) I'm gonna channel that inner gay guy we all have and just blurt it out... it was friz central. Seriously, it had rained and a lot of people looked like crap… and then there was Sandra Bullock and Kate Winslet looking downright regal just to make all the frizzy critters hate them even more.

2. The opening: Neil Patrick Harris finally got the chance to channel his Brokeback Blind Side and did a showtune to open up the event. It was kind of funny but after last year’s Hughtastic opening, it felt coke-bottle-open-for-three-days flat in comparison. Nothing against the guy, lord knows Harold and Kumar need him to have me interested, but it was just ok and he’s not half the singer Jackman is.

3. The hosts. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin weren’t bad. They just didn’t downright blow me away. Not even close. Far from close. Distant. Eons away. Well you get the picture. They were just ok but had some great moments, just too few and too far between. Which means the Oscars writers were as epic as ever…………………….. not

4. WTF moments:

A. Kanye West’s nanny stealing the mic. Who was that lady and why didn't they start cat fighting?

B. Ben Stiller making an ass out of himself again. It was sometimes funny, sometimes weird, and always Stiller, which is either great or nauseating depending on whether you like him or not.

C. The dancers interpreting the music… It would have been nice if the routines had anything to do with the music. To me it felt disjointed, weird, and stupid, while still showcasing a massively talented crew… maybe that’s what they meant by the Oscars being revolutionary, or maybe it was just always a bad idea to have people doing the Robot to interpret Up.

D. George Clooney looking like Seth Gecko about to go Tarantino on Martin and Baldwin. Seriously Georgie, why the scowl?

5. Fail moments

a. Miley Cyrus in general. If you demand to be treated like an adult, act like one. “Oh my god we’re just so nervous.” What the Flying, Floating, Running, Sinking or Buried fuck? Someone please lock her up and throw away the key.

b. The hosts not ripping into Zac Effron and Taylor Lautner. You had your chance… and you let it slip away. Shame on thee.

c. The dancer interpreting the music. It was WTF AND a Fail.

d. Basterds not winning anything except best supporting actor. This movie was better than that even if the Academy Awards had a different agenda.

e. Avatar beating The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus in Art Direction. Unlike the huge movie that blue, Parnassus was brilliant in its weirdness daring your imagination to go places it never thought of instead of taking you to places all too familiar in Pandora.

f. The Original Song category. Crazy Heart won… but not much going on in that category. Serious fail.

g. Coraline not being nominated for best score. Seriously people. I know I’m a mark and love the movie too much, but ignoring that score is as bad as overlooking The Fountain’s.

h. No Farrah Fawcett, Bea Arthur or Henry Gibson in the In Memoriam… seriously WTF.

6. Success moments

a. Christoph Waltz winning. If you haven’t seen Inglorious Basterds, you ARE a basterd.

b. Jeff Bridges getting the nod. I’m bummed for Clooney, but there has to be a winner and a loser. Jeff was channeling his inner dude, and I like that he uses 'man' in every sentence. $20 he smoked before the carpet.

c. Sandra Bullock giving the best speech of the night.

d. The short films guys showing how to accept a speech. Seriously classy guys all around.

e. Up winning for best score. It WAS the best score and I’m so glad Avatar didn’t win. It has the most personality and really knows how to tug at your heart strings without treading trodden ground.

f. Mo’Nique winning for best supporting actress. Still haven’t seen Precious, but if anything, the awards have made me want to not be ignorant about this flick.

g. Steve Martin citing that the audience was the motherlode for any Jew hunter.

7. Who got snubbed

a. Up in The Air – Great movie that didn’t win anything…. Seriously... nothing….?? If you say so Oscar.

b. Inglorious Basterds – We knew this was coming. It still hurts to see it happen. Quentin should be used to it by now, but alas… I am not.

c. Coraline – I loved Up. Please don’t take my comments as if I was an Up hater because I’m not. My gripe with the movie if any is that the beginning (first 30 minutes) and the end (last 8 minutes) are so strong, that the middle part kind of feels wanting. Coraline however blew me away from start to finish. And I’m clear that I’m a minority in this, but that the movie didn’t get a nod in other categories did bother me a bit because if it wasn’t going to win, then so be it… but that it doesn’t get mentioned? Well I cry foul.

8. Who got overhyped

a. The Hurt Locker – I haven’t seen the movie because 6 people have said it’s good, but that it isn’t amazing. A Saving Private Ryan this isn’t. But hey, if it gets James Cameron off the podium, so be it. I’m glad it’s the first woman to win a Best Director nomination… I just wish she had actually been the best director.

b. Avatar – Clearly the movie deserves the Best Visual Effects category. But that’s about it. Maybe Sound Mixing and Editing. But Art Direction and Cinematography? Really? Ok, Oscar, whatever you say.

Though the Oscars are on their way to becoming a slight joke, it still does hold a hell of a lot more credibility than oh say the Grammys. I just feel as if every year there’s some new agenda that’s on the plate. The night was predictable based on the hype, my highlights included a couple of acceptance speeches and seeing James Cameron be denied but apart from that… I seriously can’t figure out why I stayed up so late. What did you think?

Anyways, below is a list of the winners in case you were wondering.


BEST PICTURE: "The Hurt Locker"

DIRECTING: Kathryn Bigelow "The Hurt Locker"

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE: Sandra Bullock "The Blind Side"

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE: Jeff Bridges in "Crazy Heart"

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: "The Secret in Their Eyes (El Secreto de Sus Ojos)" Argentina

FILM EDITING: "The Hurt Locker" Bob Murawski and Chris Innis

DOCUMENTARY (FEATURE): "The Cove" Louie Psihoyos and Fisher Stevens

VISUAL EFFECTS: "Avatar" Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham and Andrew R. Jones

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SCORE) "Up" Michael Giacchino

CINEMATOGRAPHY: "Avatar" Mauro Fiore

SOUND MIXING: "The Hurt Locker" Paul N.J. Ottosson and Ray Beckett

SOUND EDITING: "The Hurt Locker" Paul N.J. Ottosson

COSTUME DESIGN: "The Young Victoria" Sandy Powell

ART DIRECTION: "Avatar": Art Direction: Rick Carter and Robert Stromberg; Set
Decoration: Kim Sinclair

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Mo'Nique in "Precious: Based on the novel 'Push' by Sapphire"

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY): "Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher

MAKEUP: "Star Trek" Barney Burman, Mindy Hall and Joel Harlow

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION): "The New Tenants" Joachim Back and Tivi Magnusson

DOCUMENTARY (SHORT SUBJECT): "Music by Prudence" Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED): "Logorama" Nicolas Schmerkin

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY): "The Hurt Locker" Written by Mark Boal

MUSIC (ORIGINAL SONG):"The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)" from "Crazy Heart" Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett


ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE: Christoph Waltz in "Inglourious Basterds


Me said...

Sometimes you scare me, dude. I was just thinking about doing this exact same post. LOL. Evil minds think alike, right?

Joker said...

Hehehe, I know it happens. Evil minds, DEFINITELY think alike. What did you think about the show though?

Me said...

Truly wtf...

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